“Huh.” He clutched her hand at his side. “Actually, I think it was my partner. No, I’m sure it was my partner.”
Tonya rocked her head enough to smile at him. “Perhaps.” She sat up and left the bed, gathering a robe to slip on. Harrison was sprawled on the bed, and she felt a pang of regret that they couldn’t stay there all day.
“It’s time for me to go, isn’t it?” He was watching her with a somber look on his face.
Tonya simply nodded, afraid to say anything. She wanted him to stay. He was the end of a tradition she’d spent half her life continuing, and she didn’t know how her life was going to change when he walked out the door. Yesterday, he had been the one walking into the unknown; today she was.
Sitting up, he swung his legs to the side of the bed, and sat there for a bit, head down. “Are we supposed to feel this emotional when we’re done?” His voice was soft, making her strain to hear, and he looked up for her answer.
In spite of what she knew needed to happen, her heart melted. “Some of the men do, and it’s natural. Sometimes the baby duck imprints.” She forced a smile to her lips. “But they always move on.”
Padding into the parlor, she retrieved his clothes from the chair and then placed them on the bed beside him. “I’ve enjoyed my time with you, Harrison.”
The Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. Reaching for his clothes, he shrugged into his shirt, and then stood to slide the boxers and khakis up his legs. He avoided her eyes now, and Tonya knew it was to keep his emotions and pride intact. She watched him dress and wished she could stop time.
His wire-framed glasses went on last, and she had a flash from last night, when he walked in the door, scared and embarrassed. Overnight, he’d changed. Even now, he moved easier, more secure in his body. She knew for a fact he would go out and find a woman that would love him, and she tried to be happy.
“Come on, I’ll walk you out.”
They stopped in the parlor long enough for him to get his shoes on, and then she led him through the house to the front door. But he rested a hand against the jamb, keeping her from opening it. Desperation darkened his eyes. “Can I see you again?”
Tonya shook her head, forcing tears back. “No. That’s not how it works.”
“Why not?” he demanded.
Shrugging helplessly, she waved her hand in the air. “Because it doesn’t. I’m here to get you started on your life, but not be a part of it. You need to go out and be a productive part of society, and find a wife who will partner you, and make a family with you.” She looked up at him sadly. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t be that for you.”
“I think I love you.”
Nothing in the world could have rocked her more. She gasped, and tears did flood her eyes. “Oh, Harrison.”
She turned away to look out the window, but everything was blurry. As much as she tried, she couldn’t force the tears away this time.
Nobody had ever told her ‘I love you’. When she dated, she made sure to always keep a distance from the men, because of the Society. Her mother had been the last person to tell her those words, years ago, just before she died.
And as much as it pained her, it was the strongest reason to tell him goodbye.
Wiping away the tears, she turned to face him. Then wavered. Earnestness shone in his eyes. He believed he loved her.
“As much as I appreciate the words, Harrison, it doesn’t change anything. We’re still wrong for each other. It would be wrong for me to take advantage of your emotions, and what you think you feel. I had fun with you last night, but it stops there.”
For a moment, he looked like he was going to argue, but he snapped his mouth shut. “There’s no way I can convince you, is there? You think I’m too young to know what I feel.”
Tonya forced her chin up. “Other young men have said the same thing,” she lied, “and they moved on. I’m saving us from the heartbreak later.”
He shook his head, and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I know what I feel, Tonya. And even if you don’t believe me now, I’m not going to change my mind.”
She sighed, and fiddled with the tie of the robe for a moment before turning to open the door.
“Harrison, I want you to go live life. Date girls, have sex, go to college, find a job. Do all the things a kid your age is supposed to do. And if you still feel the same way in three years, come find me.” She snapped her mouth shut, unable to believe what she’d said.
Harrison’s eyes blazed with satisfaction, and he leaned down to take her mouth in a knee-quaking kiss. In spite of the situation, her body responded. Grinning, knowing what he’d done to her, he stepped away, onto the porch. “I’ll do exactly what you said, Tonya. I’ll go do what you think I should do, but when I knock on your door in three years time, you had better open it.”
Then he jogged down the stairs to the street. With a final, lingering wave, he climbed into a tan car and drove away.
Tonya shut the door and leaned back against it, emotionally wrung dry. He wouldn’t be back. Her heart clenched, because she knew some woman would snatch him up before he even knew what was happening. The three year stipulation had been her way of making him think he could win her, but in reality, it was a delay until he could find the woman he was supposed to be with.
Not her.
Padding through the house, she headed to the shower to wash away her tears.
#####
This is where YOU, the reader, have a chance to decide the fate of Tonya and Harrison.
Below are two unedited excerpts. In excerpt A, they eventually get together, after much turmoil. In excerpt B, they both find love, just not with each other.
Visit my website at
www.jmmadden.com
to vote in the poll to decide what direction you want their lives to go in. There is also a ‘whatever you write will be wonderful’ option and a space where you can give a suggestion. Enjoy!
Excerpt A
Tonya stared down at the white plastic stick in her hand in disbelief. Joy and terror clashed inside her, and it was all she could do not to throw up everything she’d managed to force down for breakfast. How on earth had she finally managed to get pregnant? Doctors all over the state had told her it would be impossible without medical intervention.
