The Amazing Tales of Wildcat Arrows (8 page)

"I thought you just said 5000."

"Yes. As we were speaking, my programming was instantly upgraded via downlink. I am now even more improved."

"How…
What
?"

"Instead of stopping between bouts of lovemaking, I am now able to continue for up to five sessions without taking any time to recharge my thrusters."

"
Good gawd
." Lucky stared at him in fascinated horror.

Spin gave up and just fell to the floor on top of his shed feathers.

Kerreth inclined his head in a slight bow.

"
A
Masterstroke 6000!" Spin managed to lift his head up off the ground. "I heard they were lifelike, Lucky, but I never—! He's a masterpiece!!"

Lucky starred at the strapping robot in awe. "Oh, the humanity."

"Oh, the testosterone!" Spin squawked, then collapsed again.

Lucky put her hands on her hips and shook her head to clear it. "Are you through with us?"

"No."

"I was afraid of that."

"You see, the Masterstroke 5, er, 6000 is different from any of its predecessors. To increase my functioning, my creator imbued my programming with a curiosity of all things. In sexual situations, this curiosity allows me to create more of a craving in women."

Lucky covered her ears. "I don't want to hear this."

"I can create a ravenous desire with the touch of my—"

"La-la-la-la."

Kerreth stood in front of her and gently clasped her wrists, taking her hands down.

His touch was warm and soothing. In fact, it had a strong emulation of life force to it. A good feel.

Part of the realistic programming, Lucky supposed.

The fact that this robot was observing her from under lowered lids unnerved her slightly. Robots shouldn't seem this hunky. Or this sensual.

She might have blushed under his regard—until a line of amusement curled his beautiful, smug lips.

What a tool.

"I can assure you, my programming goes well beyond anything you can imagine," he whispered in a silky, bedroom voice.

Not. Playing. Fair
. A light sheen of sweat dotted Lucky's forehead. How could a stupid machine unnerve her?

There was something totally intimidating about being in this android's crosshairs. It was as if his designers had invented a working recipe for all of the traits she secretly fantasized about and then they went and cooked him up, nice and perfect.

It wasn't right!

They seemed to have produced a work of art that she just had to taste—

No wonder women blew fortunes to come to these posh resorts! Stupid pleasure palaces.

Lucky tried to ignore the sexual wave attack by concentrating on what robo boy was saying.

"…as a special experimental prototype, I was also given the ability to choose my methods of satisfaction."

"
Special prototype
? What does that mean, Spin?"

"Never mind that. Find out about all those methods of satisfaction!" Spin croaked back to her. "Please observe all that first-rate equipment and come to your senses, Lucky-girl."

Lucky coughed. Her expressive eyes threw a warning to the happy-go-lucky Floop. They said:
Stop. Right now. If not, I will either kill you or burst out laughing—and then kill you
.

SpinDrift
fnurr-fnurred
.

The android continued talking as if none of this was going on in front of him.

"… because of this, I have begun to grow weary of servicing so many females."

"That is a chore, isn't it?" Lucky stretched her arms and yawned.

"I am overwhelmed with the task load."

She shook her head as if she were agreeing with the cross-wired twit. "An android as fine as you must be a very busy boy-droid."

"He gives a deeper meaning to the term; remember that." Spin pulled himself up off the floor.

Lucky rolled her eyes.

"On the bad days I lose count, mistress." His impossibly beautiful eyes gleamed mischievously under impossibly long lashes.

"Poor dear. How many do you have to 'do' on average?" Lucky was being bad, but this misfiring doof really asked for it.

"I am—
excuse me
?"

"How many women do you have to service at one time? Or…" She tapped her finger on her lip. "Is it just women?"

Kerreth's mouth dropped opened but nothing came out.

"Come now, an android—especially a pleasure android—should not be shy."

He seemed to bristle "I am strictly designed for women," he responded flatly.

"Of course you are."

Kerreth squinted at her, clearly not liking her reply.

What a riot.

"So, how many women are we talking about? That massive number that you 'grow so weary of?"

Kerreth blinked. Twice. How had the conversation devolved into this? What kind of range
did
a pleasure droid have any way? He scratched his arm.

Perhaps they hit a stride and went with it?

Or… maybe they kind of levelled up? Lucky mongrels.

He'd better say something before she got suspicious. "I can assure you that you would tire out long before I do."

SpinDrift took offense at that assessment. After all, Lucky was his best friend in all the galaxies! The android's statement hinted at an insult.

SpinDrift crossed his wiry arms. "Hmf! I'll have you
know my Lucky is the most active female in twenty-six quadrants!"

Lucky coughed.

Kerreth quirked his brow and regarded the woman in a new, interested light. "Is that so?" he drawled.

