The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
Read The 1-2-3 Magic Workbook for Christian Parents: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 Online
Authors: Thomas W. Phelan,Chris Webb
Tags: #Family & Relationships, #Parenting, #General
1-2-3 Magic
Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
Third Edition
Other Materials by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.
Available from ParentMagic, Inc.
1-2-3 Magic
Managing Difficult Behavior in Children 2-12
Video and DVD
More 1-2-3 Magic
Encouraging Good Behavior, Independence and Self-Esteem
Video and DVD
1-2-3 Magic
Videos and Book also available in Spanish
Surviving Your Adolescents
How to Manage—and
Let Go Of—
Your 13-18 Year Olds
Book, Video, DVD and Audio
Self-Esteem Revolutions in Children
Understanding and Managing the Critical Transitions
in Your Child’s Life
Book and Audio
All About Attention Deficit Disorder
Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment:
Children and Adults
Book, Video, DVD and Audio
Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
Essential Information for ADD Adults
Video
“I Never Get ANYTHING!”
How to Keep Your Kids from
Running Your Life
Book
To order:
call 1-800-442-4453
or visit www.parentmagic.com
1-2-3 Magic
Third Edition
Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.
ParentMagic, Inc.
Glen Ellyn, Illinois
Copyright © 2003, ParentMagic, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book
may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or
mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage
and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Any
resemblance between persons described in this book and actual persons, living
or dead, is unintentional. This book is not intended to replace appropriate
diagnosis and/or treatment, when indicated, by a qualified mental health
professional or physician.
Illustrations by Dan Farrell
Distributed by Independent Publishers Group
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4
For more information, contact:
ParentMagic, Inc.
800 Roosevelt Road
Glen Ellyn, Illinois 60137
to Eileen
Contents
Parenting: Not for the Faint of Heart!
2. Stop Behavior and Start Behavior
3. The Little Adult Assumption
4. The Two Biggest Discipline Mistakes
PART II: CONTROLLING OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR
5. Counting Obnoxious Behavior
8. Variations: Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums
PART III: NO CHILD WILL THANK YOU
PART IV: ENCOURAGING GOOD BEHAVIOR
15. Cleaning Rooms, Picking Up
18. Bedtime and Nighttime Waking
PART V: STRENGTHENING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
24. Real Magic: One-on-One Fun
Preface to the Third Edition
The very first
1-2-3 Magic
seminar took place at a local Holiday Inn
on a cold April day in 1984. It was at ended by twenty-eight parents.
Since that day I have personally presented
1-2-3 Magic
to hundreds of thou-
sands of parents, teachers, teacher aides, school administrators, grandparents,
camp counselors, therapists, mental health professionals and pediatricians.
Other presenters have conducted 1-2-3 workshops for thousands more
throughout the world. As of today our book and video sales have crossed
the three-quarter-million mark. We now have a Leader Guide, audiobooks
and Spanish books and videos, and in a few months our newest book,
1-2-3
Magic for Teachers
, will appear on bookstore shelves.
The reasons for the success of
1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline
for Children 2-12
are simple. The program is easy to learn and it works.
You can learn it one day and start it the next. There really is no “magic”
involved, but we have had many delighted parents swear that the 1-2-3
works like magic. And now, after all these years, we are hearing from
parents who raised their children—from the ground up—on
1-2-3 Magic
,
and these folks thank us for turning their lives around.
Those comments summarize our primary goal at ParentMagic, Inc.:
i
ii
1-2-3 MAGIC
We want to make a dramatic and positive difference in the lives of the
people who use our program. We want moms and dads to enjoy their
children, and to be able to discipline their kids with gentleness, firmness,
decisiveness and calm. We want children to grow up happy, competent
and able to get along with others.
How to Use This Book
The third edition of
1-2-3 Magic
describes some straightforward and very
effective methods for managing the behavior of children from the ages
of approximately two to twelve. You do not have to be a genius, saint
or professional psychotherapist to use this program well. To get the best
results, keep in mind the following:
1. The methods should be used exactly as they are described here,
especially with regard to the No-Talking and No-Emotion Rules.
2. If both parents are living at home, both adults should use the
techniques. If one parent refuses to use
1-2-3 Magic
, however, the other
parent can still use it on his or her own (while hoping, of course, that their
spouse is doing something reasonable with the kids).
3. Single parents can use our methods effectively by themselves. In
fact, single parents will greatly benefit from a simple and effective system
like the 1-2-3, since these adults are overloaded, don’t have a lot of time
to spend learning discipline programs, and cannot afford to be inefficient
when it comes to managing their children.
4. Grandparents, babysitters and other caregivers have also found the
1-2-3 very helpful in managing young children. Actually, many grandpar-
ents first discovered
1-2-3 Magic
on their own and then shared it with their
children. We also hear more and more these days that many grandparents
are raising their grandchildren themselves, and these adults often find
1-2-3 Magic
to be a lifesaver.
5. Make sure your kids are in good physical health. It is a well-known
fact that illness, allergies and physical pain can both aggravate as well as
cause behavioral and emotional problems in children. Regular physical
exams for the kids are of critical importance.
6. Chapters 1-11
must
be read before starting with counting and
PREFACE iii
before using the methods in Chapters 12-26 as well. Many parents use
counting for seven to ten days to get the house under control, then they
proceed with Part IV, Encouraging Good Behavior.
Psychological Evaluation and Counseling
Psychological evaluation and counseling are indicated
before
using
1-2-3 Magic
if any child has a history of excessive separation anxiety,
physical violence or extremely self-punitive behavior. These children can
be exceptionally difficult to manage during the initial testing period when
they are still adjusting to the new discipline. If a family is currently in
counseling, this program should be discussed with the counselor before
being used. If your counselor is not familiar with
1-2-3 Magic
, take a copy
of the book, video or audio for him or her to become familiar with.
Psychological evaluation and counseling are indicated
after
using
1-2-3 Magic
if:
1. Marital instability or conflict are interfering with the effective
use of the methods.
1-2-3 Magic
is normally an excellent way to get mom
and dad “on the same page” in dealing with the kids. Sometimes just a
few counseling sessions can help right the ship.
2. One or both parents are incapable of following the No-Talking
and No-Emotion Rules. Other life stresses, as well as problems such as
anxiety and depression, can make it hard for some parents to calm down
enough to effectively use
1-2-3 Magic
. Talking this difficulty over with
a therapist can help get mom or dad back on track.