The Absolution of Aidan (The Syndicate Series Book 3) (19 page)

“Aidan. What are you calling me for? Did something happen?” Her voice becomes low, soft-spoken, and unsteady, as if she’s on the verge of breaking, crying even.

“Not necessarily. For everyone’s sake, especially your grandson’s, you better pray to god nothing does happen.” She gasps loudly into the phone.

“Are you telling me you have a son?” I recognize the struggle in her voice right away. One I have rarely heard. I haven’t lived with this woman for years. Alexis Drexler has many sides to her. The bitchy and insincere, deceptive one has always been the one that rears its ugly head the most. This side of her, though, I’ve never heard. She sounds pained. A part of me wants to pour acid inside of her pain. Watch her unravel right before me, the way she destroyed any kind of happiness I should have had while growing up in her household. None of that shit matters anymore. The need to find Ryan outweighs anything from my past or anything she has to say. I want answers so I can move on to build a sturdy, stable home where my child knows he’s one of the only reasons why I fucking breathe.

“Are you telling me you don’t know I have a son, Alexis?” Then I hear it, for the first time in my life, I actually hear this woman, who gave birth to me then threw me out like the piece of shit human she always claimed me to be, cry. I’m struck stupid. I’ve not once seen or heard her cry. Always hiding behind her mask of perfection. Living and breathing the money, the power that she has shoved up her ass.

Bracing my free hand on the brick wall in front of me, I lower my head to the ground while keeping the phone to my ear. This could be another trick of hers. One to try and make me think she has nothing to do with the threats against my son. I let her have her fit. My concern for her no longer matters. She hesitates in between her sobs, incoherent noises coming out of her mouth.

Finally, she stops. I hear her sigh deeply before she begins to speak. I’m this close to telling her to hurry the fuck up when what she says leaves me weak in the goddamn knees. Makes my chest tighten to the point I have to catch my breath in order to even hear her.

“I was never good enough for you to call me your mother. I won’t ever be. I can apologize until the day I die for the way I treated you. The repulsive things I said, the despicable way I treated you. It’s time you know the truth, Aidan. The truth about everything. I’ll come home. But can you answer one question for me, please?” I hear the shakiness in her tone, the terror rolling through the phone line.

“What?” I’m not giving her any more than that one simple word. She’s right. She doesn’t deserve me. I’m the one who’s deserving. My child deserves it. I owe this bitch nothing. I owe everything to the woman I love, her very existence in my life over the past few weeks of showing me she cares. Of making me believe I deserve to be loved without her even trying. Without her even telling me I do.

“Are you happy, Aidan?” What the fuck? I don’t know what I thought she was going to ask me, but that sure as hell wasn’t it. She wants to know if I’m happy?

“I didn’t call you to talk about my happiness, Alexis. My life is none of your business. I haven’t been your concern for a long time. You’re right. You will never be my mother. I called you because your son has threatened the lives of my son and the woman I love. The one who could never do wrong in your eyes. The perfect prodigy of the piece of shit you married. So you answer this. Did you have anything to do with that?” Her breathing becomes winded. I hear her gasping for air. She’s outright balling now.

“No, Aidan, I swear to you I know nothing about that. Just… let me come to you. I promise I will explain everything.” I close my eyes. Fuck. I want to believe her. I teeter back and forth, choosing my last words wisely before I hang up on her. “All right, Alexis. Come to me. You text me when and where to pick you up. One more thing, you have no idea who you’ve fucked with here. Unlike you, I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt my child, which includes you. ”

DEIDRE

I cannot count the times I’ve hit pause then repeat in my mind all night long about Ryan going missing. It’s like listening to my favorite song, only this isn’t a song. It’s much worse, really. It’s beyond unfathomable. Beyond reality. To be frank, I’m sick of it. Sick of these people in this world who think they can control you for their own sick pleasure of pure evil.

What started to be a cozy, relaxing bath turned into a nightmare. Aidan told me everything last night. Not this morning, though. I know he’s hiding something from me. I knew it the moment he told me it was nothing. I’m sure it was to protect me, to not make me worry. But how can I not, when another man has disappeared, only to resurface when he thinks it’s the right time to strike? This time, I refuse to let a sick man out for revenge prey on innocent people, to get the best of me or those I care about.

