Read The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf Online
Authors: Martin Millar
“How about Duke Garfire?” suggested Xakthan. “He's very respectable.”
The Fire Queen shuddered. “Please, First Minister. Were I to marry Garfire, I would soon be obliged to kill him before fleeing from an
outraged populace. And the same goes for Stratov and all the rest. What is it about my aristocracy that makes them all so tedious?”
“Is DeMortalis tedious?”
“No. He is witty, handsome, charming and even rather exciting. But he is not respectable, and I just do not see him as a consort. The population would not like it. Or perhaps they would. I can no longer tell. This worry is affecting my judgment. And it is quite ruining my encounter with Donatella.”
“Donatella?”
“Versace,” explained the Fire Queen. “She is involved in the launch of Mr. Takahashi's new fashion line.
“Mr. Takahashi?”
“A young Japanese designer. I've been keenly looking forward to this event, but now I shrink from the affair. Kabachetka will be there, in the company of those fashion editors she has managed to fool with her charitable pretensions. Worse, it is on the very night that the MacRinnalchs are planning their attack. I cannot be charming and beautiful when I'm worried that Thrix may be on the receiving end of a silver bullet.”
“Werewolves are hardy creatures,” said Xakthan. “She'll survive a silver bullet, unless it pierces her heart.”
“That is not very reassuring, First Minister. I fear there will be many silver bullets, and one of them will find her heart. I also fear that Kabachetka may be involved.”
“Why would she be?”
“She still assists the werewolf hunters. Thrix does not fear this. She insists the Empress does not know of the attack. But I am suspicious, Xakthan. I will watch her on the night, and make sure she does not leave to assist the hunters. Which reminds me, is there word from our spies in the Empress's palace?”
“There was an attempt on Sarapen's life. He survived it.”
“Have we managed to give him the means of escape?”
“Not yet. The Empress's agents watch him at all times.”
“Keep trying. I have made a promise to Dominil MacRinnalch.”
“Very good, mighty Queen.”
Thrix and Kalix drove home in silence. Dominil followed them, arriving moments later.
“How did it go?” she asked, in the lift.
“Good. I hid it under the carpet,” said Kalix.
They walked along the corridor to Thrix's apartment.
“Describe the foyer to me,” said Dominil. “We need to know what to expect.”
Kalix told Dominil everything she could remember about the interior of the Guild's headquarters.
“There wasn't much space. There was some old furniture.”
“Did you see any computers?”
“There was one behind the counter.”
“Good. I may be able to get access to their system from there.”
“Not if you have hunters shooting at you,” said Thrix.
“There might be only a single person at the desk in the middle of the night. We may be able to dispose of him quickly without being observed.”
“Are we going to destroy the building as well?” asked Kalix.
“Yes,” said Thrix.
“No,” said Dominil.
“We should set it on fire.” Thrix was insistent. “Why risk leaving anything?”
“We can't burn it down without endangering everyone in the buildings around.”
“The fire brigade will arrive, won't they? They can rescue the neighbors.”
Dominil took out her phone. “I need to let Markus know that we've planted our marker.”
She talked to Markus on the phone for some time. Kalix and Thrix sat in uncomfortable silence. The werewolf sisters had no light conversation to share with each other.
Dominil ended her call. “Everything is in place at the castle. They'll all travel down tomorrow. We attack the night after.”
Dominil asked Kalix if she needed a lift home. Kalix was about to accept the offer when Thrix interrupted.
“Could you stay here for a moment? I need to talk to you about something.”
Kalix eyed Thrix suspiciously. “About what?”
“A private family matter.”
Kalix scowled. She didn't want to be left alone with Thrix. “OK. If I must.”
Dominil left them alone.
“Now I won't get a lift home,” said Kalix.
“When you met your ex-boyfriend in the street, who was with him?”
“Why?”
“I'm curious.”
“It was his brother.”
Thrix stared at Kalix. “His brother? Have you met him before?”
“No. Why?”
“Do you know what he does?”
“Stop asking annoying questions!” cried Kalix.
“I've a good idea what he does,” said Thrix. “He's a werewolf hunter.”
Kalix's eyes opened wide. “What?”
“He's a werewolf hunter. I saw him go into their building.”
“You're making it up.”
“Of course I'm not making it up. Why would I? When you cycled off your ex-boyfriend walked back down the street and his brother went straight into the Guild's building. I saw him take some sort of identity card from his pocket as he went inside.”
“Maybe he was just delivering something.”
“Did he look like a delivery boy?” said Thrix. “You've been going out with the brother of a werewolf hunter!”
“Stop talking rubbish,” said Kalix, angrily. It was ridiculous. How could Manny be related to a werewolf hunter?
“Have you ever asked him what his family does?” asked Thrix.
“No. Why would I?”
“Did you ever tell Manny you were a werewolf?”
“Of course not.”
“Was he ever curious about werewolves?”
“Stop asking stupid questions!” yelled Kalix.
“I wouldn't say they were stupid questions!” Thrix yelled back. “Manny's probably been spying on you all along. How could you be so stupid?”
“I didn't tell him anything! He doesn't know anything about werewolves. It's ridiculous.”
“You've put the whole mission in danger,” said Thrix. “Do you know why I didn't mention this to Dominil? Because she'd have told the council
and the mission would have been cancelled. They'd have said it was too dangerous after you've been spied on.”
