I’m going to be managing the bar while Faith
takes over the kitchen. Both jobs are in our wheelhouses—my family
is famous for their bars back home, and Faith is world-renowned for
her cooking. The bar is already open, but we’re planning to elevate
it to the next level. Not just as a cover for our mission, but
because it’s for Aiden’s mom. Once she got over her animosity
towards me for hurting her “baby,” we had a great talk about the
bar, and Aiden. We both love him, and would do anything for
him.
My biggest
problem…worry…fear…is what will happen when we see each other. I
want to just melt into his arms, but that’s going to be a problem.
Both because of what he thinks I feel towards him, and also because
that would require me to be touched. I haven’t let anyone other
than my doctors touch me since everything went down. I didn’t want
them touching me, but I couldn’t get out of it. I
do
want Aiden to hold me,
and touch me, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle
it.
I’ve already changed the
way I dress and act. I know…I
know
…that what I wear has no
distinction about how I’m looked at or talked about. I was in jeans
and a fitted t-shirt when I was captured. But despite what my brain
tells me, I can’t bring myself to walk around in corsets or short
skirts anymore. And I can’t be flirty and sassy. I just
can’t.
I’ve moved on to cool retro
dresses that make me look like I stepped off the sets of
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
or
Mad Men
.
It’s what I had planned to wear when I wanted to make Aiden look at
me differently, but now it’s for everyone. I want to show that I’m
not a victim, but I don’t want to look like the old “Ellie.” I
can’t convince myself that what I had to do in order to survive was
okay, and no one but my shrink and Nate even know exactly what that
was, but I also know I can’t hide forever. I just need to be a
different, more respectable looking version of “me” when everyone
finds out. It’s wrong, and against things I thought I believed, but
when it’s happening to you, what you look like and portray to the
world becomes different.
I’m
different, and not in a good way.
“You ready for this, El?” Faith asks as our
car whisks us off to the Society townhouses here in town, where
we’ll be staying next door to each other.
“No. I want to see him, but I’m not sure how
to act.”
“Just be yourself.”
“I don’t know who that is anymore,” I say
before I can stop myself.
“A strong, smart, beautiful, courageous, and
compassionate woman. That’s who you are. I don’t know all that
happened to you, but I know that it doesn’t define you. To me, or
anyone else.”
“Thank you,” I tell her, meaning it. I
needed to hear it. I’ve heard it from the doctor, but to hear it
from one of the strongest women I know means more. I have the urge
to tell her something, so I do. “I-I wasn’t raped. That’s not what
happened to me.”
She reaches over and places her hand over
mine. “You don’t need to tell me anything. Just know that if you
ever want to, I’m here.”
“Saying ‘thank you’ again doesn’t seem like
nearly enough. To all of you.”
“We don’t need your thanks. We just want you
to be as okay as you can be.”
“I’m working on it.”
“Aiden will help.”
“Are you telling me I need a guy to help
me?” I ask her with a smirk, lightening the mood.
“Yes. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean you
shouldn’t rely on anyone. It means letting your friends help you
when they can, and it also means letting a good man stand next to
you, holding you up when you can’t do it yourself.”
“Aiden’s good.”
“Yes, he is.”
We finish the rest of the
drive in silence. My townhouse is gorgeous, equipped with every
state of the art piece of technology I could need. As well as every
type of weapon I could possibly want. I have a feeling that I’ll be
using more than one on this mission. I’ll do anything to save Aiden
from this bastard who’s targeting him—and made me collateral damage
is his campaign of hate.
Anything.
* * *
Aiden
I thought I was mentally prepared to see
Ellie, but as I walk into Ford’s I realize just how wrong I am.
She’s in some red and white patterned dress that ties at the neck
and covers her all the way to her knees. It’s not the way I’m used
to seeing her, but she still takes my breath away.
“There he is, The Monk,” says Tieny. She’s a
feisty cocktail waitress who doesn’t take shit from anyone. She’s
been giving me crap about turning down everyone, including the
other waitresses. She’s the only one who hasn’t blatantly hit on
me, and for that, I’m grateful. She just messes with me, which I
can easily deal with. “It’s a good thing he can throw those liquor
bottles like he does, or we’d be losing business with all of the
rejections he throws around.”
