Authors: Ruth Hartzler
Esther returned with two hot chocolates and a plate of pumpkin whoopie pies.
"You like your
menner
plump, do you Esther? You're always trying to fatten me up."
Esther laughed. Jacob loved looking at Esther's face when she laughed. Her whole face lighted up, her blue eyes shone, and tiny little creases formed around her eyes.
"Your
mudder
wasn't happy to see me, as we predicted," he said. "I hope she has no objection to us getting married." Jacob carefully studied Esther's face for her reaction. So far, she appeared quite puzzled.
Esther leaned over to Jacob and whispered, "Do you think she's listening from the other room?"
Jacob just winked at her.
Psalm 90:8.
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
Chapter 8
.
Esther lay in the summer sun. The soft breeze stirred the surface of the pond, while ducks raced here and there, through the rustling reeds. Jacob tied his horse, Barney, to a low branch, leaving him in the pleasant shade, and returned to their picnic spot on the grass. Esther smoothed down her simple dress, happy to watch as Jacob unpacked the basket. For their picnic by the pond, he had brought sandwiches and lemonade, meat pies and stuffed peppers, baked corn and scalloped sweet potatoes.
"Thank you for going to so much trouble," said Esther, sleepily. The sun pressed upon her bare face, and it made her feel tired and content. The company helped her good mood, too. When Jacob had asked her to go on a buggy ride with him, she was a little hesitant at first, though it would help her with the Amos situation. Martha and Rebecca would tease her about falling in love with Jacob, she had no doubt. She had decided to go in the end and now felt very happy with her choice.
Jacob handed her a cooling glass of lemonade. "No problem," he replied with a mischievous wink. "I hope Martha and Rebecca don't tease you too much."
"Sometimes I think that you can read my mind."
She watched Jacob eat his meat pie, fascinated by the freckles splattering his nose. In the summertime, all the Hostetler brothers were baked golden by their work with their father on the farm, so his freckles would often be camouflaged by the tan. Esther could not remember if she had ever sat this close to Jacob before; perhaps the summer light drew out all these little curiosities about a person you could never see in the dimmer months.
"I wish I could," Jacob said, after a minute. He took a sip of his lemonade. "Then I wouldn't have to ask you so many questions."
"You want to ask me questions?" Esther replied, not able to keep the surprise out of her voice.
"Sure. Like, how come you agreed to a buggy ride with me today, when you know Martha and Rebecca are going to spend the next week teasing you endlessly? Surely Amos is not that bad?"
Amos is that bad, and some people are worth all the teasing in the world
, thought Esther. "I don't mind the teasing," she said, although it wasn't quite true. "It's worth it for lemonade this good. I still can't believe how much trouble you went to. Even Barney seems to be enjoying himself."
"He's a good horse," replied Jacob, simply.
They watched as Barney lazily flicked away flies with the sweep of his tail. The ducks, curious about the pair sitting by their pond, waddled over to steal the crusts of the sandwiches now. Esther laughed as the smallest, although the most courageous, duck nipped at the crumbs dropped by its larger friends. Jacob watched her while she laughed, and she could feel the blush creeping into her cheeks.
"Have you always had freckles?" she blurted out, desperate to break the quiet.
"Oh." Jacob hesitated. He was surprised, perhaps, by the randomness of her question. "Actually, I did not know I had freckles?"
"Millions of them."
"Oh, good," he replied, his crooked grin making Esther's heart flutter. She laughed, too. "Girls like freckles?" He turned and gazed at Esther with a sudden intensity. "Girls do like freckles, don't they?"
"They would like your freckles," whispered Esther, placing a hand on her prayer
kapp
to make sure no curls had escaped. It also meant she could shade her face with the palm of her hand. She really was blushing now, and the intense gaze of Jacob was not helping. "I mean, all the girls love the Hostetler brothers, don't they?"
"You don't need
all
the girls to love you. Just the right one," said Jacob. He no longer smiled now. Esther wished he would. The sight of his signature grin made her melt.
"I appreciate you doing this for me," she volunteered. "I hate to be dishonest with our families and friends, but what else can I do when everyone wants me to marry Amos?"
"I'd do anything to stop you from marrying Amos. Wait. No. I only meant that I would do anything to help you avoid a marriage your heart was not in. That's all. I have nothing against Amos, even if he is good looking." Jacob did smile now, though a little sheepishly. "Besides I get to spend a nice day with a beautiful girl. It's a win all around for me."
"You're not so bad yourself," Esther said.
Jacob swallowed hard. "It's none of my business, and it is probably a really silly question, but how come you're not interested in Amos? Is there - there is not someone else, is there?"
