Tested (26 page)

Tyler was set on going out into the countryside to get her sister, and she knew from the look of resolve on his face that afternoon that there would be no changing his mind. How could she just sit back and let him get himself into more trouble? This fighting ring wasn’t just for amusement, it was serious. Deadly serious. The kind of thing that she definitely didn’t want Tyler to be a part of.

She didn’t want Phoenix and Trent in there either. Oh God, things were as bad as they could be, she thought. If Tyler didn’t go then how would they get her sister and Trent? But if he did go…well, if he did go he’d be in danger again. Neither scenario sat well with her, hence the constant pacing she’d kept up for the past hour.

The sky outside was slowly lightening to dawn already and she’d yet to sleep a wink. How was she supposed to rest when everything in her life was in disarray again? Was there ever going to be a moment of peace?

The past weeks had been torture for her. Even though she had tried hard to avoid him since they’d been back, Tyler was never far from her every thought. Her dreams were even worse than her daytime fantasies. It was as though she was being tortured by her own mind.

It only made her feel worse when Tyler seemed to do his best to remain scarce around the house. She’d only see him in the mornings, and then he’d be gone again all day. Sometimes he wouldn’t come back until well after dark. The only reason she knew he’d returned was that she listened at the door for his footsteps every night. It was starting to get pathetic.

As much as she craved Tyler with every fibre of her being, every time she actually thought about being with him, she’d panic. As the days wore on, her need for him only seemed to increase. Tyler, however, seemed completely indifferent to her now. Maybe he’d never really had much of a true attraction to her outside of their situation.

It hurt. It hurt more than she could say.
You’re the one that has pushed him away,
she reminded herself. What a mess she’d made, she thought, growling out loud. Even if she’d wanted to fix things, it was too late now. Tyler was getting ready to leave within the next couple of days, and then who knew when she’d see him again? Or
if
she’d see him again. No, the thought was too upsetting to seriously consider.

Her pacing halted as she watched three figures walk up to the house outside, their faces shadowed. It didn’t matter. She could tell exactly who was who, even from the second floor. Garrett, Seamus, and the most familiar to her, Tyler, made their way to the front door. She hadn’t been able to sleep as it was, but she wasn’t dishonest enough to deny that part of the reason was because they hadn’t returned by supper. Hours had gone by after, as she’d waited in the kitchen, hiding out while she listened for the front door.

By the time she’d gone to bed they still hadn’t returned. Seeing them now made her breathe slightly easier. Where had they been so late? A bark of laughter drifted up through her open window, reaching her ears. Seamus was going on about something that had Garrett in stitches. Had they been out drinking?

Her stomach dropped. Did they go to one of those bars where the women hardly wore anything, and sat on any available male lap there? Tyler
was
available. She had no claim on him, and he was a young, healthy man. Maybe the three of them had gone out for a bit of fun.

Oh God, she gripped her stomach, she was going to be sick. The thought of another woman putting her hands on Tyler made her want to scream. Missy resumed her pacing again. Everything around her was just falling apart. She’d been locked in a room, caught in a bombing, run through a burning building, fallen in love, attacked by a group of soldiers again….Wait.

She sucked in a breath. What had she just thought? Fallen in love? Surely not, she thought, shaking her head. The idea was preposterous. She was too damaged to fall in love with someone. Look at how she’d reacted to the first bad thing that had happened to her. Tyler probably wanted nothing to do with her. Who would? She was a head case. It was no wonder Tyler had gone out with his mates to look for fun. Fun with women who didn’t have a whole list of issues to deal with the way she did.

Footsteps climbed the stairs and progressed down the hall outside. Missy didn’t stop her pacing as she listened to the three men head to bed. They passed by her room – all except for one. Missy stopped, her heart hammering in her chest as she sensed him pause just on the other side of her door. There was a tense moment before she heard a soft tap.

