The Back Road (20 page)

Read The Back Road Online

Authors: Rachel Abbott

The image faded, and Leo realised that her face was wet with fat teardrops.
Pathetic
. She sat up and brushed the tears away. Maybe she should focus on the years between then and when she left home. That would
really
give her something to cry about.

She grabbed her laptop and pulled it towards her. What
did
she know about him? She’d kept a note of every bit of information - which wasn’t much. She opened the file, and started to read.

Full Name : Edward William Harris

Date of Birth : 02/12/1943

Place of Birth : Stoke on Trent, England

Events :

1976 - Married Denise Swindon (4th March)

1978 - Daughter Eleanor born (29th September)

1980 - Married (bigamous) Sandra Collier (8th June)

1980 - Daughter Leonora Sandra (24th October)

1979 − 1995 - Director, Goodman Pottery Limited, Stoke on Trent

Last known address - Willow Farm, Little Melham, Cheshire.

Last seen - July 1995?

Conversation overheard (memory!!!) : womaniser, been rejected, ‘she’s gone now’, get out. Overheard some time in summer of the year he went missing.

2002 - Denise Harris (née Swindon) tells daughter Ellie that she had her husband declared dead after he had been missing for seven years.

It wasn’t much.

The crucial fact was that Ellie’s mother said she’d had him declared dead. She told Ellie that she made the declaration in 2002. Armed with these meagre facts, Leo had scoured the records for the year in question. She had searched one year either side too - just to be sure. But there was no death certificate for Edward William Harris within that period. Did that mean The Old Witch had been lying? It would come as no surprise to Leo, but it didn’t help either. Her father had disappeared without a trace.

The money had come from somewhere, though. He must either have given Ellie’s mother everything when he left, or she had acquired the lot after his death. Leo was no closer to understanding it all.

For a long time, she and Ellie had assumed their father had gone away on one of his usual trips. They often didn’t see him for days or even weeks at a time and Leo had paid scant attention, wearing her indifference like armour. She couldn’t remember exactly when they had realised that this time he wasn’t ever going to come back, but it was December when her father’s name was mentioned for the last time. He had already been gone for months, and Ellie had asked her mother if he was going to be back for Christmas.

‘I doubt it.’

That was all she had said. Not a word of comfort to a sobbing Ellie. But looking back on that day, Leo couldn’t help getting the impression that The Old Witch actually
knew
he wouldn’t be back. She must have known something. Ellie was forbidden to ask about him again, but she had never let it go. It was as if Ellie would never be whole until the secrets of the past were exposed.

Leo knew that this was getting her nowhere. She didn’t have any answers. She needed a distraction, so she opened a new window on her computer screen, and started to type.

A Single Step : the blog of Leo Harris

Living in the present

How easy it is to blame the present on the past, and allow history to shape the future. How many of us justify our current behaviour by reference to events long gone?

Is this true within your relationship? Are you allowing past mistakes to dictate your destiny?

If pain has been inflicted by a loved one, you may search for reasons and explanations that simply can’t be found. You pick away at the scar that is trying to heal, and cause the blood to flow again. You seek reassurances that you may never truly believe. The scar becomes ragged and ugly to all who can see it, and you become the walking wounded, waiting to be hurt again.

Accept that your history has changed you. Rejoice in your survival. Let the wounds heal to form a stronger, more resilient you, and remember that forgiveness is not something we do for other people - we do it for ourselves. So forgive
yourself
for being a victim.

Look positively to the here and now. Put the past behind you and think of it as somewhere you once visited, and possibly didn’t like very much.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha

27

In my dream I’m running. It’s dark, and I’m scared. No, it’s worse than that. I’m terrified. I can feel the pressure of fear on my chest and in my throat, but I don’t know what I’m scared of.

Then I hear it
.

‘Abbie, Abbie.’ It’s a loud, hoarse whisper, cutting through the still night. I can hear panic in the voice
.

