That Touch of Magic (21 page)

“No.” He put his arms around me. “That’s not how it was.”

“It’s okay, really.” I pushed back from him so I could face him. “It’s like what you said when you first came back. I’m hard to reach when I’m mad.” I took in a stuttering breath, remembering how calmly I had taken that when he’d said it, and how many times it had repeated in my head since.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s just who I am,” I said, the words coming in bursts over hard sobs. “It’s … really … okay. I’ve … accepted … it…”

“Stop it.”

I felt a shock when his hands clamped down on either side of my face, turning me to look at him, even though it was too dark and my eyes too full of tears for me to really see him. I could feel his breath coming in hot puffs on my face, though, and I could feel the heat coming from his hands.

“You’re spinning, and it’s all bullshit, and you need to stop,” he said. “There’s no smoke on your hands. This isn’t helping you control the magic. It’s not doing you any good, and you won’t listen to me telling you you’re wrong, so stop. Please, stop.”

I felt the whine escape from deep inside, coming out like the whistle of a teakettle, releasing the steam that had built up there for so long, and I collapsed against Leo’s chest, sobbing. He pulled me into his lap and held me to him, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried all over him.

“It’s not true,” he said. “None of it’s true. Please tell me that somewhere inside, you know that.”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I just held on to him while he smoothed my hair and rubbed my back, until I finally fell into darkness, cradled and safe in his arms.

Chapter 12

I woke up the next morning to the sound of birds, and the feel of a soft breeze on my skin. I was on my side, my back shielded by Leo, who spooned me from behind, one arm draped around my waist in sleep. I felt the heat of his hand on my lower stomach, the pressure of his morning erection against my backside, and tiny ripples of desire coursed within me.

I opened my eyes, saw the daylight, and sighed. Best to save the science for later. Besides, a morning erection was just biology. It didn’t mean anything other than that Leo was a normal guy waking up next to a girl. Or, you know, just a normal guy waking up.

I shifted under his arm and put a little space between us, watching his face as he drifted from sleep into consciousness. He opened his eyes a little, smiled, and pulled me closer to him, nuzzling his nose into my neck.

“Good morning,” he said.

I lay stiffly on my back, staring up at the morning sky as the ripples in my stomach became crashing waves. I considered for a moment the luscious possibility of rolling over on top of him and taking full advantage of his morning condition, but at the same time that the idea warmed me in all the right places, it also scared me, and I wasn’t ready to face that fear.

“It’s time to get up,” I said. “I have to check on my mother.”

Leo groaned and flipped onto his back as well. “Why’d you have to bring her into it?”

I sat up. “I also have to flip Desmond over and see what’s crawling underneath.”

He opened one eye. “Your mother
and
Desmond?” He reached down and adjusted the crotch of his jeans. “Yeah, that pretty much takes care of that.”

“Should I mention that Nick is probably on a nude beach in Spain right now?”

Leo laughed. “Now you’re just being mean.” He caught my eye and his smile faded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean … you’re not…”

“Oh, dear God, are you going to tiptoe around my tender feelings now? Because if you start with that shit, seriously, I’m gonna hit you in the head with a shovel and bury you out back where no one will ever find you.”

Something in his eyes cooled, and he looked almost disappointed. “Nope. Not gonna start with that shit.”

“Good.” I stood up, yanking my jeans up on my waist and pulling my shirt down. “I’m gonna go take a shower and wash off the gross. If you want, you can do the same and then I figure, we’ll leave about…” I glanced at my watch. “Ten-ish?”

He sat up and rested his arms on his knees. “You’re inviting me to go with you?”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Unless you’ve got something better to do.”

“No,” he said, smiling. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

I crossed my arms over my middle, feeling a rush of comfortable antagonism. “What are you smiling about?”

He gave a snort of laughter, then got up and shook out the sleeping bag. “Nothing.”

I picked the coffee mugs up off the ground as he folded the sleeping bag and started to roll it up. “What?”

“Nothing. I just thought you were going to argue with me.”

“About what?”

“About me going with you today.”

“I don’t care if you go with me today,” I said. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Then, fine. What’s the problem?”

