Texas Heroes: Volume 1 (78 page)

“Anything we can do to help?”

“Nope. I’m not sure there’s anything to be done.”

“The way you look at her reminds me of something I used to see in the mirror.”

Dev shot him a glance. “What’s that?”

“A guy who’s trying to convince himself he hasn’t fallen like a ton of bricks for a woman he shouldn’t want.” Boone’s blue eyes were full of humor and pity when he slapped Dev on the back. “I think I may enjoy watching this.”

“Thanks a lot. After what you went through when you thought Maddie and I were having an affair, I guess you think it’s funny.”

“I should, but I don’t. I remember only too well how it felt. You want to talk, I’ll listen.” He nodded toward the kitchen cabinets. “Let’s get finished and rescue Lacey before Maddie completely bowls her over.”

“I’m not sure I’m going to stay. This should be private.”

Boone arched one eyebrow. “Never took you for a coward, Marlowe. Mitch and Perrie and Davey won’t be here for another couple of hours. I’ll have my hands full with Maddie and the tears she’s gonna weep all over me. Lacey’s yours to handle.”

“Lacey’s not mine.” No matter how he wished she were.

“So you say,” Boone said easily. “Buck up, dude. A few tears won’t kill you.”

Even one more tear from Lacey would undo him, but Dev didn’t say that. He opened the cabinet and handed Boone two glasses.

Hours later, they stood at the doorway saying goodbye to the whole clan. Boone had practically had to pry Maddie out bodily to get her to leave. They’d driven off, needing to get back to the ranch, but only after Lacey had promised to visit very soon. If Maddie could have figured out a way to do it, Dev had a feeling she would have packed Lacey up and taken her with them.

Lacey hugged Davey one more time. Tall, dark Mitch, ever the stoic, stood at the door. He spoke quietly, his dark eyes holding her. “I’d like it if you’d come to the wedding. I’ve been without family for a long time.”

Tiny blonde Perrie chimed in, leaning into Mitch’s side. “I don’t have any family at all besides Davey and the Gallaghers, and I’ve decided Maddie’s not the only one who wants a sister. It would mean a lot to all of us if you’d come, Lacey.” She leaned around Mitch and Lacey. “You’ll bring her, Dev, won’t you?”

He and Lacey had a lot of ground to cover before then. Right now, she looked so exhausted she was almost translucent. “I’ll be there,” he agreed. Whether Lacey would come was something he wouldn’t predict. “You all drive safely.”

“’Bye, Dev. ’Bye, Aunt Lacey,” Davey called out.

Mitch nodded at Dev, brushed his hand gently over Lacey’s hair, then herded his new family outside.

When Lacey closed the door and turned around, her eyes were awash with tears.

Dev’s heart seized. “Come on,” he said, taking her arm. “You’re worn out. I’ll clean up while you get ready for bed.”

Lacey looked up at him. “I am exhausted, but, oh Dev, you were so right. They’re wonderful. I couldn’t have created a more beautiful family if I’d dreamed them up myself.” She hugged her arms to her sides. “I can’t sleep yet. I’m too wound up.”

“Then at least come over here and sit down on the sofa.”

She followed him without complaint, settling back into the cushions.

Between them, a strained silence fell.

Dev was as tired as he’d ever been. He’d had very little sleep since before the night of their date, which seemed a thousand years ago now.

Had they really experienced that night of bliss? His body told him yes. He’d wanted her then; he wanted her still. But that night lived across a huge chasm of painful emotion and distrust. Building a bridge would take effort, and Lacey’s resources were stretched thin.

There was so much he wanted to know, so much he wanted to discuss—but he wasn’t sure he wanted the answers he might hear. Instead he busied himself picking up glasses and plates.

“Dev…” Lacey’s voice sounded odd.

He glanced up to see her studying him solemnly, her eyes huge and haunted.

“Want me to leave?” he asked.

Confusion filled her gaze. Then she shook her head and looked away from him.

