Authors: RJ Scott
“D’you see Riley?” he asked his mom.
Donna was in charge of salads because she was determined to be in charge of something. She’d swept in an hour ago, announcing Neil was on call and that she was bored and was now, in her own words, in charge of everything that hadn’t once mooed. She looked up from chopping tomatoes and shook her head.
“Haven’t seen him since he went looking for tongs or something,” she answered, deftly sliding salad bits into a large bowl.
Jack stole a tomato on the way past, sneakily avoiding getting a smack with the spoon she was stirring dressing with, and made his way into the hall. What he found in their bedroom was a very odd-acting Riley.
“Hayley said you needed help.”
Riley nodded and held up the tongs they used for barbecues. “I couldn’t find the tongs.”
His expression looked a little distant, and worry spiked in Jack.
“What’s wrong, Riley?” He stepped closer and gently took the tongs from Riley’s grip, placing them on the bed, holding his husband’s hands in his. “Are you ill?”
Riley blinked at the question, then shook his head. “I didn’t lose the tongs.”
Jack was really not following this, and he glanced at the offending kitchen utensil on the covers of their bed like it could give him answers. “Okay,” he said. He tried for encouraging with a dose of inquiry.
“I knew where it was, where it always is. In the third drawer on the left, with all the other things we need today. It’s the drawer under the one with the string and batteries and… y’know, the junk drawer where we dump everything that we need to keep.”
“So, you found it?”
“Everything has a place. I don’t know if that’s me, or you, but between us everything is so organized. I have my office, you have your horses, we have Carol, the family. The kids are happy and it seems like every minute we have is all so….”
“So?”
Riley sighed noisily. “We do so much.”
Jack now completely lost it. He couldn’t figure a connection to the tongs, but assumed they were actually little to do with what was in Riley’s head at the moment.
Riley continued. “I miss you. I miss us. I need us-time, and I need to be as organized about it as we are about where we put the freaking tongs. We’re so tired when we get to bed, all we do is sleep.”
“Riley—”
“You know, we’ve only made love three times since the Valentine’s dance?”
“I wasn’t keeping score,” Jack said and frowned.
“Well, I am, and that’s a freaking long time. I don’t want to change how we are. I love who we are, but I don’t want to lose the thing that is
us
. I don’t want
us
to be ordinary.”
Riley had worked up the volume in the words, and Jack glanced back at their bedroom door. He released Riley’s hands, crossed to the door, locked it, then returned to Riley.
“We could never be ordinary,” Jack said. He took Riley’s hands again and tugged him close, pressing his nose against the warm skin at the juncture of Riley’s throat and shoulder. Riley smelled of sunshine and shower gel, and the scent alone had Jack half-hard. The taste of Riley was intoxicating and he needed another fix, a habit he never wanted to kick.
“I’m being fucking ridiculous,” Riley muttered. He linked his hands around Jack and held him tight. “We have this perfect life: the kids, the house, family, but we add more and more, the riding stables, the ethical oil exploration, and now the new shelter idea. What happens if we lose us?”
Riley had been off all week, and Jack had put it down to nothing more than one of Riley’s
serious times
, something that happened every so often. After seeing Anna in the hospital, Riley had been quiet, and that hadn’t changed in seven days. Guilt speared Jack. Was this happening because Riley was actually worried to death about Jack taking on yet another project that would carve away a commitment of time with their family? He hadn’t thought it would be an issue, and he was desperate to do something for the young men he’d met, but should he put that before Riley?
“This is my fault.” Jack gripped Riley back as hard as Riley was holding him. “I’ll find a way to get around the shelter idea—”
“No.” Riley pulled back a little. “I didn’t mean that.” He frowned.
Jack wasn’t afraid to point out how he felt. “I’m confused.”
Riley snorted. “
You’re
confused? Jesus, Jack, I just had some profound existential crisis over a pair of tongs. I love who we are, I love our lives, and what you plan on doing with the shelter, that is an excellent idea, way past wonderful, but I want to make sure we have
us
-time. I’ve spent so much time with work….”
The last two weeks since their middle-of-the-night visit to Mercy had flown by. Jack didn’t begrudge the time with family or with work, but Riley was right. Between Eden, work, and the kids, he and Riley really didn’t appear to have as much time together as either of them wanted.