“There is no problem.” He huffed in frustration. “I was just a little surprised that the morning was starting without a fight, and now somehow, it’s a fight. You’re like a Jedi Master.”

I laughed in mock offense, enjoying the feel of being on familiar ground again. “I see we’re done tiptoeing around my tender feelings.”

“Yeah, we’re done.” He shook his head, laughed again, and tucked the rolled sleeping bag under his arm. With his other arm, he motioned toward the ’Bago. “Ladies first.”

“You’re such a baby,” I said, starting toward the front door of the ’Bago. “That wasn’t even a fight.”

“Mmm-hmmm,” he said, noncommittally.

“I’m serious. If that was a fight, I would have bounced this coffee mug off your cranium.”

“Okay.”

I stepped up on the cement stoop, then turned to face him. “I’m a dangerous woman, you know. You shouldn’t push me.”

He stepped up onto the cement block below where I was standing, his body close enough for me to feel the heat coming from him, and the warm ripples inside me began to work their way ever downward.

“Maybe
you
shouldn’t push
me,
” he said, his voice quiet. “I may have been a man of God once, Stacy, but I’m still a man.”

One side of his face quirked in a smile, but the heat in his eyes was serious. I swallowed, gripping the coffee mugs tight to keep my hands from doing what they desperately wanted to do.

“Save it for after dark, Science Boy.” I dumped the coffee mugs into my tiny sink, pulled the curtain that separated my bed from the rest of the place, and fell backward onto it. I closed my eyes and thought of my big, bald brother running around naked on a beach full of fat, old Spanish nudists. Five minutes later, I hopped in the shower, turned the water on cold, and turned my focus to the tasks at hand.

It helped, but not a lot.

*   *   *

It wasn’t like the last time I was at my mother’s house. There weren’t as many parking spaces on the street as usual, but I didn’t have to park three blocks away, either. Things seemed to be calming down, at least a little. When Leo and I stepped out of my car, I noticed that one of the parked cars had Pennsylvania plates, and for some reason, it made me tense. It really shouldn’t have. The Pennsylvania border was twenty minutes from Nodaway; you saw those plates all the time, but they were always in town, dropping by for waffles or antiques on their way to somewhere else. Not typically in my mother’s residential neighborhood.

“You all right?” Leo asked, taking my elbow naturally as we headed across the street to my mother’s house.

“Yeah, I’ve just got a really bad feeling, and I’m not sure why.”

“You’re going to visit Lillith Easter. That would make anyone tense.”

“You’ve got a point there.” We hit the sidewalk in front of my mother’s house and I stopped and turned to Leo. “She’s been really weird since all this started. Prepare yourself.”

He smiled. “I’ve known your mother since I was five years old. I don’t think there’s much she can do that will surprise me.”

“Leo North!”

The Widow stood on the porch steps, wearing a flowing floral dress, hair falling freely around her shoulders, her arms spread out wide to embrace Leo.

Leo gave me a wide-eyed, slightly freaked look.

“Hey, I warned you,” I said, and we started toward the house. The Widow met us halfway up the walk and pulled Leo in for a tight, and what appeared to be warm-ish, hug.

“Leo North!” She pulled back, kissed him on the cheek, and laughed. “I thought you’d gone home! So wonderful to see you!”

“Hi, Mrs. Easter,” Leo said awkwardly.

Then, she turned on me.

“Stacy, darling!” Another hug. I’d been prepared for how sweet she acted when she was under the influence of narcissistic supply, but still. This was starting to get creepy.

She pulled back from me, her face beaming. “It’s so good to see you again, sweetheart. Come in, come in, there’s iced tea in the fridge!”

We followed her up the walkway, and that was when I noticed the woman sitting in the rocker on the porch. She looked to be in her mid-forties, hair graying and cut into a wavy bob, wearing a blue floral dress that looked like she’d made it herself. As we started up the steps, she pushed up from her chair. I was about to hold my hand out and introduce myself when she knelt and lowered her head.

“It’s so wonderful to see you both,” the Widow said, not looking at the woman even as she held her hand out to her. “We have so much to catch up on!”

The woman kissed my mother’s knuckles and remained on her knees, head lowered, as we walked past. I stared, rude but unable to stop myself, almost stumbling as my mother grabbed my hand and pulled me inside after her.

