The Adulterer's Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations, A Novel (15 page)

Alan nodded, but his face darkened.
Perhaps he could see what was coming.

“Anyway, he asked if I needed someone to talk to about it and, like an idiot, I said yes.”

“I knew this was bothering you.
I should’ve listened.”

“Alan, aren’t you conflicted about this too?”
How could I be the only one who was confused?

“Sure I am.
But I know where I want this to end.”

“You do?” I thought my heart had stopped.
Could I handle it if he said he wanted to run off with me?
Worse yet, could I handle it if he said he wanted to go home and pretend like nothing had ever happened?

“Yes.
I…”

I cut him off, “I don’t want to know right now.” Alan frowned.
“First we have to resolve this issue.
Let me finish the story.”

I waited for him to nod, then began again, “It was Terry’s idea to go on the bike ride.
He was just outside the door.
I guess he had been waiting there when he called me.”
Alan’s eyes turned darker, like a murky, brackish green.

“Again, like an idiot, I climbed on his bike and off we went.
I should’ve said ‘no,’ but I didn’t.”

“Where did he take you?”

Did I detect concern or anger in his voice? “The lake where we went that first night.
He had a blanket in his saddlebag and we sat down and I told him some of the story.”

“What, exactly, did you tell him?” Alan said the words slowly, as if he was preparing to yell at me again.

“I left out the juicy stuff.
I told him I didn’t think I loved my husband anymore.
That he’d become a philandering workaholic and that his priorities had changed.
Terry held me and I cried.
It would have been fine if that’s all that had happened.”

“What else happened?” Anger flared across Alan’s face, but I had to continue.

“How descriptive do you want me to be?”

“He came onto you?!” Alan stood, knocking his chair down.
He began to pace.

“Yes.”

“What did he do?
Kiss you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all?” He was in full fury mode.

I sighed.
I would have to tell him or he would always wonder.
“He pushed me down, climbed on top of me, shoved his tongue down my throat and his hand down my shorts.”

Alan’s voice was deadly calm, “He tried to rape you?!”
Veins thundered beneath his skin.
“That fucking bastard!
I’ll kill him…”

I interrupted his vigilante monologue before he put on a ski mask and tried to buy a handgun in Florida, “You don’t have to.”

“He attacked you!” he screamed.

I folded my arms, countering his hysteria with calmness, “I’m not exactly helpless, you know.”

Curiosity got the best of him, “What did you do?”

“I knocked his balls so far into his throat he won’t be able to swallow for a week.
Then I kicked him while he lay there.
I told him I would call the cops and report him for attempted rape and made him drive me back.”

Alan slumped into his chair, staring at me in amazement.
Clearly he hadn’t expected that.

“He’s pretty scared right now.
I wouldn’t worry about him.”

“I still want to kill him,” Alan muttered. “Did he give you an excuse as to why?”

I shivered, thinking about that, “He said he’s always wanted me and that he thought since I was sleeping with you, I would sleep with him.”

“Blackmail?”

“Possibly.
Or he could have thought I was a slut.”

“Jesus.”
Alan wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, “I had no idea.”

We sat for a moment, allowing what I told him to sink in.
Relief washed over me, taking all my strength with it.
If Alan still wanted to fight, he wouldn’t get much from me.

“Are you alright?” He ran those long, sexy fingers through his hair.

That was exactly the right thing to say.
“I think so.” I responded, taking his hand in mine, “Alan?
Do you think I’m a slut?”

“No, I don’t.
I’m so sorry I even made you think that.”
He rose and pulled me tightly against him.

I pulled back, “Well, I told you about Nick…”

He brought me back into his arms, “I don’t care about Nick.
That was completely different.”

I took a deep breath, smelling him, remembering and making new memories.
This one problem was solved but a much bigger one loomed ahead.
Tonight, I would have to have answers, but for right now, I felt better.

Martha arrived promptly at seven and we left the hotel for the bus, arm-in-arm.
During the twenty minute ride, we laughed about the kids’ antics on the trip.
I noticed that when Alan talked about Ben and Jenny, it was with the same affection he used for Alice and Jack.
He was already beginning to think of all four kids as ours.
I know it should have startled me, but it had the opposite effect and I melted into him.

