Tessa’s Dilemma (7 page)

Lying exhausted next to Him, she hadn’t the strength to open her eyes; she was deep in reverie: deep in the safety and bliss of subspace. Unthinking, she could not form any words: did not know what to say to Him even if she could. But now she was becoming curious to know whether she had pleased Him, had fulfilled His desires; it was times like these when her only thoughts were of Him. Her only reason for living. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw straight away how proud He was of her. He was smiling broadly, looking so serene, the characteristic sparkling of His sultry brown eyes making her heart falter as He appeared to stare straight into her soul. To lay there and gaze at Him forever would have been a life worth living for her. He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly on her forehead, stroking her cheek, rubbing her arms gently. She couldn’t quite make out what He was murmuring, but she thought she caught the words “good girl,” and “so proud,” and that was enough for Tessa to be happy and accept Masters’ attentions.

Eventually she felt her consciousness return to reality, the birdsong in the park, and distant laughter starting to register more plainly on her hearing. As if He could tell that she was almost recovered, He sprung to His feet and reached down to help her up. Picking up His jacket, He brushed it down with His right hand, shaking the loose grass from it, and then slung it nonchalantly over His left shoulder, placing Tessa’s right hand in the crook of His arm. “Well my girl, it appears it’s time to get you to your train; it’s been an eventful day for you but not to worry; we can take the long way round.” He winked at her playfully, His expression displayed all the youth and vigor of a teenager who had just had his first kiss. She still felt like she was floating as she walked by His side. He was talking about something work based again, but she simply couldn’t concentrate after what had happened just a few minutes earlier. No matter how she considered it, she had experienced the impossible. She shook her head; it... wasn’t... possible. Thinking wasn’t going to be a worthwhile pastime at the present anyway; despite having had an incredible “mythical” climax, she was now distractedly turned on. The wetness between her thighs only served to arouse her further, and her engorged sex craved His hardness: to feel His solidness within her, to feel the contrast of His strong body against her soft and pliant flesh. She loved Him so much that she would have stripped naked in broad daylight had He commanded it; she would have done anything that He desired without reserve.

Refocusing on His baritone voice, she nodded to feign the impression that she had been listening to His conversation, but in all honesty He could have been reciting the Oxford English Dictionary and she would have been happy to hear His voice and walk by His side. They passed down into a dark underpass beneath one of the main roads and rounded a corner when she heard Him utter, “Cold tiled wall Tessa; you should feel at home here,” He slammed her hard against the wall. The force with which He pinned her with His body squeezed the air from her lungs, and she gasped desperately to counter the sudden dizziness that engulfed her. She managed to take a breath, only to exhale with a sigh as His hot breath teased her neck; His hands urgently pulled her skirt up to her waist, exploring her swollen lips and inner thighs, tugging, pinching, sending her deliriously close towards climax. Dragging her left leg around His waist, He quickly unzipped Himself and roughly entered her so hard that she squealed with surprise, the hollow echo of her moans bouncing around the underpass, belying just how alone they were beneath the busy city streets. Fixing her with a fierce stare, it felt like He was pinning her to the wall with His mind as well as His body. Quivering with sheer sensory overload, she whimpered as He placed His palm over her mouth and ploughed her with a series of strong thrusts, erupting within a matter of minutes. As she felt Him pulse deep inside her, emptying His seed: claiming her, marking her. He held her firmly trapped, and in a low voice that made her tremble even more than before, He spoke words that had her shuddering to another orgasm before He had even finished the sentence.

“You are my vessel to take any time I want, wherever I want, and you will carry me deep within you because it pleases me for you to do so – that is your sole reason for existing.”

Tessa yanked her skirt down, glancing around nervously as He stepped away from her. She was suddenly starkly aware that what they had just done had been in complete broad daylight, however thankfully well hidden. Funny how such things seem to be forgotten in the heat of the moment, but she suspected that He had already scouted this particular underpass and was relatively sure of its deserted nature. Her attention was drawn back to Him as she heard the strike of His lighter. He was holding the flame to a cigarette that He was carefully shielding between His cupped hands as he had before. Wrinkling His forehead He looked over the top of His glasses at her and winked with a smile, crouching to retrieve His jacket from the heap it lay in on the ground. “Well I had hoped I’d managed to throw it on a dry patch,” He commented as He checked it over. “It’ll dry clean though; I just didn’t fancy having to take it to the dry cleaners and explain why it was drenched in urine.” He seemed satisfied that all was well as He slipped His arms into the garment and linked arms with her, guiding her away from the place of their passionate tryst.

