Temptation (49 page)

I open my bedroom door and again, it looks like the entire house has been cleaned. My bed is made, the clothes I remember being on the floor are gone. I sigh, hating that I don’t live here anymore. I wish things had worked out differently, but I can’t change the past. I grab a duffle bag out of the closet and I start to fill it with some of my things. I go to my dresser to grab more clothes when I see some of Viktor’s shirts sitting neatly by mine. I touch them, remembering when he moved in. I sigh deeply as I shut the drawer and I pick up a picture of Viktor, Gabbie, and I. I sit down on the bed as I stare at it. I don’t know how long I just sit and stare at the picture of us. We are happy, all three of us smiling. And I realize how much I miss being happy. How much I miss Viktor. I never knew how happy I could be with someone else. After Malcolm had left almost two years ago, I never let myself think about it. But, somehow, Viktor got to me. Made me love him.

I touch his face on the picture reliving memory after memory of us together. Of how he used to laugh, and make Gabbie laugh. How he’d just look at me and I knew he wanted me, making me feel loved. I remember all the times I danced for him at the club and how much he loved to watch me. I think about the first time he made me orgasm on the couch, and the first time he made love to me. The memories are overwhelming.

I stand quickly, dropping the picture when I hear him clear his throat. “Viktor, what are you doing here?” I can’t believe he’s here. And dammit, my body comes alive just by seeing him again. I finally feel my heart racing again. I feel my stomach doing flips, then I think maybe that’s the baby.

“You’re mom called me.”

“What? Why would she do that?”

“Well, her exact words were, ‘Get your ass over there now’ and I did what I was told.”

I still can’t believe he’s here. Somehow, I can’t be angry with mom at telling him where I was. She’s been pushing me to talk or see him for weeks now. It’s surreal seeing him again, but I can tell he hasn’t been sleeping much. He really needs to shave and his eyes look tired. Maybe he’s been working hard, and not feeling the same thing I am. Regret. Hurt. But most of all, sadness. “I just came to get a few things.” I tell him, not really knowing what else to say.

“Yeah, your mom told me.”

We both stare at each other, not really knowing what to say or do. I decide I need to leave, so I bend down and pick up my bag. “I’m just … I’m going to go.” I start to walk out the door but Viktor lightly touches my arm.

“Please, Ava. Stay.”

“Why, Viktor?”

He turns me to him and says, “Because, I fucking miss you and I want to talk to you. It can’t end this way. I won’t let it end like this.”

“Okay, Viktor. We can talk but not in here.” I look back to the bed and think this is definitely not the place we need to have this conversation. He nods, trying not to girn, and picks up my bag. I follow him downstairs, and he sits my bag by the couch. He sits down and he pats the cushion beside him for me to sit. I do, but not right by him. I need distance and I need my head to be clear for us to be able to talk.

I move trying to get comfortable. I remember the sonogram picture in my back pocket, and I know this is time to tell him. “Viktor, I …”

“No, please, Ava. Let me say this first and if you still want to leave and not be with me, then I won’t stop you.”

“Alright.”

He sighs and he moves closer to me. I look away, wishing I didn’t feel so shy around him again. “Please don’t shy away from me. I just need to be near you.”

“I’m sorry, Viktor. I just …” I clear my throat, feeling a lump forming. “You really hurt me.”

“I know,
moya lyubov'
, and for that I am so very sorry.” He wipes a tear from my face that I hadn’t realized fell. “Please, don’t cry. I hate what I did to you and I hate myself more each day knowing you feel as though I used you.”

“You did. Viktor, you only stayed because I was a part of some fucked up revenge plan.”

His hand drops from my face and he says, “In the beginning yes. I know what I did was stupid and selfish. But, I promise you, after I started to get to know you and the more I stayed around you and Gabbie, it wasn’t like that.” I can see he’s sincere from the look in his eyes, but can I believe him? “I can’t go back and change what I did. I still don’t know I would if I could. Meeting you and Gabbie has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I hated myself with each passing day that I didn’t tell you about the birth certificate or tell you what my intentions were. I know it was wrong. I know I should’ve never gone through with it, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was angry and I saw a way to get back at Malcolm. I thought by taking his family away that would make him suffer.”

