“Hatred for the South drove me out.”
“You and I know that was just their excuse. You were already a target because of me.”
“One man, Penny, one man caused that. Emotions were high because of the war and he was able to sway them. That won’t happen again.”
“It wasn’t one man in Los Angeles. A mob drove you out there, too.”
He lifted his hands, frustrated. “It was the war, Penny, the war.”
“And an injury,” she said. “Then you were a prisoner and afterwards, I left Los Angeles. Something always keeps us apart, Alex. Always.”
He frowned. “What are you saying? That God doesn’t want us together?”
“God has nothing to do with it.” Her tone was flat, dead.
Alex’s features set into a hard look. Slowly, he rose to his feet and faced her with the bed between them. “You’re overwrought.”
She didn’t know if her defiance of him or her reference to God had made him angry, but his voice was as hard as his features.
“This has been a shock for both of us. Maybe I’d better leave for now. Tomorrow, after you’re rested, after you’ve had time to think, we’ll talk more.”
“We’ll talk, but I won’t change my mind. I won’t sell and run. We can’t hide from who I am and what I’ve done. I won’t even try.”
Alex’s eyebrows rose and he was quiet for a long while. “What have you done, Penny?” His voice was just above a whisper.
She knew he was asking if there had been other men. There hadn’t been. But that didn’t matter to the rest of the world. They treated her as if there was. Alex needed to realize that.
“I did what I needed to do to keep my daughter safe and alive.”
His lips parted in surprise.
She could see the seeds of doubt take root as a dozen emotions washed over his features. Good. He had to see things as they really were, not how he wanted them to be.
He took a slow, measured breath. “Get some sleep. I’ll be back in the morning.”
Penny didn’t move.
Alex walked to the door then paused. His hand lifted in a fruitless gesture. “I love you, Penny.”
“I love you, too,” she murmured.
It wasn’t until the door had closed behind him that she said, “But that won’t fix everything.”
****
Alex rose early the next morning after a sleepless night. In all of his wildest imaginings, he never anticipated he’d spend his first night reunited with his wife in his own empty bed.
He’d handled things poorly. He’d said things he never should have, but he’d been just as shocked and surprised by the circumstances as Penny. Even now, as he thought of her as he’d last seen her, standing straight and so determined, her eyes glassy and her lips puffy from crying, she looked magnificent. All he wanted was to pull her back into his arms and kiss her until the confusion and misunderstandings were forgotten.
If they could be forgotten. There were too many unanswered questions. Their past rose up to haunt them. It had made Penny fearful for their future. And exactly what had she done that made her seem so ashamed?
After all their time apart, had she succumbed to the comfort of another’s man’s arms? Had she sold herself to survive? Or worse, had she been forced or brutalized?
Unbidden, the image of the dark-haired woman by Penny’s bedside flashed in his mind. She’d been frightened and trembling, afraid he would hurt Penny.
His fists clenched. If someone had hurt Penny…
Lord, help me!
He prayed and prayed, but for the first time since that fateful day beneath a hot desert sun, no answering peace came to him.
He and his small troop of men had fallen behind the main column when they heard gunshots from the direction of a small ranch where they’d resupplied on the march north. Now that the Federal troops were engaged in battles with their own kind, Apaches had begun raiding again.
The rancher had a wife and two small daughters.
Even though the Union troops were just behind him, Alex and his men couldn’t abandon the small family.
They road into the clearing and drove the band of Apaches away…just as Union soldiers rode over the hill.
Alex took a bullet in his arm.
The Union soldiers left him for dead. If not for the rancher, Caleb Stanger, and his wife, Mary, he would be dead. They took him in, meticulously picked the shattered bone from his arm and side, and watched over him. They shared their roof, medical supplies and food. And their faith.
Alex had always been an indifferent believer. Separated from his wife and in mortal pain, he was belligerent, angry with God.
But every day, Caleb and Mary prayed for him, over him, and with him. As he grew delirious, he talked of Penny and the baby. Caleb and Mary added them to their prayers.
