Her eyes narrowed, shooting fire at him. She looked furious and gorgeous with it. “You make it all sound so easy when really, it’s not. Though I’m sure you have no idea what it’s like, your life has been perfect.” She cleared her throat and lifted her chin, beautifully regal despite her looking like a ravished mess sitting on the floor in her pajamas. “I have an opportunity for a new job now. I can’t just let it go. What if there’s not another one when I come back? Then what’ll I do?”
“I’ll help you find a job.” He stood, offered her his hand, which she took, albeit reluctantly. The sulky expression on her face was adorable, though he knew he shouldn’t think like that. She was angry and she had every right to be. Hell, he was angry at himself for doing this to her. Toying with her. He was a sick, twisted bastard. “I know plenty of people. Someone should have use for a nanny. Or I could always hire you at Renaldi.”
“No,” she said vehemently as he pulled her up. She shook her head, her expression determined, and she stepped away from him, gaining distance. He missed her immediately. “Absolutely not. I won’t go from your house to your business, Matteo. I can’t.”
That hurt. Why, he wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t examine it now. “Regardless, I can help you, Paige. Let me do that for you. All I ask is you give me a little bit more of your time.”
She backed away farther, nibbling on her lower lip. Lips that were swollen from his kisses, and the urge to kiss her again was so strong, he had to fight it off with everything inside of him. “What you ask for isn’t as easy as you make it out to be.”
He breathed deep, unsure how to approach her. He’d made a mess of it. Wanting her, pushing her away. Needing her for Matty, because there was no doubt, Matty was madly in love with his nanny, and his boy needed her sweet yet firm guidance. “I’ve not handled this—you—correctly. And I’m sorry for that. But Matty needs you, Paige.
I
need you.”
She stood there, full of indecision. He could sense it, feel her emotions coming at him in strong, pulsating waves. “I’m scared,” she admitted, her voice small.
Well. That wasn’t the answer he expected. “Scared of what?”
“Scared of you, scared of this, us. Scared of leaving you and Matty. Scared of staying. I’m so confused.” Tears shone in her eyes and within seconds her face crumpled as she started to cry.
Making him feel like the biggest asshole in the world. All those tears, her shoulders shaking, her chest heaving, all because of him. And how he toyed with her, led her to believe he wanted more from her than he was willing to give.
How he wished he could give it all to her. Everything she could ever want. She was young and vulnerable and a believer in fairytales and he absolutely was not.
At this very moment, he wished he were a believer. So he could give this beautiful, sweet woman everything she ever dreamed of.
“Come here,” he said gruffly, reaching for her so he could pull her into his arms. She sobbed against his chest, her tears dampening his shirt, and he let her cry. Running his hand over her silky-soft hair, breathing in her intoxicating scent, he remained silent, offering her comfort, wishing again he could give her more.
“You drive me crazy,” she mumbled against his chest. “I should hate you.”
“You should,” he agreed.
“I shouldn’t go with you.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong,
bella
.” He slipped his finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up, staring into her beautiful, shining with tears eyes. “You absolutely should go with me.”
“Why?” she breathed, closing her eyes, as if she couldn’t look at him any longer.
“Open your eyes,” he commanded. She did so quickly, pleasing him at how easily she obeyed. “Because I want you, Paige. I want you there, at my side, with my son, with my family. Please.”
His chest ached. He shouldn’t have said that. His words would give her a false hope he had no business offering her. But it was all true. Having her with him in Italy, in the country of his birth, at his childhood home, perhaps something could happen. Perhaps he could relax and let her in.
Completely.
Chapter Seven
Exhaustion weighed heavily on Paige as she studied her closed suitcase. From where it sat on the stand at the foot of the bed, it mocked her. Taunted her to unpack her belongings and settle in, but she was too tired to worry about it.
Unpacking could wait for later.
The flight to Italy had been long and especially hard on Matty. He hadn’t slept well the night before—quite frankly, neither had she—and she’d grown irritated with him more than once. It didn’t help, how quiet Matteo had been the entire trip. He’d hardly said a word, offering only the occasional stern reprimand to his son, which sent little Matty into a tizzy.
Only offering a few terse words to her, Matteo would return his attention to his laptop, scanning over documents, financial reports, whatever it was that he needed to analyze while in Italy. Leaving her to wallow in her own worry.
She needed his words of reassurance, of kindness—of anything, really—to keep her happy. He had no idea just how much she needed him, and how that need grew every single day. Becoming dependent on Matteo Renaldi was the last thing she should do.
Too late.
A shower and a few hours’ sleep would do her some good and leave her refreshed. Matty was snuggled in his bed, fast asleep. He’d nearly collapsed upon their arrival at the Renaldi compound in Amalfi, already out when Paige put him to bed.
She went to the cracked open door and stepped out onto the tiny balcony with the wrought-iron railing. Her breath lodged in her throat at the view. There was so much natural beauty spread out before her. The water was a deep, sparkling blue, the endless white buildings that dotted the surrounding hills seemed to brim with history. A variety of boats dotted the water, swaying gently with the waves, and a sudden breeze blew over her, bringing with it the salty tang of the sea. Amalfi was simply breathtaking.
Despite the worry and turmoil over her feelings for Matteo and the fact that she desperately needed another job, she was glad she came to Amalfi with him. The opportunity to see such beauty would’ve never happened otherwise.
But knowing this was her last week with Matteo pressed heavy on her already cracking heart.
A soft knock sounded on the door and she turned, watched as it cracked open to reveal Claudia peeking her head around it. “Do you like your room?” she asked.
“Oh, Claudia.” Paige’s shoulders sagged with relief. “It’s amazing. Beautiful. Thank you for having me as your guest.”
