The Bachelor's Bed (4 page)

Except, she was unpredictable. She was also too…
happy,
a definite personality disorder in his book.

She tugged at his hand to get his attention, and just that small connection had a current of awareness shooting through him.

Oh, yeah, he was in big trouble in the hormone department.

“I thought we should practice,” she said. “You know…being a loving couple?”

Never mind that he'd thought so, too, before; it was no longer a good idea.

When he didn't say anything, she ran her teeth over her full bottom lip. “I don't know about you,” she said, “but it's not something that comes naturally to me.” She blushed. “I mean—”

“I know what you mean.” He had to let out a dry laugh. “It doesn't exactly come easy for me, either.” If she only knew he'd been there, done that and bought the T-shirt. But if he was ever stupid enough to marry again, and if his wife had the body of his pretend fiancée, he thought he just might attempt to learn how to be loving.

“I'm not that great an actress,” she admitted. “I think I'll need a couple of days.”

A couple of days would kill him. He had no idea if
he could keep his hands to himself that long. “I don't think—”

“Oh, but I do.” She smiled angelically. “We have to be convincing, Colin.”

“Yes.” His mother could detect trouble five hundred miles away.

“We should also put an announcement in the paper.”

Wait.
This was becoming far too…real. “Why?”

She looked at him with that kind smile, the one she seemed to reserve for when she was intent on getting her way. “You want people to stop bothering you. There's no way faster to do that than to put the engagement in print.”

“But…” But what? She was right, she was
always
right, he was beginning to suspect. And why was she so sweetly disagreeing with him on everything?
Dammit.
“Okay. Fine. An ad is fine.”

Lani dropped her gaze, looked around at the kitchen she'd seen a thousand times. Almost nervously, she glanced out into the hall and up the stairs.

She was wondering about the sleeping arrangements.

“Come on,” he said with another heartfelt sigh. “I'll show you where the spare bedrooms are. You can pick one.”

She looked relieved and disappointed at the same time.

He could understand.

 

L
ANI PICKED
the bedroom at the far end of the hallway from Colin's. Not because she found him offensive, but because she didn't trust herself.

Her natural, easy affection seemed to terrify him. He'd nearly leaped out of his skin when she'd hugged him hello. Just a simple hug, an affectionate hug, but he'd hated it.

He'd made sure not to come within five feet of her since then. And when they'd climbed the stairs, he'd shown her the bedrooms as far from his as he could get.

She didn't know what she had expected—that he would have suggested his own bed? That wasn't his style.

Still, she couldn't help but wish, as she followed his tall, lean, oh-so-watchable frame, that in this one aspect, their engagement was real.

He dropped her duffel bag on the bed that would be hers. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Did he mean it? She doubted it. He had that expression on his face, the one that assured her he'd rather be at the dentist having a tooth extracted. Without drugs.

Well he wasn't alone in that. She had so many reservations about this farce they were undertaking! She could tell herself she'd agreed to help because she believed in his project—and she did. But she knew the truth, that it was far more than that. And she was scared.

Colin West was driven and focused, and if she believed the rumors, he was cold and aloof as well.

But it wasn't true, she knew this with all her heart. No one with eyes so deep and heated could be cold. All year she'd been drawn to him on some deep, primal level and while she might not understand it, she couldn't ignore it. Any of a million things could have happened to make Colin the very private man he was, and she understood that better than most, because for all her bubbliness, she herself was incredibly private.

What she didn't get was the sudden need she had to please him, to be with him. To make him happy.

“I'll be fine,” she said quietly, and decided to face the music with a brave smile. “So what are we going to do to get to know each other?”

Given the way his eyes flared, she'd gotten his attention. In response, her insides heated and they both stared at each other like idiots.

It drew a laugh out of her, because they were both so obviously thinking about only one thing. She reached out and stroked his arm. “This is silly, you know. We're adults.”

He stared down at her hand on him. “Yeah, adults,” he agreed, those intense eyes of his heavy and shuttered.

Her inner warmth spread, pooling in areas she hadn't felt heat in for some time. “Maybe we'd better sleep on it tonight,” she suggested. “We'll think of
something. Like Twenty Questions, or another game.”

