Authors: Lisa Cardiff
I switched the gearshift into drive. I was free. I should have said a Hallelujah or two, but my freedom felt flat, lonely, and oppressive. I inhaled deeply through my nose to push back the rush of despair flooding my veins.
Yes, Evan and my old life would be waiting for me where the road met the highway, just like Ryker said. I should’ve been happy, and I was. Within twenty-four hours, I’d be back in my bed at either my parents’ house or my apartment with Evan. It was my choice.
Except, part of me didn’t want that life anymore. I’d driven a hundred yards down the road, and I already missed Ryker. I craved him with every inhalation and exhalation. Somehow over the past few weeks, he infected my blood. He infiltrated my mind and ruined me for anyone else. With every touch and brush of his lips, he shattered the illusions of my former life and everything I believed about myself.
I wanted him in my life, which was fucking stupid considering how he turned my life upside down and inside out. He abducted me, he used me to secure his brother’s release, but my heart refused to believe he didn’t care about me as much as I cared about him. His actions, his touch, and his eyes all said he felt something for me, but I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t trust him; but more importantly, I didn’t trust myself.
He took everything I offered him and more last night, and now I wanted it again. I wanted more. His uniquely Ryker scent still coated my body, burning my senses and taunting me with his absence. The ghost-like memory of his embrace as he held me last night lingered in the air, teasing me. The weight of his body against mine as he moved inside me was like an invisible blanket, covering every inch of my skin, branding me for life.
And that kiss…I shouldn’t have let that happen. I should’ve refused him and walked away, but that was the problem. I could never deny Ryker anything.
I slammed my hand against the steering wheel with a muttered curse. What the fuck was I thinking? I’d never see him again. I refused to believe otherwise, and wanting anything from him, even for a split second, was dangerous. “Move on, dammit. Move the fuck on!” I screamed in the empty car.
I knew Ryker was trouble from the first minute my eyes met his in that bar. If my ego hadn’t been bruised and battered by Evan’s betrayal, I would have walked away without a second glance and never looked back. Ryker said he would have found me anyway, but maybe things would have been different. Maybe I could’ve eluded him. Maybe I would’ve found someone else at the bar. Who the heck knows?
I shook my head and white-knuckled the steering wheel. I needed to put distance between Ryker and me. Distance would make everything better. This thing with Ryker, whatever it was or wasn’t, had ended. My sanity depended on my ability to scrub every last memory of him from my mind, my body, and my soul. What happened between us was my secret. I couldn’t share it…ever. Nobody would understand. When I felt stronger, I could come to terms with my behavior and make sense of it, but I had a feeling it would be a long, hard road before I succeeded.
As the trees cleared, I saw the highway about two hundred feet in the distance.
Highway 307.
The highway to freedom.
The highway to Evan.
The highway to my family.
The highway to my old life.
The highway away from Ryker…forever.
Forever was a long time.
I swallowed my heated sobs and wiped the evidence of my tear-stained face with the back of my hand. It was over, and just as the thought floated through my mind, I saw Evan leaning against a black sedan on the shoulder of the road, his sandy brown hair blowing in the wind, and his hands shoved deep into the front pockets of his perfectly starched khaki pants. Even from a distance, I noticed the wide smile on his face. That charming smile used to make my stomach flip, now it made it twist. He cheated, but what I did was infinitely worse. I betrayed him with my mind, body, and soul. Going back to my old life, pretending as though nothing happened, didn’t seem possible. But what options did I have?
I bit down hard on my lip until I tasted blood. “You can do this,” I whispered to myself, even as my mind begged me to thrust the gearshift into reverse and run back to Ryker. We were over. I needed to accept it and move forward, just like Ryker said.
I’d face Evan and my family alone. I’d spent the next god knows how long weaving elaborate lies about my time as a prisoner because Ryker’s name would never fall from my mouth ever again. He may own my body and a twisted part of my heart, but he wouldn’t own my words. “Let the games begin,” I said as I rolled down the window. The salty sea air washed over my skin and calmed my tattered nerves until the numbness swallowed me just as I had hoped.