My fingers fiddle across my phone, texting Alina to tell her to hurry her ass up, while my eyes repeatedly dart back at Jackson, who’s paying no attention to me at all. His eyes are glued to the computer screen in front of him. Investigating, I’m sure. I toss my phone down and clear my throat, which gets me his eyes over the top of the computer.

“You’re quiet over there. Are you building a resume for a dating site?” My mannerism is joking.

“And why would I do that? You know damn well I’m not single.” No, he’s not. Jackson is head over heels for the woman he’s dating. I have yet to meet her. Everyone else seems to love her. She’s a nurse at the hospital where Alina works, that’s about all I know.

“I’m messing with you, Jackson. Lighten up, for god’s sake.” I stand and make my way toward him. The minute I’m within a foot of him, he snaps the lid to his laptop shut. Damn it.

“Nice try.” He bends and tosses the contraption on the ottoman.

“It’s not nice to keep secrets, you ass.” I tilt my head and place my hands on my hips.

“Look. I get it. You’re going out of your mind wondering what the hell is going on. You need to trust him, trust all of us that we will handle it.” I scoff at his words. I’m not pointing any fingers at anyone, but look where trusting people got us the last time this happened.

“I hate this. The not knowing, the feeling like I’m being left in the dark. Come on, tell me something.”

“At this point, there’s nothing to tell. We’re looking for him, that’s all I know.” I roll my eyes, knowing this conversation is a dead end. I reach for my phone and put in my password, which I never changed. I’m not going to, neither will I change my background photo. I smile when I look at the photo I snuck the other day of Aidan cradling Diesel in his arms while rocking him to sleep. Reaching up, I swipe the single tear escaping. These should be the happiest times of our lives. Watching our son grow and change every day. Being able to enjoy every single moment. I hate this.

I stare at the picture until I reach the baby’s room, check on him, and continue on into mine. Curling up onto my bed, I adjust my phone, swipe the screen again, and hit the FaceTime icon next to my dad’s number.

“Well, hey there.” Dad’s big, meaty head comes into focus, right along with his loud booming voice echoing through the small speaker. I laugh.

“Hi.” I try to sound cheerful, but this man can read me like a book. I know he has me pegged right away when big frown lines crease across his forehead.

“Talk to me, my girl.” I shake my head, not knowing where to start. He knows everything. Both of my parents do. Well, up until the news Aidan told me last night anyway.

“Have you talked to anyone today?” I ask, trying to feel him out, to see if he already knows.

“I’ve talked to Calla.” His answer is cryptic.

“This is such bullshit, dad,” I blurt out. Like I said, I don’t hide things from my parents. Not even my dirty mouth. They accept me for who I am, which is more than I can say for Aidan’s mom. She has no idea what kind of man she is missing out on in her life. Instead, she has her head up the ass of a deceitful woman beater.

“I know, baby. You holding up okay?” I know what he means. He wants to know if I’m losing it again. If I’m breaking down. I’m not. I’m much stronger than I used to be. Part of it has to do with him. Not once did he coddle me when I was going through the toughest part of my life. He stood by my side, held my hand, but he let me do the walking, talking, and placing my trust in myself that I could get better. And I am.

“I’m fine, dad. Well as fine as I can be. I’m worried, but I’m not going to lose it. I won’t become a victim to some sick, sinister asshole who’s out for revenge again. Not when I have a son to protect.” I watch my dad’s face change from concern to appraisal in a flash.

“That’s my girl.” He beams. And I swear to god I can feel his pride. His love for me zaps me through this phone screen.

“I love you, dad.”

“I love you, Deidre.” Dad and I spend another half hour or so talking, and laughing, and carrying on about anything and everything. It feels good to talk to him. To see his face light up whenever I mention something about the baby. I also tell him about wanting to go back to work, at least part time when this scandal is over. He agrees. After we hang up, I call my mom. She hates FaceTime, so I kick back on my bed and chat away with her, telling her the same things I’ve told my dad, which gets her going on about being the babysitter. My response is basically a “Duh. Who else would I leave my boy with?”

“I love you, mom,” I say right before I hang up. My mind isn’t at ease. It won’t be until Ryan is found, but at least my parents can comfort the burden squeezing my throat like it’s closing up, making it impossible to breathe.

