The Arabian Nights (New Deluxe Edition) (46 page)

The following night Shahrazad said:

It is related, O King, that when the tailor and his wife saw the hunchback in this condition, drunk and reeking of wine, now singing, now beating the tambourine, they were delighted with him and invited him home to sup and drink with them that night. He accepted gladly and walked with them to their home.

Then the tailor went to the market—it was already dark—and bought bread, fried fish, radishes, lemons, and a bowl of honey, as well as a candle to give them light during their carousing. When he returned, he set the bread and fish before the hunchback, and the wife joined them for supper. The tailor and his wife were pleased to have the hunchback with them, saying to each other, “We will spend the night carousing, bantering, and amusing ourselves with this hunchback.” They ate until they were satisfied. Then the tailor took a piece of fish and, cramming it in the hunchback's mouth, held it shut and said laughing, “By God, you must swallow the whole piece.” The hunchback, unable to breathe, could not wait to chew, and he hastened to swallow the piece, which happened to have a large bone, which stuck in his throat and choked him. When the tailor saw the hunchback's eyes rolled up, he raised his hand and boxed him on the chest, and the hunchback's soul left his body and he slumped lifeless. The tailor and his wife were stunned and, trembling, said, “There is no power and no strength, save in God, the Almighty, the Magnificent. How soon was his appointed hour!” The wife said to her husband the tailor, “Why do you sit still and do nothing? Haven't you heard the poet say:

How can you sit and let the fire rage on?

Such idleness brings ruin and destruction.”

The tailor asked, “What shall I do?” and she replied, “Rise, carry him in your arms, cover him with a silk shawl, and follow me. If anybody sees us in the dark, we shall say, ‘This is our sick boy who took ill a short while ago, and since the doctor could not come to see him, we are taking him there.' If we do that . . .”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and amusing story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if I stay alive!”

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The following night Shahrazad said:

It is related, O King, that the tailor carried the hunchback in his arms, covered him with a silk shawl, and followed his wife, who led the way, wailing and saying, “O my boy, may you recover from your illness. Where has this smallpox been lying in wait for us?” so that whoever saw them said, “These two have a child stricken with the smallpox,” until someone directed them to the house of a Jewish physician. When the wife knocked at the door, a maid came down, and when she opened the door, she saw a man carrying a sick child. The wife handed her a quarter-dinar and said, “Miss, give this to your master, and let him come down to see my child, who is gravely ill.” As soon as the maid went upstairs, the wife went in, saying to her husband, “Let us leave the hunchback here and run.” The tailor propped up the hunchback, leaving him standing in the middle of the Jew's staircase, and went away with his wife.

Meanwhile the maid went to the Jew and said to him, “Master, there are people downstairs, carrying a sick child, and they have sent you this quarter-dinar to go down to see him and prescribe for him.” When the Jew saw the quarter-dinar as a fee for merely going downstairs, he was pleased and in his joy rose hastily in the dark, saying to the maid, “Bring me light,” and descended hurriedly in the dark. But hardly had he taken a step when he stumbled on the hunchback, who fell and rolled to the bottom of the stairs. The Jew was startled and shouted to the maid, “Hurry with the light.” When she brought it, he went down and, finding the hunchback dead, said, “O Esdras, O Moses, O Aaron, O Joshua son of Nun! It seems that I have stumbled against this sick fellow, and he has fallen downstairs and died. By the hoof of Esdras's ass, how shall I get this dead body out of my house?” Then he carried the body upstairs, and when he told his wife about it, she said to him, “Why do you sit still? If the day breaks and he is still here, we will both lose our lives. You are naive and careless.” Then she recited the following verses:

You thought well of the days, when they were good,

Oblivious to the ills life brings to one.

You were deluded by the peaceful nights,

Yet in the peace of night does sorrow stun.

