His gut clenched at the mention of love. “Shh.” He pressed her head to his chest. “I’m fine. Nobody dying here.”
“I…” Her breaths came in shuddered waves.
“Don’t cry,” he said. “Here, scoot down and rest. You have a busy day tomorrow.”
He pulled her lower in the bed as he slid down. Once he got settled, she put her head on his chest. He wondered if she could hear his heart racing. She’d scared at least two years off his life when she’d cried out. She’d been so much pain when her parents died and then she’d watched his own brush with death thanks to Bad Bob. He hated that sharing this house might produce such emotionally draining nightmares for her. Somehow, he would find a way to make up for all the crap he’d dumped in her life.
“God, your mattress is as bad as mine.” He shifted in an attempt to move his ass off a particularly hard lump. “Maybe worse.”
She snorted. “I know. Isn’t it awful?” She released a wistful sigh. “I miss the gel-filled foam mattress I was sleeping on at Uncle James’s house. It was like floating on a cloud.”
He made a note to call the furniture store first thing tomorrow morning. He may have been a total ass in her past, but maybe he could atone a little now with a decent mattress. It was the least he could do.
“Okay then…” he wiggled his hips, “…I’ve got the worst lump flattened. You need to sleep.”
She yawned. “I’m okay now. You don’t have to stay.” But even as she said the words, her head grew heavier on his chest as she relaxed.
He didn’t reply. Instead, he continued to stroke her hair and rub her back until her breathing became slow and regular.
Bright moonlight streamed through the window, giving him enough light to see that her eyes were shut, her light lashes resting on her round cheeks.
“Are you asleep?” he whispered. When she gave no response, he said, “I wish things could have been different with us. If I could go back and change the past, I would never have walked away from you. I really cared for you…maybe too much. But it’s too late now. You deserve so much more than a broken-down cowboy with a questionable future.”
She shifted, scooting closer and nuzzling her head under his chin. Her soft flesh pressed into his side. He froze, wondering if she’d heard him. But a light snore from her reassured him his secret was safe.
He thought that he might still be in love her, but nothing would happen between them. He wouldn’t pursue a future with her. It wouldn’t be a good life for her.
“You’re safe with me. I won’t make it hard on either of us. I promise not to kiss you again or try to get you in bed. I’ll be your best friend.” He sealed his promise with a press of his lips on the top of her head. The scent of fresh lilacs filled his senses. He drew in a deep breath and let the sweet aroma set a memory in his mind.
So Cash believed she was safe with him. He believed he got to define their relationship, did he? Didn’t she have any say at all? What an idiot. She couldn’t believe he fell for that fake snore.
Dumb-ass.
Goose bumps popped on her arms as she thought about how gently he’d stroked her hair. When he’d left that kiss on her head, it was all she could do not to turn in his arms and rip his inane restraint to shreds.
Hmm. Maybe that’s what she should do. Hook him like a fish, reel him in and then brutally cut line like he had her.
But he’d felt so good next to her last night. Even with the rock-hard lump under her hip, she hadn’t moved away. When she’d awoken this morning still wrapped in his arms, it had taken every ounce of willpower to slide from the bed. Shockingly, he hadn’t moved.
She’d left him cinnamon rolls and a fresh pot of coffee for breakfast. Wonder what he thought about that? Did he smile when he saw them? Would he have licked the icing off his fingers? Licked his lips? Think about her as he ate them? Wonder—
“Paige?”
Paige jumped at the sound of her name. “What?”
Dr. Lydia Henson smiled at her. “You were a million miles away.”
“Just thinking. Sorry. Here’s the file on your next patient.” She passed the medical chart to Lydia, who nodded when she saw the name on the tab.
“Ah, yes. Mr. Francis. We all know him well. Come on. Time you meet our favorite patient.”
The day rolled by slowly. Paige didn’t want to admit how badly she wanted to go home. The nursing work was fine and the clinic staff had all been friendly and helpful, but she couldn’t get the damn man at home out of her head.