Jack considered what Riley had told him in his convoluted way, and decided the direct approach was for the best here. “So, what you’re saying is that you miss me dragging you to the barn and pushing you to the edge so many times that you beg?”
Silence. Riley said nothing. He very deliberately pressed the heel of his hand on his groin. “Fuck, Jack, you can’t say things like that.”
In a smooth move, Jack had Riley flat on his back on the bed, and straddled him, his knees pinning Riley’s arms. He kissed him as thoroughly as he could, all heat and passion and need, until neither of them could breathe steadily.
“Later,” Jack promised.
“Ouch,” Riley replied.
That wasn’t the teasing reaction Jack had been expecting, but he scrambled off. Had he hurt Riley? When Riley moved a little and pulled out the tongs from where they’d been digging in his back, Jack couldn’t help the snort of laughter. Riley’s expression was comically dejected for a moment, then he joined in the laughter.
Jack held out a hand. “Let’s go, big guy. Me ’n’ Josh have burgers to burn.”
By the time they made it back outside, more family had arrived. Josh was there with Anna and the kids. Logan, with that typical bored-teenager expression, slumped on the porch stairs with his phone in his hands. Sarah and Lea were already helping to set out chairs under the shelter of a gazebo. Anna looked well, her hand protectively on her belly as she supervised chair placement, and Josh hovered by the barbecue, pointedly looking at his watch.
“Won’t start itself,” he warned Jack as soon as he was in hailing distance.
“Hold yer horses,” Jack drawled.
Josh rattled the metal and the whole top slid a little. “Didn’t fix it, then.”
Jack leaned past him and locked the final clip in place. “There,” he said. “Done.”
They set about lighting charcoal, and finally they had some heat going. Riley moved away with Hayley, animatedly discussing something that involved a lot of expansive arm waving. Jack smiled at his husband. The promise of alone time tonight was exactly what both needed.
“Can we talk a minute?” Josh asked seriously, interrupting Jack’s gradually more sex-connected thoughts. He’d waited until the barbecue was underway and before the meat, so Jack assessed it was something important but not life-threatening, in that casual way only the Campbell brothers could. Still, Anna was first in his thoughts.
“Yeah. Is Anna okay?”
“Oh yeah, of course. She’s doing really well. It’s Logan.” Josh inclined his head over to where Logan still slouched. Hayley and Lea sat with him, their heads bowed over an exercise book of some sort. Logan wasn’t talking to them, and Hayley wasn’t paying him any attention. Logan had a complete fuck-off air around him, not inviting conversation or remark.
“What about him?” Various scenarios slid into Jack’s thoughts unbidden.
Girlfriend trouble?
“He’s not himself,” Josh summarized. “I don’t know what’s going on with him, but he’s gone way past moody teenager to the idiot I want to lock in an attic until he turns twenty-one.”
“We all went through that,” Jack said with a shrug. “I recall that summer you dyed your hair blue-black, sat on the roof above your room, and wrote poetry.”
“It was song lyrics, asshole.”
“I call poetry.”
Josh shoved him, and he shoved back because hell, that was how they rolled.
“Not as bad as the summer you decided you wanted to be an astronaut—” Josh began.
Jack threatened him with the knife he’d been cutting the steaks with. “We do not speak of the summer of ’89.”
Josh grinned, then shook his head. “It’s different to the kinds of shit we got into.”
“You want me to talk to him?” Jack and Logan had always got on, and Logan loved horses. Jack connected well with anyone who loved animals.
Josh nodded. “I think I took my eye off the ball with him. What with Anna an’ all.”
“These things happen.”
“Well, I appreciate it.”
Jack couldn’t resist tagging on a proviso. After all, he didn’t want Riley to find out that he’d worn a tin hat indoors and spoken like a robot for his entire seventh summer. Well, not from Josh anyway. “On the understanding we don’t mention
that
summer.”
Josh raised a single eyebrow. “That’s, like, my last blackmailing chip.”
“Your choice. You want me to be Uncle of the Year, we never mention the tin hat.” Jack started to laugh, he couldn’t help himself—the look on Josh’s face was comical. He bumped shoulders with Josh, then poked the coals. They were white now; time for meat.