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said, “Sister, what a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”

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The following night Shahrazad said:

I heard, O King, that the Jew's wife said to him, “Why do you sit still? Rise at once and let us carry the body to the roof and throw it into the house of our neighbor, the Muslim bachelor.” It happened that the Jew's neighbor was the steward of the king's kitchen, who used to bring home a great deal of cooking butter, which, together with everything else he brought, was eaten by the cats and mice, which caused considerable loss. The Jew and his wife took the hunchback up to the roof, carried him little by little to the steward's house and, holding him by the hands and feet, lowered him until he reached the ground. Then they propped him up against the wall and went away.

No sooner had they descended from the roof than the steward, who had been at a recitation of the Quran, came home in the middle of the night, carrying a lighted candle. He opened the door, and when he entered his house, he found a man standing in the corner, under the ventilator, and said, “By God, this is a fine thing! My food has been stolen by none other than a man. You kept taking the meat and the fat sheep tails and scooping out the cooking butter, and I kept blaming the cats and dogs and mice. I have killed many cats and dogs and have sinned against them, while you have been coming down the windshaft to steal my provisions, but now, by God, I will avenge myself on you with my own hands.” Then he took a heavy club and with one leap stood before the hunchback and gave him a heavy blow on the rib cage, and as the hunchback fell, he gave him another blow on the back. Then looking at his face and seeing that he was dead, he cried out, saying, “Alas! I have killed him. There is no power and no strength, save in God, the Almighty, the Magnificent.” Then he turned pale with fear for himself, saying, “May God curse the cooking butter and curse this night! To God we belong and to Him we return.”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”

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The following night Shahrazad said:

It is related, O happy King, that when the steward saw that the man was a hunchback, he said, “O hunchback, O cursed man! Wasn't it enough for you to be a hunchback, but you had to turn thief too? What shall I do? O Protector, protect me!” Then as it was getting toward the end of the night, he carried the hunchback on his back and went out with him until he reached the entrance of the market, where he set him on his feet against a shop, at the corner of a dark alley, and went away.

Soon there came a prominent Christian tradesman, who had a workshop and was the king's broker. He was drunk, and in his drunkenness he had left home, heading for the bath, thinking that morning prayers were near. He came staggering along until he drew near the hunchback and squatted in front of him to urinate and, happening to look around, suddenly saw a man standing before him. It so happened that early that night, someone had snatched off the Christian's turban, so that when he saw the hunchback standing before him, he thought that he too was going to snatch off his turban. He clenched his fist and boxed the hunchback on the neck, knocking him down. Then crying out for the watchman, he fell in his drunkenness on the hunchback, pummeling him and choking him. When the watchman came up to the lamppost and saw a Christian kneeling on a Muslim and beating him, he asked, “What is the matter?” The Christian replied, “This man tried to snatch off my turban.” The watchman said, “Get up from him,” and when the Christian got up, the watchman drew close to the hunchback and, finding that he was dead, said, “By God, this is a fine thing, a Christian killing a Muslim!” Then he seized the Christian broker, bound him, and brought him in the night to the house of the chief of the police. The Christian was bewildered, wondering how he could have killed the fellow so quickly with one blow of the fist, as “drunkenness left him and reflection returned.” Then he and the hunchback passed the night in the chief's house.

In the morning, the chief went up to the king and informed him that his Christian broker had killed a Muslim. The king ordered that the broker be hanged, and the chief went down and bade the executioner proclaim the sentence. Then the hangman set up a gallows, under which he made the Christian stand, put the rope around his neck and was about to hang him, when the steward of the king's kitchen made his way through the crowd and said to the executioner, “Stop! This man did not kill the fellow; I am the one who killed him.” The chief asked, “What did you say?” The steward replied, “I am the one who killed him.” Then he related to him his story, how he hit the hunchback with the club and how he carried him and propped him up in the market, adding, “Is it not enough for me to have killed a Muslim, without burdening my conscience with the death of a Christian too? On my own confession, hang no one but me.”

But morning overtook Shahrazad, and she lapsed into silence. Then Dinarzad said to her sister, “What a strange and entertaining story!” Shahrazad replied, “What is this compared with what I shall tell you tomorrow night if the king spares me and lets me live!”