Authors: Lisa Phillips
You need to sleep, Alyssa.
"So do you, Xander," she told him. He turned and started to leave the room. "Xander?"
He stopped. "Yes?"
"Don't go," she pleaded. "I'll feel safer if you stay with me."
He smiled. "As you wish, milady." His thoughts danced with a collage of colors, most of which she didn't understand, but she could guess at their meaning. He sat down on the bed with her. She curled up beside him and closed her eyes. "You are going to make it difficult for me to behave, aren't you?"
"I want to hear your heart beat," she admitted. "It's such a soothing sound." She wanted to rest her head on his chest the way she had with Nevar. Only when she had been held close had she been able to sleep without the nightmares and walking the planes, but Nevar's chest had been eerily silent, the way hers was now. Xander's heart was steadily pumping it's low and practiced rhythm. It made her incredibly jealous.
He heard the sadness in her thoughts and wrapped his arms around her. "The wolf still has a heartbeat. You have not lost it." She clung to him, pressing her ear to his chest. Her body was fighting her, desperate to let the tears flow, but she was too stubborn.
It was the wolf in her that refused. He sensed it in her. She had strength beyond her wildest imaginations. As a human, the two would have been entwined together, intricately woven to create a whole. Now, they were torn from one another, both wounded from the split and neither whole on their own.
Her mind was just as intricate as her being. Part of her thoughts were the regular patterns of humans, but expanded with her vampiric abilities. The other was the wolf. This part understood him and his thoughts, but he could tell there was a lot lost in the translation. There were large gaps in her understanding and he felt her frustration. "Shh," he whispered. "Please, Alyssa, you need to sleep. My thoughts are not so interesting that you must stay awake to analyze them."
She chuckled softly and he felt like she had lifted a weight from him that he had not even noticed was there to start with. He laid her down on the pillow, but she held onto him. He was amazed by how comfortable her arms felt around him.
Nevar had all but laid a claim on her already, but who was he to deny her the comfort of a warm body? He felt her nuzzle his chest and her thoughts drifted off into sleep. He settled in beside her and soon joined her in sleep. She ran through the woods as the wolf and he ran with her feeling the thrill of the hunt. In the back of his mind, he heard the fury, but did not know, nor did he care, from where it came. Tonight, Alyssa was his.
Nevar was perched high in a tree overlooking the estate. His black plumage had a brilliant blue sheen against the morning sun. Only the raven could stand the sunlight. His eyes surveyed the scenery for signs of Gabriel, but his mind was elsewhere.
So many nights, he had cursed what he was but never more than now. Alyssa had fallen asleep in Xander's arms. His slow heartbeat was her lullaby. He couldn't blame the werewolf. He had done as he had asked him. He was furious with himself, and at Matthias for making him this way.
Finding Matthias was critical for Alyssa, but the thought of seeing the monster who turned him again made Nevar's skin crawl. It was because of Matthias he had met Xander in the first place. If not for him, he would have died long ago and joined his family.
He had been living in a void since their death, but Alyssa had thrown his world upside down. He felt like she was slipping away from him. He wanted her more than he had wanted any woman. He had loved his wife. She had been beautiful and submissive, desirable qualities in his time. She was mostly self-sufficient in his frequent absences as well and he had loved her, but Alyssa was different.
She was beautiful and smart, strong and independent, intriguing and curious all at the same time. He had felt it in her before. She wanted him, too, but now she was in the arms of another man. He tried to tell himself that she was scared and needed the comfort. It did him little good.
His goal was to get her to Matthias as soon as possible. If she could control her power, she wouldn't be afraid any longer and she would never have a reason to seek comfort in Xander's arms. The thought that scared him was that she may not need his anymore, either.
Alyssa woke up slowly. She was warm and comfortable. When she opened her eyes, she saw an expanse of bronze muscles adorned with tiny golden curls. Her hand was already dancing on the plains of his chest but she willed it to cease.
"Why did you stop?"
Xander. Xander? It came to her slowly. She had fallen asleep in his arms, not Nevar's. Xander had chased away the dreams so she could sleep. He had done his job maybe a little too well. She had slept deeply and her mind was unwilling to return to wakefulness.
Her pillow shook with laughter. She was on his chest, she realized. "If only all my jobs were as enjoyable..." The words rumbled from his chest softly. She lingered for another moment before sitting upright to stretch. She remembered his fight with Gabriel and looked at his collarbone. It was perfectly healed and had left no scar to be seen.
"Did you sleep well? I didn't keep you up, did I?"
"Not at all. I slept as well as you did. To be honest, I think it was the best I've slept in years."
"Where's Nevar?"
Xander never had time to answer. As soon as the words had left her lips, a thin mist seeped into the room. A moment later, Nevar was standing by her side. "I was waiting for an invitation," he said.
His tone and expression tore her heart to pieces. She almost started to cry. She didn't want him to be upset, but she understood his jealousy. She needed to learn how to fight off the nightmares on her own without being coddled like a child. Xander placed his hand over hers and she heard the cryptic thoughts he sent her. He was her protector, the wolf standing beside her. He showed her that she had the strength of the wolf in her. She was cunning and brave and he saw the strength of her heart. The last part was hard for her to understand. She was the moon in the night sky and all the stars hid their faces from her light and he howled to her a lonely song. She thought it meant he was envious, but it could have meant many things.
"Alyssa?"
"Yes, Nevar?"
"Your thoughts have changed. You think like Xander does, all pictures and chaotic colors."
"Wait," she said, confused. "You mean, you don't understand them? I didn't until I changed into the wolf, but I assumed it was an animal thing."