After a moment, she drew in a deep breath and turned back, pulled her arms into herself as if for protection. “Tell me, Dev. Tell me what he did.”

He knew she meant her father. “Not now. When you’re better, but not now.”

“I have to understand. I have to know why. I have to figure out who I am, where I belong. I need to know who this man who calls himself my father really is. Please. If you care at all about me, tell me.”

Oh, I care, all right. Too damn much
.

“I don’t think you’re up to it right now.”

For a second, her eyes sparked. “You have no right to decide for me anymore. No one does. I’ve learned that one thing from all of you making decisions about my life. I guess I should thank you—you’ve freed me not to care what you think I’m ready to handle.”

Touché
. Dev nodded. “All right.” He set down the dishes, shoved his hands in his pockets and began to pace, trying to think how best to say it.

Lacey tensed, but she had to hear this, no matter what it was. They couldn’t go forward without her understanding the missing pieces of the puzzle.

“He framed my father.”

Lacey couldn’t stifle her gasp.

Dev glanced at her, then went on. “My father was a good man. An honest man. We never—” He glanced away. “We could never understand, never believe that it was true what they said about him.”

His eyes locked on hers again. “He made some mistakes. My mother liked pretty things. Liked going places. She was a beautiful woman, and you knew, just watching them, that he would give her the world if she asked.”

“That sounds very romantic.” Not at all like her mother’s—like Margaret’s stiff propriety. She could never even imagine her parents kissing. She’d never seen it, not once.

“He worked for your father, did you know that?”

Shocked, she shook her head. Then she felt subtly ashamed. She’d never thought about where Dev had come from before he’d appeared in her life. Those magical weeks when they’d been so young, she hadn’t cared. She only knew that he was exciting, that he made the world sparkle, made her blood run hot. Made her feel so very alive. “What did he do?”

“He was a junior partner on the rise. Then the economy fell apart in Houston and accountants were being laid off right and left.” His thumb rubbed absently over his jaw. “I didn’t know a lot of this until after the night—” He shot her a glance. “—the night you and I…”

He looked away, seemed to gather himself. “One day our lives were fine. Camps and toys and the new car he’d promised me when I could drive. Then everything changed.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen.”

So young. She ached for that boy.

“Things hadn’t been all good. Dad worked long hours and was tired all the time. I could tell he was under pressure, but all I really worried about was how soon I’d get to drive—” His voice went tight. “I should have seen. Should have known something was wrong.”

“No one pays much attention to anything but themselves at that age.”

But Dev wasn’t buying. “I was the oldest. He always told me he knew he could count on me if anything ever happened.”

Something had. She didn’t know what, but she could see the strain of it on his face.

“One day he came home early. Too early. I heard my mother crying. Saw him sit outside in the dark for hours.” Dev looked up at her then, and his eyes were dark holes of anguish. “I didn’t go outside. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I’d never seen him look defeated like that.”

“You were only a boy, Dev.”

He faced the window, jamming his hands in his pockets and looking outside, his face all stark angles and lonely shadows. “Sometime in the night, he died.” She saw a muscle flex in his jaw. A shudder ran through his frame. “I never knew he had a history of heart problems.”

“You couldn’t have done anything.”

When he turned to face her, his eyes were hot and angry. “It was the disgrace that killed him. He’d been indicted for fraud.” His nostrils flared. “Everything he did, he did because Charles DeMille forced him to do it. It was the price of keeping his job. Your father promised that no one would ever find out, but when the heat came down, my father was the sacrificial lamb.”

“I’m so sorry, Dev. I don’t—no wonder you hate him.”

“That’s not all he did, Lacey. Maybe you don’t want to hear.”

She didn’t. But she would. “Tell me.”

