The Accidental Mistress (37 page)

‘Is she the woman you ran into in New York?’

‘Yes.’ He seemed to be fighting with himself, wrestling with the old, reticent John who never said anything about the past. Trying to vanquish him, so they could face each other frankly, without secrets.

And yet she could see him in pain. Would it be better to back off?

Suddenly, he turned his hand in hers, and replicated her double-handed grip. ‘I loved her once, Lizzie. I was besotted with her … I wanted to marry her, and she led me to believe that she wanted that too, that we were more or less engaged.’ With a passion that shocked her, he raised her hand to his lips and covered it with kisses, hungry and desperate. ‘It was a good match too. Her … her family knew my family. We were all set.’ He kissed the back of her hand again, softer this time. ‘And then, when I needed her, when I thought she’d stand by me … she just ran.’

‘The fucking ungrateful cow!’ It was out before she could stop it, and she was as shocked by her own vehemence as John appeared to be. They sat in stunned silence for a moment, as if set in amber, then suddenly he laughed. And laughed. And Lizzie joined in, overtaken by it, giggling, almost hysterical.

When they settled down again, she said, ‘Well, it’s true, isn’t it? You make an enormous sacrifice for her … blacken your good name and all that. And she buggers off. What a bitch!’

He leaned forward and drew her to him, bringing their foreheads together, shaking his against hers.

‘You’re completely right. She was a bitch. She still is … I think. But she has a way of wrapping it all up in a cloak of charm.’ He put his fingers beneath her chin, tilted up her face, and kissed her. It was a long, slow, thoughtful kiss, but for all his focus on her, Lizzie sensed a preoccupation … the phantom touch of a devilishly charming woman?

No! He’s mine. You can’t have him back!

When their lips parted, John gave her a puzzled look, as if he’d heard her silent declaration. Then his expression
changed, became almost glowing, as if some other thought, some illumination, had occurred to him.

‘I
was
going to say, if only I’d known that at the time … well, perhaps I’d not have succumbed to her. But maybe it’s better that things turned out the way they did.’ His eyes gleamed in the moonlight. Suspiciously so … ‘If Clara hadn’t right royally fucked me over … and then done it all over again … I might not have been in the Lawns Bar one night not all that long ago. I might have been leading an entirely different life.’ He blinked. ‘And then I probably wouldn’t have met you, Lizzie.’ He grabbed her again, hugging her to him, rocking their bodies. ‘Or I might have met you and not been able to do a damn thing about it!’

Lizzie blinked too, horrified by the thought of that near miss, and awed by a more emotional, open John than she’d ever seen. She hugged him back, a sudden, passionate strength banishing the last of her weakness and whatever had ailed her.

But there was more, she knew, much more. Clara had right royally fucked him over
twice
? What was all that about? Lizzie didn’t know yet, but it spoke to her of tenacity in this rival she’d never met. A mercurial quality. A woman like that could change her mind. A woman like that really could suddenly decide she wanted John again … and reach out to take him.

But for the moment, Lizzie wasn’t going to show her own hand, or lose her head. She’d deal with all the twists and layers to John’s story all in good time. And knock down the demons – and bloody Clara – as they presented themselves.

Determination surged in her, and she put up her hand, dug her fingers into his golden curls, and drew his mouth down to
hers for a kiss. To hell with the germs; he was tough, he’d fight them off.

John was her man, and
she
was going to do some fighting too. She’d fight for him, and fight against all the shadows of his past; the ones he’d revealed to her and the ones as yet still hidden. She had a shrewd idea that they hadn’t heard the last of Clara, but this moment was too precious to let thoughts of her spoil it.

Responding to her, John took over the kiss; clearly he wasn’t in the slightest bit bothered by germs either. Lizzie had no idea whether he’d ‘heard’ her inner resolutions, but he drew her to him, kissing hard, his tongue twirling with hers.

‘Toothpaste,’ he observed, licking his lips as they broke apart.

‘Of course … germy gargoyle breath, remember?’ She smiled at him, mimicking that swipe of the tongue.

‘Oh, hell, love … I forgot. Some bloody nursemaid I am.’ He didn’t let go of her, though.

‘You’re not a nursemaid, Mr Smith. You’re medicine. And I feel better already.’

He gave her a slow, sweet, tricky, narrow-eyed look. ‘No … surely not …’ His hand slid down her body, caressing her through her robe, the quality of his touch suddenly different, exciting. ‘What would Sir Richard say? He’d have a fit if he knew what I wanted to do to his patient, so soon.’

‘Bollocks to Sir Richard. He’s a nice man, but
I
know what’s best for me.’ Lizzie rose, drawing John with her, and started tugging him towards the bed. ‘You can do me nice and gently. I’ll survive it … though it’s probably best to save the funny stuff until I’ve got a clean bill of health.’

John stopped her in her tracks, and moved in front of her,
cradling her face between his two hands, looking down at her. His beautiful blue eyes were as brilliant as the moon outside.

‘I think I know what it is now, Lizzie,’ he said softly.

‘What
what
is?’

He kissed her on the forehead, then whispered, ‘I love you, Miss Aitchison.’

‘And I love you too, Mr Smith.’ Her heart hammered, and she hugged him, claiming him as hers and loving that he’d finally spoken the words. Because now, in the shadow of Clara, they
really
mattered.

‘Good, that’s settled, then!’ Voice full of joy, he whisked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. ‘One extremely nice and gentle fuck coming up.’

It’s not going to be easy. There’s more we have to deal with. Much more … But I love him and he’s worth any amount of fighting for.

While John stripped off her robe and then, kneeling over her, started tearing off his own clothes, Lizzie came to a conclusion.

In order to fight effectively for her man, she had to be on the spot, as close as close could be, right by his side.

So, when they’d made love, and when they were sleepy and sated, or maybe energised and hungry again …
that
was when she’d announce that she’d move in with him!

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Version 1.0

Epub ISBN 9780753549155

www.randomhouse.co.uk

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

First published in 2013 by Black Lace, an imprint of Ebury Publishing
A Random House Group Company

Copyright © Portia Da Costa 2013

Portia Da Costa has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

This novel is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner

The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009

Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at:
www.randomhouse.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 9780352347619

To buy books by your favourite authors and register for offers visit:
www.randomhouse.co.uk
www.blacklace.co.uk