Ryker
I raked my hands through my hair as I watched the back of Hattie’s car until it disappeared into the twisted vines and shrubs of the jungle. Only then did I pull my cell phone from my front pocket. “Senator Deveron, Miss Covington has been released.”
“Hold on, let me put my phone on speaker. My son will want to hear this too.”
I gritted my teeth, barely holding back the anger I wanted to unleash on both of them. “Fine,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Okay, go ahead,” Senator Deveron said.
“You can retrieve Miss Covington where the road leading from the compound intersects with Highway 307 in twenty minutes. She’ll be driving a light blue sedan,” I said.
“Perfect. Rever’s plane landed an hour ago. He should contact you soon.”
“He already did,” I offered. I wouldn’t have let Hattie drive away if I didn’t have confirmation of his release.
“Mr. Vargas, this is Evan Deveron.”
“Yes?” I responded with thinly veiled disgust dripping from my voice. I hated this fucking asshole from the moment an acquaintance introduced me to him, and that was before I met Hattie.
“I trust that Hattie will be untouched and in good condition.” Evan wanted to sound calm and business-like, but his voice wavered. He’d never be half the politician his father was, which was a good thing. He actually had a conscience living somewhere inside of him. Unfortunately for him, a conscience was a fatal flaw in D.C.
“Are you questioning how I do my job? You hired me to make you look like a fucking hero. Don’t question my methods, or I’ll drag her ass back here and you’ll never get your second chance,” I barked through the phone, refusing to answer Evan’s question. After last night, there was no way anyone could call Hattie untouched. In fact, I made a point to touch every inch of her so I’d be so far under her skin, it’d be my face she’d see anytime Evan or any other stuffy asshole touched her.
“No,” Senator Deveron said. “We understood the terms. As long as we find Hattie alive at the arranged meeting point, we’ll be thrilled with your services. Evan will have his second chance, and Rever won’t have the opportunity to reveal any undesirable information.”
Asshole.
He didn’t give a shit about Hattie. He needed the merger of the Deveron and Covington families so he had the U.S. Attorney General in his pocket—in case the media or anyone else stumbled on his less-than-legitimate connections to the dirty money of the Mexican underworld. It funded his campaigns. It bought his casino. It bought his hookers. “Send your fucking people in here to clean up this place. I don’t want any evidence connecting me to this shit.”
“They’re already on their way. It was a pleasure doing business with you again. One of these days, we’ll have to meet in person and discuss how I can get you to work for me full time. I’m going to run for President soon.”
“I never do business with people I haven’t met.” It wasn’t a lie. I never took a job without weaving myself into the person’s world beforehand. They may not know my real name or line of work, but I made sure I knew everything about them.
“We’ve met?” Senator Deveron’s voice wavered, exhibiting an uncharacteristic flicker of insecurity.
I chuckled, finding amusement in exposing his fear. “Of course. I know everything about you, including your weekly call to that escort service in Fairfax. Your Christian constituents back home wouldn’t look favorably on that information.”
His anger vibrated through the phone, but he didn’t scare me. Nobody did. Unlike my father, I bartered in information. Money didn’t rule the world. Information did, and I had it in spades. I owned everyone.
“Son,” Ignacio Vargas said, putting his hand on my shoulder as I disconnected my burner phone and removed the battery. “Did everything work out?”
“Just as we discussed.” I slipped the phone into my pocket.
“And Senator Deveron’s connections to the Vargas Cartel won’t be exposed?”
“Not today.” I crossed my arms over my chest. My life as a fixer wore on me, especially when my family sucked me back into the fold to deal with their shit. When I started in my line of work, I loved being the force behind the scenes, manipulating the world to right it again. Now I realized my naivety. There weren’t any good or bad guys. They were on the same fucking team, working for the same fucking goal. The struggle between the righteous and the evil was world-class theater to manipulate the masses into tiny pockets of fear and hatred. After all, it’s easier to control people divided than people united.
