The Accidental Proposal (39 page)

‘We don’t have one,’ says Lucy, unable to stop staring at him. ‘But if you wait a few minutes, the assistant manager will be back from his lunch break, and—’

‘I’d like to, really I would,’ says Dan, taking Lucy by the hand and leading her round from behind the desk, then peering up at the security camera on the wall. ‘But I’m in a bit of a hurry. And if you could help me out, I’d consider it a personal favour.’

Lucy gazes up at him, and then looks nervously back at the front desk. ‘I’m not really supposed to leave—’

‘I know. But I won’t take up too much of your time. All we need to do is check what areas are covered by the CCTV so we know where the paps might be hiding. I’d be very grateful,’ he says, smoothing down the lapels on her jacket with his fingers, managing to brush his knuckles against her breasts at the same time. ‘Besides, no one needs to know. It’ll be our little secret.’

It’s an impressive thing to witness: Dan in full-on flirt mode, and even though for a moment I’m worried Lucy’s going to say ‘no’, if Dan suspects this he doesn’t let on. After all, he’s not used to having that word said to him. Particularly by a woman.

‘Okay,’ she says. ‘Follow me.’

As Dan gives me the thumbs-up behind her back, Lucy leads us out of reception and along a corridor, until we reach a door with the word ‘security’ written on it. ‘Here it is,’ she says, producing a bunch of keys from her pocket, then looking embarrassed when the door turns out to be unlocked already.

I follow the two of them inside. There’s a bank of television monitors above the desk on the far wall, all showing views of various floors, corridors and function rooms, as well as – of course – the reception area.

‘Good, good,’ says Dan, pretending to inspect the equipment, his other hand casually stroking the small of Lucy’s back. ‘And these are all being recorded?’

Lucy nods. ‘We keep the old ones here,’ she says, pointing to a large shelf, where there are several labelled disks filed – not unlike Dan’s collection – by date. Although I imagine the content is a little different.

Quick as a flash, Dan reaches up and selects one from the shelf – the one from last Saturday – as if by random. ‘And what happens to these recordings afterwards?’ he asks, examining it for a few seconds, before slipping it back onto the shelf so it protrudes slightly from the rest.

Lucy seems to forget I’m here, and edges towards him. ‘Oh, they’re deleted. Eventually, I mean.’

‘Really? That’s fascinating. And is there a camera in here? This room, I mean?’

Lucy starts to blush again. ‘No. Why?’

‘Why? Well, because . . .’ Dan suddenly stops talking, then grabs Lucy, spinning her round so her back’s facing the shelf, and starts to kiss her. She resists for a second, and then, like you see in those old nineteen-forties films, melts into his arms. I’m about to turn away in embarrassment when I realize what he’s doing – or rather, why he’s doing it, especially when he opens his eyes, glares at me, and with his free hand – and I don’t want to think about where the other one is – points frantically towards the shelf.

After a moment’s hesitation I reach up, grab the disk, and slip it into my jacket pocket, then give him the thumbs-up to indicate that he can put Lucy back down now, but he doesn’t seem to want to, and instead, waves me out of the room.

To be honest, even if I didn’t have a movie to watch, I’d be keen to get out of there.

2.07 p.m.

By the time Dan eventually gets back, proudly announcing he’s just ‘taken one for the team’, I’m none the wiser. I’ve managed to find the section that features what looks like me staggering in through reception, and while the recording’s a little bit fuzzy, there does seem to be a girl holding me up. The only trouble is, thanks to the bulk of the fat suit, I can’t see enough of her to identify who it is. The worrying thing is that I do seem very keen to get back to my room with her, but then again, I also seem to be having such a job coordinating my limbs when I’m upright it’s doubtful I’d be able to do anything horizontally either.

‘So, where does this leave us?’ says Dan, fast-forwarding and rewinding through the section a couple of times, which has the effect of making me look like I’m doing a very drunken hokey-cokey.

I shrug. ‘I dunno. I suppose if it proves one thing, then it’s that I did go back to my hotel room with a woman.’

