Temptation (Journal of the Wolves of Spruce Hollow) (20 page)

It was heavenly.

I could just fill myself up on her pie alone, but then my mom would be breathing down my neck and giving me a lecture about healthy eating and all things in moderation, blah, blah, blah.

Roan always said that I was way too skinny; so, I’m not sure why it would bother my mother if I grabbed an entire pie and a fork and went and hid somewhere and ate it. Not that I would ever do something like that with one of Nana Rosie’s butterscotch pies.

Of course not! I would eat half, then hide the rest to bring home for later. Duh.

                ***

I
sat down on my bed to pull up my red and green Christmas socks when I noticed a shiny, silver box tied with a pink satin ribbon.

What the heck was this?

I picked up the box and read the attached tag; it said “Merry Christmas, little girl”.

 In Roan’s handwriting!

I eagerly ripped off the bow and opened the shiny box. Inside lying on a black velvet backing, was a white gold filigree bracelet.

It was beautiful and delicate and as I held my breath and picked it up with shaking hands to admire it, I noticed that there were two charms attached. A tiny black enamel wolf with white gold accents and a tiny, white gold little girl figurine with tiny emerald chip eyes.

I hugged it to my chest as two, big fat tears rolled down my face. It was the most personal gift Roan had ever given me and I was speechless with joy. Usually for Christmas, he usually gave me things like books, CD’s, sporting equipment or clothes, but never something so beautiful and delicate as this.

How did he get this for me when he was still up at the training camp? And who put it on my pillow?

Caver.

I bet it was Caver. Roan probably told him to pick out a present for me. I wonder if he was aware that Roan didn’t give me things like this?

I didn’t care, it was still beautiful and the most important part of it all was that Roan hadn’t forgotten about me. I picked up the box, still sniffling, and looked at it. The handwriting on the tag was Roan’s; there was no mistaking his bold penmanship.

Gently pulling out the black velvet and freeing the bracelet from the silver box, I noticed that there was a note folded and tucked inside the bottom cover of the box. I ripped it out and unfolded it with shaking hands:

“Aspen, I am sorry that I missed Christmas. I hope you like the bracelet; I picked it out myself. I’ll be home soon. Be good, little girl. Love, Roan”

I fell back on the bed, holding the bracelet to my cheek and reading the note over and over again. My insides felt hot and fluttery inside, like my blood was heating up. Roan had never written “Love Roan” on anything destined for my eyes before and it made my heart pound wildly against my chest.

Maybe writing it was a prelude to actually saying it? My teenaged, hormone soaked brain was nearly rendered non-operational at the thought.

Did Roan love me? Love me in what kind of way? Love me like a friend? A sister? The girl he wanted to marry someday? There were just so many ways you could love someone.

I knew, without a doubt, that I loved him, that’s for sure. There was no doubt in my mind. And that love had grown and matured over the past year from the childlike hero worship I had for him as a kid to this barely contained inferno of lust and longing that threatened to spill over and scorch everything in it’s path.

This entire thing was so unlike him. The bracelet. The note. The “Love, Roan.” And yet, here it was, and in his own handwriting, no less.

I was truly content for the first time since Roan had left for the training camp, over a month and a half ago. It was a long time and I had been feeling the distance more acutely lately.

Roan had said he’d be home soon and I couldn’t wait to see him. I missed him so intensely; my entire being was saturated with yearning and desire to occupy the same space as him once again.

Where was my phone? I wanted to take a picture of me wearing my bracelet and send it to Roan and to let him know that I loved it.

I thought my Mom’s gift of driving lessons had been the best gift I’d ever received but I was so wrong! This bracelet from Roan was, by far, the most precious gift someone had ever given me because it was more than just a gift.

It was an expression of love.

And therefore told me that Roan had feelings for me, just as I did for him.

He had to. I mean, why else would he have sent me such a personal gift?