Then I hear another voice saying my name.

‘You’re a retard, Abbie Campbell. I don’t know why I invited you.’

It’s not dark now. And the voice is nasty.

How did I get here?

I’m in town. I’m on my own, hiding round a corner. I’m waiting, and watching the burger place to see who arrives. I don’t want to be first. I don’t want to look like a saddo. But I don’t want to be last, because if they’re all there they’ll stare when I walk in. I shouldn’t be nervous - it’s only a party. Everybody else does this all the time, right?

I nearly said no - I didn’t want to come. But mum was pleased I’d been asked, so I pretended to be excited. I think Emily’s mum must have said I had to be invited, because I’m sure it wasn’t Emily’s idea.

Just wait until next term. Chloe will be here then, and Emily might think I’m weird, but Chloe doesn’t. She’s my best friend.

At last some of the others are arriving. Four of them. Perfect. I come out from my hiding place round the side of the post office and arrive at the door just as they go in. They turn and smile. These are the friendly ones - not the sneery ones that hang around Emily all the time.

It’s later now. We’ve all got our burgers, and Emily’s showing off, just like she always does. Some boys from year ten have come in, and Emily’s being loud and silly. One of the boys winks at me, and I smile back. I know him. His mum’s friends with mine - it’s not like we fancy each other or anything.

I need to go to the loo, but when I come out of the cubicle, they’re waiting for me. Emily and her crew.

They lay into me. Apparently it’s supposed to be Emily’s night, and I’m ruining it. It seems I smiled at the wrong boy. They call me a skank and a retard, and say I’m not welcome anymore.

I want to cry, but I’m not going to. I bite my lip and say nothing, but I can feel my face getting hotter and hotter. I grab my bag and push past them, out into the street.

Now what? I suppose I’d better call my mum, but I’m dreading it. She always looks guilty when I screw things up - as if she thinks it’s her fault that I’m a loser.

I grab my phone out of my bag. One thing I’m definitely going to do is to let the world know what Emily’s really like. I open Facebook. I tell everybody - well, a few people anyway - that Emily’s a pig and I’m going home.

I’m surprised to get a message straight back. I smile when I see it’s from Chloe. I wish she was here.

But that’s what she’s saying! They’ve moved in sooner than expected - and she’s here! Now!

She’s going to come with her mum to pick me up. I’ve got to wait round the back of the burger place and to look out for her mum’s car. And it’s a secret. I’m not to tell anyone.

I can’t wait to see her. And I won’t call mum. It’ll save her some grief.

I’m happy now. I’m going to see Chloe, and I’m so excited. All I have to do is wait for her and her mum. The other girls are leaving now - going to the cinema. Some of them can’t look at me, but I don’t care anymore.

I’ve got Chloe.

28

‘Go and get in the car, girls. Your mum’s car. I’m going to go to say goodbye and then we’ll be off. I’ll be back in a moment.’

Gary Bateman headed towards the house as his two daughters trudged despondently towards Penny’s car. He knew they didn’t want to go to his mother’s for a week, but he hadn’t got any choice, thanks to Penny. He could bloody kill her.

He walked through the open front door, glancing in the mirror as he went. Looking good, he thought, baring his ultra white teeth and thinking what a brilliant job the dentist had done. He was too good for Penny, that was for sure. He stomped up the stairs, calling his wife’s name.

‘Penny, I’m off.’ He opened the bedroom door, and couldn’t fail to hear the muffled sobs coming from the bed where Penny’s face was buried in a pillow.

‘Oh for Christ’s sake, woman, get a fucking grip will you. If you weren’t so pathetic, I wouldn’t have had to sort you out. Now I’ve got to take the girls to my mother’s so they don’t see your miserable face. Why do you have to be so moronic? Hmm?’

‘I didn’t
do
anything,’ Penny whined. God she irritated him when she used that tone of voice.

