Authors: Barb Han
He might have maturity on his side, but that still didn't explain why he couldn't accurately read her intentions even after all these years. And it wasn't as if that had ever been a problem for him with other women. His relationship was Lisa was the definition of complicated.
Right now there were more pressing questions that needed answers. And he had a feeling he was about to make her uncomfortable.
Right after he fed her.
Ryan brought in a plate of toast and scrambled eggs, which she made short work of.
He'd been reviewing all the possible reasons she'd wound up lying in a hospital bed, none he liked. In fact, most made him downright angry because if this wasn't random, then his mind snapped to the very real possibility that a boyfriend or someone she cared about had done this to her. Fire raged through his veins, burning him from the inside out at the thought. He'd nearly caught on fire last night thinking about how she'd kept watching the door yesterday, afraid. She'd evaded all of his questions even when he'd made sure her back was against the wall. She would rather toss him out than give him the truth. He'd suffered enough at the hands of his father to know when someone was covering for an abuser. Ryan had been that person.
Giving a false report to the law could get her in real trouble. They needed to have a discussion about that.
“So, tell me what's going on with you, Lisa. Are you seeing someone?” She wouldn't come out and tell him she was being abused. He'd need to let her know she could trust him first.
“No.” She shook her head for emphasis.
Okay, fine. Looking at her expression, he believed her. Lisa was a bad liar and it was mostly because she had no practice at it. After dealing with his family, Ryan appreciated that about her. But that didn't mean a guy from her past hadn't resurfaced. Maybe even someone who knew her sister. He thought about how protective she'd been over Lori and Grayson.
“Then what?” he asked, not wanting to own up to the relief he felt knowing she didn't have a boyfriend. It shouldn't matter. He had to be hands-off when it came to her.
“I appreciate everything you're doing for me, Ryan, I do.” She paused, looking as though she was searching for the right words. “Maybe I should go.”
“No, you don't.” She was in too deep, and he needed to be delicate with what he needed to ask. “You're staying here. Just give me a reason why you won't tell me what's going on.”
“I would if I could. Can we leave it at that?” There was that fear in her eyes again. If he said, “Boo!” she'd bolt. Anger roared through him.
“We can for now.” He needed to know what he was up against, but there were other ways to get at the truth without pushingâpushing would only drive her away. Ryan knew that from personal experience, as well. Lisa looked as if she might explode from fear and he didn't want her getting the idea that she had to go home. At least while she was at his place he could keep an eye on things, make sure she was okay. They already had history and he could build on that to get her to trust him. Then, as soon as he found out that bastard's name, Ryan would make sure the guy never touched anyone else ever again.
“Promise me something?” she asked, and he could hear the fear in her voice no matter how much she tried to mask it.
He nodded.
“Don't tell anyone I'm here. Or where Lori and Grayson are staying at least until I get my head around everything that's happened and we make arrangements for my father.” A few tears fell, streaking her cheeks.
He thumbed them away, ignoring the impulse to lean forward and kiss her.
“You have my word. I won't tell a soul. But if I'm going to protect you, then I need to know what I'm up against.” That seemed to strike a chord.
She pursed her lips and then nodded.
Chapter Five
“The swelling is worse on my cheek, isn't it?” Lisa asked as she walked into the kitchen, where Ryan was doing dishes.
“Let me help you.” He made a move toward her but was met with a hand.
“I want to do this on my own. Can't stick around here forever.”
“You just got here last night.” Ryan was used to people leaning on him. This was the first time he met a wall every time he tried to help. Lisa and her sister had been bounced around when they were kids and he suspected that was the reason she kept everyone at arm's length.
“It doesn't hurt as much to do this, though.” She stretched her arms out and then lifted her hands above her head.
The move caused her breasts to press against the fabric of her shirt. Spending 24/7 together wasn't doing good things to his hormones. Those feelings from the past had resurfaced and that was most likely because he hadn't spent much time around her since then. You'd think he was still eighteen for how much his body reacted to her. He needed to keep himself in check.
“That's a good thing. Do you want a couple of pain relievers? I have over-the-counter stuff, but it'll take the edge off.” Ryan handed her a fresh cup of coffee. She'd been tight-lipped so far about what was going on. She kept reassuring him that she'd be fine, but those nightmares told a different story.
Ryan had a fleeting thought that her attack could be related to Charles Alcorn slipping out of police custody. His capture brought up the old trauma from their friend and her brother being abducted fifteen years ago.
Would that cause Lisa to wake up in the middle of the night screaming? Ryan's gut instinct said no. Something like that came from deep-seeded fears. He knew all about those.
“No, I'm fine. I need to check in with my sister. Have you seen my cell?”
“Spoke to her this morning. She and Grayson are doing great, enjoying the view of the lake.”
