Authors: John Strauchs
It was over. Jenny opened her eyes as Jared released her hand. She was back in
bed. She looked down. Her pretty dress was gone.
“It wasn’t enough time, Jared,” said Jenny.
“Look at the clock,” said Jared.
She glanced at the large red numbers on the clock next to the bed.
It was one in
the morning.
“The clock didn’t change. I was with Mormor for several hours. The time didn’t
change.”
“Time is relative,” said Jared.
“I didn’t want to leave,” said Jenny.
“You can visit again. We need to get some sleep,” said Jared.
Jenny resigned herself to being back. Jared crawled down beside her and reached
around to cup her breast with his left hand.
They often slept like that, like spoons in a
drawer.
It was comforting.
The closeness was nice.
Her mind whirled with what had
just happened. Seeing and speaking with Mormor was the most wonderful thing that had
ever happened to her.
Her fingers felt sticky. She licked at the tips of her fingers. It tasted like lingonberry sauce. Or, was it just her memory of how lingonberries tasted. It was so confusing.
She fell asleep and dreamed about Mormor again.
Jenny woke.
Jared’s side of the bed was empty.
She looked at the clock. It was
her own travel alarm in as much as Jared didn’t like clocks that much. It was eleven. She
had overslept many hours. She couldn’t remember if she set the alarm before she went to
bed. Jared might have turned the alarm off after she set it. He had done that before.
She went into the bathroom and showered.
She brushed her teeth, combed her
hair, and dressed. She couldn’t smell coffee.
She had slept so late that breakfast was
probably long gone.
She walked downstairs and heard voices.
Jared was talking with
Ginger. This might be her chance to learn Jared’s secret about Ginger and what she really looked like.
How mad would he get is she barged into his study before he had a
chance to shut off the video?
He was unpredictable.
She decided to eavesdrop for a
while. Maybe she would learn something from that?
Ginger.
“Yes, DNA seems to suggest they did,” said Jared.
“They cohabitated the same
areas.
It isn’t conceivable that a member of one group didn’t attempt to mate with a
member of the other group.”
“There is no doubt that they exchanged DNA,” said Ginger.
“Didn’t you read the paper written by Bruce Lahn of the University of Chicago?
His study of the microcephalin gene suggests that the mutated allele may have contributed to the rapid evolution of the hominid species, such as for brain growth.
More importantly, I think, this gene does not ever appear in Australia where we know that Neanderthal never appeared. I don’t understand how you can dismiss that, Ginger.”
“I think you are drawing too many unsupported conclusions from that work.
I
suggest you reread the journal reports by Edward Rubin of Lawrence Berkeley National
Laboratory,” said Ginger.
Jenny was feeling guilty about skulking in the hallway.
It wasn’t fair to Jared. It
was a betrayal of trust.
“Jared, I’m sorry I overslept. May I come in?” asked Jenny.
“Of course,” said Jared.
She walked into the den.
The video was gone.
Only the audio was on. She felt
like an outsider again. She wasn’t invited inside their circle. Would she ever be?
“Good morning, Jenny. I hope you slept well,” said Ginger.
“Thank you, Ginger.
I guess you don’t sleep, do you,” said Jenny. “Is there any
coffee left Jared?”
“No.
There wouldn’t be.
You know that I don’t keep coffee longer than seven
minutes,” said Jared.
“Oh yea. I forgot.”
“Jenny, may I give you a suggestion? If you wouldn’t mind,” asked Ginger.
“Sure. What is it?”
“I’ve been monitoring your periods.
You are highly susceptible to impregnation
by Jared over the next 18 hours. I have no means of measuring your basal body temperature, but I noted that you experienced Mittelschmerz this morning.
In that you took no
steps for prophylaxis last night, I recommend that you and Jared practice coitus interruptus the next time you desire to have sexual intercourse,” said Ginger.
Jenny glanced at Jared. She didn’t understand any of that. He just shrugged.
“Thank you Ginger. We’ll keep that in mind,” said Jenny.
“You are most welcome,” said Ginger.
That took a lot of gall
,” thought Jenny. Did Ginger eavesdrop on all of their intimate conversations? Was Ginger there each time she and Jared made love? She was just
a computer program but this was creepy.
And then she thought about the conversation
that Jared and Ginger were having before she walked in.