‘I didn’t
do
anything?’ he mimicked. ‘You only said that you were going to talk to sodding Leo Harris and tell her all about our lives. Are you surprised that I got mad? Huh? It’s not fucking rocket science, is it? Have you
read
the stuff she writes on her blog? Somebody needs to sort the silly bitch out, but there’s no way you’re talking to her. I hope you’ve got that.’

He advanced on the bed and grabbed a handful of Penny’s hair to drag her face out of the pillows. At the look of fear in her face, he gave a grunt of disgust, and abruptly let go.

‘You don’t tell her
anything
. Are you listening? Now stop snivelling, get yourself up and dressed, and I’ll see you later. I’m dropping the girls off and coming straight home for the Porsche. I’ve got to take it back today - it was supposed to be a three day loan, but I’ve already had it for four. Something else to worry about, as if I haven’t got enough.’

He stood looking down at his wife, clenched fists hanging at his side. He was sick of her, if truth be told. Three women in the house was at least two too many. Three, if the third one was Penny.

‘Remember what I said, Penny. If that bloody Leo comes spooking round… ‘

‘Hello? You there, Gary?’ The shout was coming from the hallway below. Bugger. He shouldn’t have left the front door open. He hoped he hadn’t been heard. He gave Penny a last furious glance, and headed out onto the landing, plastering a smile on his face.

‘Sean! What brings you here this morning? Got something for me, have you?’

Gary made his way downstairs to where Sean was standing.

‘Penny okay, is she? I saw the girls in the car, and they said she’s not been too good.’

Gary indicated that they should move outside to talk, out of Penny’s earshot.

‘She’s a bit under the weather. Women’s problems, you know how they get. Anyway, I’m taking the girls to my mother’s. Told them she’s got something infectious.’ Gary sneered. ‘You’d think it was terminal, they way they bloody go on, wouldn’t you. What about you?’

Sean’s expression was bleak for a few seconds, in complete contrast to his usual twinkling smile - the one the women in the village drooled over.

‘Ah, you know how it is. Life’s not great at home. If I had the money, I’d start again. Me and the kids, you know.’

‘I keep trying to convince Penny of that. Except in her case, she could keep the kids.’ Gary laughed. ‘Anyway, you can’t become single because part of your attraction to the female population of the village is the fact that you appear as some kind of hero in their eyes. You get the sympathy vote as well as points for the rugged charm, so I’m reliably informed.’

‘Penny say that, did she?’ Sean asked.


Penny?
You must be joking. Penny doesn’t recognise anybody’s charms but mine, buddy. I wish she would. Let me off the hook a bit, if you know what I mean.

Gary glanced around him, to make sure that nobody was around.

‘Anyway, enough of the idle chit chat - how are we doing with the deal? I could do with the cash, because then I might not have to take this baby back.’ He patted the Porsche on its bonnet. ‘With a bit of luck and a following wind, I’ll be buying one just like it in a month or two.’

‘The deal’s going to plan. The money’s been transferred to me, but it’s not cleared yet. Hopefully tomorrow. That’s what I came to tell you. I’ve spoken to the bank, and I can go in for the cash. I had to be interrogated for about an hour, mind you, before they agreed to release it. Anyway, I said I needed it for materials, and they were okay with that in the end. I’ll drop it round tomorrow, unless you want to meet somewhere else?’

Gary paused for a moment. It might be better to meet away from the house.

‘I’ll give you a call on that one. When’s it all going to be made public then? When’s your private investor going to make himself known?’

‘Saturday’s the plan. He was getting cold feet, but I worked on him and got things pushed through quickly. He’s around all week, though, so he can sign the papers and stuff on Friday or Saturday and then we’re off. Technically the money’s not ours until the paperwork’s complete, but there’s only a day or two in it, so as long as you don’t spend it we should be fine.’

Gary leaned back against the car with his feet crossed and his arms folded.

