The Alpha Bet (17 page)

I dial our home phone number and Sean picks up. Ugh. I am not really in the mood to talk to the little extortionist.

“Let me talk to Mom,” I say.

“You made her cry, you big jerk,” Sean yells at me. “She was doing so good then you had to go and hang up on her.”

“I didn’t mean to,” I say, feeling horrible.

“It doesn’t feel very good, does it?” He asks, slamming the phone down.

****

Two hours later I find Jentry on her favorite bench on the quad.

“Peace offering?” I ask, extending a pumpkin spice latte to Jentry. She looks up and grabs the drink. I sit down on the bench next to her. I take a few sips of my own coffee and take in the red, yellow, and orange shades that the leaves on campus have turned. I just love it when the leaves lose their chlorophyll. The hot coffee does a good job of warming me up. I hadn’t realized how chilly it had gotten when I left the dorm in just jeans and an oxford. It is hard to believe that I was in this same spot nearly two months ago when Jentry begged me to rush with her. Now I’m eight short tasks away from becoming a full-fledged Alpha and having everything I want.

“I’m not really mad at you,” Jentry admits.

“I know. You were right though. I shouldn’t take my mom for granted. I know she loves me. I guess now that I’m out from under her suffocating grip I’m a little afraid to give her any power back.”

“Your mom definitely isn’t who I thought she was that first day I met her,” Jentry laughs.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s actually a pretty cool lady.” Jentry smiles. “She’s given me some good advice.”

“When did my mom give you advice?”

“We email every once in a while,” she says, shrugging like it is no big deal.

“What, you mean those inspirational emails?”

“No. Like regular emails.” She takes a sip of her drink while I fight to keep my emotions in check.

“So, is she like using you to find out what I’m doing?” My hand is practically shaking with anger as I bring the coffee to my lips. How could Mom be so diabolical that she would go behind my back and use my roommate to spy on me?

In a flash, Jentry is standing in front of me, looking angrier than I’ve ever seen her. She wings her coffee cup toward a garbage can. The cup falls short and coffee splashes against the side of the can.

“For your information, we don’t even talk about you. I needed somebody to talk to about my family stuff. And I wanted to apologize to her for making her think my mom was dead. I can’t believe you think that she would do that to you. And even if she did, how could you think that I would be involved in it?”

I feel so stupid for thinking that Jentry and Mom had some spy on GK thing going on that I don’t even know what to say. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. Jentry just stares at me with the most disappointed look on her face.

“I thought we were friends. I would never betray a friend,” she says, disappearing behind a cluster of trees.

I sit on the bench for a long time, finishing my coffee, and wondering how in the world I could be so close to everything I’ve ever wanted, yet feeling more lost than ever. Something I’ve been pushing back for weeks bubbles up and I can’t push it down anymore. I start sobbing into my hands. I miss my family. I don’t belong here. I just want to go home.

I dial my home number again hoping that Sean doesn’t answer. When I hear my mother’s voice it is like eating warm chocolate cookies, snuggling by a fire, finishing the perfect book, and waking up on Christmas morning to a foot of snow all wrapped up in one moment.

“Hi, Mommy,” I whisper, still crying.

“Grace Kelly, what’s the matter?”

“I miss you,” I admit, not caring about the gawkers walking by.

“I miss you too, sweetheart. Is there something else wrong?” She probes gently.

“Jentry is mad at me. Charlie thinks I’m a liar and now he’s dating Sloane. The sisters think I’m somebody that I’m not. I was so mean to you. I don’t belong here,” I mumble through sobs.

“Calm down, sweetie. I don’t know who Charlie and Sloane are so I can’t help with that one. But I know that Jentry is a true friend so you two will work it out. I don’t know much about the sisters but I’m sure they wouldn’t have picked you as a pledge if they didn’t think you would belong. It’s really hard for me to admit this, but you belong there. It’s hard enough to leave home at eighteen, let alone sixteen. You are doing so good. Daddy and I are so proud of you.”

I was expecting Mom to offer to come get me and take me away from my new complicated life. Actually, I guess I was hoping she would. That way I could blame her for college not working out. I guess maybe I’ve blamed her for a lot of things I was too scared to try. If I really want to be a grown-up I have to start acting like one all the time instead of picking and choosing the situations I want to deal with. Starting with all the lies I’ve told.

