Authors: RJ Scott
"I told you. He was sitting against the tree and he just passed out." Robbie's voice. All concerned and gruff. "So I put him over the horse and bought him back."
"Should we get a doctor?" Jack asked.
"I don't know who his doctor is," Riley put his two cents worth in. "He may not even have one here. He was in LA for a long time."
No doctors. Please.
"Is his assistant woman still here?"
"No, they all left. We should get his cell."
"It's not in his pocket."
"Maybe we should phone the doc now. You don't just pass out like that—"
"It was hot," Robbie interrupted. "Maybe it's just dehydration."
"Robbie, he's not been well." Riley sounded so damn worried.
Eli didn't want to worry anyone.
I'm fine.
His tongue felt too big for his mouth and there was a gritty sandiness in his eyes as he forced them to open.
Still dark.
"Is he still taking any medication?" Jack again.
"I don't know." Riley sounded pissed.
"I'll go." Robbie offered immediately.
"Idiot never told me he was gonna keel over. I assumed when he said remission that he meant he was well. Someone should check his room."
No!
"Wait. He's opening his eyes. Eli? Can you hear me? Eli? Eli?"
"Outamyfacefucker," Eli grumped at Riley. Damn man was hovering around him. Riley moved back.
"Do you need a doctor?" his friend asked.
"No. Water, sleep," Eli said. Between the three of them they managed to get Eli stripped to boxers and into his bed. Riley left and then Jack and finally as exhaustion pulled Eli under to a place where he could heal, he saw Robbie staring at him.
There was fear in the cowboy's eyes. Fear and shock. One single word had caused that. One word that haunted Eli every waking hour of his life.
Remission.
Lauren was pacing and Riley even felt a little sorry for Eli. The man looked suitably chastised and was listening quietly to his assistant sounding off. Turns out she was less business partner and more close friend.
"They've given us an extension. But they said they'll be needing their deposit back if you don't come up with something. We can handle losing the money but your reputation,
our
reputation, will be for shit."
Lauren interrupted. "Then you go and do some damn fool thing that leaves you unconscious in the dirt in the sun."
"He was in the shade," Riley offered helpfully. Lauren narrowed her gaze at him and Riley took a step back. That this itty-bitty woman who probably didn't top five-four was facing him down was a little bit of a culture shock. Reminded him of Donna actually.
"Dumb luck that you were. We organized this shoot so we could make everything easy for you—"
"Yeah," Eli said. "Too easy. All those models in their briefs draped over wood was like every single damn cliché in the book." He sounded grumpy but then Riley had experienced being laid up after he was in the fire and it sucked big time. He didn't begrudge Eli the small bit of angsting and whining that was seeing him through the day.
"What did the doctor say?" Lauren asked.
Eli threw his hands up in the air in a gesture of disbelief. "Now she asks. For your information I have a virus of some sort."
"Probably the same thing that had Hayley in bed last week," Riley said carefully.
"Yes. See? There's no cancer or anything."
Lauren's face crumpled. All the blustering and demanding dissolved in silent tears. Eli held out his hand. Riley watched with a lump in his throat as the two hugged and Eli was whispering he was okay, and Lauren was saying, "Don't go". They were like that for a while and finally Riley felt way too uncomfortable and went to find Jack. Anything for a break from yet more paperwork on the admin for the bids. He found his husband working with Daisy, who had perked up considerably. He loved watching Jack, the sinuous movements of horse and rider and the literal poetry in movement as Jack controlled Daisy.
"They're looking good out there."
Riley recognized Robbie's voice and turned to acknowledge him with a smile. He liked the guy. If they cut him in half he would have cowboy through the middle— just like Jack. Straightforward and down to earth, what you saw was what you got.
"Lauren's leaving in a bit if you want to go in and visit with Eli," Riley offered.
Robbie twisted his lips in a parody of a smile. "Not sure he'd want to see me."
"He asks after you every other word. Are you okay, what are you doing, are you freaked out?"
"I'm not freaked out."
"He seems to think you are."
Robbie was silent for a moment. "Cancer is a big thing."
"Remission is a big thing as well."
Robbie shrugged and focused back on Jack, who was working through the cool down.