She pulled her car around to the back of the house ready to climb the back steps. It wasn’t until she saw the rope tied across the bottom step that she remembered Cash had said he was planning on painting today, and he had. Brilliant, almost blinding white paint covered the new stairs, handrail and back porch. He’d even found time to paint the back door a glossy green. She restarted her car and pulled to the front of the house.
“Hey! You here?” she called, walking in the front door.
“Upstairs. Come up and tell me what you think.”
Paige climbed the stairs, picking up Ruby from the middle step and carrying her along. The change was dramatic enough to have her gasping with surprised pleasure. “Wow. You have a great eye for decorating.”
The upstairs open area now sported a purple, turquoise and brown geometric design rug. The furniture—a set of cushy recliners and a full-sized sofa—were a rich mahogany leather. Light-colored wood and glass end tables flanked the sofa and filled the area between the chairs. “This is beautiful.” A huge—eighty-inch was her guess—flat-screen television completed the room.
“And in here, no more lumpy bed.” He swept his arm toward the large bedroom at the front of the house.
Inside was a king-sized bed with a leather headboard and bedside tables with marble inlays, plus a matching dresser.
“Nice,” she said with a nod. “Very nice.”
Buster bounded out of the bedroom to greet her. “Hey, Buster.” She sat Ruby on the floor and the two pets started a game of tag up and down the stairs.
“Glad you approve. There was an armoire I wanted but I didn’t think it would fit in the room.” He looked around. “Now that it’s all in here, I know it wouldn’t.”
“Well, color me jealous,” she said with a laugh.
“Aww,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll let you rent my room whenever you want.”
She punched his side with her elbow. “Meany.” She slipped from under his arm. “By the way, the back porch looks great.” She headed for the stairs and then looked over her shoulder. “How’s your leg holding up with all the physical labor?”
He rubbed his thigh. “A little achy but I’ll live.”
“I’m going to change before dinner. Leftover roast.”
“Sounds great.”
She went to her room, unbuttoning her blouse as soon as she got to the hallway. Her bedroom door was open, which was odd because she was sure she’d closed it this morning. She let out an ear-splitting scream when she looked in.
“Andrew Lane Montgomery. I can’t believe you did this,” she yelled and then flopped in the middle of her new gel-filled foam mattress. “Oh my God. This is wonderful.” She rolled from side-to-side, giggling with glee. “I can’t believe it.”
“One night was all it took for me. I don’t know how you’ve slept there a week.”
She leaned up on her elbows. “Thank you. I can’t believe it. I just can’t. You didn’t have to do this.”
He gave her one of his lecherous grins. “Nice look.”
Paige looked down and got a great view of her beige bra through the unbuttoned front of her shirt. “Oh crap.” She jerked the sides together.
“I’ve seen a bra before, Paige. Chill.”
She snorted. Of course he had. Plenty of them was her guess. Nonetheless, what he’d done for her, replacing her god-awful bag of rocks disguised as a mattress, deserved at least a kiss.
The grin on his face faltered a little as she neared. “Thank you, Cash. I’ll pay you back. I swear. Every penny.” She arched up on her toes, held his face in her hands and pulled him lower for a kiss. It started as a press of lips. Simple. Sweet. Innocent. Then she felt the palm of his large hand at the base of her neck sliding into her hair. He pulled back until their gazes met.
“You don’t owe me anything. Certainly not for this mattress.”
He took her mouth in a hard kiss that quickly became greedy and demanding. The tip of his tongue tickled at her lips. When she parted them, he thrust into her mouth, his tongue filling the cavity, touching and stroking every centimeter. She moved her tongue against his. Electrified at his taste, buzzed by the sheer pleasure at his mastery of a simple kiss, she put all she had into the kiss.
Her nervous system flipped into overdrive. Heart palpitations. Choppy breathing, when she could draw a breath. Toes curled under. Hells bells. She was sweating behind her knees.
