The 3 Mistakes Of My Life (26 page)

'I don't know. I don't want to think. Please don't talk about it,' she said.

We kept quiet for the rest of the auto journey.

'Here, take this maths guide to show at home,' I said and passed her a book

when she reached home.

Vidya and I exchanged ten 'are you asleep' and 'not yet' messages that night.



'What's up?' Ish said as I laid my head on the cashbox early morning.

'Nothing. Couldn't sleep well,' I said.

'Why? Thinking of Pandit-ji's daughter,' Ish laughed. I ignored him. Every few

hours I had the urge to send Vidya a 'did anything happen' message. But she

would tell me if something happened. I opened a calendar and tracked all the

past dates of our intimacy. Apart from the first time several months ago, I had

used protection every time. Could they be late for any other reason? I didn't know

and I could not ask anyone. Ish and Omi probably didn't even know the P-word.

And there was no other woman I knew apart from Vidya. And I couldn't ask mom

anyway. I picked up my phone again. 'How is it going?', I sent a neutral message.

'Nothing yet', she replied back.

The next night I did get some sleep. I sprang out of bed early morning to SMS

her again. I had an SMS from her already, 'a bit of pain, nothing else'.

I threw the phone away. I wanted to reach the shop early to take out supplies

from the godown. Somehow, I hated being late anymore.

Eighteen

Are trains ever on time?' Mama's loud voice interrupted us while we were at

work. Ish dragged out a heavy box of wickets from the godown.

'Mama, you here so early?' Omi said.

Mama kept two pink paper boxes on the wicket box. He had a tikka from the

morning prayers on his forehead.

'I had bought hot kachoris for my son and other sevaks. Their train was

supposed to reach at 5 a.m. But it is five hours late. Now what to do? Thought I

will have them with you,' Mama said and took out a kachori.

'So leftover breakfast for us?' Omi said and laughed.

'They are absolutely fresh. I'll get more when they come. Eat them while they

are still hot, come Ish, Govind,' Mama said.

'Didn't know you boys come here so early,' Mama said. The shop's clock said

eight o' clock.

'Had some work in the godown,' I said and took a bite of a kachori. It tasted

delicious.

We ordered tea and sat on the stools outside the shop.

Mama talked to Omi about their relatives. Ish and I discussed the delivery plan

for the day. The shop didn't open until nine. We could eat in peace.

'Third round of tea? Ok? Yeah good,' Mama said and called for the tea-boy

again. I had two kachoris and felt full.

Mama stood up to leave at 9.30 a.m. I wrapped the boxes back for him.

'Keep them,' Mama said, 'I'll get more anyway.'

'No Mama, we have had enough...'

Mama's phone ring interrupted me. Mama picked up the phone. His face

became serious. His mouth opened and his eyes darted around.

'I don't know the coach number, why are you asking me?' Mama said.

'What's up Mama?' Omi said.

Mama put his hand on the phone and turned to Omi.

'It is a junior party official in Ayodhya. He put our sevak team in the train the

day before. Now he wants the coach number. And he isn't telling me why,' Mama

said.

'Wait,' Omi said and went inside the shop. He came out with a notebook.

'Here, I had noted the PNR number and other details while making the

booking,' Omi said.

Mama took the notebook and spoke on the phone again.

'Ok listen, they were in S6 ... yeah, it says S6, hundred per cent S6, hello listen

... why are you praying while talking to me? Hey, hello...'

The person on the other end hung up the phone. Mama tried to call the

number back but no one picked up. 'What's going on?' I said.

'I don't know. I have to ... I'll go to the station,' Mama said.

'I'll come with you?' Omi said. 'No, it's fine. I had to go anyway. I'll find out,'

Mama said and left.

Two hours later the whole country had found out.

'Stop flipping channels," I screamed at Omi, 'they are all showing the same

thing.'

We stopped at NDTV. The newsreader repeated the news for the tenth time.