I still don’t understand why Viktor felt the need to do all of this to Malcolm. I cross my arms around my waist feeling my stomach flutter. “I still don’t understand why, Viktor.”

He rubs his face with his hand and then runs it through his hair. “I was in a bad place back then. I was angry at everyone. Nothing in my life had any meaning and I really didn’t see a purpose in life anymore. I was still angry with Misty for what she did to me all those years ago, and at the time, I thought Sebastian had betrayed me too. I held on to that anger for so long. I didn’t know how to let it go and move on. Then Malcolm came to me one night asking for a loan, and I didn’t hesitate in giving it to him. When Malcolm skipped out on me, I channeled all my anger onto him. A part of me wanted to make him pay, then the other part of me was jealous.”

“Jealous? Of Malcolm?” I never thought Viktor would ever be jealous of Malcolm.

“He had everything any person could want. He had the money that he blew with gambling. He had the girl.” He touches my leg and says, “He was going to have the beautiful family I wanted. I couldn’t understand why a man like him could care so less about something so important. Once I found out his father knew my biggest client, and how they actually owned another business together, I was overwhelmed and consumed by the rage. I knew there was no way I could get my money back from him. The client was into some criminal activities and since Malcolm’s father and the client had been friends since college, I knew Malcolm’s father wouldn’t let his friend go down. Also, I couldn’t risk losing one of my biggest clients. There was no way Malcolm was going to be a man and take care of it himself. Then I realized he let his parents take care of it by whisking him away. I just didn’t get it. Why in the world Malcolm treated you the way he did, then left you and Gabbie to get away from me. I would’ve never ran away like a coward.”

“Is that why you were so against him seeing Gabbie?”

“Partly, yes. I didn’t think he deserved a second chance with her. The other part, was because I didn’t want him here. I knew eventually you would find out what I did, and you’d think I used you.”

I look down at his hand on my leg. I still feel like I was used. I feel as though the entire time he was with me, it was nothing but lies after lies. I glance back up at him and ask, “Was any of it real for you?”

“Oh,
moya lyubov'
. It was all real for me. Nothing I told you was a lie, expect the part with Malcolm. I’ve never once lied to you how I feel about you or how much you mean to me. Even when I saw you and Malcolm that day at your parent’s house. I still love you, even if you gave him another chance.”

“I knew that was you. You don’t have to worry about Malcolm anymore. He was telling me goodbye that day. Is that why you stopped trying to talk to me?”

“Yes. I hated it, but I thought if you really wanted him, I would let you go. Clearly I was wrong about that.”

“Yes, you were. You were wrong about a lot of things, Viktor.”

“I know,
moya lyubov'
. But I’m begging for you to forgive me and give me another chance.”

I look away from him, not ready to give in yet. There’s still more I need to know. “Did the lawyer know what you had done?”

“Yes. Once she looked over all the documents she instantly figured it out. I’m not proud of it, but she told me I’d fucked up.”

“Is that why you were so angry that day?”

He rubs his face and says, “Yes. I was angrier with myself, and what I’d done. I knew I couldn’t change it. I didn’t know how to make it all go away, and I knew it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down on me.” He glances at me and tells me, “I am so dammed sorry. I don’t want you to ever think I used you. Please tell me you believe me.”

“I want to believe you, I really do. But I don’t know how we move on from this.”

“Let me prove it to you. I’ve told you before, I’ll remind you every day that you’re mine.” He uncrosses my arms and pulls me into his lap. I let him wanting him to touch me. I’ve missed him so much and his touch. “I’ll tell you all the time how much I love you, how much I need you. I hate when we’re not together and I’ve been just existing since you left. You are my everything Ava. Everything I do will be for you and Gabbie.” He takes both hands and caresses my face. I look into his eyes as he says, “Please Ava. Let me love you and show you how much I do. Let me make it up to you for the rest of our lives. I can’t promise it’ll be perfect, but I can promise you, I’ll never hurt you again. I’ll make damn sure you trust me again. Please,
moya lyubov'
. Let me show you.” 