‘Yeah, but she could have just been helping you up there. It might have been a member of staff.’

‘Lenka would have said. No, the evidence is there. And I’m just going to have to tell Sam what I know. Or at least, what I’ve seen.’

Dan looks at his watch, then sighs. ‘I suppose it’s now or never. Although . . .’

‘What?’

He makes a face. ‘I’d still recommend never.’

2.33 p.m.

It feels funny knocking on the door to my flat – well, Sam’s flat, as it’s going to be again soon. I haven’t quite worked out what I’m going to say, although the truth – or at least, as much as I know of it – seems like my only option. It’s occurred to me that I could use whatever Sam’s been doing to try and soften the blow, but the downside to that approach is that if Sam hasn’t been doing anything, then it’ll make my situation even worse. Above all, I know I need to keep calm, but when the door’s answered – not by Sam, but by the same man I’ve seen with Sam in the café, the pub, and in my nightmares – any sense of that goes out of the window.

‘Oh no,’ he says, his face draining of all colour. ‘You’re not supposed to be here.’

‘I could say the same thing to you,’ I say, instantly hating the familiarity in his tone, then – despite Dan trying to hang on to me – I barge past him and into the front room. ‘Sam? Sam!’

‘Edward?’ As Sam emerges from the bedroom, I’m too angry to notice the beautiful wedding dress she’s wearing. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Surprise.’

‘Ah.’ Sam glances guiltily across at her mystery man. ‘I guess our secret’s out.’

‘It certainly is,’ I say, a little taken aback at her flippancy.

Sam smiles at me. ‘Well, you’d have found out soon enough anyway. Edward, this is Patrick.’

Sam’s mystery man – sorry,
Patrick
– advances towards me and sticks out his hand, and I automatically shake it, which rather makes my idea of punching him in the face seem a bit out of place.

‘Edward,’ he says, ‘it’s so nice to finally meet you.’

Sam walks over and loops an arm round his waist. ‘Patrick’s the reason you haven’t seen much of me over the last few weeks.’

And there it is: the revelation.
Confession
, even – but I can’t think how to respond. Suddenly, my anger and desire to hit Patrick disappears.

I collapse onto the sofa as if my plug’s been pulled out. None of this makes sense, because despite the gravity of the situation, Patrick is smiling, Sam is too – although she’s also looking a little sheepish – and even Dan is sitting in the armchair in the corner with a great big grin on his face. A grin that speaks a thousand words.

‘You knew about all this?’

Dan nods. ‘That’s right, Eddy-boy. And there have been times when it’s been tough to keep it a secret, I can tell you.’

My head starts spinning, unable to take any of this is. For the last few weeks, not only has my fiancée been cheating on me, but my best friend has known all about it too. And for some insane reason, they’re all talking as if it’s no big deal.

Patrick smiles. ‘Your fiancée’s been a hard woman to satisfy, I can tell you.’

Dan starts to snigger, and this immediately makes me annoyed again. So much so that I leap up off the sofa and walk menacingly across to where he’s sitting.

‘How could you?’

‘I’m sorry, mate. But you’ve got to admit that was quite funny. Although if you can manage to do it, how hard can it—’

Dan stops speaking, possible because I’ve grabbed him by both lapels and hoisted him out of his chair.

‘Easy, mate,’ he says, putting his hands on my shoulders in an attempt to calm me down. ‘This is Armani.’

I let him go, unable to believe that with all that’s going on, the thing he seems to be most worried about his suit, then turn back to look at Sam.

‘I think you’ve got some explaining to do.’

Sam grins nervously. ‘Guilty as charged. Though in my defence, it is all your fault.’

‘My fault?’ My legs nearly go out from under me, and I lean against the wall for support. It’s the Jane scenario all over again. Except . . . It’s
Sam
. I take a couple of deep breaths as she continues.

‘I mean,’ she
says, ‘I always wanted a little affair . . .’

‘What?’

