Secrets
I walked close to the longhouse entrance, past where Sal sat talking with Bugs and Jean, and continued along to the beach path. At the first corner I stopped, leaning against the fin of a rocket-ship tree, and lit up. Sal appeared when I was about an inch from the filter.
'Something is up,' she said immediately. 'What is it?'
I raised my eyebrows.
'By the way you walked, by the look in your eye. How do you think I know? So spit it out, Richard. Tell me what's happened.'
I opened my mouth to reply but she beat me to it.
'They're on their way, aren't they?'
'...Yes.'
'Fuck.' Sal stared into middle distance for a few seconds. Then she snapped back into sharp-focus mode. 'What's their ETA?'
'Sometime tomorrow afternoon, if they don't get scared off by the dope guards.'
'Or the waterfall.'
'Or the waterfall. Yeah.'
'Their timing is unbelievable,' Sal muttered. 'Absolutely unbelievable.'
'It turns out they were building a raft.'
'Building a raft. Of course they were. They had to be doing something...' She clutched her forehead. 'I'm taking it for granted you know about Christo.'
I thought for a moment, then nodded. I didn't want to get Jed in trouble, but when Sal was in this mood it was dangerous to lie. 'You don't mind me knowing?' I said nervously.
'No. The thing about secrets is you can't keep them unless you tell at least one other person. It's too much pressure. So I knew he had to tell someone, and I was fairly sure it would be you...' She shrugged.' ...Seeing as you have your own secrets to keep, I figured that this way we'd keep all the secrets together in one little bunch.'
'...Oh.'
'Yes. It is clever, isn't it? Unless...'
I waited.
'Unless the person you told about our guests wasn't Jed. After all, Jed already knew, so it was hardly telling him a secret...'
'...Hardly relieving the pressure.'
'Quite,' she said casually, but watching me pretty close. 'So did you tell anyone apart from Jed? Keaty maybe... Or Françoise? I certainly hope it wasn't Françoise, Richard. I'll be extremely upset if you told Françoise.'
I shook my head. 'I didn't tell a living soul,' I said firmly, thereby excluding Mister Duck.
'Good.' Sal looked away, satisfied. 'To tell the truth, I was worried you might have told Françoise. She'd tell Étienne, you see... And you haven't told Françoise about Christo either?'
'I only found out about Christo twenty minutes ago.'
'If Étienne finds out about Christo...'
'I know. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.'
'Fine.' Her gaze lapsed back into middle distance. 'OK, Richard... It looks like we have a slight problem with these rafters... But you don't think they can possibly get here until tomorrow?'
'No way.'
'Absolutely sure?'
'Yes.'
'Then I'm going to sleep on this. I need time to think. I'll give you my decision on what we do about them in the morning.'
'Right...'
I hung around, unsure as to whether I'd been dismissed or not. A full minute later, Sal was still gazing into nothingness, so I slipped away.
Black Cloud
I felt I could use some time to think myself, so instead of going back to the clearing I headed down to the beach. I had complicated thoughts about the way things had developed over the course of the day, and I wanted to clear them up in my head.
The way I saw it, there was something that both Sal and Jed hadn't picked up on. Whether the rafters reached the beach or not, there was still the question of Karl.
I'll put it another way. Sal and Jed were stuck on the worst-case scenario. They were thinking in terms of what would happen if the rafters reached us. Zeph and Sammy would arrive, probably during Tet. Everyone would go crazy and freak out about the secrecy of the beach being compromised, and unless I got to Zeph and Sammy first, I'd be in a lot of trouble too. The morale that had been revived by Sal's stirring speech would be completely destroyed. Not only that, there'd be the difficulty of explaining to outsiders why we had one insane and one dying Swede with us. It would be a catastrophe.
I, however, was thinking in terms of the rafters not reaching us. In the back of my mind, the reason I'd been half looking forward to Zeph and Sammy's arrival was the challenge of stopping them. And, I was fairly confident, the challenge would somehow be met. The point was that it
had
to be met. The consequences of them succeeding were far too serious. I didn't know how we'd manage it, but with Sal on the case my instincts were that we wouldn't fail.
So this left not a worst-case scenario to consider, but a medium-case one.
The rafters never reach us. The beach is never aware they even tried. The Tet celebration gives us a fresh start for the new year, and we would cope with Christo's death the same way we'd coped with Sten's. But what about Karl? Karl wasn't about to die. He was going to stick around indefinitely, a constant reminder of our troubles, an albatross around our necks.
This bothered me a great deal.
