The Accidental Honeymoon (4 page)

In his 28 years as an attorney, Author Stevens has never quite worked on a contract quite like this one. He is unaware of any marriage agreement like the one that he is composing on his laptop. Ryan paces around back and forth. “Just keep it simple. We stay married until the merger is approved. Then the marriage shall be annulled and she will receive 10 million dollars in cash.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely.”

Ryan’s legal consigliere stops typing. “Ryan, perhaps I should not be doing this. I am not your personal attorney.”

“I know but I can not trust them. This agreement can not leave the walls of this office.”

“I am not an expert on marriage law.”

“You are the best lawyer in Silicon Valley. And the highest paid as well. I could not get better advice from anyone else.”

“Then I advise you not to do this.”

“Why?!”

“Because this is California. The marriage laws here are more um, progressive. If Karin challenges the contract, it only takes one judge to rip it in half. She could take you for billions.”

Ryan looks out of Author’s window. “I trust her. Finish the contract.”

Author knows not to push it when his boss gives him a direct order. Author finishes the contract and prints it out. The two men walk back into Ryan’s office where Karin has been sitting on the sofa in a daydream state.

“Hey, Karin. So this is a slight legal matter we must complete,” Ryan explains. Author looks at the young intern and tries to discern if she is someone to be trusted. On the surface, the attorney sees Karin as a sweet and honorable person. But Author’s lifetime of legal experience tells him to never trust anyone. So he doesn’t.

The three sit at a table. Author places the contract in front of Karin. “This states that you and Ryan will be married until the merger of Emperor Technologies and IBS is complete. Upon approval of the merger from both companies’ stakeholders, the marriage will be terminated. You will then receive ten million US dollars in the bank account of your choice. If you divulge this arrangement during the marriage, then you will be in violation of the contract and will not be compensated. If you divulge the contents of this arrangement after the marriage, you will be sued in the amount of fifteen million dollars.”

Karin nervously looks over the contract. “I’ve never signed a contract before,” the young intern remarks as she looks over her name among the lines of legal mumbo jumbo. She notices the huge numbers on the contract itself - $10,000.000.00. The zeroes make her head dizzy. Her fingers shake.

“It’s just a formality,” Ryan explains to her.

Karin nervously picks up a pen and begins to sign.

“Initial in these areas,” Author tells the young intern.

Karin initials several areas of the contract.

“Looks good,” Author tells Ryan.

The CEO smiles. “Well, it looks like we’re going to be married.”

Karin’s exhilaration turns to nervousness. She imagines what her parents will think. How is she going to explain this to people? Ryan is quick to note she is uneasy. He doesn’t want to compound her unsteady emotions with any rash or sudden movement.

“Thanks, Author. Take the rest of the night off,” the CEO tells his General Counsel.

“Have a good evening, Ryan. And have a good evening, Karin.”

“Thanks,” the two of them tell the lawyer.

Author leaves the office. Karin looks over at Ryan still unsure as to how she is supposed to interact with her boss and as well as her soon-to-be-pretend husband. The CEO walks over to Karin and looks at his watch. “You look like you could use the rest of the night off yourself,” Ryan tells the intern.

“My whole body is tingling.”

“Perhaps that’s a good thing.”

“I’ll tell you what. Let me give you a drive home.”

Karin looks at Ryan, this time as a cute guy who wants to give her a ride instead of this intimidating boss. She can’t help but say, “Yeah, sure.”

Karin walks with Ryan. More than a few heads turn as the employees see the most powerful man in Silicon Valley walking with a female intern,
at night.
It is obvious that he is leaving for the night. It is also obvious that he is leaving with her.

Karin and Ryan walk out into the cool California evening. The CEO’s car is parked right outside of the headquarters’ front doors, perhaps one of the most coveted pieces of real estate in the entire Silicon Valley. Some Emperor employees have to park so far from the building that shuttle vans are provided for those parked in one of the company’s 12 remote parking lots.

