“That’s just the point, he won’t let you.”
The thought sent chills through me.
“The pain, Will. I have no idea if I want that at all.”
“Have no fear, my darling. You’ll be so much in Reggie’s grasp by that time, you’ll be begging for more. And don’t expect the worst, he’s not a brutal man.”
I wasn’t reassured, but I knew beyond all doubt that I wanted the man.
“So I’d better go. I have much to do.”
He kissed me gently.
“Will, did you tell Reggie that my name is Alexandra?”
“I didn’t know it was.”
“I wonder how he knew?”
Will just smiled. I never would know. I wanted to believe that Reggie was simply intuitively linked to me, so I never asked and he never offered an answer. Maybe it was just a good guess.
Thursday morning, I stood with Will again waiting at Reggie’s door. I’d been a rollercoaster of emotions since his note arrived, and while I’d been reasonably calm when Will knocked on my door, by the time we made the hour long drive, I was as anxious as I’d ever been. My stomach was a little sour, and I was feeling a bit light-headed. A half an English muffin had been all I could choke down.
Excitement. Dread. Panic. Lust. They all converged on me, and I had to lean against Will for a moment while I waited for the door to open.
This time a woman answered our knock. She was older, plain looking, more like someone’s mother than the resident of an unusual house like this – and nothing like the beauties that were bathing poolside when I’d been here before.
“Thank you, Athena,” Will said, as she took my bags.
“I’ll put the lady’s things in her room. Reggie is out riding. You can relax in the library or by the pool.”
I was less in awe of Reggie’s home this time having already been introduced to its opulence. Even so, for a moment as I gazed about, there was a bit of delight knowing that I’d be living in this fabulous house at least for a few weeks, maybe much longer. Funny how things turn out – giving up my job had been the least of my concerns when this was decided. That was something to feel good about. I’d been sticking it out at work, bored as ever for the last year, just waiting for the perfect time to quit and move on. With a decent nest egg in the bank, I had enough to get me through a year if I did nothing else. This was a start to my new life – whatever that might be.
Will took me directly through the foyer, out the large double doors to the pool where two women sunbathed, and a man swam laps.
“Alex, this is Heidi and Ann.”
“Welcome, Reggie said you’d be coming.” Heidi spoke first. “He’s been in a temper today, so watch out, the horses must be giving him a hard time.” Heidi was tall, blonde and very thin, too thin I thought. She wasn’t pretty, but she fit well into the sensually sophisticated atmosphere of Reggie’s domain. Fine ornamentation. Ann, on the other hand, was plump, dark-haired, wearing a sun suit rather than one for swimming. She seemed unlikely in this place with its wild purposes. She could have been my mother’s best friend, or the girl typing next to me at the office.
“Don’t let Heidi scare you,” Ann said. “Reggie will be as gentle as a lamb to you. He’s only nasty to us, and we know how to fight back.”
It was nearly eleven when Reggie strode into the pool area from a stairway that must have led down to the stables.
“Ann, call the vet, I’m not sure of the mare.” Ann took off on the command, while Reggie moved our way.
He wore jeans, expensive looking cowboy boots, and an open collared blue shirt that showed stable soil on the cuffs. He was wiping his hands on a bandanna that he stuffed in his back pocket, all business giving orders, sending Heidi off on another errand so that Will and I were there alone with him. The man in the pool had disappeared as well.
He turned to me.
“Alex, I’ve kept you waiting.” He sat down on the lounge across from my chair, and for the moment, all his attention was on me, almost as if he was picking up where he’d left off the week before. He wasted no time in trivial talk.
“You’ve chosen to be here.”
“Yes,” I replied.
Again his eyes, his startling eyes held me in their grasp. My desire for him was so strong, even stronger now, if that was possible. I wanted to begin right then. I knew I’d do anything he asked of me.