“I tried to be the man of the house, to take care of all of them as my dad had asked. But he’d cancelled all but one tiny insurance policy, and their lifestyle—our lifestyle—had drained any savings. Overnight, everything changed. We had to move into this dinky little nothing house, and the newspapers had been full of the scandal. Our name was ruined. There was nowhere to go that people didn’t whisper. Our so-called friends vanished. And my mother started drinking. She couldn’t handle it—or the kids.”

“Oh, Dev…” Lacey grieved for the boy who’d tried to take all of that on his shoulders. “You were so young.”

He whirled on her, agitation filling his frame. “I tried to handle it—I
was
handling it. Maybe not like we were used to, but I was doing the best I could. Then your father comes sweeping in and makes my mother think he’s some kind of savior. He brushed me aside like I was nothing. That’s what he told me I was: nothing. Just a kid. He would make it all better.”

The bitterness still lingered in his voice. She could feel a proud teenager’s impotent fury. She had no idea what to say, so she remained quiet, wishing she could think more clearly, wishing she knew what to do.

Then Dev laughed. It hurt her ears to hear it.

“He had a hell of a lot of nerve, I’ll hand him that. Tear our lives apart with one hand, dispense charity with the other. He must have had a real laugh.” His jaw worked as he ground out the words. “I got into a brawl one night, and got arrested. My mother called him to help and he came and bailed me out. I didn’t want his money. I forced him to let me work it off.” His eyes turned haunted, brilliant green dulled. “And that’s how I met you.”

The air in the room charged with memory.

“Worse luck for you,” he murmured. His gaze went fierce. “It’s like I told you—it
was
about revenge then. I wanted to hurt him, and I didn’t care how it happened. You were a means to an end.”

His voice went hoarse, dropped almost to a whisper. “You deserve to hate me. It doesn’t matter that I fell in love with you, that I never meant to hurt you. I did hurt you, and you’re still suffering for my actions.”

Dev turned away, moved to the door, agitation in every line of his frame. “There is no reason for you to forgive me—for then or for now. I made the wrong choices, and you paid the price.” His voice lowered. “Tell me who you want to come stay with you, and I’ll call them. I think I should leave.”

He waited for what seemed forever, his hand gripping the door handle. Finally, he heard a soft sob. He squeezed his eyes shut. Then he heard her.

“No.” Softly. Barely a whisper.

Dev turned. Haunted gray eyes lifted to his. Lacey shook her head, her voice full of tears when she answered. “There’s no one else I want.”

She studied him sadly. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you back then. I’m sorry I didn’t stand up to him when you asked me to go with you. If it’s any consolation, I never got over you.”

Afraid to hope, still he took a step toward her.

Lacey held up her hand to stop him. “I’m not much of a bargain, Dev. There’s a lot I don’t know.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t know how to feel about what my parents—what Charles and Margaret did. I don’t think I can live the way I have anymore or accept what I thought was mine, but I don’t know how to support myself or what I’m any good at doing.”

He saw resolve forming on her face. “But I have figured out that no one can decide any of that but me.” She reached toward him, then pulled her hand back. “One thing I already know is that you’ve paid as dearly as I have—probably more. I lived my life in the lap of luxury. I might not have felt that I fit, but I never once went hungry or had to think about taking care of anyone but myself.”

He closed the distance between them. “You were young and sheltered. I understand.”

She held herself away. “Do you? You shouldn’t. After what they did to you…”

“It’s over. What’s done is done. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that the past can choke you.” He caressed her jaw with fingers that weren’t quite steady. “I never meant to hurt you when I came back.” His voice tightened. “I am so damn sorry—I swear to you it wasn’t about revenge, not this time. I just didn’t know how to tell you the right way that you’re adopted. I knew it was going to tear your world apart, so I didn’t trust anyone else to do it—but then I put it off, telling myself that if I spent some time with you, I’d figure out the magic words.”

Her eyes studied him so solemnly. He didn’t know if he could ever make her understand.

“I tried to tell myself it was just a job, that it wasn’t personal.” He snorted softly at himself. “That delusion lasted about two seconds after I saw you again.”