Read The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf Online
Authors: Martin Millar
Empress Kabachetka had warned her servants not to use their powers of teleportation in the hotel. None of them were used to being on the Planet Earth. It was quite likely that if they tried to teleport, they'd get lost, or end up transporting themselves into the middle of a concrete wall.
Nonetheless, Distikka took the risk and teleported out of the lift. She knew she couldn't reappear directly in the ballroom, but Distikka was wise enough to have prepared for such an emergency. Before the ball started, she'd found a small cupboard in an employees' washroom in the basement that looked as if it had not been used for some time.
She materialized silently in the cupboard, then emerged into the corridor. She hurried up the stairs in the direction of the ballroom. Once there, she made her way around the edges of the crowd. It took her a while to reach the Empress. Kabachetka had been waltzing with Mr. Dewar and was now leading him off the dance floor while keeping a watchful eye out for the Fire Queen. Malveria was no doubt lurking nearby, waiting for an opportunity.
Distikka appeared. “Empress, I need to talk to you.”
“Did she just call you Empress?” asked Mr. Dewar.
“A family nickname,” said Distikka smoothly, realizing her mistake.
“This is not a good timeâ” began the Empress.
Distikka whispered in the Empress's ear, for which she had to stand on tiptoe.
Empress Kabachetka frowned. “I see.” She turned to her partner. “Mr. Dewar, I must attend to something. Please excuse me. I will be back as soon as I can.”
With that, Empress Kabachetka and Distikka hurried off.
“How rude to just leave you like that,” said Malveria, appearing as if by magic. She slipped her arm through Mr. Dewar's. “I expect her feet are troubling her. Poor Señorita Kabachetka does suffer from an unfortunate malformation of the feet, and cannot dance for long. A side effect of all that mining for gold, I believe. Shall we share a bottle of champagne?”
Sarapen finally appeared. “Sorry I took so long,” he said.
“Did you learn anything?”
“Handmaiden Alchet is warming herself in the sunroom. She has a morbid fear of rain. She left her engagement diary in the changing room. I could only glance at it quickly before the servants became suspicious. Most of the entries were for court events, but about two weeks ago there was an entry saying âGloucester Place.'”
“Gloucester Place? What about it?”
“Nothing. Just these words. There's no Gloucester Place in this realm, so it might relate to somewhere in London.”
Dominil's attention was suddenly alerted by a frantic banging on the outside door, loud enough to permeate the whole suite.
“Thank you, Sarapen. That may be very useful. I must go.”
“I could try talking to Alchet if you like.”
“I must leave now, before the Empress returns.”
“Then goodbye, Dominil.”
They looked into each other's eyes for a brief moment.
“I'll find some way to bring you back to this world,” said Dominil. Then she touched the jewel, turning off the portal, and hurried from the room. The banging on the door was becoming louder. Dominil ran through the sitting room and the reception room. She unlocked the front door to find Kalix outside.
“I chased off Distikka but she's gone to get Kabachetka!”
Dominil and Kalix ran along the corridor, avoiding the lift and heading for the stairs. They rushed through the door at the top of the stairwell and came face to face with the Empress. Empress Kabachetka's face twitched with anger at the sight of Kalix, but she quickly regained her composure.
“What are you doing on this floor?”
“Visiting acquaintances,” said Dominil.
“Were you trying to burgle my room, vile werewolves?”
Kalix growled. Dominil remained calm.
“Certainly not.”
“You are wasting your time. My sorcery protects my rooms. You cannot pass through it.”
Dominil looked the Empress in the eye. “Then you have nothing to worry about.”
“You will have something to worry about if you bother me in any way,” said the Empress. She held out her hand and a terrible heat permeated the stairwell, choking Dominil and Kalix.
“I'll burn your little werewolf claws off if you oppose me.”
Kalix could not tolerate being insulted and choked with heat. She began to transform into a werewolf, preparing to attack. Dominil placed her arm across her, preventing her. She still looked the Empress in the eye.
“Enjoy the rest of the ball,” she said evenly. “Kalix, let's go.”
Dominil led Kalix down the next flight of stairs, wondering if they were about to be blasted by a bolt of flame. They were perspiring with the heat and gasping for breath by the time they were out of the Empress's sight.
“Thank you for the warning,” said Dominil. “And for chasing off Distikka.”
Kalix was pleased. She hadn't done so badly after all. “Did you learn anything?”
“Possibly,” said Dominil. “We may be nearer to finding the Guild's headquarters.”
They made their way down the stairs.
“A man wanted me to be a model,” said Kalix. “And you and Vex as well.”
“What?”
Kalix took a business card from her pocket and showed it to her cousin. “He said he wanted to hire us.”
“Was he a werewolf hunter? Or some other spy, enemy or conman?”
“I don't think so,” said Kalix. “Why would he be?”
“I'm suspicious of everyone tonight.”
“I think he just thought we were good models. Which is strange, I suppose. I was a terrible model. But you were good.”
“Nothing would induce me to model again,” said Dominil.
As they made their way through the crowds gathered round the entrance to the ballroom, they encountered Moonglow.
“I'm having such a good time!” she enthused.
“You are?” Kalix had been stressed since she arrived at the hotel and couldn't imagine why anyone would be enjoying the evening.
“Definitely! You know how in a film or TV when a straight girl goes out with a gay man and she's pretending to be his girlfriend, she always has a really good time? Because he's like a perfect date so she has the best time ever and wishes he could really be her boyfriend?”
“Uh . . .” said Kalix and Dominil simultaneously.
“Well, it's exactly like that!” enthused Moonglow. “William is the best date ever. I so wish he wasn't gay!” She beamed at them.