“He better throw the bottles well. After
all, I taught him everything he knows,” Ellie says with a smile.
Her eyes had widened slightly when she saw me, but she’s too much
of a professional to let her surprise show.
“I taught you a few things too, if I
remember correctly.”
Her eyes darken for just a second before her
mask falls into place again. It’s enough, though. I know she
remembers our private bar sessions in her apartment. The ones where
she taught me how to throw and pour like a professional bartender,
and I taught her new ways to lick and suck alcohol off a body.
Things I thought up on the fly, inspired by my very sexy muse.
I need to stop thinking about her that way
for the moment, though. She doesn’t need a sex-crazed maniac, she
needs a caring boyfriend. I don’t have that title yet, and maybe I
never will, but I need to show her that I care.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” she tells
me.
“My mom owns this place. I figured I was
adequate enough to help her out. I manage the other bartenders and
even work my own shifts behind the bar.”
She smiles—her “I’m glad you’re being honest
with me” smile—and nods. I knew I couldn’t keep my parents a secret
once my dad asked for help. After trusting one too many people in
power, the Society is incredibly thorough in their background
checks. Ainsley, Isa, and Tegan can find anything on anyone, even
the Vice President of the United States.
“It’s good to see you.”
“You too, El. You look beautiful.”
“Well, this is different,” Tieny says, and
I’m reminded that we’re not alone. I’d almost forgotten that Tieny,
my friend Theo who’s heading up security for the club, and the
other waitresses are all here. The prep cooks are in meeting the
new chef, but I’ll take Ellie back there in a few minutes. I want
to make sure she’s comfortable with everyone out here.
“You’ve met everyone?” I ask, once again
ignoring everyone but her.
“Yeah. Well, except for the kitchen
staff.”
“Let’s go meet them, then. There’s a new
chef starting today, too. Should be fun for us all.”
“Oh, it will be.”
I give her a quizzical look, but she isn’t
giving anything away to me. I shouldn’t expect her to—she’s still
Ellie, no matter what happened to her. I need to remember that. She
may need to be handled gently in some ways, but no one can steal
her strength. If she thinks they did, I’ll just have to show her
otherwise.
I place my hand on her lower back without
even thinking about it, until she stiffens. Shit. I need to take my
hand off of her, but the waitresses are eyeing us, and I’m honestly
over their not so subtle advances. I pull back a little so my
fingers are barely grazing her, but I don’t break contact
completely. I hate that I’m making her uncomfortable, but I’m
hoping she’ll understand.
She doesn’t relax until we’re out of sight
down the hall, and I remove my hand. “I know you needed a cover,
but please don’t touch me again without permission, Aiden.”
Her words—while expected—are still like
knives to my heart. “I’m sorry, El. I didn’t even think when I put
my hand there, and then…yeah…I wanted to throw the girls off.”
“Why don’t you just sleep with them?”
“You know why I won’t sleep with them. Or at
least you should.”
“Because of me?” she asks, a hopeful note in
her voice.
“Always because of you. You’re the only one
I want. I’m so sorry I let you down. If I could go back…”
She places a hand over my mouth before I can
say anything else. “It wasn’t all your fault, and we can’t go back.
I-I only want you, too, but I can’t…I mean, I can…but sleeping with
you…”
This time, I stop
her
. “I’ll wait. Forever.
If that’s what it takes. My hand and I have a nice relationship
going on.”
“I could maybe, um, help you out with
that.”
I reach out and hover my hands just shy of
her face, curling them like I would if I could cup her cheeks.
“That is an amazing offer, and one I would normally never turn
down, but not yet. I want you to be comfortable with me again
first. Once you’re able to finally forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Aid. You
would’ve been there if you could. I know that.”
“I don’t. I was drunk, El. Crazy drunk
because of something else that was going on in my life. You deserve
to be first. Always. I have to take care of some stuff before I can
be that guy for you. The one you need.”
“I could help you with whatever it is.”
“Just being here to look out for my mom is
help enough. I mean, that is what you’re doing here, right?”