He blinked and looked as if he'd rather face a firing squad, which made her laugh. “This was
your
idea, you know,” she teased.

His mouth quirked, though he didn't actually smile. “I'm trying to remember that.”

From outside came a distant clap of thunder. Lani jerked, thrown by the harsh sound. “What's that?”

“A summer storm is moving in.” He glanced out the window. “We'll get some rain I hope. And some relief from the heat.”

Lani had an aversion to storms, one that went bone-deep. Goose bumps rose on her skin as the sky lit yet again. A twenty-year-old fear goaded her. In the guise of saying good-night, she wrapped her arms around Colin and hoped he'd hold her back.

He didn't.

“'Night,” she whispered, gripping him tightly as a crack of thunder hit.

Letting go of him was difficult, for he'd felt warm and strong and wonderful, but she could feel how rigidly he held himself. Trying not to take it personally, she backed off and plopped down on her bed, just managing not to flinch when lightning flashed again. When the following thunder boomed and the windows rattled, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

She really hated storms.

Colin hadn't breathed, not once since she'd touched him.

She swallowed her silly fear. “Colin?”

“'Night,” he muttered finally. And then he was gone.

T
HE STORM
came and raged, and Lani tried to be strong.

She dreamed, long haunting visions of things best forgotten. Her mother, warm and loving, smiling as she placed Lani's hand on her rounded belly, letting her daughter feel the little sibling just waiting for his or her time. Her father, laughing with delight as he twirled her around and around on their lawn.

In her sleep, Lani sighed and smiled.

And then came the images of their sightless faces after the car accident that had killed them both, twenty years before in a wild, unexpected summer storm.

Thunder rattled the windows. Lightning bolted. Lani lurched up, a scream on her lips, but it died, replaced by a gasp of shock at the shadow that sank to her bed.

“What is it?” came a deep voice.

Colin. He'd come. He was rumpled from sleep, hair tousled, eyes heavy. Chest bare.

Offering comfort.

And she needed it just then, oh, how she needed it.
Before she could speak into the dark, chilled room, he lifted a hand and touched her face gently.

It came away wet from her tears.

“Lani?” he murmured, bracketing her hips with his strong, corded arms as he leaned over her, his face close to hers as he tried to see her expression. “You okay?”

In answer, she slipped her arms around that warm, hard body and tugged, needing him close, swallowing her last lingering sob as he resisted.

Staring down into her eyes, he shook his head slowly. “You were dreaming.”

Thunder resounded again and unable to control her whimper, Lani squeezed her eyes shut and tried to disappear.

With a low, wordless sound of concern, Colin gave in and his wonderful arms gathered her close. “Just a storm,” he said quietly, stroking her hair as she curled into the warmth of his embrace. His rough jaw scraped lightly over her cheek. “It can't hurt you. You're safe here.”

She knew that, but her fear was irrational, as was her need for him.

The rain hit the roof with a drumming, driving force. Wind howled and shook the windows. The temperature had dropped, cooling the air. More thunder came, and lightning, too, but Lani, locked in the security of Colin's arms, sighed. His mere pres
ence soothed, drove back any lingering part of the nightmare.

It was all in the past, gone, and it could no longer hurt her. Colin was here in the present, bending over her, whispering words meant to ease and soothe, and they did. But his husky, still sleepy voice also aroused and, despite the storm beating against her windows, Lani reacted to that. She needed him and yearned to feel needed in return. Without conscious effort, her hips rocked to his.

Colin went utterly still.

She should be mortified, at least sorry, but she wasn't. His heat seeped into her chilled body. He was dressed only in soft, flannel pajama bottoms, slung low on his hips. Their bodies were connected from chest to legs and it was such an erotically shattering position that Lani did it again, that little uncontrollable movement with her hips.

“Lani.”

Just that, just her name, in a gruff, warning tone that wavered slightly with his own, very clear, need.

Her heart thundering, she pulled him closer, feeling that if he didn't kiss her, if he didn't put his hands on her and make love to her right then, she would die. “I want you, Colin,” she whispered, lifting her face to his.

His arms tightened around her.

“Please want me back.”

In the dark, he let out a groaning laugh as they
both felt the evidence of his own wanting. “This isn't how to assuage a bad dream,” he said.