‘I’m not that stupid, Sean. Penny might be too dense to notice if I bought some nice gear, but good stuff stands out a mile. It’s going in my escape fund, if you know what I mean.’

Gary stood up and glanced over at the girls.

‘I’d better be going, I suppose. They’ve been sat there a while, and they were po-faced enough about going to my mother’s as it was.’

The two men walked down the drive together.

‘When I arrived, I thought I heard you talking about Leo,’ Sean said. ‘It’s the first time I’ve met her. What do you make of her?’

‘Well, I don’t have much time for the life coach crap. I’ve told Penny to steer clear. But Leo? Well I’d certainly give her one - if only to see that aloof, snotty look wiped off her face. What about you? You’re the village stud after all.’

Sean laughed.

‘I don’t think I’d better comment on that. She’s not much like Ellie, though, is she?’

‘Ah Ellie. Now there’s a special case. Sees the best in everybody, that woman. Did you see how long she spent talking to that tit Charles the other night? God, I could hardly bear the suspense when he opened his mouth to speak, wondering what pearls of wisdom he was going to bestow on us. But Ellie looked enthralled. That’s the sort of person she is. Anyway, enough of lusting after other women. I’d better go. Talk to you tomorrow, Sean.’

Gary raised his hand to Sean as he walked towards Penny’s car, thoughts of women and the idiotic games they insisted on playing running through his head.

But he could handle Penny. She wasn’t the problem - it was the other one. He was tired of waiting. He was being played, and he didn’t like it. Not one little bit.

* * *

Nobody could miss the elegant and flamboyant figure of Fiona Atkinson as she walked up the High Street. Leo had decided that as the sun was less fierce today they could risk eating outside, and she could see Fiona was attracting a fair few stares as she headed towards the wine bar. Dressed in a simple but beautifully cut raspberry red shift dress that on its own would have been enough to draw attention, she had topped this off with a large black straw sunhat and a huge pair of sunglasses. She looked as if she should have been lunching in Paris rather than Little Melham.

‘Am I late, Leo?’ Fiona asked. ‘I decided to have a massage after my session at the gym this morning, and I think we got carried away with the time.’

Leo smiled. Despite Ellie thinking that she was at daggers drawn with Fiona, she actually found her quite amusing, and enjoyed the fact that they could vaguely insult each other without either taking the least offence. She didn’t remember much about Fiona from school - only that she was a bit scruffy, and although she’d been Ellie’s friend, friends were never welcome at Willow Farm. Since Fiona had moved back to the village, Leo had met her several times at Ellie’s old house, and she found her assumed airs and graces mildly entertaining.

While she’d been waiting, Leo had ordered herself a glass of wine, which arrived as Fiona sat down.

‘Sorry about this, Fiona. I didn’t know how long you’d be. Shall I get a bottle now, or would you like a glass of something different?’ Leo asked.

‘Just a glass of San Pellegrino for me, please. I make it a rule not to drink during the week. I have to look after myself, you know.’ Fiona laughed, as if to suggest that simply by looking at her one could see how her self-discipline was paying off.

‘Why do you feel like that, do you think?’ Leo asked.

‘Like what? Oh don’t start all that life coach bull with me, Leo. I know what you’re getting at. Why do I think I always have to look at the top of my game? Is that what you’re after?’

Leo just smiled and waited for Fiona to talk.

‘I want to look my best at all times. I never want Charles to be ashamed of me. I like to keep myself and my home in perfect order, so that we can be happy and comfortable. And you don’t hear Charles complaining, do you?’

Charles
. The mention of his name brought Leo back to earth with a bump. Here they were, having a bit of light-hearted banter, when dark secrets seemed to be lurking around every corner.

‘So you think that the perfect body, wonderful clothes and a stunning home is the key to marital bliss, do you?’ Leo asked, determined to carry on as if nothing had shaken her.