"He's my friend, Robbie, and he's bored and worried and a million other things. Just for me, go and say hi?" Riley was unashamedly playing the husband-of-the-boss angle, and he added a smile as punctuation.
Robbie looked at him and then shook his head. Riley assumed the man was aware he was being manipulated but evidently wasn't going to call Riley on his bullshit.
"I will when I'm done seeing to Catty."
As he left, Jack walked Daisy over to Riley.
"You finished with paperwork?" He leaned over to kiss Riley and he tasted of fresh air and sweat and Jack.
"I was with Eli but his assistant turned up with the news he has to pull his finger out and come up with a new spread. Oh, and that she loves him." Jack raised his eyebrows. Riley laughed. "In a purely sister-brother type way. She said if he ever tries to die on her again she will kill him."
"Ouch," Jack said. He smirked. "Serves him right for whatever he was doing under the tree with Robbie."
"You think they were doing something?"
Jack stole another kiss.
"They say opposites attract. Hell, look at us."
"Meet you in the barn?"
"I need a shower, Riley."
Riley looked at his lover, sweaty and exhausted.
"Put your horse away, cowboy. Sweat or not, I want you in the barn in twenty."
Riley smirked as Jack pressed against his fly. "Jeez, Riley. Way to get me hard."
Riley turned on his heel and looked back over his shoulder as he walked away. "Twenty. I'll be waiting, spread naked over a stall door and ready to go."
As he passed the horse barn he looked in and saw Robbie rubbing down Catty. He was intensely focused on his task but clearly saw Riley out of the corner of his eye.
"Do you think you can help Jack with Daisy?" Riley asked.
"No worries." Robbie nodded.
Riley entered the cool interior of their barn and looked around. He felt peace here. This was where he fell in love, on this land, in this place, and here was home. Smiling, he opened their box. He had prep to do. Paperwork could wait.
Robbie stood silently at the door of Eli's room. Lauren had just left and although propped up in bed Eli had his eyes shut. Robbie bent his head briefly and considered whether he should announce he stood there in the doorway.
"You can come in," Eli said. "No sense in talking from the door."
Removing his hat and ruffling his hair, Robbie wondered if he should have stopped and had a shower first. He smelled like horse.
"How you doing?"
"I'm fine. I just sometimes do stupid shit that I shouldn't."
"How often?"
"What?"
"How often do you do stupid shit?"
Eli seemed confused by the question and then his face brightened. "Since the cancer? Twice. Once with champagne when I got the all clear. Expensive stuff, mind you. And once with you under the tree when you made me come in my jeans."
Robbie wondered briefly how to answer that one.
"Outside your jeans," he finally said. "Thank God. It was on my hands so I wiped it off and when we stripped you to your boxers no one knew."
"Thank you."
"For what? Bringing you back like a sack of potatoes on Catty's back? Or for making you come in your pants?"
"Both. Either." Eli shrugged. "So. Remission. You know about the cancer. Come and sit down so we can talk." He gestured to the chair by his bed but it was too close to Eli for comfort.
"I'm fine standing," Robbie said.
The way Eli's face changed, from hopeful to broken in an instant was one of the worst things Robbie had ever seen.
"It's not catching," Eli snapped.
Robbie stiffened. That was the first hint of temper he had ever heard from Eli. He didn't mean to make Eli angry. It's just that if he sat that close he would want to touch Eli and he wasn't sure the man would want that.
"I know that," he snapped back.
Eli shook his head at the response.
"You don't want to sit here near me then I tend to take these things personally. People don't want to sit with me, look at me, talk to me." He shrugged.
Robbie went with his gut feeling at these words and sat on the chair. He shuffled uncomfortably. What do you say to a man who was ill? Eli didn't give him a chance to say a single thing.
"I'm cancer free, you know. I'm in remission. I've been clear for a long time, nearly three years, so it's statistically unlikely that the cancer will return. Yes it was hard, no I don't think about it a lot, and no it doesn't affect my need to fuck or be fucked on a regular basis." There was that temper again. Sparking and hissing and spitting its way into the self-deprecation and sarcasm. "Now you can sit here and we can talk about where we go from here and what we want from each other or you can go so we don't start anything we can't finish."