The CEO opens the passenger’s side door to his Audi R8 sports car. Karin gets inside. She is rather impressed by the fact that Ryan opened the door for her. Ryan gets inside. She looks around this sleek supercar. It’s not as ostentatious as a Ferrari or a Lamborghini. Given Ryan’s obvious net worth, he doesn’t need to flaunt his wealth. This Audi R8 is simply a fast, well-designed sports car that fits the young CEO’s aesthetic tastes.

“So where do you live?” Ryan asks as he gets into his car.

“I um, share an apartment in Campbell.”

“Oh wow. That’s a heck of a drive in the morning.”

“Yeah. It’s about an hour to get to Palo Alto.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that,” Ryan responds as he fires up the V-10 engine. The young CEO speeds out of the parking lot at breakneck speed. Karin’s body is pushed against the back of the passenger’s side chair. Instead of being scared, she is actually exhilarated. As a skateboarding and snowboarding junkie, she is turned on by speed tinged with a bit of danger.

“How fast have you gone in this thing?” Karin asks.

“On the track or on the road?

”

“I’m almost afraid to ask how fast you have gone on the road.”

“I’ve hit 185.”

“I can’t believe you could go that fast in a production car.”

“Oh well, check this out.”

Ryan floors it. The speedometer whips past the 100 miles per hour mark without strain. Karin’s fingernails dig into sides of the passenger’s side seat. Ryan jets his Audi onto the 101 without any fear of legal repercussions. The R8 slaloms around the few cars still on the freeway at 11 p.m. When Ryan’s radar sounds its alarm, the CEO pounds on his brakes, quickly bringing the sports car within the posted speed limits.

“That was cool!” Karin exclaims.

Ryan laughs and looks at the excited young girl. “I think we’re gonna get along.”

Karin finds herself back at her apartment faster than she had imagined. She figured that Ryan made it from Palo Alto to her shared apartment in about twenty minutes. Much to her delight, the powerful CEO exited the car and opened the door for her. For a moment, she had hoped that Ryan would kiss her.

“Oh no. My car is still back at the office,” Karin remembers.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow. How does 8:30 a.m. sound.”

Karin is a little too shocked to answer right away. Ryan Wilde is going to give her a ride to work. It’s almost too crazy for the intern to comprehend what is happening. “That sounds good.”

“Okay. Good night,” Ryan tells her as he gets back into his car. Karin watches the Audi pull out of the apartment complex and speed into the night. Karin slowly walks up the stairs and opens her apartment door.

“They sure have you working late,” one of Karin’s roommates tells her.

“Yeah,” Karin replies in a daze.

“I hope it’s worth it,” her half-motivated and fully-stoned roommate tells her.

“Yeah. I think it is.”

****

Ryan picks up Karin right at 8:30 a.m. As she enters the Audi, Karin is still unsure how to act around her boss and her future pretend husband. “You look like you got a good night’s sleep,” Ryan says.

“I did. Thanks again for giving me a ride.”

“No problem. I’m glad you are starting to get more comfortable.”

“I’m trying to adjust to this very unique situation.”

“Don’t be nervous. I don’t bite.”

Karin giggles. “Some people would have a hard time believing that.”

“Oh, when you get to know me, you’ll see that I am harmless. I am passionate but harmless.”

The Audi pulls up to the CEO’s reserved spot right at the front of the office. Karin exits the car and escorts Ryan into the office. She can feel the hundreds of eyeballs on her. Her face begins to turn red.
Everyone must know something is going on.
Karin tries to ignore it as she enters the elevators with her boss.

When the elevator doors open on the fourth level, Karin makes her way to the conference room while Ryan makes his way to his office. “Have a great day,” Ryan tells her.

“I will, honey,” Karin blurts out. She quickly covers her hands over her mouth. Karin is stunned by the verbal slip.

Ryan turns around and looks at the blushing intern. He laughs. “You too, honey!” Ryan taunts as he walks away.

Karin is embarrassed and excited. She makes her way back to the conference room to begin her day as the most awkward intern in the world. Karin begins to check her e-mails, trying her best to keep her head on straight.

“Karin,” a deep voice booms from above. The young intern looks up and sees Author standing outside of the conference room. “Can you come with me for a moment?”

Karin gets up and follows Author to his office. The General Counsel closes the door behind him. Karin begins to wonder if she is in trouble for anything.