I bent over, peering at Karl's yellow face through the palm-tree fronds of his shelter. He was painfully thin. Even though he'd accepted food recently, flesh had fallen off him over the past week. Already his collar-bone stuck out so far it looked like a suitcase handle, as if you could pick him up by it. He'd probably have been light enough if I'd wanted to try.
Lying by the gap in his shelter — the one that gave him a clear view over the lagoon to the caves — was a coconut-shell half-full of water and a banana-leaf parcel of rice. What was left of the rice, I noticed, was browning. From this I guessed it was the parcel Françoise had left him yesterday, dried out from a day in the sun. It suggested Françoise hadn't replenished the supply. I contemplated the possibility that this was a new therapy tactic — ignoring him so he'd be goaded into signs of life—but I doubted it. It was more likely that, gripped by the camp's sudden upbeat brand of madness, Françoise had simply forgotten. I remembered my conversation with her the day before. She'd seemed concerned about him back then. It was interesting how quickly Sten's funeral had turned everything around.
'Karl,' I said.
Maybe it was hearing his name, or maybe I was tricked by a breeze disturbing the palm fronds and playing the shadow slits across his head, but I thought I saw him move. I chose to take this as a reaction.
'Karl, you're a fucking albatross.'
I wasn't much bothered that he couldn't understand me. In a way, for Karl's sake, it was probably a good thing.
'You're a black cloud.'
This time Karl did move. No doubt about it. He made a little jerky movement forward, like he was stiff from having sat still so long. Then slowly he reached out of the shelter and picked up the coconut-shell.
'Hey,' I said. 'Drinking. That's good.' I rubbed my stomach. 'Mmm.'
He took a tiny sip - it couldn't have done more than wet his mouth — and put the shell back in its place. I glanced over. There was still a gulp of water left in the bottom.
'You left some. Aren't you going to finish it up?' I rubbed my stomach again. 'Mmm-mm. Very delicious. Aren't you going to have a little more?'
He didn't move. I watched him for a short while before shaking my head.
'No, Karl. You aren't. And that's my point. You're going to keep going like this for days. You'll get so thin and weak that you won't be able to drink even if you want to. Then we'll have to force-feed you or something and this shark business will end up hanging over us for weeks... Maybe more!'
I sighed and, as an afterthought, kicked down his shelter.
'Get sane, Karl. Do it in a hurry. Because Christo's going to be dead soon.'
Shh
To confirm my fears about the black cloud, when I did return to the clearing I found it causing trouble. Françoise, Étienne and Keaty were sitting in a circle, and Étienne and Keaty were repeating the argument I'd heard them have before.
'What's the big deal?' Keaty was saying, at the same time as he played his Gameboy. 'He's taking water. That's good, isn't it?'
'Good?' Étienne scoffed. 'Why is it good for him to take a little water? Nothing is
good
about his condition. Karl should not be here. This is obvious to me, and I cannot believe it is not obvious for everybody else.'
'Give it a fucking rest, Étienne. We've been over this a hundred ti... Oops.' He paused, frowning in intense concentration. Then his body slumped and he let the Nintendo drop to his lap. 'One five three lines. I was going fine until you distracted me.'
Étienne spat in the dust. 'So sorry. How could I distract you from a computer game because our friend is in need of help?'
'Wasn't my friend. Hardly spoke to him.'
'Does that mean you do not care about his problems?'
'Sure I do. I just care about the beach more. And you should too. OK. Now this time I'm going for the record, so I don't want any more of these bullshit distractions.'
Étienne got to his feet. 'What would be a real distraction for you, Keaty? Please tell me. Then I will pray I never have to see it.'
The question went unanswered.
'Sit down, Étienne,' I said, in an attempt to lower the temperature.
'Remember what Sal was saying at the funeral. We've got to get over all the difficulties we've had.'
'Difficulties,' he echoed coldly.
'Everyone else is making an effort.'
'Really? I am surprised to hear that you find it an effort.'
'What's that supposed to mean?'
'It means maybe I do not know you any more, Richard. I recognize your face when you walk towards me, but when you are close I recognize nothing in your eyes.'
I took this as some French saying he'd translated. 'Come on, Étienne. This is stupid. Remember Sal's...'
'Sal,' he interrupted, 'can fuck herself.' Then he marched away in the direction of the waterfall path.
'Actually,' Keaty muttered thoughtfully, not looking up from the tiny monochrome screen, 'I doubt even Sal could manage that.'