Taking a deep breath, she walked over, opening the door just a crack. Tyler stood there, his eyes piercing through her even in the dim lighting. This was the first time they’d been this close, and just the two of them, since they’d been back. He smelled fresh and male, just like he always did. There was no way to describe his scent other than it was just “his”.

“Hello,” she whispered, gripping the wood.

“You’re going to wear a hole right through the floor, lass, if you don’t stop that pacing of yours,” he said, his brogue heavier when he spoke softly. Her cheeks warmed at the realization that he knew how she spent much of her evenings. “Why are you still awake?”

Missy looked down, away from his knowing gaze. “Just couldn’t sleep,” she replied. Shrugging, she added, “nothing big.”

He grunted, unconvinced. “You need your rest.”

She nodded.

He sighed. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Missy nodded again. “Tyler,” she called out, as he turned to leave. He looked back over his shoulder. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

He didn’t ask what for. They both knew what she meant as they stared into each other’s eyes. They’d found something special between them and she was ruining it. What else could she do but apologize?

“There’s no need for that,” he replied. “I’m not.”

Missy swallowed awkwardly. “I just…” How could she explain this properly? How could she tell him she just needed time when she wasn’t even sure if time would help?
It had helped the first time,
she thought. She’d found a way to get over her fears before with him. Perhaps she could do so again. But what if she couldn’t? She shook her head in frustration. “I can’t ask you to wait around for me,” she blurted out.

Tyler turned so he faced her better. His hand reached out, cupping her chin gently and lifting her face so she was looking at him.

“Och, lovely, I’d wait forever for you. Don’t you know that?” He smiled sadly before dropping his hand and turning to walk down the hall to his room. She didn’t call out to him again.

I’d wait forever for you.
Those words kept her up the rest of the night. Her mind had gone back and forth on what to do about Tyler. So much of her felt unprepared to give her trust and heart to a man, but there was just something about Tyler that made her think he would be the only person who could handle it as delicately as it needed to be. Did her mind and body not already belong to him in some way? Yes, they did, she’d thought as the early morning hours had crept up. Maybe there was no question. Maybe it was just a matter of letting go and letting herself fall for a man who was more than willing to catch her.

By the time Missy had actually fallen asleep there had already been people moving around downstairs in the kitchen. She’d snuggled down deeper under her covers, deciding they could make their own breakfast for once. She ended up getting only four hours of sleep before she’d finally pulled herself out of bed.

Every muscle in her back ached, her limbs feeling heavy and sore. Deciding a bath was in order, Missy grabbed a change of clothes and a towel, and headed to the bathroom down the hall. The water filled the tub loudly, blocking out all other sounds so it felt as though she was in her own world. It was a much needed reprieve.

Her eyes stared blankly as the water rose, steam slowly filling the space around her. She added some bath bubbles to the water, something she rarely did since it was nearly impossible to find such commodities anymore. Thank God, she thought, that Ludwig Tennebris had been humane enough to keep the water lines to the ghettos active. Missy shuddered to think what it would be like not to have running water. With the tub filled just below the rim, she reached over and twisted the squeaky knobs.

The robe she’d wrapped around her had just dropped to the floor when the door behind her opened. Missy let out a surprised squeal as she covered her private areas, keeping her back to the person now standing in the open doorway. She glanced over her shoulder to see Tyler there, his eyes dropping down the back of her slowly, heating in a way that had her heart beating loudly in her chest.

The arm covering her chest loosened slightly, her lips parting as her breath increased when his eyes moved upward again to meet hers. They stared at one another, neither making a move nor uttering a word. Tyler opened and shut his mouth a few times, nothing coming out, until he finally managed to clear his throat.

“You should make sure the door is always locked, lass,” he said hoarsely.

Missy felt her cheeks heat as she nodded. “Sorry,” she said softly.

His eyes dropped again, tracing the smooth line of her spine, resting on the bare globes of her bottom. She watched his throat as he swallowed thickly. Without another word, he turned and left, shutting the door behind him. Missy stood there for a moment, catching her breath, before she slowly lowered herself into the hot water.

