Tempted (11 page)

Jackson sat that way, with everything suspended round him, moving so slowly it could hardly be considered movement. He started when he felt a warm hand on his knee. He turned and his eyes met Sarah’s for the first time that day.

“
I didn’t know that you wouldn’t be slowed down too,” he said.

She shrugged. “I am not bound by the laws of time. This is always a good tool for spotting other spiritual beings,” she said as she removed her hand from his knee and placed it back in her own lap. “If you slow time around you and happen to see or interact with someone that stands outside of time as you do, then you know you’ve got an angel, demon, or Guardian with similar abilities on your hands.”

She smiled. “You’re doing it, Jackson!” she said excitedly, seeming to forget her earlier caginess. “You’re learning and growing already. If you accept the Guardianship, you’ll be great at it.”

“
You know,” he said slowly, placing one arm on the bench behind her, “when I joined the army, Vivian was so proud. She reminded me that military service was a longstanding tradition in the Bennett family. She told me that my enlisting meant something, gave me a purpose. She told me that I should be proud.”

“
Were you?”

Jackson laughed dryly, rolling his eyes as he remembered his early days as an Army recruit. “Not as much as I should have been at first. I was twenty years old; young, unattached, and stupid. After basic training I got stationed at Fort Hood in Texas. I spent most of my time drinking and messing around, trying to pick up girls and take them back to the barracks…believe me, in a place like Fort Hood, it wasn’t exactly hard. It was all about good times for me.”

“
What changed?” she asked, leaning toward him, her face rapt with curiosity. Jackson felt his pulse accelerate at her closeness. He cleared his throat and shifted on the bench.

“
September eleventh happened,” he said. “My first tour in Iraq changed everything. It forced me to grow up. After we came back from the first tour I met Rochelle and we got married. Not long after we got married she got pregnant with Jack. I started taking my job more seriously, and within a few years I made Sergeant. I promoted fast because of the war. A few more tours under my belt moved me up the ranks.”

“
Vivian must have been so proud.”

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Definitely. She never stopped reminding me how important it was that I was serving my country. I believed it, too. The Army defined me, it made me who I was. Before long I became like a mentor to younger soldiers coming in; guys like me, who needed discipline and structure.”

A lump rose in his throat as an image of Edward Reedley flashed through his mind. The boy had never even lived to see nineteen. Sarah moved closer to him on the bench, and when Jackson raised his head he saw tears rolling down her cheeks.

“
Did his death really affect you so much?” she asked as she swiped at her cheek with her hand. “I can’t even imagine.”

“
This last tour, right before we left his parents asked me—“ he trailed off, fighting down his own tears. “They stood on the parade field the day we left and asked me to take care of their son. They trusted me with his life. When that RPG round came flying at the Humvee, I knew there was no way I could get him out in time. Even though everything around me seemed frozen, I knew it was over. I was looking right in his eyes…we both heard the sound of the rocket…his eyes got real wide right before it hit, like he knew it was coming. And all I could do was stand there and watch.”

“
But I don’t understand. You did everything you could to save him.”

Jackson shook his head, the memory of what he had caused was almost too much to bear. “He never would have died if I hadn’t made such a stupid call. The route we took that day was my idea. I chose it because it had been a long day, and we were tired. Everyone trusted me with that decision and I led us straight into an ambush.”

“
You couldn’t have known—“

“
I know, but being the only person that survived the attack only added to my guilt. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing their faces; the faces of my friends, but also those Iraqi terrorists I killed. Once Lieutenant Rawls was dead, I jumped into the turret of the last Humvee standing and fired up into that ridge like a madman. I didn’t stop firing until they were all dead. Their faces haunt me just as much as my friend’s faces. Sometimes I have dreams that they’ve come back for revenge. I wake up screaming, fighting a person that’s not there.”

He paused and took a long, slow breath. His shoulders felt lighter just from having told her everything. He knew that she’d already seen it; she already knew what he’d been through. There was just something about saying it out loud that made him feel cleansed. He’d never even talked about the attack with Rochelle.

“
After we came back, everything just fell apart. The Army decided that I was no longer fit for duty. They gave me an honorable discharge and big fat check. After that I just felt lost. After all that talk about purpose and serving my country, I had no idea what my life was supposed to be now. And I’ve been this way ever since, shirking my responsibilities to my son and avoiding anything that requires any sort of decision-making because I’ve been so afraid to screw it all up again. Lives were ended because of me, and I didn’t want that sort of burden anymore. I didn’t want anyone else dragged down into my muck.”

Jackson knew they were both thinking of the day he’d told her to run. She hadn’t, and for the first time he was truly grateful for it.

“
It’s not too late Jackson,” she said gently. “I am here to offer you a new purpose, a new calling. You were born of a special race of humans, an elite group of people chose to bridge a very important gap in a world most people know nothing about. This is your chance to find focus, to change your life. And in time, maybe you’ll even be ready to become a real father to your son; you can give him what your father never gave you.”

“
That’s why I’ve decided to become a Guardian.”

Jackson didn’t realize he’d made the decision until the words were out of his mouth. With his words came the resolve he needed to see this thing through. Until now he hadn’t realized that he wanted it. He wanted it more than he’d wanted anything in his life.

Sarah squealed excitedly and threw her arms around his neck. Jackson used one arm to keep them balanced and wrapped the other around her waist. He silently buried his face in her hair and inhaled.

“
I’m so happy for you,” she said against his shoulder. “You won’t regret this.”

He pulled away reluctantly and stood. “This calls for a celebration, don’t you think? How about a late breakfast?”

“
Hot dogs?”

Jackson grinned. Her mouth was practically watering.