When he spread his other hand across her shoulders and he pulled her tight against him, his hard shaft pressed into her stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was too much. He was too much. She wanted more. She wanted everything.
Instead, she pushed away on unsteady legs.
“This isn’t a good idea,” she managed to squeak out. Her voice was raspy, raw, as affected by the kiss as the rest of her. “We have to live together. Get along for the next few months. I—”
“No, you’re right.” He backed up. “Sorry. I—”
“No, it’s was my fault.” She took a couple of steps away. “I’ll just finish changing clothes and get started on dinner.”
“I just remembered I’m supposed to be somewhere.” He turned and headed back into the hall. “I’ll be back later. Don’t hold dinner for me. I’ll grab something while I’m out.”
“Wait, Cash. You don’t have to leave.”
“Yeah, I do.”
He turned and, walking with long strides, was gone. She heard the front door slam, his truck fire up, and rocks crunching as he tore down the drive. Sitting on the side of her bed, she drew in a deep breath. Well, hell.
She kept expecting him home all evening, but when he hadn’t returned by eleven, she took Buster outside for his nightly walk, killing a little more time. Finally, she had to get to bed if she wanted to have a functioning brain in the morning. Taking Buster and Ruby with her, she sank into her new bed and slept the sleep of the dead.
Cash sat in the drive staring at old man Fitzgerald’s house. What had he been thinking? He lifted the bourbon bottle to his mouth, took a long swig and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Paige Ryan deserved a man who could give her kids, a stable future. He wasn’t that man.
He took another gulp of the booze, feeling the satisfying burn as it slid down his throat. His brothers were right. He didn’t deserve a woman like Paige, not that they’d ever said those words, but it’d been obvious at dinner on Sunday. When Caroline suggested matchmaking Paige with the new sheriff’s department deputy, there’d been a general consensus around the table of the brilliance of that idea because, after all, Marc Singer might make excellent husband material. Not one person had suggested Cash might be a good catch.
He poured the rest of the bottle of bourbon in his mouth. Nope. He wiped his hand across his lips. Nobody had given little brother a second of thought. Not one member of his family saw him as anything other than a loser. General consensus there too. Hell, he agreed with them.
He climbed from his truck and stumbled over the rocky drive to the house. He should just move out, but he wasn’t going to. He liked the little area he’d set up.
The front door was unlocked. After letting himself in, he locked it and stumbled up the stairs. He stepped on something and jumped when it squeaked. Oh crap. Buster. He’d forgotten about Buster.
“Buster,” he called in a hushed tone. “Where are you, boy? Come here.” He clapped his hands but the dog didn’t come. In the quiet house, he thought he heard a bark. Following the quiet yips, he traced Buster to Paige’s bedroom. He opened the door far enough for the dog to get out but not so far that he’d be able to see Paige. If she was awake, he didn’t want to see the censure in her eyes. If she was asleep, he was afraid he’d stay watching her like some pervert. Instead, he collected the dog that wasn’t his from the bedroom of the woman who could never be his and headed to his own bed.
Chapter Seven
The next couple of weeks, Paige and Cash maintained a polite distance. For breakfast, Paige would gulp down a cup of coffee while chewing on a breakfast bar. Then she’d rush out of the house for work. Cash would have a couple of cups of coffee while he scanned the newspaper. Of course they’d say good morning, and at bedtime, good night, but in between, the conversation was as impersonal as two strangers sharing adjoining seats on a plane.
Cash continued to work on the exterior of the house, finding more boards that time and weather had eaten away. When he began painting the exterior, the wood sucked up the paint like water poured on sand. The sun-exposed side required three coats of white while the others seemed to be satisfied after two.
The first week of hard labor had left him sore and stiff, his leg letting him know every night how displeased it was. However, by the end of the second week, his pain was manageable with a couple of aspirin. After his shower every evening, he was too tired to do much more than eat whatever Paige put on the table and then crash upstairs in front of his television.