“You are never a guest. You’ve become one of the family.” Matteo’s mother entered the room and came toward her, drawing her into a comforting hug. “What’s wrong, Paige?”
She stiffened within the woman’s kind embrace. “What do you mean?”
“You look so tired, so…defeated. Is Matty being hard on you?”
Paige shook her head, unable to find her voice. If she did, she might say too much. And this was Matteo’s
mother
.
“Ah. Then it’s Matteo.”
Matteo’s all-knowing mother, more like. How could Paige deny what she said? Claudia had always been too perceptive.
“Are you in love with my son,
cara
?” Claudia asked softly.
Paige withdrew from the older woman’s embrace, shaking her head. Was she? She didn’t know. But even if she was, she could never admit it. Not to Claudia, not to herself and certainly not to him. “I—care for him.”
“I see.”
“But I’m leaving.” She went to the bed and sat down heavily on the edge, surprised when Claudia joined her and slung her arm around Paige’s shoulders. It was nice, the comfort she offered. Paige had missed her. From the moment Claudia had offered her the job when she was still living with Matteo in New York, Paige had felt a special bond with her. Those few weeks they’d been together, taking care of Matty while Matteo worked so hard, they’d grown especially close. Claudia was like her second mother. “I just don’t think we can work together anymore.”
“I see the way he looks at you,” Claudia offered. “There’s much more than a business relationship between you.”
“Which is why I need to leave.”
“Or stay.”
Paige’s forehead furrowed in confusion. Last time she heeded Claudia’s advice, she’d ended naked in her boss’s tub, and then climaxing like crazy from his fingers. She didn’t really know if she should listen to her now. But here she was, all ears. “What do you mean?” she asked.
Claudia laughed at her obviously curious tone. “I noticed he’s driving you crazy. Though know you probably drive him crazy too.”
“I guess I do.” She glanced down at her lap, watching as she twisted her hands together nervously. “He says he doesn’t want me.”
“And you think he does.” Claudia stated it as fact.
“I thought he did, but I don’t know anymore. The way he behaves, how he treats me. It’s so frustrating. I don’t know what he wants from me anymore.” Paige took a heaving breath, the relief at admitting that freeing.
“Perhaps he doesn’t know what he wants either. Men are confusing creatures. They are also
confused
creatures. I’m sure part of his problem is that he struggles with the power position he holds over you.”
Paige nodded. There was no need for an answer. This was most likely the biggest struggle Matteo faced when it came to the two of them being together.
“He’s much older than you, you know. I believe that holds him up as well,” Claudia continued.
“Eleven years, that’s it. Big deal,” Paige retorted, clamping her lips shut. She sounded like a snotty brat.
“Ah, but those eleven years can feel like a lifetime to some. You’re only twenty-three, fresh faced and ready to conquer the world. Your entire life is spread out before you and you have so many choices. So much freedom.” Claudia smiled. “Whereas Matteo is older. Established within his career, a widower and a father to a young child. Saddled with much and weary with it too, though he’d never admit it. He probably believes none of that appeals to you.”
“All of it does,” Paige said, frustration making her voice louder. “Everything that makes up Matteo appeals to me. I love how successful he is in his career, how much he works and cares about the family business. I love that he’s a father and is so good and tender with his son. He adores Matty. His eyes light up every time he sees him and that touches my heart so deep, I feel like it’s about to burst.”
Paige paused, noticing how Claudia remained quiet, that knowing little smile still curling her lips. “I love how he treats me like an equal and asks my opinion on so many things. And how welcome he makes me feel in his home, as if I rightfully belong there. He doesn’t treat me like an employee, he treats me like a person.”
“Of course, he does. Matteo is, above all else, always fair. It comes from being the eldest,” Claudia said, her voice full of authority. “He broke up many a battle between his brothers when they were young. He was the one who they all went to for advice.”
She could imagine him, young and handsome, irritated with his brothers yet still patient enough to help them. Supporting everyone in the family with that certain easy way he had. He’d probably indulged Stasia too. She’d admitted that more than once. He was a good man.
So why would he think she didn’t want him? That he didn’t deserve her? It made no sense.
“He—he sometimes acts like he wants me, then pulls away. No, more like he pushes me away.” Paige buried her face in her hands, mortified that she would say such a thing. “You’re his mother. I’m sure you don’t want to hear this.”
“But do you have anyone else to talk about your feelings for Matteo with?” When Paige shook her head, Claudia gave her shoulders a little squeeze. “Then let it all out, darling. Just don’t go into too many details.”
Paige dropped her hands away from her cheeks, laughing softly. “There’s not much to tell. Really. I just…I don’t understand why he denies what he feels for me. Because I know he feels something. He struggles with it daily. I see it in his eyes, written all over his face. You know, I tried to leave and take another job just before this trip. But he wouldn’t let me. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t been his employee, he might have given me—us—a chance…”
Claudia remained quiet for so long, Paige grew nervous. “What are you thinking?” she asked the older woman.
“I’m thinking maybe you need to be a little pushier when it comes to Matteo and how you feel about him.”
Paige pulled away from her and stood, pacing back and forth. “I have been. Believe me, I’ve been so forthcoming with what I want from him and how I feel, I may as well hang a sign from my neck. Doesn’t do me any good, though, since he rejects me anyway.”
“Then maybe you should approach him in a different manner.” The smile on Claudia’s face was nothing short of victorious. “And I think I have the perfect idea.”
Paige stopped in her pacing, worry creeping down her spine. “What’s your idea?”
“Let me do a little investigating first. Then I’ll tell you everything.”
“I appreciate your efforts, really I do, but maybe I shouldn’t risk it. What if something happens and we don’t work out as a couple?” Paige pressed her lips together to keep from saying anything else. She didn’t want to reveal all of her fears.