Why didn’t Jared have these
kinds of debates with her? She was smart and she read a lot. Jared didn’t have intellectual debates with her.
It was so different when she and Jared talked about science, religion, or what have you. He was the master and she was the student. It was always the
same. It was never as equals. Jenny resented Ginger. Maybe she was even jealous.
There had been an early morning thunderstorm.
It was a deluge but it ended as
abruptly as it started. The sun was out again but it was still very windy and the temperature had dropped noticeably. Jared stepped out on the balcony and climbed over the railing to the flattop roof. It was his favorite spot for relaxing. A small aluminum lawn chair
was perched near the edge, close to the dormer.
The chair’s speckled blue plastic fabric
was faded and frayed from use.
He lit up a Romeo and Juliet and pulled his coffee cup
closer to the chair where it was easy to reach.
Jared leaned back and stretched out his legs. This was a quiet spot where neither
Jenny nor Marie would find him easily. You have to go out on the balcony and lien out to
see him.
The air was swirling.
The cigar smoke wafted in imperfect rings until it was
caught by a gust and flowed and mingled with the dense branches of the hemlock. Each
year the hemlock crept closer to the house and now was well beyond the roof line.
Jared listened. He could no longer hear the distant squall. It was miles away. He
listened more intently. The sun was out but it was still raining. That was curious. The rain
drenched leaves of the great oaks and birches glistened in the sun, but the sky was clear.
He looked closely and saw that the smaller rain drops rolled off of leaves and fell on the
leaves below and joined other drops, becoming too heavy for the leaves to hold them.
The larger drops cascaded from one leaf to the next. The storm was long gone but it
sounded like it was still raining.
The sky was a deep clear blue and the late morning sun was blazing. The air was
still. Yet, it continued to rain in the forest. Jared listened and he could hear thousands of
rain drops falling.
The echoes of the great storm lingered. Jared drew on his cigar and
closed his eyes. He kicked off his sandals, pulled off his T-shirt, and threw them on the
balcony. He walked to the edge and let himself down, soundlessly dropping to the
ground. It was a long drop. He started to run. First it was a trot, then a fast run, and finally an all out sprint.
He moved like the wind.
The soft forest rain continued as he ran
through the trees.
Jenny walked quickly up the rocky path to the house.
She wore a scarlet MIT
wind breaker, white cotton blouse, jeans, and Teva sandals. She pulled the jacket tighter
to keep the wind out.
Jared gave her the sandals last weekend.
She loved them. Jared
hated the windbreaker. He never said so, but she knew it. The large white letters against
the solid scarlet background annoyed him. She wore it just the same. It is the only light
jacket she had.
“Why aren’t there periods after the letters,” he once said.
It wasn’t a question—
not really. It was dumbing down to sell stuff. It was stupid. He didn’t tolerate stupidity.
This time she wore a sports bra.
Jogging in the morning right before breakfast
had become something of a tradition for them. He was so fast that even when he slowed
down, it was tough to keep up with him.
This time she wanted to be comfortable. She
hadn’t been with him since last Sunday.
It was only six days but she missed him.
He
hadn’t returned any of her phone calls and his cell was off.
“
That isn’t unusual
,” she reminded herself. “
It is thoughtless, but not unusual.
”
Jenny patted her left side pocket. The Trojan was there. She didn’t forget it. She
had no idea what Jared thought about children.
Did he want children?
How would he
react if she got pregnant? She honestly didn’t know. It was something to talk about.
“
Maybe during dinner?
” She put a mental Post-It
®
in a special place in her mind
where she stored such thoughts. It was getting full, but this was important. She wanted
children.
More importantly, she wanted Jared to be their father.
What an incredible father he would be. But suppose he didn’t want children. She could imagine that too. She
zipped the jacket to her chin.
It hadn’t rained on the mainland, but it must have rained on the island. The path
was still damp. Leaves littered the trail.
She walked a little flat-footed so she wouldn’t
get mud on her new sandals.
Jared liked things to be neat and orderly.
He didn’t like
mud. She paused and wiped her sandals in the thick grass before she ran up the steps to
the porch.
She slipped off her sandals, placed them neatly next to the door and walked
into the house. She kept her jacket on. It was just a little cool.
She could never surprise him. Somehow he always knew when she was coming.
She yelled out for Jared. He wasn’t in the house.
