The Art of the Pimp: One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money (46 page)

Dennis is high when he is having sex — preferably with very young girls who look the way he likes. His other preference is “centerfolds” and porn stars. For example, Sunset Thomas and Sunny Lane. He has mounted the world’s most experienced sex experts, he brags.

He talks of sex as if it is a great skill. He teaches it, sells it, and provides it — yet, how can something that nearly everyone does be so complex? Is it truly a mysterious activity with secrets known by only a few? Sex is like lunch — from fast food to a sumptuous banquet, there are various flavors for varied palates. Dennis would not
want to hear that. He fancies himself a special lover with special needs, not a sex addict who does not value women. He disliked his mother and he no longer has a relationship with his two daughters. Who does that? If they are sweet, caring, and have monetary value, he pays attention.

DOES DENNIS NEED THERAPY

As Dennis was leaving my office, he was visibly shaken. He asked me if I thought he could ever be a good husband. He was tearful and troubled. This celebrity who has everything he wants cannot sustain the one thing he wants: a woman to care for him. He is of so little value in his own mind that he does not take care of himself. Seriously diabetic, he weighs close to 260 pounds and eats everything a diabetic should avoid. He is not physically fit. I sensed that beneath his ebullient presentation, there was a deep sense of lifelong loss. It came to the surface quickly.

He showed me a photograph of himself at his ranch. A lonely man, alone on his couch with his ever-faithful dog, Domino, on his chest. He is watching the wild horses coming down from the mountains. Clearly, Dennis is yearning for what he will never allow — someone to sit beside him.

Dennis says that it is a myth that people change. “They spend thousands of dollars on therapy, trying to address their issues, but I know few people who have ever made any significant changes.” I respect his opinion, but I know many people who have changed, including myself, and they (and I) needed help to do so. I believe Dennis would do well in therapy and, yes, change significantly. There is so much he does not understand about himself, and no one can choose to change anything they do not understand.

Named one of New York’s most popular psychotherapists by the NEW YORK TIMES, Sheenah Hankin, PhD is a co-developer of Cognitive Appraisal Therapy, author of COMPLETE CONFIDENCE and co-author of SUCCEEDING WITH DIFFICULT CLIENTS.