The 7th Tarot Card (28 page)

“
I have friends in the FBI. They convinced me to come over here for a while. I do work for them from time to time. Kind of an independent contractor, as I told you when we first met.”

“
I don’t understand,” I said. “What kind of work could you do in Seattle?”

“I can’t be specific, but I can tell you that your Pacific Northwest is a beautiful place, one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately it’s not immune to the hate groups that are springing up across this country: skin heads, neo-nazis, militias. The sad thing is, there’s more than enough work to do here. But again, I can’t get into it.”

“
But, if you’re working for the government,” I said, puzzled, “why were you reluctant to go with me into the police station?”

“
My work is undercover. I need to stay off the grid; keep away from the local law.”

“
So that explains why you have such irregular hours,” I said. “Not that I’ve been keeping tabs on you.”

He smiled briefly, then moved back towards me, picked up his glass and took another sip of wine
. When he spoke again, his expression was stone-cold, his voice hard. “So now you know everything there is to know about me. You see why I can’t stay. Whenever I’ve loved anyone in my life, I’ve lost them. It’s just the simple truth about my life I have to face. Maybe it’s my fate to be alone. Who knows? But I’ll be damned if I’ll go through another loss. This isn’t for me, and I know I’m not the right man for you. There are things I’ve done. Things I can’t talk about. But, believe me when I say you would be repelled. A woman like you
—
you deserve so much better.” With that he put his glass down on the coffee table, turned, and started for the door.

As he strode across the room I jumped up
and shouted, “Wait, don’t go. Stay here with me. Please! Whether or not you’re the right man for me is
my
decision. Not yours. I’m stronger than you think. I can take it.”

But
there was no going back. Not for him. He opened the door, walked out, and shut it firmly behind him. And with that, he was gone.

I was devastated, maybe even a little frightened, never expecting to hear anything remotely close to what he had just told me. Maybe he was right. Maybe this
was
too much for me to handle. Swept up in a toxic haze, I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, barely breathing. I put my face in my hands, blinking back the tears, trying to think, trying to understand, but everything had flipped upside down. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing.

Except Judah
.

My mind told me to let him go, he
’s too dangerous, too broken, but my heart kept pulling me back. He was the only thing that mattered. Whatever he had done or might have to do in his work, it didn’t change anything. Given the right situation, the right circumstances, I knew that anyone was capable of anything. I never thought I could shoot a man, but just a few days ago in Las Vegas I pointed a gun at Lenny and pulled the trigger.

No, Judah was a good and decent man.
Of that I was certain. I could trust him with my life. I already had. It was clear to me that I couldn’t let him go. I wouldn’t. I would beg him to stay if that’s what it took. I made up my mind. Goodbye safe and predictable, hello brave new world. I’m diving headfirst into the deep end.

Scrambling to my feet, I raced to the door, threw it open, and bolted down the stairs. Maybe it wasn
’t too late. Maybe I could still catch him.

The distant sound of a car door slamming and an engine starting up filled my stomach with dread as I ran past the garages and toward the parking lot. The pavement
, slick from the rain, caused my shoes to slip sideways as I rounded the corner, but somehow I managed to stay upright in my feverish rush. I reached the parking lot in time to see the tail lights of a car pulling out of the complex and onto the road. I had hesitated too long. Helplessly, I watched as the lights disappeared down the street, into the dark night and the heavy mist that blanketed the trees and the ground. It was all over. He was gone and a part of me was lost, irretrievably and forever. He who hesitates is lost, as the saying goes, and so I was.

Standing there in the dark, oblivious to the damp chill of the evening rain, a deep and empty loneliness engulfed me, reaching to my very core. How could this have happened? What could I have done differently? I could think of no good answer. My heart filled with
grief as hot tears ran down my cheeks.

Finally, numbly, I turned to go back inside when I noticed
the figure of a man, faintly visible in the dim glow of a street lamp, standing motionless in the night, his hand resting on the door handle of his car, a black Porsche.
Judah’s
car.

“
Judah?” I called out to him in disbelief. Was it really him, or was my mind playing tricks on me? After a moment, he turned slowly and looked at me. Overcome with surprise and joy, I ran breathlessly, hurrying, sweeping through the rain to him. He moved toward me, locked his arms around me and clung to me like a long lost child clings to his mother. And as he held me I melted into him, becoming part of him, and I realized my world had changed forever. Here, finally, was home, I thought. It wasn’t exactly what I’d imagined, but it was everything I needed.

I lifted my head and gazed up into his face. In his dark eyes I saw surrender and a vulnerability that made my heart ache with love. Then he kissed me over and over again with a passion that set my soul on fire
.

As he covered my face and neck with his kisses, he whispered a warning to me,
“I need to tell you something.”

“
What?” I asked breathlessly.

“
I travel. A lot.”

“
I know,” I replied between kisses.

“
And my work can be very dangerous.” He nuzzled my neck.

“
I know that too.” I sighed.

“
And I’m probably lousy boyfriend material.”

“
Goes without saying.”

“
So, are you sure you want—”

“
Sshh,” I said as I pressed my finger against his warm lips. “I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life. I think I started falling for you the day you gave me your card and told me I could call you anytime day or night, no matter what time.”

He took my finger in his mouth and playfully bit it.
“I think I started falling for you the moment I found you hanging upside down on that ridiculous contraption.”

I laughed out loud with delight as I took his hand and led him out of the rain and back up the stairs to my condo. After we closed the door behind us, I pulled him to me and whispered in his ear,
“It’s okay. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

He pushed me up against the wall, pressed his body hard into mine, and smothered me with sweet, sweet kisses that made me dizzy with desire and joy.

And I smiled. I still didn’t know his last name.

*******

Dear Reader,

Thank you for reading
The 7
th
Tarot Card
.  If you enjoyed it, I’d be very grateful if you’d take a moment to post a positive review on Amazon.com. Your support really does make a difference.

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Valerie

www.valerieclay.com