“Have a seat,” the lawyer instructs.

Karin nervously sits down on the chair.

“Is anything wrong?”

Author sits down on his highback leather chair and just looks at Karin for a moment. It makes her feel uncomfortable. “How exactly did you get your internship here? After Ryan made me write up this contract for you to be married to him, I decided to do a little background check on you. And things just don’t add up. All of the interns here are Stanford, MIT, Berkeley or Harvard students. As far as I can see, you dropped out of community college. How exactly did you get your foot inside the door of this company.”

Karin begins to get really nervous. There is no way she can explain the real reason why she gained this internship. She would have to confess to finding the lost prototype satellite phone and jeopardize Scott Appell’s career at the company. The young intern tries her best to think of a cover story. Author Stevens, the experienced lawyer, knows she is thinking of a lie. He knows she is attempting to be evasive. That only makes him want to push the issue further.

“A friend of mine at the company got me this internship.”

“What friend is that?”

“Scott Appell,” Karin squeaks out. She didn’t want to say his name. Karin knows she could have already said too much. The young intern knows she is about to screw everything up. Scott is going to lose his job. Karin is going to lose her marriage proposal to Ryan. No internship. No ten million dollars. Nothing.

“Explain to me how you know him.”

“He goes shopping at Northface, where I used to work.”

“And?”

“And well, um, we got to know each other.”

“Are you fucking him?”

“No!” Karin retorts rather strongly.

“Look, I have to ask.”

“Are you going to talk to Scott?”

“You bet I am.”

“Please don’t!”

“Why?”

Karin fights back the tears. She knows she is cornered. There is no lie should could tell that could possibly get her out of this. “Look, Scott is a good guy. And I promised to keep this secret for him.”

“What secret?” Author presses.

Karin looks at the high-powered lawyer. She bites her lip. Her head gets light. She is hoping, praying that this is some sort of nightmare and that she could wake up and everything would be fine. Karin gets up from the chair. “My word is my bond. I’m not telling you. You can tear up the contract. I’m quitting my internship.”

Author watches Karin get up from the chair. He is slightly surprised by her reaction. “Karin,” he calls out. She doesn’t respond. She walks right up to the door and turns the handle. “Karin. Come back here.”

She doesn’t want to look at him. She doesn’t want to look at the man who destroyed her dream.

“Why are you protecting a man you hardly know?!” Author calls out as Karin opens the door.

She stops. She slams it shut. It doesn’t matter anymore. Karin knows she isn’t going to marry Ryan. She just wants to take this chance to tell this lawyer off.

“I don’t squeal. You wanna fire me? Fine! You want to sue me? Go right ahead and take the last $80 from my checking account. You want to do some evil lawyer voodoo nonsense and ruin my life? Fine. I can’t compete. I don’t have an Ivy League degree. I don’t have a law degree. But I am a better human being that you are. You can’t control me. And I won’t allow you to have that control over me. Goodbye, and go fuck yourself!”

In that moment, Author realizes that he perhaps doesn’t need to be suspicious of Karin. She may, in fact, be the perfect woman to contract in Ryan’s secret marriage. She is willing to give up ten million dollars to keep one person’s secret. But for the first time in his life, Author believes he may have overplayed his hand. Karin whips the door open and walks out of his office. The lawyer gets up and gives chase to Karin who is storming down the hallways, looking for the fastest way out of Emperor Technologies’ headquarters.

Karin finds the elevators. She stabs the down button with her index finger. The doors open. “Wait!” Author calls out. Karin ignores him. “You know what. I am an asshole,” Author tells the young woman.

She turns around and holds the elevator doors open. Author steps inside and closes the doors. “I am the biggest asshole lawyer in Silicon Valley. I am also the highest paid asshole lawyer in Silicon Valley. And Ryan pays me to protect him. Now, I can read people better than anyone.”

“Can you read what I’m thinking about you right now?!” Karin tells the lawyer.

“You hate me. Now, let me tell you what I’m reading. You are offended and angry and hurt. I also know that you are someone who would never break her word. You are willing to walk away from this to protect a secret. And you know what, that’s exactly what Ryan needs.”