“When did you do that?” She moved to the kitchen window, wearing his boxers tied off at the waist and an oversize T-shirt, drinking her coffee.
“Early. Figured she'd be up with Grayson.”
“How long has your SUV been here?” The fear was back.
“Since about eight o'clock. I called in a few favors to expedite the process. Having a friend in the private security business helped. Why?”
“No reason.” She shrugged off the comment, trying to make it look as if she didn't care.
This might be the opportunity he'd been looking for to get her to open up a little more. He needed to find the right words or he'd scare her into her shell faster than a sea turtle being hunted by a shark.
“What made you become a teacher?” he asked.
“It sounds corny but I like working with kids. Seeing their eyes light up when something clicks is the best feeling,” she said, and her mood instantly improved. She settled down at the kitchen table with her coffee.
He'd found a less threatening subject. Good.
“I can see in your eyes that you love your job.” He joined her at the table. He wondered how much her own difficult childhood played into her career choice.
“I can't imagine doing anything else,” she said, her face glowing.
And that shouldn't make Ryan smile, but it did. He chalked it up to enjoying seeing his friend happy.
“Did you know that my dad never finished high school?” she asked.
“I probably should know that. You know me. I'm not one for gossip.” Hadn't he always had his hands full with his own family?
“He didn't. I think it always bothered him, too. He always pushed me and Lori to graduate and go to college.” Tears welled in her eyes.
“I'm sure he's proud of you both,” Ryan said.
She turned her face toward the window and he could see that she was struggling to control her emotions.
He gave her the space she needed, resisting the urge to move across that table and haul her into his arms.
“You know what keeps me awake at night?” she finally asked, turning to face him. “My sister and Grayson. I worry about her bringing up a child alone.”
“Lori isn't alone. She has you.” Don't think he didn't notice that she'd just changed the subject before he could dig deeper. Okay, fine. He didn't have it in him to press when she was barely able to tamp down her emotions. But he was determined to make progress with her at some point today. He'd go ask her coworkers if school was in session. Maybe he could dig around a little, anyway. Surely someone knew about her personal life.
“True, but Grayson needs a father and that doesn't look like it's going to happen.” She took a sip of coffee. “Jessie cut off all contact with her when he found out she was pregnant.”
“Better it happen now than later.”
“How do you know it would have happened later? He never gave her a chance.” She shot fire at him through her eyes.
He held his hands up in surrender. “That didn't come out right. I'm just saying that it would hurt less now, while Grayson's little, than if he had the chance to get to know his dad before he took off.”
She hesitated for a second. “I can see why you'd think that.”
“I know what you're thinking and you're exactly right,” he conceded. How in hell's name did she flip this into a conversation about his family? “I learned that lesson the hard way.”
“I remember when your mom left. It changed you,” she said softly. He hadn't expected her to remember, or to hear so much compassion in her voice when she talked about his family.
“A mother choosing to walk out doesn't do good things to a ten-year-old boy.”
“No, you're right. That never should have happened.” Lisa didn't add the fact that she'd left her sons with a cruel man, and he appreciated her for it. “For what it's worth, I'm sorry.”
Those last two words spoken from Lisa did more to ease the ache in his chest than almost two decades of going over and over it in his own mind, reminding himself countless times that it wasn't his fault.
“Have you spoken to her since then?” she asked, studying her coffee mug.
“No. I don't even have a good address on her.” This discussion wasn't the one Ryan wanted to have. The only reason he'd keep going is that it just might help bridge the gap between them, help her to trust him to talk about deeper issues.
“It's not hard to find people these days. All you need is a name and you can search the internet,” she said.
“Sure. If you want to find them.”
“And you don't?” she glanced up from her mug, curious.
“I've already told you. I'm not that good with technology,” he countered.
“Oh no, you don't, mister. You're not getting away with it that easily. Nice try, though.”
“You got me, then.” How did he put this without sounding like an SOB? “She's the one who walked out. Why on earth would I go chasing after someone who could just as easily find me if she wanted to? Just in case you haven't put it together yet, she hasn't even tried.”
“How do you know?” Lisa's brow furrowed in the way it did when she studied something intently. She might have been looking at her coffee mug, but she was carefully considering his responses. And from the look of it, she was also holding back her true opinion.
“Why is any of this important to you?” He didn't mean to sound so clipped. Talking about his mother never seemed to get any easier.
She glanced up at him.
“I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so nosy.” She ran her finger along the rim of the cup. “I guess I was thinking of all the good times I would've missed with my own father if I hadn't forgiven him for some of the things he did when he was drinking.”
“There is one big difference between our parents.”
“Which is?”
“Yours cared enough to stick around.”
* * *
L
ISA
NEEDED
TO
change the subject. Witnessing the hurt in Ryan's eyes when he spoke about his mother was a shot to the heart and she feared she was only making the situation worse by dredging up the past. Some topics weren't good to revisit.