“You’ve made a choice that will shock you before it’s over, because there is no way to prepare for it. My advice to you is to accept and comply, knowing you may walk away anytime you should choose. I have no other advice to give you but follow along and you’ll do just fine. We lunch here at 12:30. Afterwards, Athena will show you to your room and explain the customs in this house. Then the afternoon is yours. I’ll see you at 6:30 for dinner.”
He was cold, detached and abrupt. Where I’d known his total attention before, this second time I felt dispensed with when he left, except for one brief moment when he stood to leave, and paused long enough to invite Will to dinner. He laid a hand on my shoulder and a reassuring warmth passed from him to me. Then he was gone.
After lunch, I followed Athena to my room on the second floor. There must have been six or seven bedrooms along the hallway, but it was not exactly a mansion. The double bed in my room was made up with a lace comforter. Two small antique dressers, a rocking chair and several framed prints were all that adorned the simple room. I liked it immediately, though the furnishings were nothing like I’d seen in the rest of the house.
“There are a few things you need to know,” Athena said. She was pleasant and direct, and seemed pleased to have me here. “We have breakfast at 7:30, lunch at 12:30 and dinner at 6:30. There’s always food in the kitchen if you miss a meal, which you don’t have to attend. We’re not fussy. You can even call down to me on the phone. My number is ten. I’ll bring you anything you need. Don’t hesitate to seek me out, that’s what I’m here for. Your bath is through there,” she motioned to a door opposite the bed that stood slightly ajar. “Although it also adjoins another guestroom, there’s no one to share it with right now, so you have it to yourself. Reggie will be attending to you most of the time, but when you’re free, you may use the pool and Jacuzzi, walk the grounds or use the library. If you play tennis, Ann will have you out on the courts in no time. Oh, and the TV is in the library.” She stopped there, wondering if she’d missed anything, “Any questions?”
“I don’t think so, thank you. Will and I thought we’d swim this afternoon.”
“Well then, you come down to the kitchen when you’re ready and I’ll show you the pool house and a few other things. Will’s been here often enough to know.”
After unpacking my clothes and placing them neatly in the dresser and closet, I went downstairs to find Will, who was already sunning by the pool. We enjoyed the afternoon swimming and relaxing in the Jacuzzi. There was no mistaking the sensual atmosphere of the estate. It would have been an entirely pleasant afternoon had I not been so apprehensive. However, my thoughts were constantly drawn to Reggie and to what he’d do with me.
We left the pool by four o’clock, and I went up to my room to dress for dinner, while Will went elsewhere to do the same thing. By six, I found the library where several others had gathered, drinking. Will was there, too, though he was engaged in an intense conversation with a man and I didn’t want to interrupt. Needing a little time to settle my anxiety, I took a seat, content to remain alone and watch the activity in the room without joining in.
Reggie entered just before it was time to go into the dining room. He was light, charming, delightful with his friends and guests. My eyes were riveted on him, the way he flowed about the room, smiling, maybe chuckling, never laughing outright. His eyes would occasionally meet mine and when they did, they flashed a mysterious expectancy that charged the waiting minutes with an excited kind of wonder. When he finally moved my way, I felt myself dampen between my legs. By then, my body was so sensitive that I could feel the fabric of my short skirt graze against my thighs and bottom and belly. With each small caress my body quickened even more.
“Drink this, Alexandra,” he said, handing me a glass of clear liquid. He kissed me lightly on the cheek and my body spasmed. I wanted more.
The drink went down quickly, although I nearly choked on the strong liquor. Thankfully, no one noticed. I felt totally alone in this company of strangers. Even Will was remote from me. It was as if two dramas played simultaneously, the one around me and the one within me.
Reggie showed us to our seats as we entered the dining room where a massive table was set with heavy china, goblets and silver, almost threatening in its appearance. There was something ominous in entering that space, as if it were the bearer of dark secrets. Here was the entrance to my darker side and what lay beyond this room, and this meal, and these people. I could not escape what the thought of such things was doing to my arousal.