“We're here to spy,” said Dominil.
“Right,” said Moonglow, and looked deflated. “Of course. Well, what's next?”
“Where is Daniel?”
Moonglow hadn't seen him for some time.
“We should find him,” said Dominil. “And check on Vex. Moonglow, come with me. Kalix, I'd like you to check on Decembrius in the gardens.”
“I don't want to do that!”
“We're here to work,” said Dominil.
“Fine,” muttered Kalix, and walked heavily back through the reception room toward the gardens. She was interrupted twice in the space of
a few yards by young men who wanted to talk to her.
“I saw you on the catwalk . . . I like your clothes . . . Your hair is so long . . . You're really beautiful, do you model all the time?”
Kalix ignored them, pushing her way past.
“Decembrius better not say anything stupid when I get outside. I've had enough of him and his stupid comments. I'm starting to hate him.”
Dominil and Moonglow made their way toward the corner of the room where Vex and Daniel had last been seen. A young woman in a white ball gown lurched drunkenly into their path, tottering on her high heels. Just before she toppled over, her date came to her rescue. He steadied her, and they stumbled off together.
“Some of these debutantes are really drinking too much,” said Moonglow, moving sharply to avoid another unsteady figure in evening dress. “Look, there's Vex.”
Moonglow and Dominil paused, unsure of whether to approach or not. Vex was tangled up in an embrace with Adviser Bakmer.
“She did say she'd be a good seductress,” said Moonglow. “Should we interrupt?”
“I'm unable to read intimate body language,” said Dominil. “Is Vex attracted to him, or is this part of her spying?”
“I don't know.”
They were joined by the Fire Queen, who raised her eyebrows at the sight of Vex and Adviser Bakmer. Though manners at the ball had relaxed as the evening progressed, most couples who wanted to become physical had headed for the privacy of the gardens. Enquiring glances were being directed at the passionately embracing couple from those nearby.
“My niece would have to make an exhibition of herself,” muttered the Fire Queen. “Really, those shorts may have been acceptable on a catwalk, but they're not at all suitable for wrapping one's legs round one's companion while the Crown Prince of Denmark sits at the next table.”
They were still unsure whether to interrupt, or let Vex carry on. The matter was solved by the imperious arrival of Empress Kabachetka.
“So this is where my staff has got to! Adviser Bakmer, disentangle yourself from that disreputable Hiyasta immediately!”
The Fire Queen bridled. “What do you mean disreputable? You're talking about my niece.”
“A low-born temple prostitute whom you have invited into your palace!” sneered Kabachetka.
“One would not want to examine the Empress's own parentage too closely with regard to temple prostitutes,” retorted Malveria.
“How dare you!” cried the Empress, outraged. “I will have security eject you from the premises and rain down fire on your realm as well!”
“The Empress could not rain down fire on a children's picnic,” said the Fire Queen. She looked toward her niece. “Agrivex. Remove yourself from the uncivilized Hainusta who has so grievously taken advantage of your good nature.”
“Do not call my adviser uncivilized! Adviser Bakmer, for the last time, free yourself from the clutches of that harlot and come with me.”
Adviser Bakmer had drunk a good deal more champagne than he was used to. It took some time for him to realize that the Empress was talking to him. When he finally noticed, he pulled away from Vex very sharply.
“Of course Empress. I was just . . .” He halted, unable to provide any sort of explanation. He stood up unsteadily. People looked on with interest at the scene, the volume of which had temporarily drowned out the orchestra. The Crown Prince of Denmark seemed particularly entertained. Adviser Bakmer sheepishly followed Empress Kabachetka away from the table. Agrivex waved them a cheery goodbye, and then smiled broadly at everyone.
“I told you I'd be a great seductress.”
“Really, Agrivex,” said the Fire Queen. “There are standards of behavior in public.”
Dominil, Moonglow and Malveria sat down at the table.
“Isn't this dance great?” said Vex. “We should come here every week.”
“We're meant to be spying,” said Dominil. “Did you learn anything?”
Agrivex grinned. “Of course. You don't think I was kissing old Bakmer for fun, do you? Look.” She fumbled in her pockets and pulled out several crumpled sheets of paper. “I stole these. Maybe it's secret information!” Vex looked extremely pleased with herself as she handed the papers to Dominil.
“How did you manage to steal them?” asked Moonglow. “You seemed very, uh, occupied.”
“I have a talent for pickpocketing. I learned in the palace.”
“What?” said Malveria.
“I mean I've never done it before,” said Vex.
“Where's Daniel?” asked Moonglow.
No one knew. He'd been sitting at the same table, but Vex had been too occupied to notice him leaving. Moonglow was worried that Gezinka might have kidnapped him, though the Fire Queen did point out that Gezinka was an aristocratic Hainusta, and not known to indulge in kidnapping.
“Maybe they've gone for a walk in the gardens,” said Moonglow. “Were they getting on well?”
Vex didn't know. “I didn't pay much attention. Gezinka was all hostile so I just ignored her.”
“How hostile?” said Moonglow, alarmed. “What if she's done something terrible to Daniel?”
“That is unlikely,” said Dominil. “Nonetheless, we should find him. Vex, these papers look interesting. You did well. Everyone has done well. We may even have learned what we came here to learn. Once we locate Daniel our night will be over.”
It was past midnight when Kalix re-entered the gardens. She could feel the moon, though it was hidden by clouds, and she paused for a second, gathering her strength. With so many people around it took her a few moments to locate Decembrius's scent. As she turned into the shadows and walked through the bushes she trod on something soft.