Ten Thousand Lies (24 page)

“It’s nothing to worry about,” I said quietly, attempting to stuff my neediness for her away somewhere I wouldn’t think about it.

“Ronen asked me to go to lunch with him tomorrow,” she said. “I think he’s freaking out because you guys do this sort of shit together.”

A strange fury sparked in my chest. “The fuck he did,” I growled.

“The fuck he did what?”

“Ask you on a date.”

Jaime laughed. “It’s not a
date
. I was available. Deo and Xanthe are spending his last day here together, and then she’s taking him to the airport. Rex is working the day shift at Wurther’s. Are you jealous?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “I want to take you to lunch.”

Holding my breath, I scrunched up my eyes in self-loathing.
Am I doing this right?
I hated that I didn’t know.

“So, take me out to lunch,” she said.

My laugh was mirthless. “You make it sound so easy.”

“Well, it kind of is, Ricki. It’s not rocket science. Just ask me out.”

“Will you go out with me?” I asked.

“I’d love to. How does tomorrow sound? I’ll be ready whenever you are.”

My mind went blank. Staring at the far wall in my room, I said nothing. Fucking
nothing
. I was fucking daft, still trying to process that Jaime wanted to go out on a date with me.

“Ricki?”

“Yeah?” I stated. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

Her laughter filled me with a warm glow.

“Well, that’s settled,” she said.

“Jaime, I’ve never really dated anyone,” I blurted.

“Really? I find that hard to believe—well, no, maybe not.”

She laughed again, and I couldn’t help the grin that stretched across my face.

“It’s that obvious, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes, and no. It’s like you’re too cool and gorgeous
not
to date, but then you act like—”

“A complete fucking knob,” I said darkly. Then, what she’d just said registered. “You think I’m gorgeous?”

“Um…well, yeah.”

I could hardly hear over the blood rush in my ears. “I think you’re gorgeous, too. You have this one look when you get all quiet and thoughtful; your face goes completely smooth, and you look like a doll with the most perfect China blue eyes…”

Jaime exploded with laughter, and my face infused with bloody mortification.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “That was, uh…”

“That was really wonderful,” she told me, fighting more laughter. “For the most part, dolls creep me the fuck out. Do they creep you out? Because, if they do, then I know how you really feel.”

“You’re not creepy.”

“You kind of are.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I never thought about it until you came along, but I’ve come to realize that maybe I am.”

“But sweet. And thoughtful. And cute.”

Shit, my ego was going to bust out of my body; it was getting that big.

“So, is what you’re doing tomorrow…bad?” she asked in a hushed tone.

“No. I’m just tattooing.”

“Oh.”

Silence yawned between us for a few seconds. I didn’t know what to say, and I knew she knew she shouldn’t be asking me these sorts of things—at least, not over the phone. However, a part of me wanted to open up to her, answer any and all questions she had for me. I didn’t want to hide or keep secrets or lie to her.

“Do you know what sort of piece you’re doing?” she asked.

“No. I’ll find out when I get there.”

“My tattoo has healed really well. I love it.”

A light warmth elevated something inside me, like a hot air balloon. “I’m glad.”

We spent the next hour talking about everything and anything. Nothing too in-depth, just lighthearted conversation that kept us laughing. Jaime was the only woman I’d ever had this with. On the one hand, I hated that I’d been deprived of something so simple as flirtatious conversation my whole adult life, but then…I was thrilled that Jaime was the only one.

“So”—she yawned—“I’m gonna try to get some sleep. You should, too.”

“Will you do me a favor, Jaime?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“Will you text me throughout the day tomorrow? I promise to respond when I can.”

“No problem. But only if you promise to text me when you walk out of there to tell me to get ready for our date.”

“So, we’ve got a date, and you and Ronen don’t?”

“Yep.”

My face hurt with the large amount of smiling I had done all night. “I’ll be sure to.”

“Night, Ricki.”

“Night, Jaime.”

Jaime

Ronen nervously picked at his turkey on focaccia sandwich while staring at his phone. Sadly, this wasn’t the worst lunch outing I’d had with a guy, so I wasn’t complaining. He was nervous for Ricki, wasn’t used to having to break up the dream-team thing they had going on. It was really quite adorable. I had a strong sense that if Ricki weren’t in the picture, Ronen would lose all momentum and simply drop the cause. They needed one another.

“He’s okay,” I told Ronen for the umpteenth time. “He texted me an hour ago.”

“I know.”

“Then, quit acting like a chick who’s scared her man is cheating on her, and eat lunch with me.”

“You like him, right?”

Ronen’s dark eyes glanced into mine, and I nodded.

“I do. A lot. Why?”

“Because he likes you. A lot.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“Are you aware of just what it means though?”

“Probably not.”

“Ricki doesn’t date.”

“Again. Aware.”

“Ever. In all the years I’ve known him, he’s never once gone on a date. He’s never picked up a chick at a bar for a one-nighter, that I know of. At least not when he’s out with Rex and me. For him to be even remotely interested in you is fucking mind-blowing.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Ronen fixed me with a hard look. “Don’t fucking break his heart, Jaime. Xanthe told me you’re not the kind of person who gets involved in relationships. If Ricki fucking likes you, then I gotta know if this is you just getting some fucking kicks. He won’t admit it, not even to himself right now, but he’s in fucking deep with you. If this isn’t gonna be anything, you need to fucking put a stop to it.”