Three weeks after their devastating kiss, Cash was tired of staying home and tired of Paige’s guarded facade around him. He put up his tools early and took his shower, ready to suggest dinner out when Paige returned. Besides, it was the Friday night of Memorial Day weekend. She’d been doing all the cooking, mostly because his cooking wasn’t edible. She deserved a nice night out. Plus, dinner out with Paige was the perfect way to start a long holiday weekend.
At close to five, he heard her car pull up the drive. He met her at the front door with his friendliest smile, the one that always won the ladies.
“Hey. How about dinner at the Longstar Grill? Or we can go to that new Italian place if you want. I owe you about dozen meals.”
His heart skittered when she smiled. “That’s sounds wonderful, Cash, but I already have plans for tonight.”
His smile faltered. “You do? Dinner plans?”
“I’m sorry. If I’d known, I’d have told Marc no.”
“Marc?”
“Marc Singer. A deputy with the sheriff’s department. Lydia introduced us. Anyway, we’ve had lunch a couple of times, and when he dropped by today, he asked if I wanted to try Amore’s, which is so strange since I was telling you the other night about it. So I said yes.” She checked her watch. “I need to get moving if I want to get a shower and freshen up before he gets here.” She took a couple of steps and then turned back to him. “Do you want me to put something on for dinner for you before I leave?”
“No. Don’t worry about me.” He tried for a flippant, disaffected tone, not sure if he achieved it or not. “Great about your date. We’ll do dinner out another time.”
“Well.” She drew the word out. “If you’re sure.” She took another couple of steps and stopped. “Are you sure you don’t mind if I go out?”
Of course he minded. The oh-so-perfect deputy. Didn’t anyone in his blasted family realize that Paige deserved more than a guy who might get shot down on the job? Besides, every redneck deputy Cash knew was at least fifty pounds overweight and had the personality of jackasses, braying and bragging about everything. And now that he thought about it, Caroline hadn’t said anything about the guy being attractive, only that he was nice.
Ha! Nice! The kiss of death for a guy.
“Of course I don’t mind,” he said with a straight face. “Why would I care if my roomie has a date? You have fun.”
She shrugged. “Okay.” She rounded the corner and headed down the short hall to her room.
Cash dropped onto the steps and Buster bounded up to him as though saying, “Yay. Let’s play,” and dropped a tennis ball beside Cash’s feet. He lobbed the ball through the living room and into the dining room. The puppy, his paws too big for his body, flung himself off the step after the ball, his uncoordinated lope bringing a grin to Cash’s face.
When was the last time he’d tried to find a home for Buster? The gangly puppy trotted back to him with the bright-yellow ball clutched in his mouth.
“Drop it.”
Buster released the ball immediately. He might be a little clumsy and his ears long enough to drag the floor, but Buster was smart. He learned commands after only a couple of tries. No matter how long Cash left Buster outside, the dog never wandered off. It was as if he’d decided he’d found his home. And now that he’d spent some time thinking about it, it’d been at least a couple of weeks since he’d offered Buster to someone, and even that offer had been half-hearted at best.
He and Buster headed back upstairs. The last thing he wanted to see was Paige all made up for another guy, even if he was probably fifty pounds overweight. He dropped into a leather recliner and turned on the local news.
The craving for a beer haunted him in the worst way. It’d been weeks since he’d had a drink, and what had that gotten him? Paige hadn’t noticed. His family probably still considered him a drunk and a total loser. Olivia and Mitch’s opinions of him couldn’t get much lower. They’d even given up on inviting him over for dinner,
The rumble of a diesel truck in the drive had him pushing down the footrest and heading for the stairs. He might not want to see Paige, but he did want to get an eye on the guy picking her up. He’d make sure this deputy understood that Paige was special and he’d better treat her right.