I needed to make some drastic changes in my life. I knew that. I knew it for the last twelve months. I never intended to stay in my current line of work indefinitely, anyway. I always had other plans…other goals, and now it was time to move forward. My untimely feelings for Hattie complicated things, but I had a plan, and I needed to see it through.
“Are you going to stay for a few more days?” Ignacio asked, interrupting my wandering thoughts.
“I’m afraid not,” I said, my voice completely void of emotion.
“I could use your help,” Ignacio replied. “Things are going to be crazy now that the Alvarez Cartel has claimed some of my territory.”
Ten years had elapsed since the last time Ignacio asked me to help him with the Cartel. Rever didn’t have it in him to fill the role my dad had groomed him for since he took his first gulp of air. Ignacio realized that now, but it was too late. Leaders were born, not made—and Rever wasn’t a leader. Not even close. He was weak. Ignacio knew it, I knew it, and so did every cartel in Mexico. He’d never be the leader Ignacio craved.
“I can’t. I have other responsibilities. My next job starts in a few days.”
Ignacio nodded staring into the darkness. “It should have been you, not Rever.”
“Rever’s your legitimate son.” I could have said more, but no other words were necessary. We both knew the score, but his words meant more to me than I’d ever admit. A black sedan pulled up in front of the Villa. “This is my ride.”
“Take care of yourself.” Ignacio handed me my black lambskin briefcase. Except my computer, Senator Deveron’s cleaners would destroy all of my personal items with the rest of the evidence. Like every other job, I disappeared without a trace when it ended—a ghost with two identities, floating between two countries and two lives.
“Thanks.” I slipped into the back seat of the car.
“Ryker?” my dad said, his hand braced on the top of the door.
“Yes?”
“Are you going after her?”
“Miss Covington?” We both knew he meant Hattie.
My dad chuckled. “Yes, her.”
“Why would I go after her? The job is over. Everyone got what they wanted.”
“Except you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t think I noticed someone turned off the cameras in her room last night, or that someone deleted the video feed of the pool?” He shook his head in disbelief, a low, harsh laugh escaping his mouth.
“I don’t know what—”
“I’m not going to hurt her.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft. “She’s important to you, and that makes her important to me.”
Stunned, I didn’t respond immediately, but then I saw the sincerity in his face, and I believed him. “I haven’t decided. I don’t know if she’s worth the hassle. My life is complicated.” My stomach revolted, hating my answer, and I clenched my jaw, biting back the emotion. She was worth that and more, but the layers upon layers of lies and an impenetrable wall of complications stood between her and me.
“So that’s what you’re telling yourself.” Ignacio shook his head, his eyes distant. “I didn’t go after your mother. I regretted it.” He combed his hands through his salt and pepper hair. My dad looked old and tired, no longer the larger than life man I remembered from my youth. I had been so caught up in my attraction to Hattie, I barely noticed. “I still do, every day. She was the love of my life. Time and distance can’t alter true love.”
Ignacio had closed the door before I formed a response, as though he hadn’t turned my world upside down. My mom never found someone to love after she walked away from my dad. She lived in the past rather than the present, constantly reliving memories rather than creating new ones. All the while, Ignacio had a family, abundant wealth, and an army of servants.
She never complained, though. In fact, she always said she’d rather live alone than be a mistress or spend her life with someone she didn’t love. I shook my head to clear the emotional turmoil bubbling under the surface.
“Good evening, Mr. Vargas.”
“Thanks for changing your plans, Javier. I hate dragging you away from your wife and kids so early in the morning, but I have a flight to catch.”
“No problem, sir. I understand.”
I opened my laptop and scanned through my email.
Fuck.
I forgot about my afternoon meeting with Rever. “When you drop me off at the airport, call my brother and tell him my plans have changed. Ignacio wanted me to debrief him today, but I need to be in D.C. by this evening. He’ll have to do it himself.”
“Of course.”