“I haven't been spied on.”
“That's what you think. I think you've been going out with a werewolf hunter.”
The sisters glared at each other with loathing.
“You're the one who goes out with werewolf hunters,” said Kalix.
Thrix smiled malevolently. “And look what happened to him.”
Thrix's unfortunate affair with the werewolf hunter Captain Easterly had ended when Kalix killed him.
“You'd better hope your boyfriend doesn't show up during the attack,” said Thrix.
“Don't you do anything to him!”
“Why not? If he's been spying for the Guild, are you just going to let him off?”
Kalix became confused, and was stuck for an answer. She didn't know what she'd do if it turned out to be true. When the MacRinnalchs confronted a werewolf hunter, they killed him. There were no exceptions.
“I don't believe any of it,” said Kalix. “I'm leaving now.”
She stormed out of Thrix's apartment, slamming the door. Thrix poured herself a drink. “Young Manny better not have been spying on us,” she muttered. She sipped her whisky, then laughed. “Maybe it's not so bad. I owe Kalix a dead boyfriend.”
Daniel and Moonglow were shopping in the small supermarket close to their flat.
“Do you think they ever notice our weird shopping patterns when it comes to meat?” asked Moonglow.
“What do you mean?”
“Most of the time we hardly buy any. But around the full moon we always load up with pounds of beef and lamb for Kalix.”
“She does have a powerful appetite when she's a werewolf. But they probably don't notice. When we were working in that supermarket I was struggling just to get through the day.”
Moonglow put a bottle of bleach in her basket, and a packet of four sponge-scrubbers for the kitchen.
“Do we need milk?” she asked.
“Yes. And what's this I hear about William being gay?” said Daniel.
“He's gay,” said Moonglow. “What of it?”
“Aha!” said Daniel, inappropriately loudly. “So you admit it!”
“I was never hiding it.”
“Yes, you were! You deliberately pretended he was Mr. Ideal Boyfriend.”
“He is Mr. Ideal Boyfriend,” said Moonglow.
“Apart from being gay.”
“I suppose so. I don't see what the problem is.”
“The problem is you've been pretending to go out with him and he's gay!”
“I wasn't âpretending to go out with him.' I just helped him out at the ball. He hasn't come out to his parents yet.”
“But you've seen him loads of times after that!”
“Because we get on well. What's wrong with that?”
Daniel came to a halt. “It's no use putting milk in your basket like nothing's wrong. You know you've been pretending to go out with him and deliberately not telling me he was gay.”
“Nonsense,” said Moonglow. “I thought you knew.”
“How would I know?”
“At college he wears badges saying âI'm Gay.'”
“Who reads badges?”
Moonglow shook her head, amazed at Daniel's lack of observation. “What about his T-shirt, you know, the pink one with “Queer” on the front?”
“I thought that was ironic.”
“How would it be ironic?”
“I don't know. Stop obsessing about T-shirts. The point is you've been pretending to go out with someone who's actually gay.”
Mr. Hofmann, head of security at the Avenaris Guild, studied the purple flower suspiciously. He'd been called down to the foyer by Marshall and
Braid from Group Sixteen. While thoroughly examining every inch of the Guild's headquarters, they'd found the flower under the carpet. Mr. Evans from Intelligence arrived a few moments later.
“What is it?”
“A flower. Someone hid it under the carpet.”
“Why would anyone do that?” asked Mr. Evans.
“I don't know,” replied Mr. Hofmann. “But I don't like it.”
They stared at the purple bloom. The lift opened behind them and Mr. Carmichael stepped out.
“I heard there's a security alert. What's happened?”
Mr. Hofmann showed him the flower. “We're wondering if it might be more than just a flower.”
Mr. Carmichael nodded. “Who found it?”
“Marshall and Braid.”
“Good work.”
Mr. Carmichael carefully took the flower from Hofmann and examined it. He was the oldest member of the board, the oldest serving member of the Avenaris Guild. In his lifetime of hunting werewolves, he'd seen things that few of the others had.
“Looks normal. But I doubt that it is. Ask Ms. Leclair to come here at once.”
Nicole Leclair, a Frenchwoman, was currently employed as esoteric adviser to the Avenaris Guild. The Guild did not have much recourse to sorcery, but in their business of hunting werewolves, they did encounter it on occasion. Ms. Leclair was not a sorceress herself, but she claimed to have knowledge of the magical arts. Where she had obtained this knowledge was not widely known. Ms. Leclair arrived, dressed in a black business suit, the fashionable cut of which rather emphasized the lack of style exhibited by the senior members of the board. She declined to touch the flower, but had Mr. Carmichael place it back on the floor, then knelt to examine it. The examination went on for quite a long time, leading to some frustration from Mr. Hofmann and Mr. Evans, neither of whom were sympathetic to sorcery, and who both privately suspected that Ms. Leclair made it up as she went along.
“It's a portal,” she announced, finally. “A means of opening a pathway.”
There were some skeptical looks exchanged among the men around her. Mr. Carmichael, however, was not skeptical.
“A pathway? From where?”
“I can't tell. It could be placed anywhere nearby.”
“Can people walk through this pathway?”
“I believe so.”
“But that's impossible,” protested Mr. Evans. “You can't use sorcery in this building, everyone knows that.”