“We're engaged.”

“For pretend.”

“It feels real enough right now, doesn't it?” She tucked her face into his warm, wonderful smelling neck and licked his skin.

He shuddered and groaned, and again his arms convulsed around her. “I've never felt anything more real,” he admitted.

A gust of wind battered the windows on the outside, while inside the tension came from the heat of their bodies. She winced at a flash of lightning.

“Lani—”

He was going to stop her, tell her why this wasn't a good idea and she didn't want him to. “We could start now,” she suggested quickly. “You know, getting to know each other.”

“What happened to the game of Twenty Questions you suggested earlier?”

“Okay—if you want a question, how's this?” She nuzzled his chest, seeking, then finding a small, hard nipple, which she kissed. “Do you like that?”

“Lani—”

Warm flesh, inflexible muscle—he felt so good, so indelibly male. His heart thundered beneath her cheek. Her insides clenched at the delightful contrasts of him and she lifted her hand, cupping his rough jaw, drawing a finger over his wide, sexy
mouth. Her other hand touched his hip to urge him closer still.

“Lani, this can't be real between us, you know that.”

“I don't know any such thing.”

“Look, you're no longer frightened,” he said a bit desperately. “I should—”

Her fingers slid over his lips softly, halting his words. “You make me feel safe. Comfortable.”

He closed his eyes and she brushed her lips lightly, so lightly, over his. “Please,” she whispered. “Don't go.” She felt at home in a way she hadn't felt in so long. Too long. She held no illusions about the man poised for flight above her. He was caught, locked in a battle between regret and arousal, but to her, it felt right. She had to convince him. “Colin.”

“I shouldn't have come in here,” he said finally. “You're scared and vulnerable.”

“Why
did
you come?”

His forehead furrowed as he searched her gaze. “You needed—”

“
You.
I needed you.”

“You were having a dream, anyone would have done—”

“Not anyone.
You.
”

“I can't believe that.”

This breathless, weightless, needy sensation was utterly new for her, but Colin wasn't in a place to believe that. She'd have to show him. Her nipples were
hard, with excitement not cold, and she arched up until her chest just barely touched his.

Colin sucked in a harsh breath. In the pale light, his eyes darkened. “Lani.”

“Touch me.”

She could hear his ragged breath, could feel his struggle for control. Rain slapped against the windows as he lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes. His face held a mixture of need and confusion. “It wasn't supposed to be like this,” he murmured. “It was supposed to be uncomplicated. Easy.”

“I know,” she murmured, sinking her fingers into his thick, silky hair. “I know.”

“It's going to make it harder.”

“Well, I
hope
so,” she whispered.

His lips curved then, and he set his forehead to hers. “I'm the one complicating this, aren't I?”

“Yep.” To prove it, she wriggled and squirmed until she was solidly beneath him. Slowly she drew up her legs and wrapped them around his hips.

At the unmistakable invitation, he groaned and dipped his head, touching his mouth to hers.

“Finally,” she whispered on a soft breath, which he promptly claimed as his own.

Finally
was right, was all Colin could think. He'd wanted a taste of her since she'd appeared at his door earlier this evening, though he would have continued to deny himself.

There would be complications, he knew, but as he
kissed the corners of her soft, giving mouth, then her lips, he knew whatever would happen could wait until this storm that raged both inside and out passed.

It wasn't going to pass quickly or quietly, that was certain, not with all the heat being generated between them. The soft covers plumped around them, cozy, enticing. The kiss deepened, hot and wet and unbearably arousing. Beneath him, Lani's sweet body writhed, and the heat devoured him.

Before Lani, he hadn't given enough thought or care to kissing, it had always seemed so intimate, and he'd shied away from anything remotely related to that.

He was beginning to see how wrong he'd been.

The only sounds in the room were the rustling bedcovers, the rain against the window. And then deepening silence as he slowly pulled back to gaze, shocked, into Lani's face.

The room went bright as day with a bolt of lightning, followed by a boom that rattled the entire house.

Lani jerked.

“It's okay. It's getting farther and farther away.”

“I know.” But she swallowed hard. “I'm not afraid anymore.”