When Alex was at his lowest, Caleb said, “You will not die, Alex Marsden. God has a plan for you. You will return to your wife and baby.”
Many months later, he left the ranch armed with new hope and a Bible. But before he could reach the California border, Union troops picked him up.
The commanding officer didn’t know what to do with a disabled Confederate soldier so he sent a cable back east. When word finally arrived, Alex was to be shipped back east to the nearest prisoner of war camp, far away from California.
Consumed with anger, he began to doubt his newfound faith and made plans to escape.
Then, word reached them that Lee had surrendered.
Because he had earned the commander’s respect, Alex was released without question, given his horse, and sent on his way. Alex’s faith in God’s plan for him was renewed.
In Los Angeles, Alex questioned the landlady where he and Penny had lived. He inquired of the stage drivers, everyone who would listen, but found no sign of Penny and his baby.
Desperate, he traveled to the stage stops around Los Angeles and scoured those towns. Finally, out of money, he was ready to give up.
Royce Darnell caught up to him. He’d followed Alex over half of Southern California to offer him the job he now had. Travel the boomtowns, build the Darnell lumber business, and search for Penny.
Three times Alex had almost given up, and three times the Lord provided a way for Alex to keep going. The Lord hadn’t given up on him, and he couldn’t give up on the Lord, especially now that he’d found Penny.
Faith. He had to have faith. But his gut clenched as image after image popped into his mind.
He lunged out of bed and strode to the washstand. The water in the pitcher was near frozen. He splashed it into the basin and washed his face. As he prepared to shave, the questions returned.
Why were all the women in Penny’s establishment so mistrustful? And most of all, how had their attitudes impacted his daughter?
Alexa Marie. Lexie.
Alex smiled just thinking of her. No matter what issues he and Penny had, he was going to meet his daughter today. Nothing would stop him.
Anxious to get going, he dressed. When he’d finished, he cleaned out the pockets of his clothes. In the jacket pocket he found Penny’s tortoise shell hair pins. He didn’t even remember putting them there. He fingered them and remembered how her hair had cascaded down around her. How soft it was and how it glistened like copper in the lamp. In his other pocket he found her black, lacy garters.
Thinking of another man—maybe men—touching her nearly tore him in two. He cinched his thin tie too tight and had to start again.
For a short time, he’d considered cancelling the meetings he had this morning and re-scheduling for later in the week. But he wanted to keep things as normal as possible, and that meant staying on track with his project. He hurried down to the breakfast room of the hotel.
In spite of his concerns, he found he had an appetite, and ordered biscuits, bacon, and eggs. He’d just finished when his first appointment arrived.
Like Alex, Robert Jackson Preston had fought for the South. Afterwards, he’d come west to leave the war behind. He had a good reputation, as did the other man Andy Ardmore had recommended.
So Alex was surprised at the low bid Preston had offered to build the Darnell Lumber warehouse. He thanked Robert and met the next man, Hubert Wolcott. Once again his bid was extraordinarily low.
Alex asked a few questions and told both men they’d have his decision by the end of the week.
He examined the bid details after they’d both gone. Of course, their largest expense was the lumber. Bodie was in short supply of that commodity. Constantly expanding mines needed wood supports. The mines, combined with the growing town’s need for building material, made Bodie the ideal location for a new lumber warehouse. Darnell Lumber would do well here.
So why, with all the building going on, did these two reputable businessmen seem so anxious to earn his contract? It was a question he would trust only one person to answer.
The banker was glad to see him. The early morning sun fell through a window and made Andrew Ardmore’s curly hair appear blond—a contrast to his very neat, very dark suit.
“How were your meetings?” Andy rose to his feet to shake Alex’s hand.
“Excellent.”
“But I can see you have questions.” Andy waved Alex into a seat across from him.
“Just one. With so much building going on in this town, why are these men so anxious to get the job?”
Andy frowned. “You’re very perceptive.” He walked around his desk and closed the office door before he slid into the chair next to Alex. “You met one of the reasons last night. Daniel Holloway.”
Surprised, Alex studied his friend. “You said his business was in saloons.”