“What the hell was that?” I whispered as the Widow shut the front door behind us.

“What, darling?” my mother said, her face blank.

“The crazy person on the porch who kissed your hand.” I looked at Leo. “Just me?”

He shook his head slowly, eyes wide. “Nope. Not just you.”

“Oh, that!” The Widow waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It’s just the adoration.”

I almost choked. “The
what
?”

“You know, like at church, how we all sign up when the Eucharist is out so someone is there adoring it every hour of the day? They’re doing that for me.”

“Eugh,”
I said. My mother gave me a stark look, and I held up my hands. “Sorry, Widow, but isn’t that sacrilegious or something?”

“Of course not,” she said. “I’m a miracle, and this is Tinsey’s hour to witness the miracle.”

“She knelt and kissed your hand,” I said. “That’s just … wrong.” I nudged Leo. “Tell her, Leo. You were almost a priest.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stay out of this one,” he said under his breath.

“See? I told you it was fine.” The Widow made a dismissive gesture at me and then smiled at Leo. “Tinsey came all the way in from Erie just to see me! Can you believe it?”

“Erie,” I said to Leo.

“Eerie,” he said back.

The Widow glanced at her watch. “Although I thought she was being replaced at ten. Maybe she’s pulling a double.” She shrugged. “It is a bit of a distance for her. Oh, well. Iced tea?”

“I can’t believe you think a twenty-four-hour adoration is okay,” I said as we followed the Widow to the kitchen. The table was covered with baskets and tins and unlit candles. I grabbed Leo’s hand and he squeezed mine back, and we sat down in unison.

“Well, it was hardly
my
idea,” she said, but the huge grin on her face said it was absolutely her idea. She turned to face me with the pitcher. “Lemon? Sugar?”

“Bitter and bland is fine,” I said.

She began to pour. “Leo?”

Leo kept his eyes on her, his brow crinkling as he watched her, looking like a geologist watching a rock suddenly defy the law of gravity: fascinated, but even more disturbed. “Yeah … that’s fine. Thank you.”

She poured the drinks and sat down at the table, sliding her chair to our side so she could see us over the pile of offerings. There was a long silence during which she looked at us expectantly, and I’ll be damned if she didn’t have her kissing hand ready and in position, just in case.

“It is just so good to see you again, Leo,” she said finally, turning her focus on him. “I heard you left the priesthood, and I want you to put your mind at ease; you are forgiven.”

Leo stared at her blankly for a moment. “Thank … you?”

“Well, you were practically my son. Your mother abandoned you to your father when you were so young, and from the day Nicky brought you home from kindergarten, you were here more than you were home.”

“Oh,” Leo said, seeming to understand.

“What?” I looked from the Widow to Leo, then back to the Widow. “What?”

Leo leaned closer to me, not taking his eyes off the Widow. “When a child becomes a nun or a priest, there is a belief that it gets the parents into Heaven, no matter what.”

“Not a belief,” the Widow said earnestly. “It
does
get them into Heaven. No matter what. I could rob a drugstore if I wanted to.”

“Yeah, except he’s not your son, Widow,” I said.

She ignored me, focusing on Leo. “And when you left the church, you took that away from me.” And there it was, that tiny, familiar glitter of meanness in her eyes.

“Ohhhh, there she is,” Leo said, seeing it.

I patted his arm. “She never left, she was just in hiding.”

“I get it.” He smiled at the Widow. “Good to see you again, Lillith.”

She raised her brow and said, “Are you two quite done with your comedy routine?”

“I think so.” I gave my mother a gracious wave of permission. “Continue.”

She gave me a disapproving look, then turned her attention to Leo and smiled with magnanimity. “As I was saying, I forgive you. God saw that you had stolen that precious gift away from me, but He gave me another way in.”

“Yeah, what way is that?” I asked, but again, she ignored me, keeping her focus on Leo.

“I was sorry to hear about your defection—” she began.

“Well, I never actually became a—”

The Widow spoke louder over him. “—but if God has other plans for you, then sometimes you just have to follow your heart to find them. That’s where God lives.” She tapped her chest twice, then cut a quick look at me before returning her gaze to Leo. “It was your …
heart …
you were following, right?”