“I love you, sweetheart. Everything will be fine.”

“I hope so, mom.” I hang up and toss my phone onto my bed. The bed where I gave myself over completely to Aidan last night. I lie all the way down on the bed and splay my hands out to the side. “Why can’t life be normal?”

“I ask myself that very same question daily.” I jump up. Shocked, I might add. Alina is standing in the doorway. “You scared me.” I smile at her. Then I cock my head to the side. “You look different.” She does too. I look her over, scan her up and down, then my eyeballs plunge out of my sockets at the huge rock on her left hand glistening from the sun shining through the windows.

“Oh, my fucking god.” I bolt off of my bed, stomping toward her.

“It’s exquisite, Alina.” I lift her hand so I can get a better look. I seize it, lurching her forward in the process, both of us giggling as I do.

“It’s called a blue moon diamond. Roan says it’s one of the rarest stones you can find.” I give her a wonky smile, letting her know I get the true meaning behind the word ‘rare.’ Alina is rare, genuine, and the best friend I could ask for. Then I turn my gaze back down to the round cut single diamond adorning her finger. “I’m happy for you.” I slide her hand out of mine and pull her into my arms to hug her close. Resting my head against her shoulder, my gaze drifting to the floor, I begin to lose control, unable to shake the urge to cry.

“Hey.” She drags herself back from me. My sweet friend’s hands glide up and down my bare arms.

“What’s wrong?” Tears begin to sting my eyes. Tears I’ve held in for way too long, trying to be strong for not only myself, but for Aidan. I need this, to break down and cry. I feel like crap, raining down on her happiness. But I cannot help it.

Crying doesn’t make you weak. It’s made for the strong. I cry, sob, and spill my guts out after dropping down to the floor in the middle of my bedroom. I continue to cry even when I hear Diesel wake up, only for Jackson to holler that he’s got him. Then I cry some more. Crying is respectable. Talking is moral. Listening to a crying woman on a day that should be one of the happiest days of your life outshines them all.

Best friends make the hard times calmer, the great times memorable, and the in between times better than the ones before. I have that in my selfless best friend, who carries the weight of so many burdens herself. She’s overcome them. Made herself stronger, independent, and successful. Yes. Crying is good. It’s very good.

Alina stayed the remainder of the day. We baked, laughed, and managed somehow to get Jackson in on our now little adventure.

Now here we are, sitting at the table. I’m getting ready to place Diesel in his new chair. Alina’s idea I might add. She was right when she said we should get this. The perfect dig to Aidan. One that is bound to make me laugh.

It was delivered a little over an hour ago. It’s amazing how when you offer the store a hell of a lot more money than you paid for the chair they have it couriered right over to you.

“What the hell?” Aidan’s eyes are overspun with hatred as he stares at the chair.

It’s meant to be a joke, to liven the tension. Only Aidan does not find it funny.

“I told you so,” Jackson scolded.

“Whatever.” I swat him away with my hand.

“You’ll think whatever. Alina, get my son out of that goddamn chair.” My back goes rigid.

“Quit it. He’s my son, too. And we do live in New York, not Detroit.” Seems everyone finds this situation funny except him.

Man, this guy may love his Tigers more than I love the Yankees. I’m beginning to realize it now. Even Roan starts laughing his ass off from behind my big, tall, brow-beating man the minute he sidesteps him and gets a look at the chair.

“I don’t care where we live. No kid of mine is going to have anything to do with the Yankees. Now, give me that thing.” He enters the room with a predatory gaze, a snarly growl leaking from his lush lips. An angry Aidan is a sexy Aidan. He actually lifts me up, removes my kid from my arms, somehow manages to flip me over his shoulder in one big ole swoosh of air, and kicks the chair into the corner. The plastic and wooden chair goes tumbling to the floor.

“I think that’s our cue to leave, baby,” I hear Roan say.

“Not so fast, mister.” I’m hanging upside down, talking to a very nice, firm ass. I’ll stay right here and say what I have to say, while staring.

“Congrats, Roan,” I say. He laughs. They all laugh, except Aidan, who whips around forcefully. “Um. Hello. Jolly Green Giant, can you put me down?” My heart is shuttering fiercely.