"No," Esther said, quickly. She took a sip of the lemonade while Jacob fixed his gaze upon her. "There's no spark with Amos, Jacob. I'm not interested in him at all, though I couldn't give you a solid reason why. I keep coming back to the lack of a connection. It isn't a reason I can tell my
familye
though. My
mudder
just doesn't understand such things as true love."
"Your mother really is set on you marrying Amos, isn't she?"
"She is. I don't know if this plan's even going to stop her matchmaking ways. I wish it would. If I married Amos, I fear it would be a very unhappy marriage. I don't want to raise my children in an unhappy home."
"I can't wait to have
kinner
," replied Jacob, with a sigh.
Esther imagined Jacob with children. "You'd make a very good father," she said, placing the picnic things back in the basket. "I hope you find someone who will make a good
mudder
to your children."
"I think I already have," he replied, quietly, and Esther did not hear him.
1 Corinthians 4:5.
Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.
Chapter 9
.
"Amos is coming to dinner tonight." Mrs. Miller banged a saucepan as she made the pronouncement.
"Again? But he was only just here the other day." Esther screwed up her nose at her
mudder.
"Why does he have to come again?" She knew she sounded whiny and rude, but she just did not care. It was simply intolerable that her
mudder
would continue with her matchmaking attempts when she clearly knew that she had gone on more than one buggy ride with Jacob.
Mrs. Miller stomped her foot, and her eyes blazed. "Mind your manners, Esther. I shall invite anyone I choose to share our table."
Esther walked away from her
mudder
shaking her head. Sometimes it was no use arguing with her. Her
mudder
never really listened to her and besides, she could never see anyone's point of view but her own.
"Mind you, I'll need some help with the cooking."
Esther heard her
mudder's
comment as she walked away. "
Jah, Mamm
." It was obvious that her
mudder
was going to credit Esther with the cooking once more in an effort to impress Amos. That was a ploy that was too obvious to bother complaining about. Her
mudder
would just brush her words aside, even if she attempted to protest.
"And Esther, put on a clean dress for dinner – and clean yourself up a little." Her
mudder's
voice echoed through the
haus
.
"
Jah, Mamm
," Esther called in reply, yet she had no intention of going to any trouble whatsoever for Amos or for anyone else who her
mudder
might invite to dinner.
Once Esther was in her room she pulled off the dress she had been in all day and pulled on a fresh one. That was the least she would do to keep her
mudder
happy with her. She knew if she went down in the same dress, her
mudder
would only send her back to get changed. Esther sighed.
Why can't Mamm let me choose my own mann?
she thought. Esther did not even want to court anyone, but if she did, she was certain that she would not want anyone's help. Things like that just happen – she was certain of that.
Esther had only been in her room a few short moments before her
mudder
called for her again. "I'm coming,
Mamm
," she called.
Esther hurried into the kitchen and pulled on a large apron that was used for cooking, a different one from those used for daywear. "What would you like me to do?"
Her
mudder
turned around with a wooden spoon held in the air and ran her eyes up and down Esther, clearly not happy with what she saw. "Did you wash?"
"
Jah
." Esther's eyes dropped to the floor. She had just lied to her
mudder
, but she could not go to a lot of fuss to wash before dinner. Esther always washed just before bedtime and she was not going to have a double washing just because her
mudder
was trying to push her onto a
mann
who was totally unsuited to her.
"
Gut
, and that dress is a
gut
color for you." Her
mudder
turned back to the saucepan in front of her, obviously forgetting Esther's question about what she wanted her to do.
Esther pulled out one of the chairs in the kitchen and slumped into it. She knew that her
mudder
liked to be the only one to do all the cooking on special occasions. Esther knew she would only be doing a tiny bit here and there to make it appear that she had cooked.
"You can shell the peas for me." Her
mudder
pointed to the green pods in the sink.
"
Jah, Mamm
." Esther tried to make her tone as even as possible, as she knew that her
mudder
would take exception to her tone, no matter how even it was.
"What's wrong with you, Esther? Don't you know all the trouble I'm going to for you?"
Esther sighed. Her
mudder
was clearly in one of her moods. "I just said –
jah, Mamm
."
Her mother slammed her wooden spoon down. "It was the way you said it. Sometimes I don't know why I bother."
There was nothing Esther could say, so she thought it best to stay silent and let her
mudder
have her say.
Mrs. Miller face grew redder and redder. "I just want you to make a
gut
marriage and Amos is such a lovely boy."
Esther toyed with the idea of telling her
mudder
that marriage was the furthest thing from her mind, and that even if it wasn't, then she would be quite capable of choosing her own
mann
. She decided against it - what was the point? It would only make her
mudder
angry.
"Well, don't you think so?"
"
Jah, Mamm
. I mean, I guess so."
As Esther shelled the peas, she wondered why her
mudder
still held such a dislike for the Hostetler
familye
. Her
daed
had been able to forgive them, so why couldn't her
mamm
? Besides, the ministers always said that unforgiveness was a grave sin.