Letting her head drop back, she stared up at the ceiling, wondering how on earth she’d managed to screw everything up in her life. Why couldn’t she just get past her fears and tell Tyler that she wanted to be with him? How difficult was that? Clearly he didn’t think she was a waste of time, if his admission from last night said anything.
I’d wait forever…
Surely that meant he had feelings for her, no?

She sighed loudly. If only Phoenix were around. Her sister was always better at making sense of things than Missy was. And Phoenix certainly had more experience with men than she did. There was no one she could really talk to here. Sure, the other girls were all good friends of hers, but it just wasn’t the same. Missy had never really opened up to any of them, even before her attack. It would be weird to do so now.

The door to the washroom banged open again, causing her to cry out in surprise. Thankfully the bubbles hid her from the green eyes that burned in her direction.

“I thought I told you to lock the door,” he said, almost angrily. Missy started to reply, but any words were soon forgotten with the breath that whooshed out of her as she watched Tyler turn and shut the door, locking it – with him inside. He turned back around and began to undress in front of her, not saying a word.

Missy didn’t mind, her eyes glued to his every move. She never thought watching a man remove his clothing could be so sexy, but with Tyler it certainly was. She had a sneaking suspicion that she would find anything Tyler did arousing.

When he was completely naked, he stepped to the bath. Missy didn’t speak either as she moved forward, making room for him behind her in some unspoken understanding. Tyler’s thick body joined her, raising the water, his legs sliding on either side of hers. He was everywhere, the smell and feel of him completely encompassing.

She slowly leaned back, resting against his chest as his arms wrapped around her. One hand splayed across her belly beneath the water, the other rested on the rim of the tub. Missy let her head fall back, simply allowing herself to enjoy being near him. This was the first time since her most recent attack that she didn’t feel panicked by the physical contact. That spoke volumes in her mind.

Tyler shifted slightly behind her. She could feel the hard length of him against her, clear evidence that he was not unaffected by their contact either. Missy closed her eyes, allowing her body to relax further just as his head dropped forward.

CHAPTER THIRTY

This was not a good idea. Tyler had promised himself that he’d stay away from Missy until she made the first move. After everything that had happened to her recently, and in the past, he knew that she was going to have to get over her anxieties before there could be any chance for them.

He hadn’t been lying when he’d said he’d wait forever. After having a taste of Missy, knowing what things could be like between them, there could be no one else for him. He’d never felt such passion, such longing or electricity between himself and a woman, the way things sparked between him and Missy. She was like a jolt to his system. Missy made him feel more alive, gave him more of purpose. He actually found himself caring about another person more than he had in his entire life.

She gave him hope. Hope that there was more to this new world than just fighting all the time. Hope that there could actually be a future after all. So he’d done his best to keep his distance. It killed him to do so, but he’d managed so far. That is, until he’d walked in on her.

All that smooth skin, a slight sheen from the moisture in the air making it beg for his attention. He’d instantly wanted to drop to his knees behind her, and draw his tongue along the dip at the bottom of her spine. It had taken every ounce of self-control to turn and walk back out. It hadn’t lasted long though.

Pacing in his room until the uncomfortable bulge in his pants went down, he’d left his room with every intention of joining the others downstairs. Except, instead of turning left down the hall, his feet had started right again toward the bathroom. It was as though they had a mind of their own. Walking in again to her slippery and wet, a slight blush to her cheeks from the heat of the water, he’d known right then there was no way he was leaving the room again unless she demanded it.

But she hadn’t. No, she’d watched him strip with just as much desire in those beautiful blue eyes as he had raging through his entire body. She’d even moved forward, making room for him. Having her between his legs, the hair that was wrapped in a messy bun on the top of her head tickling his skin as she laid her head against him, it was like pure heaven. He could have sat that way forever, except her skin enticed him to taste it.