Our reservations at the fake, English pub weren’t until 8:30.
We had a table reserved on the patio so we could watch the light show.
As darkness fell, we walked around the lagoon, talking intimately and holding hands.

Every time our eyes met, my heart fluttered.
I felt nervous and giddy but also comfortable and safe.
Like that feeling you have when you fall in love for the first time.
It was exciting and terrifying and I wanted more.

We paused beside the lagoon, Alan’s arms around me.
His lips brushed my ear, kissing my neck, leaving a trail of shivers across my skin.

“It’s a beautiful night,” I said.

“You are a beautiful woman,” he responded, “I’m a very lucky man.”

“Hmmm, how so?”

“There’s no place I would rather be than right here right now with you.”

I laughed, “You say that to all the moms you run into on vacation.”

“No, no, you are the only one.”

I turned to face him, kissing him slowly on the lips.
He moaned and I wanted him.
Pulling myself away, I forced myself to think of the kids.
Tonight was supposed to be about discussing our dilemma.
No matter how desperately I wanted to fuck him.

“You were going to tell me what you’ve decided,” I said, searching his eyes.

He nodded, “I was, but you stopped me.”

“Don’t think you’re going to get out of telling me.
I want to know.
Right here.
Right now.”
I sounded calm but was jelly inside.
What if he didn’t want me?
He seemed so sure of himself.
Why wasn’t I the same way?

Alan pulled me against him, tracing my face with his fingers, “I know what I want, Laura.
I want you.
I don’t care if we live in a shack in Guatemala.
My decision is to have you with me for the rest of my life.”

I trembled uncontrollably.
He slipped both hands up to my face, looking deeply into my eyes.
I can’t remember a time when I felt more terrified and happy.
He was telling the truth.
I could see it in his eyes.

“Come on,” he said with a smile, “I’ll bet our table is ready.”

We held hands all the way to the restaurant.
After we ordered, our fingers met across the table.
I had made up my mind.

“Okay.”

He looked puzzled, “Okay?”

I nodded, apparently having run out of words.

Alan’s face turned from confusion to ecstasy when he realized what I was saying.
“Really?
Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I took a mouthful of wine and swallowed.
I was taking a big step.
My life would change forever.
Not just mine, but the kids’ lives as well.
Mike could just make that goddamned job his mistress.
To hell with him.

“My God, Laura,” Alan looked like he would leap onto the table, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Neither do I,” I admitted.
Fortunately, the fireworks went off, silencing us for a while.
Every now and then, our eyes would meet and I thought the table would spontaneously combust from the heat.
His fingers never stopped stroking mine.
I was completely lost.

“Anything else I can get you folks?” Our waitress asked as she brought our dinners.
We shook our heads and she left.

“What about the kids?” I asked the first question since I had agreed to run off with him.

“Let’s try to get custody of all four.” He grinned and I nearly choked on my filet.
“Why not?
Susan and Mike don’t want to be burdened by their families.
Let them have every other weekend.”

“And what will we do every other weekend with an empty house?” I asked, taking another sip of wine.

“I don’t think we’ll leave the bedroom.”

“I knew I made the right decision,” I smiled at him.
“But we can’t base this decision strictly on sex.”

“I suppose we must be practical about it,” he chewed his steak thoughtfully.
“Where should we live?
Your town or mine?”

“Let’s find our own town.
After all, we have to pull two kids from school, either way.
Why not just make a fresh start?”

Alan laughed, “Fine with me.
West Coast?
East Coast?”

I cut through my meat, “How about the Southwest?
Ever lived in New Mexico?”

“I’ve never even been there.
You?”

“Me neither, but I’ve always wanted to go.
I have a friend who’s the dean of a college there.
I could get work easily enough.”

“I can work anywhere.
My agent won’t care.”
He lifted his wineglass, “This deserves a toast.
To our new life together in New Mexico!”

