The A.I. War, Book One: The Big Boost (Tales of the Continuing Time) (21 page)

I
’
M
NOT
AFRAID
OF
DYING
.

THERE
YOU
GO
.
I
REMEMBER
YOU
,
FROM
THE
OLD
DAYS
.
YOU
’
RE
MACOUTE
,
RIGHT
?

I
USED
TO
BE
.

YOU
EVER
KILL
ANYONE
?

ONE
PERSON
.
I
HAD
TO
.

A
TEMPLE
DRAGON
?

NO
.
JUST
BY
CHANCE
,
NO
.

EVER
KILL
ANYONE
ELSE
?

NO
.

I
’
LL
TAKE
YOUR
WORD
FOR
IT
,
JASON
.
OF
COURSE
,
IF
YOU
’
RE
LYING
TO
ME
AND
YOU
DON
’
T
DIE
,
I
’
LL
FIND
OUT
.

The stars wheeled by Jason’s eyes, a slow rotation that made him queasy to look at. Finally he shut his eyes and floated in the dark.
THAT
SUPPOSED
TO
WORRY
ME
?

IT
WOULD
WORRY
ME
,
IF
I
WERE
YOU
,
said Trent.
OF
COURSE
,
I
’
M
NOT
YOU
,
YOU
’
RE
ME
…
IF
YOU
DON
’
T
START
BREATHING
A
LITTLE
BETTER
,
YOU
’
RE
GOING
TO
THROW
UP
IN
YOUR
SUIT
.
YOU
REALLY
DON
’
T
WANT
TO
DO
THAT
.
I
SAW
A
MAN
STRANGLE
THAT
WAY
ONCE
.

BAD
WAY
TO
GO
,
I
IMAGINE
.

THERE
ARE
NEITHER
GOOD
WAYS
NOR
BAD
WAYS
.
JUST
WAYS
.

YOU
REALLY
BELIEVE
THIS
CRAP
?

HOW
YOU
LIVE
MATTERS
.
HOW
YOU
DIE
DOESN
’
T
.

IT
MATTERS
TO
ME
.

Jason could almost feel the smile on Trent’s face.
NOT
FOR
LONG
,
IF
YOU
’
RE
LUCKY
.
NOT
FOR
VERY
LONG
,
EVEN
IF
YOU
’
RE
NOT
.
IT
’
S
HARD
TO
SPEND
A
REALLY
LONG
TIME
DYING
.
YOU
GET
BORED
AND
FIND
YOURSELF
LIVING
AGAIN
,
WHILE
YOU
’
RE
WAITING
TO
DIE
.
SOME
PEOPLE
,
ONCE
AWARE
OF
THEIR
OWN
MORTALITY
,
CRAM
THEIR
ENTIRE
LIVES
INTO
THOSE
FEW
BORED
MOMENTS
WHEN
THEY
’
RE
NOT
WAITING
TO
DIE
.
THAT
’
S
A
VERY
BAD
WAY
TO
LIVE
.

Jason concentrated on his breathing. He could feel the queasiness in his stomach, threatening to erupt.

VANCE
OWNS
YOU
,
Trent said.
HE
’
S
DONE
TO
YOU
WHAT
HE
DOES
TO
EVERYONE
,
SACRIFICED
YOU
TO
THE
GREATER
GOOD
.
THE
FACT
THAT
HE
DOES
IT
TO
HIMSELF
AS
WELL
IS
NO
EXCUSE
.

HE
DOESN
’
T
GIVE
YOU
A
LOT
OF
CHOICE
.

CHOICE
IS
THE
ONE
THING
NOT
EVEN
VANCE
CAN
TAKE
FROM
YOU
.
YOU
ARE
ETERNALLY
YOURSELF
,
JASON
ALEXAI
LUCAS
,
AND
YOUR
FEAR
OF
VANCE
IS
YOU
TURNING
AWAY
FROM
THE
CHOICE
TO
BE
WHO
YOU
WISH
TO
BE
.

I
’
M
NOT
AFRAID
.

Trent let that hang there a moment.
NOT
AFRAID
OF
DYING
,
I
BELIEVE
THAT
,
MACOUTE
THAT
YOU
WERE
.
AFRAID
OF
LIVING
?
LET
GO
,
JASON
.
PAIN
GOES
AWAY
,
AND
IT
HURTS
LESS
THAN
FEAR
WHILE
IT
LASTS
.
NOTHING
DOES
LAST
,
NOT
GOOD
THINGS
OR
BAD
,
NOT
SUCCESS
OR
FAILURE
,
NOT
LIFE
ITSELF
;
AND
NO
MATTER
HOW
MANY
TIMES
YOU
FAIL
,
WHILE
LIFE
REMAINS
YOU
CAN
ALWAYS
GIVE
YOURSELF
ANOTHER
CHANCE
EVEN
IF
NO
ONE
ELSE
WILL
;
CAN
ALWAYS
CHOOSE
TO
TRY
AGAIN
.

Trent’s voice was growing fainter.
HERE
ARE
THE
THINGS
I
WISH
SOMEBODY
HAD
TOLD
ME
,
WHEN
I
WAS
YOUNG
.

KNOW
WHAT
YOU
’
RE
USING
YOUR
LIFE
FOR
.
YOU
ONLY
GET
ONE
AND
IF
YOU
SPEND
IT
ON
SOMETHING
FOOLISH
THEN
YOU
ARE
A
FOOL
,
AND
YOU
’
LL
DIE
FEELING
LIKE
ONE
.

NEVER
HURT
ANYONE
YOU
DON
’
T
HAVE
TO
;
NEVER
TAKE
ANY
SHIT
FROM
ANYONE
.
WHEN
YOU
ARE
READY
TO
DIE
RATHER
THAN
BE
PUSHED
,
PEOPLE
WILL
STOP
PUSHING
YOU
.
WHEN
YOU
’
RE
NOT
AFRAID
,
NO
ONE
CAN
HAVE
A
HOLD
UPON
YOU
THAT
YOU
DON
’
T
GIVE
THEM
WILLINGLY
.

TO
BE
HAPPY
,
BE
VIRTUOUS
.
THERE
ARE
ONLY
TWO
REASONS
TO
EVER
DO
ANYTHING
;
TO
BE
HAPPY
,
AND
TO
HELP
OTHER
PEOPLE
BE
HAPPY
.
ALL
VIRTUE
LIES
IN
THE
SECOND
HALF
OF
THAT
,
IN
WORKING
FOR
OTHERS
,
IN
PROTECTING
THE
WEAK
FROM
THE
STRONG
.

THIS
IS
TODAY
’
S
LESSON
,
said Trent the Uncatchable.
THIS
IS
EVERYTHING
IMPORTANT
I
THINK
I
KNOW
ABOUT
BEING
A
MAN
.

As Jason drifted in the silent void, watching the stars wheel around him, Trent’s voice came to him a last time:

GOOD
LUCK
,
JASON
ALEXAI
LUCAS
.
I
LOVE
YOU
.