Tessa leaned in and gave Him a peck on His right cheek. “Sorry if that’s a bit presumptuous Master, but it was necessary. I can honestly say that every time we meet, you blow my mind and then some. I still can’t get my head around what just happened. I came... just by focusing on your command, and having my body do your bidding. I just can’t understand how that happened.” As they climbed the steps to the city street once more, she watched as a silver gray wisp of smoke curled lazily from the corner of His mouth. Tilting His head slightly, He blew the remaining smoke away from her and smiled sideways at her.

“My girl, know that it did happen. And as it happened, you now know that it is possible. Sometimes understanding isn’t so easy, granted, but it really is quite simple. You have been trained. I might ask you to do certain things for me that you don’t understand, and you might wonder why you’re doing ‘A,’ ‘B’ or ‘C,’ but,” He took another long drag of His cigarette, pinching it tightly between His thumb and forefinger while He collected His thoughts a little further, “there is always a purpose to my requests. Always. I don’t simply command you because it titillates me; your tasks are a means to an end. And yes, I know you enjoy the ends as demonstrated today. Consider it a test; I would have known today if you had not been practicing and following orders as I had set for you. I would probably have known in previous encounters, but today was the true mark of how diligently you had completed what I told you to do. I wouldn‘t have chosen you if I thought for one minute you would let me down girl.”

She watched dumbstruck as the smoke escaping from the corners of His mouth enhanced each word formed on His beautiful lips. It almost seemed to frame His speech, making each statement a work of art, to be etched into her memory forever. Tessa found everything about Him and His mannerisms simply fascinating, and watching Him smoke and speak at this moment served to chalk up yet another fetish for her list. She chuckled as she thought she could happily watch Him silently smoke for hours. Gesturing at nothing in particular with His smoldering cigarette, He continued His train of thought.

“I am proud of you today Tess, truly proud of you; you have justified my faith in you, and I look forward to continuing your training. Trust me, there will be much, much more I can show you than you have experienced. Now that you know it’s possible, it’s a case of training your mind a little further. The squeezing was just something to focus you, encourage your body to attain what your mind already wanted to do. You know that I want you always ready, always at the edge of climax; you are so delicious when your arousal is obvious, and I enjoy how others view my property when you are in that state. Sometimes supply and demand works in other walks of life too. Others wanting you serves to make you much more valuable to me, and you know I only enjoy things which have value.” He looked distant as He drew in another breath of smoke, breaking off half way through the drag to continue speaking. “I will train you to climax with one command. One word from me, however I desire: ‘Come for me Tessa’ will be all it takes for your knees to weaken and your body to give me what I desire with only a millisecond delay. You will learn to be perfect for me. I will settle for nothing less than perfection.”

Tessa exhaled carefully; she hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath, entranced by His words and actions, and she had to admit what He described sounded like perfection to her too. She desperately wanted to be perfect for Him, please Him, show Him how much she loved Him. So now she knew He was training her to be perfect for Him, never again would she question or query why she had to do something; she would just do. No hesitation. As they walked, she could feel the remnants of their lovemaking dripping down her thighs, soaking into the tops of her stockings. She thought for a moment that it should feel shameful to be walking around in the middle of a warm spring afternoon with no panties and sexual fluids running down her legs. But in reality, she felt proud and happy, to the point that she did not care one jot what anyone could see or know what they had been up to.

Strange thoughts for a girl who had until recently been so unconfident in her own sexuality, unsure of what she wanted, strangled by her own fear of “what if.” Now she felt liberated and free. Felt a purpose: a renewed vigor for life and love. She was being trained for His use only; to please Him, and it was what she had hoped when she had given Him her safe word – trusting her safety and her life to Him. She lived purely for His pleasure and for His desire, and now, it wasn’t something that was restricted to closed doors. He could use her for His pleasure in public too, and she had no choice in the matter. She had never felt so truly alive.

Tessa was in love. Was it because she could never have Him? Or was it simply because He was the most amazing man she had ever met – not only intelligent and witty, but He made her feel things so unbelievable that she thought people had only dreamed them for spicy fiction stories. Not for one minute did she consider that some of these fantastical ideas were actually attainable. Sadly the other side of the phenomenal emotional high she experienced was the crushing low. Feelings of such intense sadness, loneliness and despair consumed her for days when she parted from Him, and this last time, after the “thought-gasm,” as she had named it, the turmoil she felt deep inside was so painful she physically hurt. It didn’t matter how much she tried to reason with herself that she was lucky to have found someone so wonderful to take her places she had only ever dreamed of, or it won’t be long until she experienced those delights once again, it did no good. Tears welled at the mere thought of Him; the ghostly fist strangling her heart simply tightened its grip to punch home the message of unrequited love with a more vigor. She wasn’t abandoned by Him however. He remained in constant contact, stroking her the best He could – she knew that. She knew He was taking more care of her, like He always did after their parting. It didn’t help that she imagined He was only doing it out of some twisted sense of duty, because if He didn’t, He certainly wouldn’t be able to take His pleasure from her when she hit rock bottom. It was unfair to think like that, and she knew it, but the nagging terror of “what if” still clung to her like greasy choking smog in some Dickensian tale.