My glass rang against his and I drained it.
New Mexico.
Where the hell did that come from?
I suppose if we were going to do something so reckless as run away together, we should start out in a completely new location.
My stomach twisted as I wondered if Mike and Susan would fight us.
I suppressed the thought.

“So, we’ve made up our minds, we have a new place to live, and we know the kids will be happy.
What’s our timeline?”

“Timeline?” I asked.

“Well, you know, when we return home, how long before we break the news and flee to the hinterlands?”

“I don’t know.
How about immediately?” Leaving Mike was going to be agony.
Being alone and away from Alan would be hell.
The sooner we left, the better.

Alan pushed away from the table, shaking his head, “I can’t believe this is happening.
We’re actually going to do it.”

My God.
So we were.
“Yes, I guess so.”

The silence was deafening.
It finally hit me.
I was leaving my husband.
I was going to get a divorce.
I never thought that would happen to me.
I certainly never thought it would make me happy to do so.
Happy.
Jesus.
It had been so long since I’d been happy.
What would it be like to wake up happy every morning?

“I guess there’s only one thing left for me to do.” Alan rose from his seat and came around to mine, kneeling down on one knee before me.
I think my heart stopped beating at that moment.

“This is something I thought I would do years ago.
Laura,” he began, “will you marry me?”

“Oh yes! Of course I will! Alan, I love you!” Tears flowed down my cheeks as I nodded in response to his proposal.
A clearer head might have pointed out that I and the man proposing to me were already married to other people.
A sober person might have said,
Let’s take it one day at a time
, or something reasonable like that.
I think this might have been the most insane moment of my life.
Things could only get saner from this point, right?

“I love you too.
I know it sounds crazy,” Alan said solemnly, “but I can’t just live without you.
Do you understand?”

I nodded.
It did sound crazy, but it also made sense.
There would be a lot of tears, not to mention paperwork, along the way.
But for right now, life seemed absolutely perfect.

As we walked through the park on our way to the bus, I thought about all the questions crowding my brain.
Instead of answering them, I just catalogued them for later.
Tomorrow we could answer them.
My heart was happy.
Soon, my head would be too.
But right now, that wasn’t important.

When the lights went out on the bus, we made out like teenagers.
Our lips never parted as his hands roamed across my body and my fingers explored his.
I was going to give this man the lovemaking of a lifetime tonight.
And it would just be a preview of what was to come for the rest of our lives.

When the bus came to a stop in front of our hotel, I pulled away, leading him off by the hand.
In spite of what was to come, we moved slowly, taking our time as we passed through the lobby out to the bar area by the pool.

“Would you like a drink?” Alan asked, stroking my arms with his hands.

“Sure.
Sounds good.”

“I’ll be right back,” he pulled out a chair for me and headed to the bar.
The night was cool but my flesh was on fire.
I took a couple of deep breaths and closed my eyes.
Everything happened so fast, but I wasn’t upset.
Shouldn’t I be?

No, this was what I wanted.
It’s the right thing to do.
I knew it in my heart.
For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace with my future.

Alan returned with two glasses of champagne, sitting after placing a glass in front of me.
“To my future wife, Laura, the woman of my dreams.”

“To the man that I love,” I replied, “with all of my heart.”

The glasses clinked and we drained them.
I started to laugh as the bubbles burned my throat.

“What is it?” Alan asked with a wicked grin.

“What I meant was, with all of my body.”

“Oooh. Let’s include that in our vows!”

“Mom would love that.
Maybe we could get the minister to say, ‘Now you may fuck the bride.’”
Hmmm, that had potential.

“Now my dad would love that one.
Why don’t we just get a justice of the peace to do the ceremony from the hotel room?”

“That would make the wedding pictures tricky, to say the least.” My God, we were talking about our wedding!

“You’re right.
But just in case, maybe we should get some practice in.” Alan stood, holding his hand out to me.

“Yeah, we want to be really good at sex before the wedding night.
I don’t want it to be awkward in any way.” I took his hand and together, we laughed as we walked to our rooms.