"You can't dump all this on me and expect me to know all the answers. That isn't fair."
"Life isn't fair." Eli slumped back on his pillow. He looked better but still tired.
"You don't get it; hell, why would you, it's not like I've told you why I left Australia in the first place."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"I already lost one lover who died, and fuck, it nearly killed me. No point in starting anything only to have it end. Imagine what it would feel like to lose someone again." Robbie blurted the whole sentence out before he realized what exactly he had admitted.
Eli didn't call him on it. He just nodded. "So tell me about him," Eli said. His words weren't an order, more a plea.
"Paul? He was a cowboy, a buckaroo like me, and more than a good friend. Lots of lonely time on a station as big as we had, and we were both gay so we used some of that downtime and broke a little tension. Thing is, I fell in love and so did Paul, we even made plans for the future. Took this new guy, a big hulking brainless idiot, who decided fag was a word that suited Paul and me. I let it slide, Paul didn't. He always was a hotheaded guy. One lucky punch and Paul was on the floor. He never woke up. Had some kind of embolism that killed him fast inside. This was two years ago October and I tried to stick it out over there. Too many memories. I stayed for the trial when it finally happened. Then I left."
"I'm sorry."
"It's been a while now." Robbie wasn't entirely sure what else to say. That really was the whole sorry story, and enough to have him leaving the station and find his way home.
"Two years isn't long, you know," Eli stated simply.
"It's long enough. So, tell me your story."
Eli looked happy for Robbie to change the direction of conversation—he clearly didn't want to talk about Paul.
"I'd just been kicked out of college when I got sick. Just really tired and then I keeled over and had these blood tests, and it all kind of escalated from there. Kidney cancer. I was one of the lucky ones—I haven't lost an entire kidney and after treatment I was told everything looked good. Before cancer I was a bit lost, and a whole lot of a slacker. Plenty of ideas and opinions but no thought of acting on any of them. Except, of course, calling Riley Hayes a fucking asshole to his face and losing the only real friend I freaking had outside of my misfit excuse for a family."
"Riley?"
"That's a story for another day. The big C hits with a hammer and suddenly you are told if the next session of meds doesn't cure you then you have maybe six months to live. Amazing the shit you want to do when you only have six months left."
"Climbing mountains, spending all your money?" Robbie was attempting to lighten the tension but Eli simply shook his head.
"All I wanted to do was find someone who cared if I died."
That floored Robbie and he had no words to use. Instead something twisted in his chest. He
had
cared when Paul died. Cared enough to stay alive and leave. Was it possible there was room in his heart for someone else to care about?
Robbie hesitated momentarily then he forcibly relaxed every muscle until he sat comfortably on the hard wooden chair.
"So I guess we should talk more," he said. "You can tell me all about nearly dying and I can tell you about what it's like to be the one left behind."
"Then can we have sex?"
Robbie laughed loudly at the look of hope on Eli's face. "Maybe we could try dinner first until I'm sure you're not going to pass out on me every time you shoot in your pants," he said.
"Asshole."
"What are you wearing?" Jack asked. He couldn't keep the horror out of his voice. Riley was distracted by checking e-mails on his cell and didn't immediately answer. "Seriously, Riley. What. The. Fuck?"
"What?" Riley looked up from the screen and blinked at Jack.
"Wearing?" Jack repeated.
Riley looked down at his jeans and boots and then back up at Jack.
"Jeans," Riley said. "You're wearing jeans. What's wrong with my jeans?"
Jack didn't know where to start. Riley's jeans probably cost a rodeo purse but yeah, he was wearing jeans. That wasn't the problem. Jack was indeed wearing jeans. Riley was also wearing a similar belt buckle to Jack. That is where all similarities ended. Jack was wearing a T-shirt and a western-style button-down in varying shades of blue and red. Riley was wearing a thin black T and a jacket.
That was the problem. The damn jacket was white, well, off-white, cream possibly. Hell, Jack didn't know, he wasn't a freaking clotheshorse like Riley was.
"You're wearing white to a rodeo."
Riley cast another look down and then slipped his cell in his pocket and realigned the jacket.
"It's a nice jacket," he defended. "It's Hugo Boss."
"It's white."