'At least fifty people died and more than a dozen injured when miscreants set

fire to a bogie of the Sabarmati Express near the Godhra station in Gujarat on

Wednesday morning.' The channel dialled in a railway official from Godhra on the

phone.

'Can you tell us what exactly is going on sir?' the newsreader said.

'We are still getting reports. But at around 8.30 in the morning Sabarmati

Express arrived at Godhra station,' the official said as his voice waned.

'Hello, can you hear us?' the newsreader said several times.

'Yes, I can now,' the official said and continued his story.

From what the channels knew at that point, a mob stoned a bogie of the

Sabarmati Express. The bogie contained kar sevaks returning from Ayodhya. The

passengers shut the metal windows to protect themselves from the stones. The

mob threw petrol on the bogie and set it on fire.

'What mob is this? Does it look premeditated?' the newsreader asked.

The railway official avoided controversy. 'The police has arrived and are

investigating the matter. Only they can comment on this.'

Ish, Omi and I watched TV non-stop. We cancelled all deliveries for the day.

'Mama's not picking up, I've tried ten times,' Omi said and threw his phone

aside.

TV channels had reached Godhra station. We saw the burnt bogie. The rest of

the train had already left for Ahmedabad. A tea vendor revealed more than the

railway official.

'The mob had Muslims. They had an argument with the Hindu kar sevaks and

burnt everyone - women, children,' the tea vendor said.

'We have fifty-eight people dead and over twenty injured, as per reports from

the Godhra hospital,' the newsreader said, 'and we have just received

confirmation that the burnt bogie was S6.'

'Did she say S6?' Omi said, turning to me.

I kept quiet. I didn't want to confirm the bad news.

'Did she? My brother is in that bogie.' Omi said and ran

out.

We came out of the shop. Every shopkeeper had a tense expression.

'They burn little kids, see what kind of a community is this,' a florist said to his

neighbouring mithai shop owner.

'Early morning in a railway station. Look at their guts,' another shopkeeper

said.

'They struck America in broad daylight too. Now the fuckers have reached

Gujarat. And Delhi will suck their dicks,' the florist said. One rarely heard curse

words in the temple, but today was different. Of all the days in my life, today was

different.

Omi came out of the temple with his father, mother and Mama's wife. All

shopkeepers, Ish and I gathered around them.

'Get my Dhiraj. I say get my Dhiraj,' Mama's wife's wails echoed against the

temple walls.

'I'll go to the station and find out,' Omi said. He tried Mama's phone again, but

it did not connect.

'Don't go, the city is not safe,' the florist said. Omi's mother clutched Omi's

hand.

'There could be a curfew soon. Let's shut shops and go home,' a florist said.

The shopkeepers dispersed. Dhiraj's mother's tears didn't stop.

'Don't worry, Mama will call back. The news is sketchy. We don't know what

happened,' I said.

'Come home son,' Omi's father said to Omi.

'I'll help them shut the shop,' Omi said.

We went back to the shop. We had to customers that morning, and didn't

expect any more.

'Do you have gloves Ish bhaiya? Mine are worn out,' Ali's voice startled us. We

had packed the shop by one o'clock.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Ish said.

Ali was taken aback. He wore a yellow T-shirt and an old pair of jeans. Luckily,

he wasn't wearing his skull cap.

'I am getting ready for practice. We have one at 4.30 today

no?'

'You haven't seen the news?' I said. 'We don't have TV,' he said. 'And your

abba?'

'He took ammi to her parents in Surat. He will come at six.'

'And you didn't go?' Ish said.

'How could I? We had practice. Don't want to do hundred push-ups for missing

practice,' Ali said and laughed, 'hey why are you shutting down the shop? My

gloves...'

'Nothing, you come with us. Don't be alone at home,' Ish said as he downed the

shutters.

'Us?' Omi said in a firm voice.

'You go Omi, your parents and aunt need you,' Ish said. 'And you?' Omi said.

'Am taking Ali home. I'll drop him off when his parents come back.'

Omi looked at me to say something. I shrugged my shoulders.