I’m tempted to tell Mom about the whopper of a lie I told just to get into the Alphas but I don’t.

“Grace Kelly, it wasn’t right of me to keep you so sheltered all these years. I’m so sorry.” I hear her choke up and my stomach clenches. I’ve been making her out to be such a monster for so long that I forgot she was just trying to do her best to keep me safe.

“It wasn’t all you, Mom. I hid behind you a lot of times that I was too scared to make my own decisions.” I admit.

“I’ve never wanted anything but the best for you,” she says.

“Can I come home this weekend?” I beg. As bad as I want to see my family, I also want to avoid Charlie at the Monster Mash.

“You are most definitely not coming home this weekend,” Mom says harshly.

“You’re actually telling me that I can’t come home?” I ask amazed.

“Not after I slaved all week at my sewing machine to make a costume for you.” She laughs.

“What kind of costume?” I ask, afraid to know.

“You’ll see. Just make sure that you send me a picture. I’m getting pretty good at opening email attachments since Jentry explained it to me. By the way, tell her that I deleted those pictures she sent to Sean. Your brother is in a heap of trouble. I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what he was blackmailing you about? I couldn’t get it out of Jentry.”

“Gosh, Mom. I can’t even remember,” I lie, smiling.

“I hope that you know that you can tell me anything,” she says, getting serious.

“I do, Mom,” I answer, tempted to spill everything about the Alpha Bet and the lie I told about being Edwina Fay’s niece to get into the sorority in the first place. But I don’t. I think baby steps to the whole truth are better for now.

The day of the Monster Mash is finally here. I wish I could be as excited as Jentry and the other sisters but my stomach is in knots. I just know that Sloane will try to humiliate me by making out with Charlie right in front of me.

Jentry and I spent the morning trying to hunt down red tights to wear with her ketchup costume. Now we are back in our dorm room getting ready for the party. I’m about to slice open a package from Mom with the infamous cheerleader panty box cutter.

“Don’t you dare,” Jentry warns, stealing the weapon from my hand.

She slides the blade back in then tosses it on her bed. Delicately she peels the tape off the box and pries it open.

When Mom said she made me a costume I was expecting a blue and white gingham Dorothy costume complete with braids, not a floor-length satin ivory gown with matching elbow gloves, a candy cane striped sash, and fake diamond costume jewelry like Jentry just extracted out of the box. Mom also packed the satin pumps my grandma got married in that I have coveted for years but was too afraid I would end up in the ER if I wore.  How in the world did she know that I wanted to dress up just like my favorite picture of Princess Grace of Monaco? I love that picture so much that I printed it off and taped it to my desk.

“Wait…you told her?” I ask Jentry. She is holding the dress against me, shaking her head in amazement. And to think I used to be embarrassed to wear the clothes my mom handmade for me.

“I might have mentioned it. You know, in between when I was giving her the 411 on you giving Charlie your panties, and making out with that girl,” she says teasingly.

“Wow!” I gasp, spying the dress against me in the mirror.

“Your mom rocks. If you ever talk shit about her again, it’s on,” she jokes.

“I know.” I say, actually meaning it. As much as I love the dress, it makes me even more homesick but the fuzzy feeling knowing that Mom made this especially for me to attend a fraternity party overpowers the homesickness. I can’t believe how long it has taken me to realize how much my family, especially Mom, just want me to be happy. My family isn’t perfect, but they’re mine, and I’m lucky to have them.

Jentry lays the dress gently across my bed and moves to her desk. I can tell by the way she is moving across the room that something is wrong. Jentry is pretty good about blowing off her true feelings but I know her change in mood has something to do with her family.

“Why don’t you ever talk about your family?” I ask her nervously.

“What’s to talk about? My mom and dad are both workaholics who don’t even care that they have a kid. The best day of their lives was the day I left for college,” she says, slumping down in her desk chair.

“That can’t be true. I’m sure they are just keeping themselves busy so they don’t miss you so much,” I say, trying to reassure her. I glance at the photograph Jentry took of her mother swinging and wonder how that woman could possibly neglect her daughter. Jentry catches me gazing at the photo.