“Alexandra, sit at my left,” Reggie said. He directed Will to sit at the other end of the table. Michael, whom I’d met at the pool sat next to me, Heidi across the table at Reggie’s right, Elliot, to Heidi’s right, and then Ann across from Will. At the opposite end of the table was Gus, the foreman of the stables. He was a dark surly man, heavily bearded with deep set eyes that cast furtive glances around the room. He seemed suspicious of the gathering. I concluded he’d rather not be present at such a fancy table. He’d be more comfortable sharing beer in the stables with his boss. His close ties with Reggie were apparent to me when I watched them together earlier. His eyes darted about observing, but saying nothing.
The banter around the table was intriguing, from politics to philosophy to ethics. Lacking confidence, I didn’t speak until Reggie turned to me deliberately.
“Alexandra, what do you think: is there an absolute good and evil?”
All eyes around the table stared at me. I must have blushed. “I…” I stumbled over my words.
Reggie waited patiently.
“I don’t see any use for absolutes,” I finally gathered myself enough to open my mouth. “They don’t work, there are always circumstances that defy the rules.”
Reggie looked briefly impressed with my reply, and the conversation went on without me. I felt as if I was bridging the gap between me and the rest of the table, though my triumph was short lived.
The drink I swallowed so quickly had begun to go to my head. I was glad for the meal that followed, but it was light vegetarian, not nearly as filling as I hoped. Midway through the meal, Reggie plopped another drink in front of me. Again his instructions, “Drink it quickly.”
“But the other already has me so lightheaded,” I protested. He stared at me coldly in reply. I took a deep breath and nearly threw the drink down my throat. The meal was over.
Chapter Thirteen
After dinner, we adjourned to the living room, the same room where Reggie had first received me, where I chronicled my fantasies to him in explicit detail. The remembrance of that meeting delighted me as I gazed at the chairs where we’d sat. Heidi and Elliot sat there now, locked in conversation, their heads together like lovers.
My mind was swimming, the liquor in me rushing to my head. I sidled close to Will, taking his arm in mine and the warmth of his body soothed me. “I’m so glad you’re here,” I whispered.
He looked down at me with his passionate eyes. I could tell they were warm with desire. “You’ve chosen Reggie as your lover, not me, my dear.” His words coolly defied his lust for me, and seemed to ignore the fact that I was doing this as much for him as I was for me.
“But Will?” I started to protest.
“Dive into your choice, Alex, this is your world now.” He stared toward the others. “Make the most of it.” He gently removed my arm from his and strolled away.
I stood alone, watching Will join Reggie and Gus in an animated conversation. Ann sat comfortably by herself, smoking.
“Dinner was wonderful, wasn’t it?” I said, approaching her.
“Frankly, hon, I prefer steak and ribs and all those deliciously fatty things, but yes, for light and healthy, the cook does pretty good.”
“You don’t mind my asking, but is this your permanent home?”
“Oh, God forbid!” she replied. “I’m here because of Heidi.” There was a finality in her voice that closed the door on further conversation about her living arrangements.
“I understand you play tennis?” I asked.
“As often as I can. Do you play?”
“Not well.”
“I’m not choosy about partners, we’ll have to try a game sometime.” She quickly snuffed her cigarette and pushed herself from the couch. “Excuse me, but I need to rescue poor Elliot,” she explained.
Alone again, I couldn’t find a way to join the others. Will didn’t want me near him. Ann, Elliot and Heidi seemed deeply involved with each other. I’d never approach Reggie and Gus just plain frightened me. Besides, beneath all my fears, I was quaking inside waiting for the night’s drama to begin – if it would begin at all. Trying to make small talk seemed pretty ridiculous at this point.
I watched Reggie move among the others. Richly alive, his confident demeanor fascinated me. With Ann he touched her affectionately, and her face lit up in response to his witty comments, which I was unable to hear. For Heidi there was the infectious smile and his deliciously warm laugh. She just snarled at him like a petulant child, and then smoothed it over with aloof detachment.