Cash flung open the front door after a single knock, hoping Marc Singer was fat and balding with rotten teeth and bad breath. Fuck. He was as tall as Cash with black hair cut very short. When he smiled, his teeth damn near blinded Cash. What was this guy? A toothpaste model on the side?
“Hi.” Marc shoved his hand forward. “I’m Marc Singer. You must be Cash Montgomery.”
Cash took his hand in a bruising grip. “I am.” He didn’t try to make his voice less brusque. “Paige tells me you are talking her to Amore’s. That’s nice. What time will you be back?”
“Okay, Dad. Stop it.” Paige came up behind him with a laugh. “Mom said I could stay out until midnight now that I’m twenty-one.”
Marc chuckled.
Paige stepped around Cash. “Hi, Marc. I guess you’ve met my guard dog, Cash.”
Marc nodded. “I did. I’ve heard so much about him from Lydia that I feel like I already know him.” He looked at Cash. “Quite an impressive career. Don’t know how you got on the backs of those crazy bulls. I know I could never do it.”
Now Cash was getting really mad. Not only was the man obviously attractive, he was nice. And his breath was minty fresh when he spoke.
Damn it.
“You just get on and hang on,” Cash replied. “Just takes some balls. You have some balls, right?”
“Well, we’d better go,” Paige said, effectively putting a stop to Cash’s testosterone-induced posturing.
“You’re right,” Marc said. “Nice to meet you, Cash.” He stepped back to allow Paige through the door.
“Don’t wait up,” she whispered to Cash.
Fuck.
He was at a loss of how to spend his evening now that his original plan had just left in a shiny black truck. Absentmindedly, he tossed the tennis ball from hand to hand as he debated his options. He could go to Leo’s, but Leo was such an old woman these days. He’d be on the phone to Cash’s brothers before Cash could get half a beer down. There was that other hole-in-the-wall joint, Maxine’s. But sitting and drinking all evening didn’t hold much appeal these days.
Buster barked and Cash realized the poor dog had been watching the tennis ball for the past few minutes, just waiting for Cash to play.
“Sorry, boy.” Cash arced the ball toward the dining room and the puppy tore out. Balls. He’d told the deputy that riding a bull took balls, and it did. Somewhere, Cash’s balls had shriveled up with his nerve. He needed to go to see Olivia and Mitch. Hell, he needed to talk to Mitch about his investment, and yet he didn’t have enough balls to drive onto their property. Fuck that.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through the directory until he found the number for Kickin’ Bull Ranch. His sister answered.
“Hey, sis. What’s going on out there? I thought maybe I could take you up on one of your dinner invitations.”
“Sorry, little bro. My darling husband is taking me to Amore’s for dinner. That’s that new Italian place.”
“Yes. I’m aware.”
“I’ve been waiting to go since its opening a couple of weeks ago. Took this long for us to get reservations, so as much as I’d love to have you out, afraid it’ll have to be another night.”
Amore’s? What the….? Was the place giving away meals tonight?
“No problem. I just found my evening free and I’ve been promising to come out so I thought maybe our nights might match up. No big deal. Ask Mitch if we can get together about the business next week”
“I’m sure he can, but I’ll let him know to call you.”
“Have a nice meal.”
Wasn’t his night getting better and better? He considered calling his parents, but the thought of his mother’s sincere but smothering love was more than he could take this evening.
Travis and Caroline had only been home for a month with the twins, so he didn’t imagine they’d be interested in him dropping by. He called Jason’s cell phone. The background noise when his brother answered suggested he was in a car.
“Hey,” Cash said. “What’s going on?”
“Not much. Lydia and I are headed out for dinner.”
“Any place good?”
“Amore’s. We’re meeting some people there.”
“Oh. Well, I’ll let you go.”
“No, that’s okay. What’d you need?”
“Nothing.” He paused. “Mitch and Olivia are headed there. So are Paige and Marc Singer.”
The pregnant pause on his brother’s end was deafening. “Yeah. I know.”
“So you all meeting there for dinner?”
Jason cleared his throat. “Yeah.”