Standing outside the hotel they had met at two weeks previously, she squinted up at the intimidating building. Hotels always seemed so anonymous and cold and curiously unwelcoming considering their actual purpose. Sighing heavily, Tessa felt strange. Really strange. She hadn’t been able to pull herself from the painful emotions she had felt since their last meeting and confusion filled her as she entered the hotel and recited the room number that He had told her to wait outside of. Usually at this point she would be quaking with a heady mix of trepidation and anticipation, but she was still low, almost as if by having this encounter, it meant that their time would come to an end even sooner. She craved their time together; she lay awake at night just thinking of His smile, so why was she feeling like this? But she knew deep down why. Experiencing amazing things with an amazing man she could never have, and although He treated her with respect, and perhaps even with a form of love, He did not love her. Not the way she loved Him. She was putting herself into these situations to feed her addiction, knowing full well that she would always be the one left lonely at the end. He would never be single; He would never be hers. The hedonistic addiction was strong however, and Tessa walked with purpose to the allotted room. She might be feeling pain so acute that she had lost her appetite for food almost completely, but she would not let Him down. She would fulfill every whim and desire, because she had made a decision to give herself to Him. And that would never change.

Standing outside the room, she knocked quietly, checking over her shoulder that the corridor was empty, noting with satisfaction how deserted the hotel was. Turning back, she started uneasily as the door swung open. She hadn’t heard the handle click, but it was flung wide nevertheless. Padding carefully into the room, she stopped abruptly when she realized there was no one in the bathroom or the main body of the room.

“Don’t turn around girl. Stay right where you are,” He whispered into her left ear. He was behind her, and immediately she started shaking uncontrollably. Such an instinctive response, her depressed mood evaporated immediately as His sheer physical presence enveloped her. He snaked His hands around her waist, pulling her close to His firm chest, stroking her, caressing her lovingly, nibbling her neck, playing with her hair, exploring her through her clothes in such a random manner that she never knew where He would touch her next. Whispering in a husky voice laden with desire, He painfully pulled her head to one side and once more pressed His lips to her ear.

“Now this little experiment of mine is called ‘It’s a wrap,’ and you’ll see shortly what that is going to mean to you my girl. All I can say, however...” He dropped the timbre of His voice lower and quieter than she thought possible, and uttered, “Don’t forget to breathe...”

During His warning, He had reached around to the front of her light white cotton blouse, and had been gradually tightening His grip on the top button. As He spoke the word “breathe,” He tugged hard at the straining button and it popped free from her blouse. Tessa gasped in shock as she saw her ruined blouse, the buttonhole ripped from the pressure of His hands, and much to her dismay, He had moved down to the next button. She could do nothing but stand still, wrapped in His arms, and allow Him to disrobe her. Slowly, deliberately, each button jumped free, revealing more and more of her heaving chest. When it came to the last two buttons, He ripped the blouse in one strong yank of His hands. Feeling His muscles contracting with the effort of tearing her clothes, she was left whimpering uncontrollably. This animalistic act had an unbelievable effect on her; she felt more and more degraded, powerless, aroused, and she could not fathom how she was going to leave the hotel with a torn and bedraggled blouse. Slipping the tattered material from her arms, He unzipped and dropped her skirt from her hips so she was left standing in her thigh high stockings, panties and bra. Holding her close once more, He ground Himself against her and she was left with no doubt that He was enjoying His actions as much as she was.

Removing her undergarments, but leaving her sheer black nylon thigh highs, He placed His hands on either side of her hips and guided her to the foot of the bed. Tessa was quite unnerved by this, as she still hadn’t seen His face, and she truly longed to see His expressions. She had missed Him so much; it was agony not to be able to make that intimate connection with Him. He arranged her standing with her legs together, and then stretched her arms together above her head. Not a painful position, but mildly uncomfortable all the same. When He seemed satisfied that she was as He desired, He pushed her panties into her mouth and walked away. She no longer felt low and depressed as she had this morning; now she felt excitement, deep arousal and gnawing fear as to what would happen next. He had been mentioning “wrap” and “breathe” considerably during their texts and conversations the previous week. It had unnerved her, but she hadn’t given it much thought considering the tumultuous emotional rollercoaster she had been experiencing. Now however, her attention was fully on what was happening to her, and to say that fear wasn’t creeping through her, wondering what He had in mind, would have been a lie.