‘Look, Leo, could we please order lunch? If this is going to be an inquisition, I need some fuel. And perhaps I will break my own rule and have a glass of something light. A pinot grigio, maybe.’

For the next five minutes, Leo and Fiona studied the menu although Leo was fairly sure that Fiona would probably eat little more than a lettuce leaf or two. She wanted to know about Charles, and the gossip in the shop had suggested there was more to Fiona’s story than Leo was aware of. But a full blown interrogation was never going to work.

They ordered their meals and settled back to sip the wine.

‘Speaking of a stunning home, where are you living now? You’re at the far end of the village, aren’t you?’

‘Yes. About half a mile that way.’ Fiona vaguely pointed with her hand over her shoulder. ‘The house is a bit large for the two of us, but obviously we do have to entertain from time to time - for Charles’ work of course. We’re considering whether to add a conservatory actually; one that stretches the full length of the house so that we can have dinner parties there. The house backs onto the fields, and the views are divine so a conservatory would be a perfect addition to the property.’

Leo resisted the temptation to poke fun at Fiona. Sometimes there was a smugness about her that just begged for a caustic remark.

‘The design we’ve been working on is a bit more ambitious than an oblong box bolted onto the back of the house,’ Fiona continued. ‘So we need to get the plans finalised, and then get the relevant permissions. I don’t think it will be a problem. I’m rather hoping that deliciously sexy builder of Ellie’s will do the work. I’ve spoken to him about it on a couple of occasions and he’s been to check it out. He seems to think that we might be able to achieve what I want. And I’m sure it will all be approved.’

‘Do you think Sean’s sexy, then? Not my type,’ Leo said as her smoked chicken and bacon salad was placed on the table in front of her. Fiona’s lips turned up at one corner.

‘I didn’t think you had a type, Leo. A bit like me, I always thought. Indifferent to the charms of men. Or at least I was. I think it’s time for a change. What about you, though? Why haven’t you succumbed?’ Fiona signalled to the waiter for another glass of wine. It seemed that once she’d decided she was drinking, there was no stopping her. And what was she talking about? Time for a change?

‘You know me. I was brought up by a man who showed me quite clearly the way men think,’ Leo said. ‘Of themselves, principally. That’s been my experience, for what it’s worth. I don’t know if you remember my father, but I’m on a bit of a mission to find out what happened to him. Ellie seems to have made him into some kind of plaster saint, and until we know what happened to him she’s not going to let it go.’

Fiona was intent on fishing the most minute piece of shell from her crab salad.

‘Some things may be best left alone, you know Leo. Sometimes it’s better not to turn over too many stones, because you don’t know what might be crawling around under there.’ Fiona finally seemed to extract what she was looking for, and removed it to her side plate.

‘In my father’s case, I’m sure you’re right,’ Leo responded. ‘There must be some good guys out there, but boy do you have to be lucky. Charles seems the steady type, though, in spite of his rather out of character confession on Saturday night. Were you all right with that?’

Fiona gave her usual tinkling laugh, although to Leo it sounded ever so slightly hollow.

‘I was a bit cross with him. I don’t know why he said that, because Charles would no more have an affair than do a bungee jump dressed as a banana.’

Leo nearly choked on her wine as an image of a long and yellow Charles sprang into her mind.

‘Good grief, what on earth made you come up with that particular analogy?’ Leo asked, laughing openly at Fiona’s strangely serious expression.

‘I don’t know. It was the most ridiculous thing that I could think of; that, and Charles having an affair.’

‘Did he give you any excuse for his comment, particularly if it wasn’t true?’ Leo asked.

‘He said that I was behaving like a strumpet. His words, not mine. I thought I was just having a good time, and it was a bit of a gloomy old night, wasn’t it? Anyway, he thought that it might shock me into silence; a strategy which unfortunately failed. I know you think he’s a boring old fart, Leo, and to some extent you might be right. But he does have some redeeming features you know.’

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