"
Mamm
, don't be angry with me, but I must say this."
Her
mudder
turned around with her nostrils flaring. "What is it?" she snapped.
"You know that I've gone on buggy rides with Jacob, don't you?"
Her
mudder
stood staring at her and said coldly, "What of it?"
"It's a little odd that you bring a boy to dinner when I'm going on buggy rides with another boy." Esther considered herself very brave by bringing the obvious to her
mamm's
attention.
Her
mudder
didn't say a word, but turned back to stirring a pot on the stove. She stirred it a little too vigorously, causing the contents to spray out.
After Esther had helped her
mudder
in the kitchen for a while, she heard the sound of a buggy. The buggy had to be Amos arriving for dinner. Esther had to admit she was a little pleased that he had arrived, not because she liked him, but because her
mudder
was giving her the silent treatment. The last half hour cooking in the kitchen with her
mudder
had been quite tense.
"I'll go let him in," Esther said to her
mudder
. Her
mudder
remained silent with the same fixed, stony expression on her face.
Esther hurried to the door, glad to have finally escaped her
mudder's
anger. "Come in, Amos."
"Nice to see you again, Esther."
Jah, 'Nice to see you again so soon,' is what he should have said,
Esther thought.
Amos has to think it odd that he's been asked for dinner again, and so soon.
After Esther's
mudder
rang the dinner bell, everyone gathered around the table and took their seats. The dinner bell was an old, brass cow bell that Esther's
daed
had recently found in the fields and given to her
mudder
. The noise it made rather grated on Esther's nerves, but tonight was not the time to voice her views on the cow bell.
Esther wondered what on earth she could talk to Amos about, since she was sure she had exhausted everything that they could possibly talk about last time he was there for dinner. Thankfully Amos and Martha seemed to be having a nice little chat amongst themselves.
Esther examined her
schweschder's
face as she spoke to Amos. There was a definite sparkle in her eyes and every now and then there was a little flutter of her eyelashes. It seemed to Esther that there was something happening between the two of them and she looked at her
mudder
to see if she had any inkling of what was happening.
As Esther caught her
mudder's
eye, her
mudder
interrupted Amos and Martha. "Amos, did I mention to you that Esther cooked the bean and beef casserole?"
A chill ran through Esther's body, and if she could have crawled under the table, she would have. It was an exact replica of the previous time that Amos had been invited to dinner, and no less embarrassing for the both of them.
"It's very
gut
, Esther," was Amos's polite reply before he went back to speaking to Martha. "Can you cook well too, Martha?"
"I don't know how well I cook, but I'm going to have my own chocolate business."
Esther noticed her
mudder
moved uncomfortably in her seat. That was obviously not the response she was hoping for.
Esther was relieved when the time came for her to place the cheesecake and shoo-fly pies on the table, as it signaled that dinner had nearly come to an end. She would not have too much longer to endure her
mudder's
enthusiastic matchmaking.
* * *
Later in the week, Esther was hanging out laundry. Black clouds were gathering in the sky, and Esther wanted the washing to dry before the storm hit. Esther loved thunderstorms, the feeling of serenity in the air, the feeling of anticipation, and the change in the air's atmosphere.
Esther heard the sound of footsteps, and turned to see Jacob. Her heart always beat a little faster when Jacob was around.
"
Hullo
, Esther."
"
Hiya
, Jacob. You appeared out of nowhere; I didn't hear you drive up." She looked long and hard at Jacob. His usual smile was gone.
"I've been trying to get a break in work to speak to you for a while. I heard you had Amos over for dinner again."
Esther screwed up her nose. "
Jah
, my
mudder
invited him again."
Jacob looked down at his feet. "Doesn't she know about us? Haven't you told her?"
Esther stared into his face and saw that his usual crooked smile was replaced by a worried frown. "Jacob, you look so worried. It's as if you think that we're dating – for real." Esther laughed, and pinned a shirt on the line.
Jacob's head hung low.
"Jacob Hostetler, we are pretending to date and nothing more."
Surely he wasn't mistaken about our deal,
she thought.
Nee, of course he knew that we were pretending to date and nothing more.
Jacob's chin came up. "
Jah
, of course I know that. I'm just thinking of you and making it real. If we were dating for real and your
mudder
kept trying to match you up with someone else, then I'd be upset, wouldn't I?"
Esther was ashamed of what she had just said to Jacob. He was trying to help her and she'd taken it the wrong way. "Forgive my harsh words, Jacob."
"No words that come from your mouth could ever be harsh, Esther."
Esther looked into his eyes as he spoke and she saw a gentleness that she had never seen in another person before. She considered that
Gott
had blessed her with a
gut
and kind friend.