The little window with the ‘yes’ inside it disputed that supposed ‘fact’.
Oh, sweet Lord in Heaven.
Knees giving way, she slid down the bathroom wall to her bottom, and forced deep breaths into her lungs. Fear rocked through her. Now that she knew she was pregnant, all the little signs made sense. The nausea, the tenderness in her breasts. All supposedly natural, right?
But what if she couldn’t keep the baby? If she had problems conceiving, wouldn’t it follow that she may have problems carrying it to term as well?
Her thoughts turned to Harrison. The eighteen year old she’d ‘awakened’. They hadn’t used birth-control because she was unable to conceive. He’d been a virgin, and hadn’t had a chance to catch anything communicable, so it had seemed like a waste of time to use condoms.
Would she have done things differently if she could go back? She rested a hand on her belly, and thought of all the dreams crushed by doctors. Hell, no.
Harrison would need to be told. Eventually. As scenarios flipped through her mind, she settled on one definite fact. She would not tell him right now. The three year stipulation stood. Eighteen was too young to be told you were going to be a father. If he decided to come back in three years time, she would decide then, but for right now, she would bask in the joy of being a mother for the first, and probably only, time in her life.
Excerpt B
Harrison jogged across the quad, back-pack dragging against his shoulders. He glanced at his watch to check the time, and noticed the tiny dial on the right. April 1
st
. He slowed to a walk, then stopped, uncaring that he was blocking foot traffic. In seventeen days, he would be twenty-one.
An image of Tonya flashed in his mind, standing at the door in that white silk robe. Three years, she said, and he could come back. It had almost been three years.
He dropped to a bench on the sidewalk, and swung his back-pack to his feet. Would she even remember him if he showed up on her door? Would she still be there? She’d wanted to travel. There was a significant chance she wouldn’t even be living in that old house with the walk-up porch.
“Excuse me. You’re sitting on my paper.”
Harrison jerked when he realized the voice was talking to him, and stood up abruptly. “I’m sorry.”
His words died in his throat as he turned to the speaker. She wasn’t anybody he’d ever seen before, because he’d have remembered her just for the color vivid of her hair, golden brown. Dark whiskey-colored eyes were squinted with humor, and her smile widened as he just stood there staring at her. Snap out of it Walker!
“Sorry. Had something on my mind and didn’t watch where I was…sitting.”
The girl shrugged. “You didn’t hurt anything. Not even a crease.” She held the paper up to show him, then motioned with it to the bench. “You can sit back down. Looked like you were thinking about something pretty heavy.”
Harrison nodded, and sat back beside her. The girl was cute, dressed in a casual pink top and a pair of blue jeans. She had an open British Lit book on her lap, and he snatched at the conversation piece.
“Do you have McPherson or Little?” he asked.
She looked startled for a moment, and glanced at the book. “McPherson. Any tips I should know?”
Harrison cleared his throat as she leaned closer to him. She smelled of vanilla and something sexy and spicy that made his dick sit up and take notice.
“Uh, he’s a dirty old man, so if the subject of sex comes up, he gets totally distracted from what he was doing. It’s pretty funny actually.”
“Really?” Her eyes twinkled. “I think there’s probably plenty of sex to talk about in British Lit, right?”
He nodded, and slicked his hands down his pants. “Yes. Some of the girls would deliberately wear these tiny little tops to class just to see him get flustered.”
The girl giggled, and held out her hand. “I’m Claire. Barnes. Just enrolled at GSU.”
“Harrison Walker, III.”
“Well, Harrison,” she murmured, holding his hand, “maybe you could come up to my room and show me what kind of outfit I should wear to class.”
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The Awakening Society 2 tentatively scheduled for release April 1, 2012.
About The Author
Terminally addicted to romances, thanks to finding her aunt’s stash of ‘Harlequin Presents’ during a sleepover, J.M. loves any and all good love stories. Most particularly her own. She has two beautiful children and a husband who always keeps her on her toes.
J.M. was a deputy sheriff in Ohio for nine years until hubby moved the clan to Kentucky. If she’s not chasing the family around, she’s at the computer trying to perfect her craft. She occasionally takes breaks to feed her animal horde, and is desperately trying to control her office supply addiction, but both tasks are uphill battles. She has several projects in the works, and loves to hear from readers.
Other Titles by J.M. Madden
Second Time Around
Wet Dream
Urban Moon Anthology
Texas Iron
To Connect with me online:
Twitter-@authorjmmadden
Facebook-J.M. Madden
If you liked The Awakening Society, you may want to check out author Donna McDonald, and her
Never Too Late
Series, starting with
Dating a Cougar
After deciding to end her sexual hiatus, 38 yr old retired Marine Casey Carter is looking good to 50 yr old lingerie model Alexa Granger. Granted, the age gap bothers her more than him, but a normal relationship is totally out of the question anyway because Casey is related to her daughter’s boyfriend. The last thing Alexa needs is another talk-show worthy drama in her already complicated life.