I put the bracelet on and went off in search of my phone. It was on my bedside table, under the book I had been reading before falling asleep last night. I quickly turned it on and snapped a picture of it draped across my wrist. The bracelet sparkled and shined and somehow looked like it belonged there.

Excitedly, I composed a few words and ended the text with “Love Aspen”, just like he had done. I was about to hit send, when something inside me made me hesitate.

It was a gigantic, hefty dose of doubt. What if I was wrong? What if I was reading into things too much? Maybe it WAS just a beautiful, thoughtful present and nothing more?

Oh lord.

If I looked at things clearly, on one side there was Roan. Muscular, dominant and the pack Beta. He was the type of man that women would fight each other and draw blood for.

Then there was me: short and skinny with a mop of horribly curly hair. I never got asked out on dates and I was sure that I was going to die a virgin. Yeah, I’m so sure I was Roan’s dream girl.

Give your head a shake, Aspen. You’re not in his league.

You never will be.

Roan was too beautiful and seductive, like a dancing flame that beckoned the hapless moth. I didn’t want my fate to be similar to the one suffered by the moth.

But it’s just that thinking about Roan made my body feel tight all over and ready to explode, that’s how badly I wanted him to be mine. I longed for him. I don’t think I had ever felt such unfulfilled desire for anything in my entire life.

I worried that these feelings weren’t normal, like maybe something was psychologically wrong with me because the hunger I felt for Roan had grown stronger over the past year and was physically painful at times. Painful. I mean, what kind of weird Were mojo had Roan cast over me to make me feel physical and emotional pain for him?

Roan had never given me any indication that any of these intense feelings were reciprocated in the least on his part and I really needed to accept that just because I felt those feelings towards Roan, it didn’t mean that he did too. Besides, if I stood back and looked at the situation logically, there was no way he could have meant what I thought he did when he was writing those words out to me.

So, I erased my text and replaced it with the message “Thank you Roan, it’s beautiful, I love it.”

Reluctantly, I jumped up from my bed and went to the living room to show my mom and Caver what Roan had given me for Christmas. 

But, I really wanted to curl up in bed and have a good cry. Loving Roan was painful.

                ***

I
heard my phone go off next to the bed. I picked it up and squinted at the screen with sleepy eyes.

It was from Aspen.

I opened the text and saw a picture of her delicate little wrist wearing the bracelet I’d bought her for Christmas and I smiled. I was glad that she liked it as much as I thought she was going to.

My wolf was rather pleased with himself.

“We have taken care of our mate’s emotional needs, of course I am pleased,” my wolf said haughtily.

“Yes, I know, relax. She’s very happy with her bracelet,” I replied. 

“It is not the bracelet that makes her happy, it is the implied bond and sense of intimacy behind it that is important to her,” my wolf said.

I knew she would like it as soon as I saw it in the store. I worried that maybe it was too personal of a gift, but who was I trying to kid here, I had two pictures of her breasts and three or four of her wearing nothing but panties and a tiny tank top saved to my phone.

She had really enjoyed toying with me over the last month and a half, sending me pictures and dirty texts with the promise that I could have the real thing if only I would ask for it.

And how I wanted to ask for it. 

It had shocked the hell out of me at first. I mean, this was Aspen we were talking about here. Small, cute, little girl Aspen. But over the past month, it became apparent really quickly that the cutesy version of Aspen was no longer the one in control.

Every time she would send me a text dripping with sexual innuendo, I would shut my phone off, then take the new Were out into the forest and run him half to death. I’m sure the new Were thought I was a real hard ass, but truthfully, the physical release of running was more for me than him.

Reading the sexual texts from Aspen was difficult. It was a literal, and sometimes visual, representation of her increasingly sexuality and my wolf wanted to crash through the woods and run to her like a horny teenager.

I would usually take a cold shower instead.

Sometimes even that wasn’t enough and I would lay awake in bed at night, consumed with thoughts of her. Thinking about her led to looking at the pictures she’d sent me and then my dick would get painfully hard and throb with need.