“
I had something a little more refined in mind. I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

They started off down the street, Mason trotting along beside them. Sarah didn’t protest when his arm came up around her shoulders.

In that moment, with Sarah against his side and Mason at his heels, Jackson wished he could suspend this moment in time forever. It was the first time in so long that things had felt almost perfect.

Chapter 14: The Decision

“
I don’t think you need me to tell you that you are on dangerous ground.”

Sarah stared into the murky depths of her teacup, avoiding Vivian’s piercing gaze. After breakfast—where Sarah had stuffed herself with scrambled eggs, bacon, and croissants spread with orange marmalade—she and Jackson had decided to take the subway across town to tell Vivian about Jackson’s decision.

Jackson had retreated upstairs to take a look at a leaking faucet for his grandmother, leaving the two women alone. Vivian had been staring at Sarah intently ever since they’d walked through the door. Even though she had the ability to see into the hearts and minds of most people, Sarah still felt utterly exposed in the woman’s presence.

“
I can handle this,” she said after a few more silent seconds. “I know what I’m doing.”

“
You haven’t spent much time around people, have you?”

Sarah wasn’t surprised by the woman’s shrewd assessment. Vivian was an Oracle, one who’d given birth to a Guardian and had probably spent a lot of time around angels. She knew things.

Sarah shook her head. “No, I’ll admit that I haven’t. You know that a messenger hardly has the time to spend hanging around humans. Until this assignment, I’d never had any prolonged interaction with one.”

“
You may not see it, but I can. You’ve got to end this before it starts, Sarah. For your own good and for Jackson’s.”

“
There is nothing to worry about,” she argued lamely, even though she knew that Vivian was right. As firm as she’d been in her dedication to her cause, she’d never imagined she could make so many mistakes. Before, she couldn’t understand how angels like Nathan allowed themselves to fall to temptation. It seemed inconceivable that an angel could willingly forfeit their soul in one mindless moment of passion.

But somehow, Jackson made her forget. He made her forget the fate that would await her if she continued on this path. He made her laugh and smile, and feel things she’d never felt before—things she’d never imagined she would feel. She placed her teacup in its saucer and placed it on the table in front of her.

“
Nothing to worry about?” Vivian raised one raven-black eyebrow. “Not even that kiss on the roof?”

Sarah’s cheeks heated and her hands shook. “It was one—“

“
I think we both know it won’t stop there. My son has feelings for you, Sarah. You’ve offered him hope and opened up his eyes to who and what he really is. Because of this, he has latched on to you like a life preserver. His feelings for you will only deepen.”

“
He’s accepted the Guardianship. My work here is almost done. Once he’s learned all he needs to know and receives his first assignment, I’ll be out of his life forever. There won’t be time for his feelings to deepen.”

Vivian shook her head. “Does he know what will happen? Does he know about the Fallen?”

“
It hasn’t come up,” Sarah said. “He doesn’t need to know that, because nothing is going to happen. It was one kiss, that’s all. It shouldn’t have happened, but I can’t do anything about that now. Now that Jackson’s made his decision, I’m more determined than ever to see this through. I won’t let anything happen.”

Vivian leaned back in her armchair and continued to stare at Sarah over the rim of her reading glasses. Sarah stared back just as silently, maybe even a bit defiantly. After a few moments Vivian nodded as if satisfied and lowered her gaze.

“
I trust you to ensure that it doesn’t.”

“
What did you and my grandmother discuss that had you so quiet on the way back?” Jackson asked. They were seated on the couch in his living room, the flickering light from the television casting their shadows against the wall. Sarah felt Jackson’s eyes on her as she stared unseeingly at the people on the screen.

“
Nothing that bears discussing now,” she said evasively. She forced a smile and turned to face him. “Nothing as important as you accepting your Guardianship. Tonight I’ll go and report back to Father; he’ll be so pleased.”

“
And then what?” he asked. The hand that rested absently on the couch behind her came up to the back of her neck. He squeezed gently at the tense muscles. She nearly swooned with pleasure.

“
There is a transformation process that you will undergo. Don’t worry,” she added, smirking at his worried expression, “it’s nothing that’s noticeable from the outside.”

He nodded. “Why do I have a feeling that I won’t have you in my life much longer?” he asked.

Sarah’s breath caught in her throat. She supposed this conversation was inevitable, but she knew it needed to happen. Just thinking about leaving Jackson behind for good made her feel like curling up on the floor and crying hysterically.

She’d never had the urge to cry before this week. Before Jackson, she’d never felt the need for companionship. Just being near him made the hundreds of years on earth before him seem hollow and lonely.

“
I’m sorry, but there is so much to be done,” she replied, fighting down the panic that rose in her at the thought of leaving him. “I am sure to have a new assignment almost immediately after we’re done.”

His hand came up to her face. Her cheek rested perfectly in his warm palm. He inched closer to her on the couch. “It’s not fair,” he murmured, his eyes lowering to her lips. “Why would God offer me a piece of heaven and then take it away from me?”

Before she could respond, his lips were on hers again, just as they had been on the roof. She melted into him, all thoughts of anything outside of this moment forgotten. Her hand came up to rest over his and their fingers intertwined.

Unlike the kiss on the roof, this one was not gentle or sweet. It was desperation, pure and simple, combining with passion to leave Sarah dizzy and breathless. Within seconds, his breath mingled with hers between their opened mouths, warm and sweet. Her head swam as both his arms came around her and pulled her up against his chest.

He devoured her, slowly at first and then with increasing intensity. His hands slid down to her waist, his thumbs circling slowly over her ribs. She brought her hands tentatively up to his chest, soothing the tingling in her palms by flattening them over his hard chest and smoothing them up to his broad shoulders. His muscles bunched and rippled beneath her hands as he slowly eased her to her back.