“It used to be,” Andy said with a nod of his head. “But now I think Holloway’s got his fingers in almost every business in town. He’s half-owner of the only sawmill and I’m certain he sets the prices. The mill can’t keep up with the demand, so they can charge outrageous fees…for all except Holloway’s cronies and friends. As if that’s not enough to tip business in their favor, somehow, those same friends end up with the best contracts. It’s made it tough for the other builders.”
“Like Preston and Wolcott.”
“Exactly,” Andy said. “They’re fine craftsmen. But they need work if they’re going to stay in business and keep Bodie’s financial future out of the hands of one man.”
Alex smiled. “I’m beginning to see why you’ve been so willing to help me.”
“New money and investments are a welcome change in Bodie,” Andy replied.
“Sounds like you might be able to use a new lumber mill as well.”
“I wouldn’t presume…” Andy paused.
“I would,” Alex said. “In fact, I’m going to give it some serious consideration. But right now I have a more pressing matter to attend to.” He stood and held out his hand. “Thanks for your honesty.”
Andy hesitated. “You’re welcome. But I have a question of my own.” He released Alex’s hand. “That pressing matter wouldn’t have something to do with a lovely red-headed widow by the name of Marsden would it?”
“I see you put two and two together.”
“I don’t mean to pry, Alex, but after you left so quickly last night, I made the connection. There is a connection, right?”
Alex took a slow breath and nodded. He trusted Andy and knew he could count on him to keep his information confidential.
“She’s my wife.”
“Your wife! But she’s always claimed to be a widow.”
“She believed I was dead.” Alex chose his words carefully. “I was a prisoner of war with no way to contact her. We have no family so she was forced to leave home to support our daughter. I didn’t know where she had gone. I’ve been searching for her ever since the war ended.”
Andy let out a slow whistle. “Well, what are you doing here? Sounds to me like you have a lot of catching up to do.”
Alex shook his head. “I think so too, but it’s not going to be easy. A lot’s happened. I didn’t expect to find her as the owner of a saloon.”
“Yes, I’m sure it’s a surprise.”
“I’d appreciate it if you would keep this in your confidence, Andy. We’re trying to take it slow. This has been quite a shock for both of us. We don’t want to overwhelm our daughter the same way.”
“Of course, of course. For what it’s worth, Alex, she has a good reputation. Everyone in town knows she only serves liquor in her establishment.”
Alex studied Andy across the desk. “I never doubted it,” he said, knowing it wasn’t quite true. He had doubted…still did. He couldn’t forget the fear he had seen in the household. Did it come from danger or shame?
Andy slid his hands into his trouser pockets. “Well, there are others who might try to make you think different.”
Alex didn’t like Andy unwittingly confirming what Penny had said last night. “Exactly what do you mean?”
His friend shook his head. “Things have changed too fast in Bodie. Some men, like Holloway, have made it big and now use their newfound wealth to exploit others. They’re brash, bold and undisciplined. A line’s been drawn between the newly rich and the rest of the population. Not many people are strong enough to cross it.” He shook his head again. “If I were you, I’d be very careful how you handle this. It could make or break your stay here.”
4
Penny drew a line under her addition sum. Her hand trembled and the line wavered.
It was late morning. She’d expected Alex much earlier. Apparently, meeting his daughter wasn’t as important as he’d said. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
She wasn’t going to do this, wasn’t going to let him completely disrupt her world. She’d worked too hard for balance, for peace. She wouldn’t let him sweep in and destroy all she’d accomplished.
Penny added the column again. Last night’s totals were low. Today’s previously ordered liquor shipment would deplete her operating funds. It had been trucked over Bodie’s treacherous roads and the cancellation fees would be almost as much as the cost. Maybe she could cut back on her next order. Make this one last and get Max to pour a little less.
If Max even returned. After closing last night, her bartender and Jewel had words. Jewel didn’t trust the man.
Penny didn’t either, but she hadn’t been able to find anyone to replace him. It puzzled her. With so many men in Bodie looking for work, she didn’t understand why no one had accepted her offer. It was a bit of a mystery she needed to solve.