“Yes. But if there’s something else…”
“No. This is something I need to deal with
myself. I don’t want to add to any of your worries.”
I mean it. Whoever is
trying to frame me for the murders of my “victims,” and the people
I was protecting from them, is my problem to deal with. I won’t
involve Ellie, or anyone else. Matt and Nate would be here in a
heartbeat if they knew what was going on, but I can’t risk them
getting into any trouble for me. I don’t even know who’s doing
this, or why, and that’s another reason I won’t bring anyone else
in on this. I
will
find the person and make them pay—both for distracting me from
Ellie, and for the murders they’ve committed.
“Aid? Are you ready to go into the
kitchen?”
“Huh? Oh yeah. Let’s meet this wonder-chef
my mom’s been raving about.”
I push open the door, and a knife goes
sailing past my head, grazing me on the ear. What the fucking hell?
I instinctively step in front of Ellie and reach for my gun,
forgetting that I only have one strapped to my ankle right now. But
when I look to the culprit, I can’t help but smile.
“Trying to kill me, Faith?”
“No. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead. My
hand just slipped.”
“Seriously, Faith?” Ellie asks her, moving
in front of me. “It just happened to ‘slip’ when Aiden walked
through the door?”
“Yep.”
“You promised not to hurt him.”
“I only nicked him. I could’ve aimed
lower.”
“Thanks for that,” I tell her, and then look
around. “Where’s everyone else?”
“I sent them outside on a break since I knew
you’d be coming to meet me soon.”
“I appreciate you being here for my mom.
Both of you.”
“Well, when the Vice President of the United
States asks for help, we tend to listen. Nice job hiding your
family, by the way.”
I look at Ellie, and see that’s she’s
looking at the floor. I hurt her by keeping my parents from her. I
know it, and I also know I was wrong to do it. I’ve spent so long
protecting myself from the fame and the hangers-on, but that’s not
her. She’s always wanted me for me. “I should’ve told you, El.”
She shrugs. “You have a right to your
secrets.”
“You wouldn’t have cared.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “I love
you for you. Your parents don’t matter to me. I wish you could’ve
trusted me with that, but that’s your choice.”
I want to pull her to me, but I can’t. I use
my words instead to try and convey how much she means to me. “You
are my everything, Ellie. Every fucking thing. It’s not about
trust. I just…I want to be me. Not the son of the VP or the gay VP
or one of the richest men in the world. Just Aiden. I needed to be
just a guy with you.”
“But you’re not ‘just a guy.’ You’re my
everything, too. Not because of who you’re related to, but because
of you. I want to move forward—slowly—with you. We need to let go
of the past. Can we do that?”
I nod, because the lump in my throat is too
big for me to speak around. I love this woman so much, and even
after I let her down, she’s willing to give me another chance. I’m
going to do everything I can to make sure she doesn’t regret it,
even if I can’t let her all the way in yet. I’ll give her
everything I can, and hope that it’s enough. That the part of me
that’s not already destroyed will satisfy her for now.
“Okay, enough of the warm feely stuff. My
crew will be back any minute now, and we need to go over some
logistics,” Faith interrupts “Oh, and if Ellie can forgive you, the
rest of us will, too. Just don’t fuck things up with her again, or
I won’t miss the next time I throw.”
“Got it.”
And I really do. I know I’m lucky that every
single one of the Society women isn’t here right now, taking a shot
at me. It’s a testament to their loyalty and respect for one
another that they’ll forgive me if Ellie does. Or at least they
won’t kill me. Forgiveness may be pushing it a little.
Ellie
Everything went pretty well at the bar
tonight. Faith’s food was a hit, and Theo and his team kept
everything under control. There were a few drunk guys who tried to
make a grab for my ass, but I dodged them, and thankfully, they got
the hint. I really didn’t want to deal with anyone touching me,
especially after my mini freak-out with Aiden earlier. It’s because
of that interaction that I’m making this late night call. It’s not
so late in Vegas, but it’s still outside of normal office hours for
most doctors. Luckily, my shrink is employed by the Society and her
hours are flexible.