"No, I think it is a werewolf thing. Damn it. I think I know why you do not follow any of the typical patterns of a new vampire."
"What do you mean, Nevar?" Xander asked.
"Alyssa, what do you know of your parents?"
She thought for a moment. "Not much, really. I know they were madly in love and that they disappeared when I was very young. Their bodies were never found. There were lots of rumors about their death: drowned in a river, lost in the woods, abducted, or murdered, but they were never able to say for sure. Grandma said they never would have abandoned me, so she was sure whatever had happened, they were never coming back. Why?"
"I think one of your parents must have been a werewolf."
"That would explain a lot," Xander agreed. "Like her animal form, for one."
Alyssa was speechless. It was a lot to take in. Could it be possible that she had been half Were all this time and never known? She had always had an affinity for animals and she had always had a kind of gift with them, but she hadn't thought there was any special reason behind it. She had to fight to keep her animal instincts in check, particularly her physical needs, and she had noticed the beast get stronger after Nevar had turned her. Was that why she stared out her balcony at the moon night after night? It was beautiful and peaceful, she thought, but had there been more to it than that?
Xander answered in her thoughts. She had been seeking something she had lost, a part of her buried deep inside. When Nevar changed her, she had been ripped apart. She was wolf and vampire. Neither of them were whole by themselves, but it made her stronger by far than any werewolf or vampire alone.
"Werewolves can't walk the planes, can they?" she asked.
Xander was onto her thought pattern and jumped ahead of her, "No, they can't, so if you sleep as the wolf, you won't travel!"
"I think that is why the amulet picked you over Gabriel as well," Nevar said, a note of foreboding in his tone. "It is attracted to power. Gabriel is one of the oldest vampires alive, next to Matthias, and he is very powerful. He may have known what you were before we did. That would explain why he left after you transformed."
"How could he have known if we didn't?" she asked.
"Do not underestimate Gabriel. We should assume he knows and be prepared. That is the only explanation for him leaving like that," Nevar answered.
"Nevar's right," Xander joined in. "It's not like Gabriel to back down from a fight or give up a pursuit for anything. You saw how easily he took me down. He was prepared for a fight and we weren't."
As much as she hated to admit it, everything they were telling her made perfect sense. She wondered which of her parents had been a werewolf and how they had managed to keep it hidden. She also wondered if it had anything to do with their sudden disappearance. Xander, the wolf, nuzzled her in her thoughts.
There was a part of her mind that she was keeping secret. It wasn't hard, really. Holding one small shield was far simpler than maintaining a large one. It was such a small part of her mind, she doubted that either of them realized she was doing it. It was no wonder her heart was torn two ways, she thought. The vampire wanted Nevar, but the wolf in her wanted Xander. She wondered secretly which of the two was stronger.
"Speaking of being prepared, we should get ready," Nevar stated. "You need to feed, Alyssa."
"I'm not really hungry," she noticed as she said it.
"You should eat anyway," Xander told her. "If you face Gabriel again, you'll need the extra energy."
"If we go looking for Matthias, we will have to bring the medallion with us, won't we?"
"Yes," Nevar's tone was less than thrilled. "It seems to have chosen you as its new owner, so you must carry it. I doubt it will abide by myself or Xander."
"I was afraid you'd say that," she answered. It was strange. She was terrified of the amulet, but at the same time, she longed to wear it again. She knew the power it contained and could feel it coursing through her. It was no wonder Gabriel wanted the amulet back.
They all disbursed and went about getting ready. Alyssa pulled her phone out of her bag and dialed Jessie's number. It was cutting it close, but she made her deadline.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jess. It's me."
"Hey! How are you doing? You must have hidden yourself really well this time! I haven't seen any photos of you in days."
"Yeah, the paparazzi hasn't found me yet, thankfully."
"Have you been thinking about this movie offer? They have been calling me like crazy trying to get an answer."
"I have thought about it a little. You said it would be about a month before they start shooting?"
"Well, a month and a half before they shoot the first scene, but you know how these things go. You've got your rehearsals and such before they try to get a final cut."
"How soon did they want me down there?"
"I could get you there as soon as a month from now, but I don't have a deadline for you. Why are you so concerned about time? This is what you've been waiting for, isn't it?"
"I was waiting for something, but they are throwing this at me pretty fast. I usually have more time to prepare and get into my character and I usually like to read the script before I agree to play a part."
"Oh, Alyssa, I'm sorry. You're absolutely right! I'll get you a script right away and I'll see if I can pull some strings. They may be able to shoot the scenes you won't be in first to give you more time."
"Thanks, Jess. Talk to you later, okay?"
"Love ya, Lyss! Bye!"
She made sure her phone was on silent then slid it into her bag and packed a spare set of clothes. Looking into Nevar's gilded mirror, she pulled her long black hair up into a modified ponytail, leaving the ends of her hair tied in the knot making it look like a bun. She was radiant as she gazed at her reflection. She would have killed for looks like this when she was human. The allure of being a vampire was a nice plus, but, besides changing into a wolf, what attributes had she gained from her were genes?
I'm sure you'll find out soon enough,
Xander's voice echoed in her head.
Are you ready?
As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose,
she sent back. They met up in Nevar's sitting room and proceeded upstairs.
"I can't travel by mist," Xander told her. "I'll only slow you down."
"We don't need to go far to feed, do we? I can go as a wolf. I've been wanting to test my limits a bit." It looked like Nevar wanted to argue when she added, "Besides, it might be helpful if I get some practice in case we have another run-in with Gabriel."
He reluctantly agreed but pointed out, "Your clothing will either be a hindrance or destroyed when you transform. You may have to sacrifice your modesty."