Those huge eyes of hers were full of secrets that he didn't know. He didn't want to know, or so he told himself.

She took his hand in hers and placed it over her racing heart. His long fingers skimmed over warm, giving flesh and curves, and he groaned. He liked the helplessly aroused sounds escaping her throat, the way she'd plastered her delectable body to his. He liked—

He liked
her.

And no amount of distancing himself was going to change that.

“Colin—” She tried to wrap him closer.

He was losing himself in her, unable to remember why this shouldn't happen.

“Now,” she whispered in a voice that told him exactly how much she needed him.

In response, he found himself raining open-mouthed kisses down her slim neck, over her collarbone, nudging her plain white T-shirt up as he went until he got to…ah, a ripe, warm curve, just begging for his touch.

She gasped. “More. Hurry.”

“I'm exploring,” he muttered around her heated, sweet flesh. “Don't rush me.”

Her arms slipped from around his neck, down the taut muscles of his back. Unable to keep still, he undulated his hips, thrusting against the soft core of her, caught up in a rhythm as old as time.

And suddenly, he wanted to hurry every bit as much as she did.

Lani gave him everything, her lips, her tongue, her
passion. He'd expected an awkwardness, that first-time ineptitude. Bumping noses, grinding teeth, but with Lani, there was none of that, nothing except for a horrifying feeling that this was exactly as it was supposed to be.

He'd had women before, even women he knew less well than he knew Lani, but never had he felt as though he'd been given so much. It made him want to give in return, as her hunger fueled and fed his own. Both tenderness and savagery tore through him, equally mixed. He should have known it would be this way with her.

He kissed her again. His hands danced over her body. Her legs were bare. Beneath his fingers, her body quivered.

“Colin…”

His name had never sounded so sexy before. Her eyes drifted closed, but they flew open again, dazed and unseeing, when his hands cupped her breasts.

“Colin!”

He thought maybe he could get used to the way she cried out his name, all throaty and full of yearning. In fact, he wanted to hear it again, so he held back, just palming her warm curves.

Her fingers clenched and unclenched on his chest, her head tossed on the pillow and, when his thumbs rasped over her tight, puckered nipples, she again gasped his name.

He smiled in satisfaction. “Is that what you wanted, Lani?”

She made some unintelligible sound that turned him on even more. This was like a project, he thought with hazy delight, only better, much better. He wanted to take her slowly apart and watch her explode, then help put her back together again.

“Lani?” He pulled her T-shirt all the way off, exposing her to his gaze. She was perfect, beyond perfect. He bent over her, his mouth hovering as he let his fingers tease. “Does this feel good?”

She squirmed beneath the torment. “Yes!” she gasped, reaching for him. “More. Please, more.”

“Like this?” He drew a taut, aching peak into his mouth, laving the very tip with his tongue, switching sides in tune to Lani's soft, seductive moan. “And this?” he wondered. “Are you sure—” his tongue swirled over her, then he sucked strongly “—this is what you wanted?”

Her hips were rocking against his and he knew she was nearly mindless. He didn't know what had come over him to tease her like this, he himself was dying, hot, and so unbelievably hard. It had been so long for him, and he'd thought all he wanted was to plunge into her and seek the oblivion that sex always provided. But he realized he wanted more. He wanted her to take that wild journey with him.

“Colin…”

His name again, in that breathless, sexy, hoarse, needy whisper. “I'm right here,” he promised.

She reached up to pull him to her.

“No, no stay like that,” he whispered. He didn't think he could take her touch, not yet, so he held her hands above her head for a moment until he knew she would keep them there. “Let me…Lani, let me…”

And he slid down, down her body, delivering hot kisses over every inch he passed until he was kneeling between her legs, gazing down at her gorgeous, straining body. In the pale glow of the night, her skin was creamy and lustrous. “You're…stunning,” he whispered thickly, unbelievably close to the edge and she hadn't even touched him. He was going to lose it, just staring at her.

He jerked when her fingers brushed against the taut skin low on his belly, and he gripped her hand in his. “No,” he whispered, knowing if she touched him again, it would be over in one second, maybe two. “Don't, Lani.” He held her immobile, staring deep into her hungry eyes. “Don't move.”