Riley sauntered over with beers in one hand and Connor tucked in the other. “Thought he should be one of the boys.” Connor babbled something, twisted tiny fingers into Riley’s hair, and yanked. “Yep, see. He didn’t want no girly hair shit they got going on.” Riley deliberately roughened his words and slurred them a little, which had Josh and Jack staring at him like he’d lost his mind.
It led to more laughing. Which was
definitely
how they rolled.
Luckily Beth and Steve turned up at that moment, and Riley was distracted by the arrival. Emily immediately ran over to Sarah, who was now with Lea and Hayley, and Steve lifted Cam out of his car seat. Steve and Cam joined the others at the barbecue.
“This the guys’ area? Cam here is looking for beer.”
Riley and Steve exchanged parenting nightmares, people ate steak, and at one point Max sat on the steps of the porch next to Logan. He didn’t stay long; Jack gave him some steak in one bowl and salad in another. Max had taken to refusing food if it was mixed together. Although somehow salad with dressing seemed to be on the okay list. Carol took Max back inside; apparently they had
important things to do
. Jack resolved to encourage Max back outside as soon as it grew dark. Max was less anxious in the dark, and Riley had suggested it was because he assumed people couldn’t see him. Jack wasn’t entirely sure that was the reason, but he did agree the idea was probably on the right track. Low light was probably kinder on Max’s brain, but who knew what was in Max’s head? Riley caught Jack staring and leaned in. Connor reached out and patted Jack’s face.
“Everything okay?” Riley asked.
“Yeah. Thinking we should get Max to come out later.”
Riley nodded. “I’ll go in and see him for a bit now.”
Jack watched as Riley left, gathering Lexie in his free arm from Eden and walking into the house. He stopped and chatted to Logan, who at least answered back, if not animatedly. Seemed to Jack that Logan had the whole emo-kid thing going on, but that was not like him. Who was Jack to say what Logan should or shouldn’t be doing? At Logan’s age, Jack was trying to run the Double D and had spent every waking minute living and breathing the survival of the ranch.
The coals were cooling, the cooking done, and Robbie and Eli joined them with more beer. Liam sat with them, anxiously checking his phone. Marcus was probably going to be here at any time. The only people missing were Darren and Vaughn, who had gone down to Laredo to sign final papers on the full sale of the Bar Five. Now was as good a time as any to have a quiet chat with Logan. Jack grabbed a beer and made his way over in the least suspicious way he could. Which, for Jack, was sauntering and pretending to look at anywhere but at the steps and Logan.
He finally made it. “This seat taken?”
Logan glanced up at him, pointedly looked at the empty seats out under the gazebo, then with a heavy sigh, he nodded his assent.
“How’s school?” Jack went straight in there. With hindsight, he wished he’d asked about the food, the weather, the Cowboys, horses… anything, really. Because what had started out with good intentions immediately morphed into Logan pursing his lips and hiding behind his long bangs.
“It’s fine,” he snapped. Then he stood. “I need a drink.”
And with that he left, not toward the buckets of water and ice that held cans of soft drinks, but over toward the cars, before disappearing around the corner, talking on his phone.
“That went well,” Beth said as she sat next to Jack.
“Josh asked me to try talking to him. Didn’t go the way I’d hoped.”
“He asked me. I tried when he was in the kitchen. He mumbled something about exams and disappeared.”
The fact that Josh asked Beth didn’t surprise Jack. Logan worshiped her, always had done, but to hear he’d shut Beth down was worrying.
“And he didn’t say anything else?”
“Not that I could make out.”
“I’ll try to talk to him again.”
But Connor was fractious, cutting a tooth, and Sarah complained of feeling sick. So, with Connor on his mind and worrying about poor little Sarah, Jack never got to talk to Logan.
CHAPTER TEN
Everyone left by ten, and Riley helped clear up whatever was left of the barbecue, before slumping dramatically on the porch swing. The swing moved, and he gently pushed with his toe to enjoy the late evening. Jack chose his moment and sat next to him, and they exchanged news about Logan, Josh, and Eden. They sat until it turned midnight, the ranch was quiet and there was darkness everywhere.
By unspoken agreement they crossed to the barn.
Their
barn. Jack unlocked the door and locked it behind them.