"It's off-white—"
"Riley. We're going to a rodeo—"
"A gay rodeo," Riley interrupted and emphasized the word 'gay' with air quotes. "You think the guys there are gonna turn up in range stuff with shit on their sleeves? I want to look good."
Jack held up his hands in defeat. "Have you actually ever been to a rodeo before, het-boy?" If Riley had, then he would know about the dust and dirt and the air ripe with curse words. A fashion show it wasn't.
"You know I haven't," Riley answered.
"Is it an expensive jacket?"
Riley didn't get a chance to answer as Hayley sashayed into the room holding Eden's hand and grinning. She was a miniature Jack, right up to a child's Stetson on her head, and Jack felt some satisfaction that their daughter had actually listened to him. Sean was a few steps behind Eden, and Jack could feel the focus shift immediately in Riley.
"Sean," Riley said carefully.
"Riley." Sean tipped his hat and then stood quietly.
Trouble was brewing between the two men—even a complete stranger could see that. It seemed to Jack that Riley had a point when he said Sean was messing with Eden. Still, Eden was in love and appeared happy.
"Momma's out front," Eden said. She was skilled at breaking up these Riley/Sean face-offs and all too soon they were all outside the ranch house and clambering into cars.
"You sure you're going to be okay?" Jack asked Robbie as he stood to wave everyone off.
"Eli's still sleepin' and I'll be working Daisy and Catty."
"If you wanted to go—"
"No. I don't."
Jack didn't argue. Robbie seemed happy on the Double D and very rarely left, even on his downtime. Still, he and Eli were spending a lot of time together, heads down and talking. Talking was good—it was way more than he and Riley had done when they first met. He guessed murders and fires and pregnancies kind of took the peace out of a new relationship.
"Jack?" Eden called.
With a nod to Robbie he took his seat in the brandnew 4x4 Riley had brought home a few weeks before. His Ferrari had long since gone and Jack didn't want to admit how much he missed that spitting, snarling dream of a car. When Riley nearly broke an axle coming down to the ranch in the dark it had to go. He seemed happy with the new car; top of the line, it did everything, except train the horses. Hell, it even spoke to you—all kinds of shit about the weather and business. Thankfully Riley had dulled the annoying voice to a gentle insistent background noise and instead seemed intent on increasing the discomfort between himself and Sean.
"So how was Afghanistan, Sean?" he said.
Jack sighed inwardly. Even for Riley that was a provocative question.
"Messy," Sean replied quietly. "A lot of good men dying on foreign soil."
"I imagine you've seen a lot," Riley continued. "Why do you need to keep going out there? Why don't you go back to writing books about horses?"
"Riley," Jack warned under his breath. Still his husband continued. Idiot needed a gag. And damn if the thought of that didn't make Jack hard. Jeez, it was like Riley was wired to his dick or something.
"I've seen too much. We all have there."
"So why go then?"
"I'm a journalist at heart, I go where the stories are," Sean replied. Such a simple answer but Riley had to be blind not to hear the tension in Sean's voice.
"Riley, how did it go with your bid?" Eden interrupted.
Thank God for little sisters who decided their big brothers needed cutting off at the source. Of course mentioning CH and its work was exactly the right thing to say. Riley could talk for hours on that subject.
Peace reigned for the journey after that. Especially when Hayley began chatting about her friend at school who had just got a new sister.
"I sometimes wish I could have a sister," Hayley said softly to Eden. Jack only heard because the reporter on the radio had just had a small moment of blissful silence.
"You would?" Eden asked.
Jack wanted to turn in his seat and look directly at his sister-in-law. He didn't. Instead he glanced at Riley who was concentrating on joining the freeway and apparently hadn't heard a thing.
"Sometimes." Hayley's voice was wistful and its effect twisted in his gut.
Jack looked out of his window and caught sight of his face in the wing mirror. He was turning thirty-two next March and the signs of working outside and his age were starting to show on his face. Thirty-two wasn't old but if he and Riley were to think about adding to their small family it probably needed to be soon. Didn't matter how much money Riley had—these things took time.
"You do realize, Ri, your jacket is going to last three minutes," Eden said.
Jack didn't think he had ever laughed as hard as he did when Riley simply huffed his response.