Usually, I would end up touching myself when things got out of control like that. I would think about dominating her, being buried between her legs while we blood bonded and I would orgasm hard and fast with the image of us together burned into my soul.

Still, I was not satisfied.

Touching myself gave me some relief but it was always short lived. What I needed was to mate with Aspen but there was no way I would allow that to happen, not for a while at least.

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. My body felt tight and uncomfortable. I needed to phase and go out running.

I was glad that Aspen liked my gift though. I liked that she was happy because of something I did for her. It made my wolf prance around, puffed up with pride at pleasing her.

Aspen didn’t know it yet, but I would do absolutely anything for her.

Anything.

She was my entire life; my reason for being and maintaining distance between us was getting more and more difficult with her newly acquired sexual awareness.

Although I had made sure that Aspen was sheltered from the rougher, unsavory aspects of life as a little kid, she was pretty darn spoiled. I made sure she had the best of absolutely everything and she certainly never lacked for attention either. I was hers and did whatever her little heart desired.

Can we go to the park Roan?
Absolutely
. Can you read me another story?
Of course
. Can you play with me, Roan?
 I would love to
. Wanna have a tea party with me?
There’s nothing else I would rather do
.

She was mine. My little girl and there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

When she began expressing disappointment and then sadness through her texts that I would not be home for Christmas, I knew I needed to do something to help lessen the sting. So I called up Caver and gave him instructions to take her out to Johnson’s Tree Farm to look for a Christmas tree, complete with hot chocolate, just as I would have done with her.

Caver really didn’t want to, of course, he was watching a hockey game, but there’s no way in hell he would have disobeyed an order from me because he was below me in terms of the pack hierarchy. Besides, had he refused, I would have drug the new Were all the way back to Spruce Hollow just to teach Caver a lesson in respecting his Beta. 

And he knew it. However, he was still pissy about it but he’d grudgingly agreed.

Aspen had marched him around for an hour before she picked out an enormous tree, which Caver then had to get home and maneuver into the house. He’d called me to tell me that he’d completed the task but then proceed to tell me what a complete pain in the ass I was because the score was now 3-1 and he’d missed it, thank you very much. 

"Thanks Caver, I'm sure you've made Aspen very happy," I laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. She was pretty hyper and excited. You know, she freaking talks an awful lot when she's happy."

I could picture Aspen, smiling and happy, in my head and that was all that was important to me, Caver and his hockey game could go pound sand.

It was the same with the bracelet, even though I was stuck at the training camp, there was no way that I was going to miss Christmas entirely.

I’d asked Griff to come up to the training camp to stay with the new Were for a day or so while I went into town to pick out a Christmas gift for Aspen. I knew I could trust Griff to look after him; he wouldn’t let me down. Besides, the new Were was almost ready to come and live with the pack and wouldn’t give Griff any problem in the short amount of time that I would be gone.

As soon as I saw the delicate bracelet sitting in the sparkling case of our local jewelry store, I knew that it was meant to be worn on Aspen’s delicate wrist. There was something about the fragile beauty of the filigree that stood out from all the others in the case. Just like Aspen stood out above all other women, in my eyes.

I wondered if I was being too bold by including the two charms with it? I couldn’t resist after spying them in a jewellery display case sitting on top. It was too perfect and the symbolism was pretty hard to miss. A wolf and a little girl. Me and Aspen.

Together.

I didn’t care if she made the connection or not. I wanted her to wear it, this bracelet with a representation of me on it.

Aspen was mine and eventually not only would she wear this bracelet, she would also bear my mark, two tiny scars on her neck from where we’d blood bond together. I wanted to blood bond with her so badly, thinking about it lately had taken on a life of it’s own and had started giving me shivers just from thinking about it.

But for right now, I’d have to be content to mark her with this bracelet.

I’d brought the gift home, signed the tag and wrote her a note to place inside. It was short and sweet and to the point. I didn’t have time to sit and write a lengthy declaration of my undying love for her. I had to get back to the training camp, and besides, I wanted to go and take a look at Aspen at school before I left.