If he had been in the house, he would
have been waiting for her. She ran up the steps, through the bedroom and out on the balcony. He wasn’t there.
She sat in the high white wicker chair.
His sandals were askew
on the deck.
“
He must be running
,” she thought. She waited and she watched.
There was a
small hill on the south end of the island. It was full of massive moraine boulders dropped
by the glacier that carved out the inlet. Most of the island was heavily wooded but it was
barren up the south hill. It wasn’t long before she spotted a figure running up the path
along the hill side.
Jared was running.
She could track his red shorts as the figure moved through the trees.
He was running at full speed. He was running so fast. It always
amazed her. He hadn’t waited for her even though she was sure he knew she was on the
island. This was not good. It was not good at all. He was outrunning his demons again.
Jenny closed her eyes. Her heart sank. She loved him so much. She felt his pain
when he was like this. Still, it was difficult for her to bear the depression times. His depressions were contagious.
It was like a virus.
His mood swings would drag her down
with him and there was nothing she could do about it. She didn’t know how to help him.
She had promised herself that she would comfort him through the bad times, but he often
said hurtful things to her when he was like this. She knew he didn’t really mean what he
said but it still hurt. He could be very cruel. Later, he would be sorry and so loving. She
always forgave him even if he didn’t ask for it.
The porch ran the length of the house.
The screen door burst open banging
against the frame. Marie exploded through the door and scurried toward Jenny. She had
a hot cup of coffee in her hand and a red and white gingham dish towel bundle under her
arm.
“Coffee!” It was an order, not an offering
“Thank you Mrs. Bird. I can sure use that.”
“Mr. Jared running. Be back soon.”
“Yes, I saw him.”
Jenny always thought how odd it was that Marie called him
Mr. Jared. Using the Christian name with a title was common in the Middle East and in
some other parts of the world for that matter, but not in French Canada and certainly not
in Maine. She wondered if Marie had traveled a lot when she was younger. Then again,
maybe it was nothing more than avoiding Jared’s difficult last name. Mr. Jared was so
much easier on the tongue.
“Yes, thank you Mrs. Bird.”
Jenny thought that Marie disliked her and she tried as hard as she could to change
that. Perhaps her manner was the same for everyone. It was difficult to know.
“Here!” said Marie.
She unrolled the dish towel bundle and Jenny’s sandals
flopped to the deck. They had been cleaned.
“Thank you so much. That was very thoughtful.” She slipped on the sandals.
Her cell phone began to chime
Wolf and Dolphin
from an album by Jewel. Krissy
downloaded it for her. Jenny was embarrassed by it but could never remember to change
the ring tone. Maybe that was Freudian too. Jared didn’t like quirky ring tones.
“Excuse me,” said Jenny. She was relieved to have a reason to break away from
Marie. She turned her body away from Marie and flipped on the phone.
Marie turned on her heels and burst back into the house. Jenny thought about Marie for a time. She never referred to Jenny by name. Not her Christian name and not her
surname. She never even used a pronoun. She deserved at least a pronoun. Marie always
appeared to be intense and high strung. Again, was it because she had no respect for her
or was it simply her way? Did she resent her? There was no knowing.
“Hey, Krissy. What’s up?”
“Jenn, I need to talk to you.”
“Talk!”
“Like sure! This is sister stuff. I don’t want brain man in on this. When can I see
you?”
“I’ll be back in Cambridge Monday. That soon enough?”
“Yea, that’s OK.
This is really, really important. Bye.” She was gone.
Jenny
wanted to ask more questions, but Krissy wasn’t going to talk. Just as well.
“
It had to be Jake the Snake
,” thought Jenny. “
Maybe it’s money again
.” Jake lost
last semester’s tuition betting basketball games and his father cut him off for the duration.
“
If that’s it again, she isn’t getting any more. Enough is enough
.”
Jenny wasn’t focused now but she suddenly caught Jared coming out of the
woods in the corner of her eye. It lifted her spirits.
She bent over the railing to follow
him. Being with Jared made her feel good even when he was in one of his rotten moods.
It didn’t make sense but love never does.
He was barefoot and wore nothing more than
those little red shorts.
His skin glistened but he rarely broke a sweat. He was never out
of breath. His maleness was exciting. She unconsciously felt for the package in her side
pocket.