I want to, so badly just to say yes to him, but instead of saying yes, I ask, “Have you been staying here since we left?” I think I already know what his answer will be, I just want to hear him tell me.

“Yes. I couldn’t take being away from you, and somehow being here made the pain a little easier to handle. It’s been harder than I thought since I let Sebastian take over the club.”

“What?” Surely I misunderstood him.

“I let Sebastian have the club. I’m still the owner, but he’s going to run it now. I couldn’t do it anymore, Ava. Every night I walked in the club, all I saw was you. I ached to see you again, to see you on stage doing the one thing you loved to do. A part of me would break each time I went into work, and knowing you weren’t there.”

I sigh, knowing I can’t fight it anymore. He’s always been the one temptation I haven’t wanted to fight even though I tried like hell to do so. I take his hands off my face, and I lean down and I kiss him. I hear him groan and I feel his hands touch my back. He pulls me closer to him as he deepens his kiss. Our kiss is full of passion, want, and need. Everything I’ve ever wanted. I slowly pull away and say, “There’s something more I need to tell you.”

He places my hair behind my ear and says, “What is it,
moya lyubov'
? You can tell me anything.”

I smile feeling my heart race. I’ve missed these feelings he brings out of me. “First, I want you to teach me Russian so I can understand you when you talk in Russian.”

“I can do that.” He grins and says, “What else,
moya lyubov'
?”

“Secondly, you can tell me what you just said means. Think of it as my first lesson.”

He chuckles and kisses me again. When he pulls away he tells me, “
Moya lyubov'
, means ‘My love’.”

I frown for a second thinking about when the first time he called me that. “You’ve called me that for a long time.”

“I have.”

“I’m yours, Viktor?”

“Yes, my love. You’re mine for as long as you’ll have me.” His head tilts to the side as he stares at me.

“What?”

“I don’t know. You look different somehow. I noticed when I first saw you, but I can’t figure out why.” I feel my face flush and I reach around to my back pocket. I slowly pull out the picture and I keep it hidden for a minute. “What is it?”

“This is the last thing I promise.”

“Okay, are you going to tell me or you going to leave me in the dark?”

I bring the grainy picture of our little baby from behind my back and I hold it up for him to see. His face lights up as it dawns on him that he’s going to be a daddy. Not just because he forged a birth certificate, but because him and I made this tiny miracle together.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

He stands up, picking me up in the process. I hold on to him, not expecting him to get up so quickly. “You’re pregnant?” he asks again.

I laugh and say, “Yes, Vik. We’re going to have a baby.”

He kisses me and as he pulls away, I watch as he smiles that beautiful smile that reaches his eyes. I can tell he’s overjoyed right now. He spins me around, and we both laugh as he stops. “We’re having a baby! I can’t believe it! I love you, Ava.”

“I love you too, Viktor.” My breath catches in my throat as he slowly sinks down to his knees. He gently pulls up my shirt, and touches my stomach. He says something in Russian, and I smile knowing he’s thrilled. Just like mom said he would be. He kisses me on my belly and rises up.

He kisses me once more and as he pulls away he says, “I can’t believe this. We’re going to have a baby! Have you told Gabbie yet?”

I laugh loving how excited he is about this. “No, not yet.”

“Good. Let’s go get her and tell her together.”

“Okay, Vik.” He holds out his hand and I place mine in his. We walk out the door together and we start the drive to get Gabbie.

Things might not be perfect for us, but as long as I have Gabbie, Viktor, and our new baby coming, I think that’s pretty damn close to it. I never knew life could be this way, and I’m so glad I gave into the temptation.

Into Viktor.