‘. . . but everything you said kind of got me thinking. About wanting a larger one. You know, doing it properly. And then a client of mine recommended Patrick.’

‘Recommended?’ I’m stunned. Not only that Sam’s suggesting her infidelity was my idea, but also by the fact that anyone would recommend someone to do it with.

‘That’s right. And after I met him and told him what I wanted to do, it kind of just grew.’

I shake my head to get rid of the horrible image that’s forming in my mind. ‘Spare me the details, please.’

‘You don’t mind, do you?’

‘Mind?’
I don’t know where to start. ‘What is there to mind? The fact that you’ve been doing it behind my back, and with him?’ I jab a thumb in Patrick’s direction, then sit back down on the sofa and put my head in my hands. ‘And the fact that Dan knew all about it.’

Sam comes and sits down next to me. ‘But I thought this was what you wanted?’

‘So . . . You’re doing this for me?’

‘Well, not
just
for you, I suppose. When Patrick got involved, I started to get excited about doing it for the first time in my life. But I was pretty sure you wouldn’t object. Especially since it was your idea in the first place.’

‘My idea?’ I stare at her incredulously, unable to believe how this can all be my fault and my idea. But then again, Jane told me it was my fault that she had an affair, so maybe Sam’s right. Perhaps somehow I’ve led her to believe it’d be okay, or maybe even a good thing. All of a sudden, the shame of the situation knocks what’s left of the wind completely out of me. ‘Who else knows about this?’

Sam shrugs. ‘Everyone. At least, everyone who’s going to be there.’

‘Where?’

Sam rolls her eyes. ‘At the wedding, silly.’

‘At the . . .’ I stare at her in disbelief. ‘You still want to go through with it?’

‘Why wouldn’t I?’ Sam rests a hand on my arm, and I’m too shell-shocked to pull away. ‘Otherwise all of Patrick’s efforts will have been wasted. As will the money I’ve paid him.’

‘You had to
pay
him?’

‘Of course.’

Patrick laughs, then walks round behind the sofa and puts his hands on Sam’s shoulders. ‘You wouldn’t expect me to do her for nothing, would you?’

As Patrick and Sam seem to be having a joke at my expense, I can feel my anger start to rise again. But surprisingly, it’s Dan who twigs what’s wrong with me.

‘And wedding planners don’t come cheap,’ he says, getting up out of his chair.

‘Huh?’

‘I mean,’ continues Dan, ‘how on earth was Sam going to organize the big wedding she knew you wanted on her own, and in such a short space of time? I tell you, Patrick’s been a godsend. Plus it’s been tough keeping the wool pulled over your eyes.’

Not for the first time, I can’t think of anything to say, so I just repeat myself.

‘Huh?’

Dan looks at his watch, then hauls me up off the sofa, and I’m still too stunned to resist. ‘So we better go off and get you ready. Especially if we’re going to get you to the church on time.’

‘The . . .
church
?’

‘That’s right,’ says Dan, leading me towards the front door. ‘Besides, Sam’s got to finish getting ready too. For your
surprise
big church wedding
.’

As Dan almost shouts these last four words, and I take in just what it is Sam’s wearing, I finally seem to be getting it, although my immense relief at the fact that Sam isn’t having an affair is tempered a little by the fact that, at least if she had been, I might have felt a little less guilty about my own misdemeanour.

Sam walks over and kisses me, which makes me feel even worse. ‘I mean, after you got me this lovely ring, I didn’t know what to get you. So I got you, well,
this
.’

I stare at her in disbelief. ‘I feel like such a fool. How could I have missed it?’

‘I’m sorry, Edward. I know we promised not to have any secrets from each other. And I promise I won’t keep anything from you ever again. But I wanted to surprise you.’

Dan laughs. ‘And it looks like you have. Come on, Ed,’ he says, putting one hand on the door handle.

While there’s a big part of me that’s tempted to follow him, I force myself to stay where I am and take a deep breath, knowing this is my moment. And while it’s something I’m worried – especially now – is going to absolutely crush Sam, there’s no way I can back out of it.