Ryan did it for her when he stood and took his mug to the sink, mumbling something about making plans for the day.
And it could just be the fact that she was missing her own father that made her want to heal Ryan's relationships. Speaking of her family, she needed to talk to her sister.
“Did you say that you saw my cell?” she asked while he seemed to intently focus on whatever he had going on in the sink.
He stopped what he was doing for a second.
“Is there something going on with my phone?” she asked.
“Are you sure you want it? That thing hasn't stopped vibrating and buzzing.”
“What did you do with it?”
“Nothing. Well, I turned it off. You needed to rest and I was afraid it would wake you. I brought it out here and then it kept me up, which is the other reason I slept in that chair last night.”
Normally, the thought of her smartphone being stuffed inside a drawer or tucked away on a counter would create a level-five panic. In this case, she was grateful. Everyone would most likely be trying to figure out what was going on with her or sending their condolences. Even though people were well-intentioned and she would get back to them as soon as she could, she wasn't strong enough to face it yet.
“We need to stop by the funeral home later today to make the arrangements,” he said.
“Did they call?”
“No. I made contact with them. I knew you and your sister weren't in the right place to be able to handle it yet. I didn't want them leaving messages, so I figured I'd reach out and keep them posted on your progress. They said they'd have someone available early evening today, after closing, so you'd be assured privacy.”
Ryan had no idea how comforting those words truly were. “Can we go see Lori and Grayson after?”
“I have a few things to take care of tonight. We can leave for Arkansas first thing in the morning. We'll go at first light.”
“Great.” She could live with that. Besides, that would give her another night of rest to heal. As it was, she was afraid that she'd scare her nephew. She could hide the bruises with makeup.
Most of the day she spent curled up on the couch watching TV.
Lisa was determined to dress herself. Ryan had washed her clothes and it felt good to have on something clean that fit. The drive to the funeral home went by quickly.
There were only two cars in the parking lot when they arrived. She noticed a late-model blue sedan parked near the front door. The second, a pickup truck, was positioned around the side of the building. The bed was loaded with mulch and equipment that looked like gardening supplies. The sun was bright. It wouldn't be dark in this part of Texas for three hours and yet the place still had a creepy feel to it.
Maybe it was the knowledge that there was so much death around her that made the hairs on her neck prick. Or the fact that she knew her father lay inside, breathless, gone.
Tears welled, stinging the backs of her eyes.
“Can we stop by my place on the way home?” she asked. “I need to pick up clothes and makeup.”
Ryan seemed to pick up on her anxiety because he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead before helping her out of his SUV. He held out his hand. She took it, the warmth in his touch calming her, and ignored the pain shooting through her chest with every step toward the sales office. This pain was different than what she'd felt for the past few days. She felt that, too. This hurt from the inside out, sucked the air from her lungs in one whoosh and made her want to fold onto her knees and cry without stopping.
The emotions that she couldn't afford to allow herself to feel about her father's death threatened to explode. The inside of her head felt like raging storm clouds gathering, clinging thickly in the air, making it difficult to think.
Her father's body had already been identified. At least she didn't have to do that. Oh, but Lori had and Lisa hated that her baby sister had been the one to do it. Even worse was that Lisa had been in the hospital and Lori had had to deal with it alone. Ever since their mother had died, it had always been the two of them together, supporting each other through their dad's antics. Lisa had stepped up to try and fill their mother's shoes.
The door was locked, so Ryan tapped on the glass.
An older man appeared from down a hallway, waving and smiling. He opened the door and shook each of their hands, beginning with Lisa's.
“Please come inside. I'm pleased to meet both of you. My name is Arthur.” His spoke in a soft, even tone. He was a short man in his late fifties. He wore a simple suit with a button-down shirt and no tie.
Inside, the walls were painted taupe, a calming color, and the decor was simple. There was a cherrywood desk with matching bookcase and cabinets. The leather executive chair was tucked into the desk. It was eerily quiet and no one else appeared to be inside the building.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet this late,” Lisa said. “I'm Lisa and this is my friend Ryan. I believe you two spoke on the phone.”
“It's my pleasure to assist you in putting your loved one to rest.” Arthur's hands were clasped, his shoulders slightly rounded.
He isn't at rest
, Lisa thought,
he's dead
. Tension tightened the muscles in her shoulders and back. Arthur was being polite, doing his job, so it wasn't him causing her to tense up. Maybe it was the thought that her father didn't have to be...gone.
She took in a deep breath and refocused.
“Please, follow me.” Arthur turned and then walked down the hallway, stopping at the second door on the right. There was a Bible verse written on one wall that she remembered from her childhood. On the other was a poster that read Celebrate the Life of Your Loved One. Ask Your Representative for Details.