“Travis and Caroline too?”
“Well…it’s just that…” He cleared his throat again. “It’s just that Lydia thought it might be nice if all of us got together.”
“Us?”
“You know. A couples sort of thing.”
“So Paige and this guy are a couple?”
“I don’t know, Cash. I just go where Lydia tells me. Listen, I need to run. We’re at the restaurant. I’ll give you a shout tomorrow, okay? Glad you called. Let’s get together soon.”
During his phone calls, Cash had paced from the living room, into the dining room, out the side door in the dining room and onto the trellis-covered deck at the side of the house. After Jason clicked off, Cash stood holding his phone not quite sure what he was feeling inside. Frustrated? Yep. Mad? Yep. Confused that his brothers and sister hadn’t included him in the dinner plans? Most definitely.
He
got
that this was a couples thing, but he could have found a date if they’d given him advance notice. If his sister-in-law hadn’t been such an activist in matching his roommate up with the new deputy, he could have brought Paige. She’d fit nicely with his family.
Shit. She
was
fitting nicely into his family. He was the one on the outside. Hell of a thing when an outsider meshed better with his family than he did.
After a dinner of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he went upstairs to find something on television to watch. Even Ruby and Butch had deserted him to play tag with each other.
He was a single shoe in a closet of pairs.
He popped the back of his recliner into sitting when the slam of a truck door echoed in the quiet night. Rolling his gaze to the left, he saw that it was late, almost midnight. That was a long damn dinner. Whispering Springs was a small community, certainly not large enough to support much night life other than bars. Granted, there were nights when Leo’s had live music, but since he hadn’t been there in over a month, he had no idea if that’s where they might have been. Plus, he couldn’t imagine Olivia and Caroline staying away from the children until midnight.
How should he play this? Stay up here? Let the cop get his goodnight kiss at the door? Oh crap. What if she brought him back to her bed? He didn’t think he could take that. He might have to kill the bastard.
He bided his time, listening for the front door to open. If the sonofabitch came in with her, he could make the situation uncomfortable enough that maybe he’d leave.
The squeak in the hinge of the front door—the one he’d been meaning to oil—alerted him that someone was entering. Maybe oiling that squeak could wait a while longer.
As much as he didn’t want to, as much as he hated he couldn’t control his actions, he looked over the railing into the living room. Paige was alone. She was bending over to pet Buster and Ruby, giving him an excellent view of her ass.
“Have fun?”
She startled and looked up. A smile slowly crawled across her mouth. “I did. The food was wonderful.”
Her cherry-red lipstick was slightly smeared off her upper lip on the right side. An unwanted ping of jealousy rattled his gut.
He gritted his teeth, but the question got out anyway. “Does he kiss good?”
Her eyes opened wide in surprise.
“Come on up. I’d love to hear all about it.” His knuckles were white where he’d wrapped his fingers around the railing.
“It’s late.” She looked away and stood. “I should get some—”
“If you won’t come up, I’ll come down.”
She made the mistake of looking up toward Cash again. He wasn’t at the railing. Her heart leapt at the vision of him hurrying down the stairs. Dressed in a pair of sweat pants that’d been cut off at the knees and a torn work-out shirt, he appeared bigger than life, tougher than beef jerky. His bare feet slapped on the polished wood of each step. She suddenly had a flashback to the night of her eighteenth birthday. The warrior charging across a battlefield. She needed to move, to run to her bedroom and slam the door, but she couldn’t. Her feet were glued to the floor. A battle of mind versus heart. Tonight, her heart was stronger.
He stopped in front of her. His body heat didn’t. It swept forward, wrapped around her, swaddled her in warmth. Pulled by all that power and energy, she swayed. He caught her face between the palms of his hands, wrapping his fingers around her head and into her hair.
“Did he kiss you like this?” he said in a breathy whisper against her lips. And then he took her mouth in a savage kiss. All lips and teeth, touching, grinding, nibbling.