"You are not helping me here." Lucky cleared her throat. "Ahem. Are you sure this desire you have to explore is not a design flaw? You may have a glitch in your program or even a
No-No-Nanite
virus."

"Wasn't that a play on Robot Theater 3K? I'm sure of it, Lucky… it was an all
droid revue and—
ouch
!"

Lucky kicked Spin. "Shush!"

Kerreth, realizing that he was in the presence of two spaceheads, decided to move the conversation along in the direction he needed it to go.

He didn't care what he had to say—he was getting on their ship.

"I do wish to explore new experiences, naturally. You will find me an enjoyable and gifted experience." He gazed down at her and winked lazily. "I will make it so for you."

The most beautiful looking male to ever proposition her and he had several gears loose! Literally. Yeah, sure, she needed a whackjob pleasure droid getting underfoot…

Like she needed a dose of
buggeritis type II
!

Why do things like this always happen to her?

If they didn't have to leave Slide quickly, this actually would have been amusing. The android was almost winning her over with the ridiculousness of his situation.

But bring him onto the Sugarbabe?

Good gawd.

Wildcat would kill her.

"If you take me with you, I will help you on your ship. I have been programmed on many aspects of machinery. You will not regret it. Please, I must leave here."

"Look,
Slick
, even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I'm sorry. You're the property of the Slide consortium. They wouldn't take kindly to me stealing such an expensive piece."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew how they sounded. She flushed.

"Piece of equipment," she amended.

"Oh, for suck's sake, Lucky, take him. How can you leave that face and body behind? It will haunt you forever, girl. He just wants to be free. He's—he's asking you for asylum!"

"Spin, he is an android. This is not some dramatic bid for sanctuary. He is a machine. You are overreacting."

"You don't know that. Besides…" He leaned in and whispered so loudly that there was no way the android could not hear him. "Once he's on the ship he can do double duty—if you get my drift. Just think of it, your own private Masterstroke 6000. With no complications."

She hesitated. It sounded almost too good to be true. There were always complications.

Especially
when Spin was around! The Floop had a way of making the most outrageous stuff sound perfectly okay.

"I will do what he says and more, mistress." Kerreth looked her over from head to toe. "Gladly."

The android smiled rather suggestively at her.

Chills skittered down her spine.

Something in that smouldering look did her in.

Sensing her confusion, Kerreth slyly added, "I have already disengaged my link from the main computer. They will not discover I am missing for several nights. By that time, we could be long gone."

Lucky chewed the inside of her cheek, mulling it over. She hated to abandon anyone; especially someone who had specifically
asked
to be set free. She had strong feelings about freedom—a trait she and her brother both shared.

If she left him, she would feel guilty over it forever.

"Won't they wonder what happened to you when you don't show up for periodic maintenance or appointments?"

"They will assume I had to be scrapped. I have seen this happen before. There will be no risk to you." Kerreth closed the deal by softening the expression in his eyes, instantly placing himself in the heart-tugging category of an abandoned pup.

A little cry of sympathy issued from SpinDrift. "I don't know about you, but I am not leaving him!"

Hook. Line. And sinker
. Lucky wanted to give in too. Shoot, Wildcat would
kill
her. Her brother still hadn't gotten over SpinDrift. And that was ten years ago!

The android gave her a big grin of pearly whites. "You will be most pleased with this decision, mistress."

"Look, I appreciate your need for new experiences—if I had to do what you do, I'd go nutzoid too. But. You belong to the Slide Corporation. It wouldn't be right to take you with us. I'm sorry."

He stared deeply into her eyes. He spoke beguilingly."You would leave me to languish here forever?"

Lucky swallowed. Why did she feel for this machine? She was getting dewy-eyed over a blender. She was hopeless.

"Well… I…"

Sensing that she was weakening, Kerreth honed in on the finish. "I would be invaluable to you on your ship. I can do many things for you. I can learn. You must need help with something on your ship?" His eyes actually became moist. It was a terrific touch.

Lucky's lips parted. "Well…"

"Flickerin' finishes, Lucky! Let him come with us! I can't take anymore!" SpinDrift sobbed out loud, wiping his eyes with a scraggly feather he plucked out of his side.

And that was how Kerreth vos Volent got aboard the Sugarbabe.

The Sugarbabe

He was not going to get his own cabin.

Or any cabin for that matter.

Apparently androids did not warrant accommodations. Even legendary Masterstroke 6000's.

Once Kerreth got on board their ship, it hadn't taken him long to realize that the
Sugarbabe
was a ragtag clunker of a scow glued together with various piles of scrap parts from the asterheap junkyards.

He hoped it was space-worthy.

They had a long trip ahead of them and there were few way stations along the journey. None of them safe.