'You want to come to my place?' Ish said to me. We walked out of the temple

compound.

I wanted to see Vidya. But it wasn't the best time, and Vidya would not be in

the best mood anyway. I wondered if I should SMS her again.

'No, my mother would be worried too,' I said. She'd probably he in the kitchen,

preparing dough for the evening dhokla.

I reached home. Over lunch, I told my mother what had happened at Godhra.

My mother made me swear that I'd never fall in love with a Muslim girl. I felt tired

after the two sleepless nights and the events on the TV, and took an afternoon

nap. Omi's phone call woke me up.

'Hey what's up Omi? Got in touch with Mama?' I said and rubbed my eyes. The

phone's clock showed it was 5.30 p.m.

'I lost my brother Govind. He died on the spot,' Omi said and his voice broke.

He started crying. I lifted myself off the bed and stood up.

'Mama called. He is devastated,' Omi said.

'Is he at home?' I said.

'No, he went to the party office. All the workers are with him to support him. He

told me not to tell his wife or anyone else. Like they haven't guessed.'

'It's horrible. Omi, it's horrible,' I said. I shuddered to think we almost took that

trip.

'I can't keep silent at home and not show it. I have to get out,' Omi said.

'Then come home,' I said. 'Where is Ish?' Omi said.

'I don't know, can you stay on the line?' I said. I put Omi's line on hold and

called Ish. He picked up after ten rings. 'Ish, where are you? Why do you take so

long to pick up?' 'I am at the bank. I came with Ali to practice.' 'Is this the time to

practice?'

'What? I became sick of staying at home all day. And dad gave me dirty looks

because Ali was with me. So I said, screw it, let's hit some balls.'

'Ish, horrible news. Dhiraj is...,' I said and stopped mid-sentence.

'Oh no,' he said, 'really?'

'Yeah, Omi told me. Mama told him to keep quiet at home. He wants to get out.'

'Come over here then,' Ish said.

'Ok,' I said. I hung up on Ish and switched to the other line. 'Come to the bank.

Leave now before it gets dark,' I said to Omi.

'Mom, don't cook for me. We'll make something at the bank,' I said as I left the

house.



'Trouble has started in the city. I heard a mob burnt two buses down in

Jamalpur,' Omi said.

We came to the tuition area of the backyard to have our dinner. Omi had

cooked potato curry and rice.

'Rumour or true?' I said.

'True, a local TV channel showed it as I left,' Omi said, It's strange at home.

Mami is still praying for Dhiraj's safety.'

Omi's body shook. He broke into tears. I held his hand as he hugged me.

Ali looked at us. I smiled back at him. I went to the room where we kept books

and brought back three
Phantom
comics. I gave them to Ali as he happily read

them with his meal.

We sat away from Ali so he could not hear us.

'The mob that burnt the Jamalpur bus, Hindu or Muslim?' 1 said.

'I don't know, I'm really scared,' Omi said.

We finished dinner and cleaned the kitchen by eight. We were planning to leave

when Ish's phone rang. It was his dad. Ish hesitated to pick it up and did so only

after half a minute.

I had dinner. I'll be back in half an hour...,' Ish said, 'what?'

We turned to look at Ish. I could only hear his side of the conversation.

'Ok ... Ok ... listen, I am at the bank. We are safe here. Yes, I promise we won't

walk out on the streets ... yes we have bedding here. Don't panic.'

I gave Ish a puzzled look.

'A building in our pol caught fire,' Ish said.

'Wow, which one?' I said.

'The Muslim one at the corner,' Ish said.

'It caught fire? By itself?' I said.

'That is what dad is hoping. But it could be a Hindu mob. Dad said stay

wherever you are.'

'Our moms will worry. Govind's would too,' Omi said.

'Call them,' Ish said, I can't take Ali to his home too. His parents don't even

have a phone,' Ish said.

I called my mother and told her I would be safe at the bank. We had slept over

at the bank several times in the past. Many booze parties had ended with us