It was hard to swallow around the lump in my throat. Somehow, I managed. “I like him, Ronen. If he were any other guy, I’d have fucked and left him by now.”

That seemed to satisfy the man for the moment. “I think he’s taking his time. He doesn’t talk about it so much. I think he’s trying to figure shit out for himself.”

“Well, that’s something we’ll both have to find out, right?” I asked.

“What if it fucking blows up? What are we all gonna do if it’s fucking weird between you two again—and, like,
bad
weird, not just
weird
, weird?”

Ronen had a point.

“We won’t let it get to that,” I said.

“You don’t know that.”

“Then, I’ll fucking make myself scarce!” I snapped. “Now, quit fucking pissing me off before I punch you in the fucking throat.”

“All right. Damn. I’m just keeping the greater good in mind here.”

“Fuck your greater good,” I grumbled.

Now, with my appetite ruined, I sipped on my water and watched people walk by as Ronen attempted to eat his sandwich.

“Your hair looks awesome, by the way,” he said casually, his eyes wary.

It so did. Deo had created this thick, chunky layered fringe, starting the dreads in the center of my head. I hadn’t known he was so versatile, thinking he was simply a barber.

“Thanks,” I replied. “My scalp is sore as fuck.”

“I think he’s going to clean up Ricki for your date tonight.”

“Oh, yeah?” I didn’t want to discuss Ricki with Ronen anymore.

“You guys doing anything fancy?”

“Are you going to piss all over our plans if we don’t?”

He had the decency to look ashamed of himself. “No. Just curious.”

“Do
you
date at all?”

Ronen shook his head. “No.”

“How come?”

“It’s not easy with our…job…to find someone to commit to. Can you fucking imagine? You meet someone you fall head over heels for, and you can’t tell them what you
really
do. It’d be fucking exhausting.”

“Ellen says you and Ricki are the best,” I quietly told him.

Ronen smiled. “It’s hard being the best if you’re constantly dating. If I need sex, I got connections. That way, all parties get what they need and nothing we don’t. I don’t know if
I
could handle being with someone like that.”

“Do you want to date?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really think about it. It makes it easier, I guess.”

“Makes what easier?”

He glanced back up into my eyes. “Being lonely.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, and no. I have Ricki and Rex and Xanthe. Deo, too. He’s always good to talk to.”

“You think maybe Deo and Xanthe can’t let go completely because of the job?”

“I think that’s a strong possibility. Do you know exactly what Ricki, Rex, and I do, Jaime?”

I nodded and dropped my eyes to my half-eaten basket of fries. “I’ve known almost from the beginning.”

“So, you know, and you don’t care?”

“I care but not for the reasons you’re thinking.”

“And what do you think those are?”

“That because of what you do, I wouldn’t be able to see him as Ricki. I would see him as what he does, what he’s done. It’s not like that. I think what you do is needed; otherwise, these people won’t ever stop. In prison, they’d still be polluting the world with their filth.”

He sat back in his chair and stared at me. “You know it weighs on all of us.”

“I would find it terrifying if it didn’t.”

“Ricki has nightmares—not all the time, but especially right after a job. What we see and what we do—it fucks with our heads even though we love it.”

“
Love
it?”

“Fuck yes. Have you ever wanted to do that to a person? Even just hypothetically. You’ve imagined doing that to a person, right?”

“Yes. I think everyone has at one point.”

“That rage, when it’s unleashed…we’re not the men you know and love in those moments. Ricki once told me that we were the nightmares of nightmares. Do you get that? That means, the things people are terrified of”—he pitched his voice low and leaned in, making sure no one sitting around us could hear—“the kidnappers, rapists, and murderers,
we
are their nightmares.”

Pitching my voice low, too, I said, “It sounds like you’re threatening me, Ronen.”

Surprised, he sat back, his eyes wide. “Oh. No, no. Damn. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah, I guess Ricki isn’t the only socially awkward one among you.” I smirked.

Ronen’s shoulders slumped. “Fuck it. None of us are normal.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

Throughout the day with Ronen, I snuck in messaging Ricki, telling him what we were up to, and he’d reply when he could. He said he was doing a huge chest piece, but it was just the outline today. Apparently, the guy really liked the design and was impressed with his portfolio. Ricki also told me he couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there and see me.

After walking around with Ronen all day, doing some shopping for the Inkwell—just crap to make the place look nice—we headed to the shop to hang the vintage pictures and place the random shit around when Ricki called me.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dollface,” he said, making me smile like a moron.

“Hey,” I replied, slipping into the piercing room. “Are you finished?”

“Yeah. I’m meeting up with Deo at my place. Are you still with Ronen?”

“Yep.”

“Have him walk you home before he heads home himself. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

“Okay,” I replied.

“Hey, Jaime?”

“Yeah?”

“I thought about you all day.”

Oh my God, I’m going to explode with all these mushy feelings!

“I thought about you all day, too,” I confessed.

Shit, who is this guy turning me into?
This wasn’t who I was, who I used to be. I’d never told a guy I was thinking about him or wanted to hear he’d been thinking of me. This was some strange and wonderful new territory for me.

“See you then,” he said warmly before hanging up.

Ronen walked me home in a rare haze of silence. I got the feeling he’d wanted to bolt to his and Ricki’s place the second I told him Ricki had made it out alive.