“That’s my aunt. She’s the only one who has ever spent any time with me,” Jentry admits.

“I’m really sorry, Jentry. I didn’t know. If it’s any consolation, I think they are crazy. There is nobody I’d rather spend time with than you.”

“Thanks, GK. I’m sorry I dumped on you. It’s just that I’d give anything to have a mom like yours,” she says, working her red tights on one leg at a time.

“I’m pretty sure she’d swap you for Sean,” I tease.

“I’ve always been afraid to trust people because of my parents,” Jentry admits. “You’re the first really close friend I’ve ever had. I knew you were different the first time I saw you.”

My cheeks flame up remembering how I accidentally busted in on Jentry and Aaron. It seems like that all happened a million years ago. A lot has changed in ten weeks.

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you.” I tell her, knowing that I’ll never be able to repay her.

“I don’t believe that for a second, but you’re welcome,” she says smiling again. “We better quit screwing around and get ready for this big party.”

“Tonight is going to be hard,” I admit, referring to seeing Sloane and Charlie together as a couple for the first time.

“Charlie is going to be panting when he sees you in that,” Jentry laughs. I can’t help but hope she is right even though I know we can’t date.

“I’m sure he’ll be too busy making out with Sloane,” I smart off, slipping out of my jeans. I unbutton my oxford and slip into the dress. Jentry zips it up for me and it fits like a glove. I step into my grandma’s heels and arrange the sash over my dress.

“Will you quit? You don’t even know for sure that they are dating. Ron said that Charlie doesn’t like her,” Jentry says, piling my hair in an up-do. She grabs the tiara my mom put in the box and carefully slides it on my head. I sit patiently as she applies my makeup. I don’t really need her to anymore but it is kind of fun being pampered.

“Is that why they left together the other night?” I ask, unconvinced.

“I guess she told him that some guy had been following her around all night and she was scared to walk home alone. Sounds like our girl, huh?”

I can’t believe I was naïve enough to fall for one of Sloane’s tricks. Why doesn’t she just move on and quit trying to torture me?

“You know what sucks?” Jentry asks, stopping her eyeliner in mid-air. “She’s almost done with her tasks already. God, I hate overachievers. Present company excluded, of course. She’s being such a kiss up to Lindsay because she wants to be initiated before we are.”

“That’s pretty funny because Lindsay told me that there would only be one ceremony for all three of us.”

“We should have wrecked her car,” Jentry laughs.

“Let’s not even worry about Sloane tonight,” I say even though I know that I’ll be thinking of nothing else, besides Charlie, all night.

“Smile,” she says, pointing her Blackberry at me. In seconds it is on it’s way to my mother’s email account.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I say, pushing her cushiony condiment body through our doorway. We start giggling as we move through the hallway. To my surprise, I’m actually starting to get excited about the party. I decide to start the evening off right before we even get to the Omega house. As we pass Sloane’s door I grab the marker off her wipe board and cross out her self-professed love for Charlie. I recap her marker and throw it against her door. Then I prance out of the dorm like a true princess.

The Omega house is decked out in fake cobwebs, giant spiders, skeletons arranged in obscene positions, and mangled jack o’lanterns. Jentry and I step very carefully over pumpkin guts strung on the front step and let ourselves in the front door. We are greeted by vampires, witches, fairies, guys wearing regular clothes and terrifying masks, black cats, and one guy who is completely naked except for a tube sock over his thing.

“That is so wrong.” Jentry laughs, nearly toppling over pointing at the guy. I will be really happy to meet up with Ron so that he can take responsibility for keeping Jentry upright all night.

As if on queue, Ron waddles up looking jaundice in his mustard costume. They attempt to kiss each other and nearly plow each other over.

“You two have fun now,” I laugh, heading off to find the sisters and to try to spot Charlie. I can’t wait to show off my costume.

Everyone’s costumes are so elaborate that I can barely recognize anyone. It makes me really nervous to think that Charlie could have already seen me without me realizing it. I’m just about to push open the door to the kitchen when an arm draped in black pulls me into a side hallway. I spin around to a face full of fur.