She waited a few tactical minutes and then walked down to the kitchen. Jared had
the door to the frig open and was drinking out of the milk carton. That was a nasty habit.
He had a milk mustache that he wiped off with the back of his hand.
“Ms. MIT, I’m so glad you came…I was waiting for you,” said Jared.
She ignored the jibe.
“So why didn’t you return any of my calls?” asked Jenny.
“I had a bad week. A really bad week! And I just got back from an overseas trip.
No excuses. I’m really sorry,” he said.
“And why didn’t you wait for me? We were going to run together,” she said.
“And when are you going to learn punctuality?” asked Jared.
“Now you’re being mean. If you are in another blue funk, just warn me.
You
know that….”
She stopped in mid-sentence as Marie walked in.
Marie never looked at
Jenny. She went straight for Jared.
“Mr. Jared, you teach dat Ginger manners or I for sure quit.”
“Marie, I am so sorry. I will make sure she keeps her clothes on,” said Jared.
“I don’t care bout dat.
I don’t stand for dat kind of language.
Where she learn
dat? Not from Marie for sure.”
Then she broke into French and the two of them began to argue.
Neither raised
their voice but it was clear it was becoming heated.
Jenny talked to Ginger often in the
past few months but still hadn’t seen her. Ginger could be irritating and maybe sarcastic
at times, but she never used bad language.
What was all of this about?
Clothes?
She
takes her clothes off? What is that all about?
“
Bon
” Marie stormed out.
“OK, explain this,” asked Jenny.
“What?”
“Is that why you won’t let me see Ginger? She’s naked?” asked Jenny.
“I wrote a program for Ginger to give her free will---actually it’s more like randomization…not too different how flesh and blood people exercise free will. It is mostly
a myth you know. People are influenced in making decisions by the programming they
have received over a life time.
Ginger doesn’t wear clothes some times. Big deal! And
recently she learned how to curse. Big deal!” said Jared.
“That is BS and you know it.
She is a computer program and she can’t do anything that you didn’t want her to do.”
“Well, it did start out as some harmless….fun…sort of.”
“Can I see her? I’ve never seen her.”
“Sure,” said Jared. Jenny was surprised by the abruptness of the answer.
“When?”
“Later,” he said.
“
Yea, sure
,” thought Jenny. “
He has a little porn toy and I’m not supposed to see
it. It was obvious that Marie can see Ginger
.
Why wasn’t she allowed to see her too? “
“So exactly what is Marie fuming about?” asked Jenny.
“She said that Ginger used sacrilegious language. Marie is very religious.”
“What was the bad language?” asked Jenny.”
“Marie didn’t say because she wouldn’t repeat it,” said Jared.
“I had no idea that Ginger could do that. What prompted it?” she asked.
“Marie always shuts things down manually when she comes in to clean. Ginger is
supposed to do that, but Marie ignores her.”
“Wow! Cat fight with a computer program,” she said.
“I don’t know why this would be interesting to you.
Just stay out of it,” said
Jared.
That was hurtful--again. And again, it made Jenny feel like an outsider. She saw
herself as an insider.
She was Jared’s girlfriend. They were sleeping together. Doesn’t
that make her an insider?
She said nothing, however. Jared was very protective of Ginger. She wasn’t sure why, but it bothered her. Was she actually becoming jealous about a
digital woman?
Jared sensed what just happened. He didn’t mean it the way it sounded but at the
same time watching every word he uttered was becoming tiresome. He sloughed it off.
Jenny wanted to stop talking about Marie and Ginger. She thought of a cute way
to break the ice jam.
“Look what I found,” said Jenny as she pulled the condom out of her pocket.
“Is that the only reason you came here?” asked Jared.
That cut deeply. It shocked her. She couldn’t get any words out.
Jared stepped very close and put his hand inside her pants.
“How’s this?” asked Jared.
Tears filled her eyes, but she didn’t move.
He wasn’t rough.
She endured it in
silence.
She couldn’t understand what she did to deserve this kind of degrading treatment.
She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.
When he was
done she picked up her jacket and walked out of the room and left the island. He hadn’t
done anything that they hadn’t sometimes did during love making and he hadn’t hurt her,
but the reason he did it broke her heart. When she finally got to a place where no one
could see or hear her, she broke down and sobbed. She cried for hours.