A couple of minutes later Françoise also left. She seemed annoyed, so I guessed she didn't feel the same way as Étienne.
When Keaty had finished his Tetris high-score attempt, I finally got the chance to ask him what he felt about doing the Rice Run with Bugs. He said he was pretty relaxed about it. He also said it had been a bit of a shock at first, but he'd come round to the idea if it was for the benefit of the camp. Aside from being a decent conciliatory gesture, he wanted to make sure we had some good stuff brought in for the Tet festival.
I wanted to talk more about Tet, but Sal wanted the Rice Run over in one day so they were getting a very early start and he needed to turn in. I sat alone for twenty minutes or so, polishing off a bedtime joint, then I decided to turn in too. With Zeph and Sammy on their way, Keaty wasn't the only one with a heavy day ahead.
I stuck my head into the hospital tent on the way back to the longhouse, thinking Jed would appreciate another look in. But as soon as I saw inside, I wished I'd stayed away.
Jed was fast asleep, lying next to Christo. Christo, however, was semi-awake. He even recognized me.
'Richard,' he whispered, then muttered something in Swedish and made a gurgling noise.
I hesitated a moment, unsure of whether I should be talking to him.
'Richard.'
'Yes,' I whispered back. 'How are you feeling?'
'I feel very bad, Richard. I feel very bad.'
'I know, but you'll be better soon.'
'Stars...'
'You see them?'
'Phos... phos...'
'...phorescence,' I finished. 'You can see it?'
'I feel very bad.'
'You need some sleep.'
'Sten...'
'You'll see him in the morning.'
'My chest...'
'Close your eyes.'
'Hurts...'
'I know. Close your eyes.'
'Very bad...'
'Shh now.'
Beside him, Jed stirred, and Christo fractionally turned his head. 'Karl?'
'Right there next to you. Don't move or you'll wake him.'
He nodded and at last his eyes shut.
'Have good dreams,' I said, maybe too quietly for him to hear.
I pegged the tent-flap open behind me as I left. I wanted to keep Jed from breathing too much of that dying air.
FNG, KIA
Fuckin' A
Bugs and Keaty left just after five thirty. Sal gave me my instructions at a quarter to six.
I liked being up while everyone else was asleep. I almost always was, since I'd started working up on the island, but usually there were a few signs of stirring: a spot of movement in one of the tents or someone padding their way across the clearing to the Khyber Pass. That morning the camp was as still and quiet and cool as it could ever be. It made everything more exciting. While I talked with Sal and Jed outside the hospital tent, I was so keyed up for the day ahead that I had to keep hopping from one foot to the other. I could tell it was pissing Sal off but I couldn't stop myself. If I hadn't channelled my energy somewhere I'd have started shouting or running around in little circles.
Sal and Jed were arguing. They both agreed that I should head into the DMZ and track Zeph and Sammy's progress across the island. The disagreement was over the interception point. Sal said not until they reached the top of the waterfall, putting some faith in the obstacle course. Jed said earlier, as early as possible, although he seemed reluctant to explain why. Personally, I was siding with Sal, although I kept my mouth shut.
Interception point aside, they both agreed on what to do next. I was to tell the rafters that they weren't welcome and that they should leave at once. That failing, I was to keep them from descending the waterfall. Any way I saw fit to delay them was acceptable, in Sal's words. If necessary I would stay up there with them, missing Tet. It could be explained to the rest of the beach later. Nothing was more
important than making sure they didn't arrive at camp until Christo was dead. After that, we would work out whether to let them down or keep them out.
By the way Sal was talking, I was sure she had a fall-back plan that she wasn't telling us. I knew the way her head worked and she wasn't the type to say, 'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.' Especially with something so important. The thing I particularly didn't understand was the idea of turning Zeph and Sammy's group back. If we got to the point where I was forced to intercept them, turning them back seemed as problematic as letting them stay. You could as good as guarantee they would talk about what they'd found back on Ko Pha-Ngan or Ko Samui, and we'd have lost our secret status.
If it had been anyone else but Sal, I'd have pointed this out, but with her I didn't feel it was worth bothering. I felt sure that if I'd been able to think of it, she would have too. I don't think I remember her asking my opinion about anything, unless it was to lead me into something by making it seem like my idea. Come to think of it, I don't remember her asking anyone's opinion. Not even Bugs'.
If it needs saying, the argument about the interception point was eventually won by Sal. A big surprise. I honestly don't know why Jed even tried.
Mister Duck was waiting for me at the pass. He was dressed in full combat fatigues with an M16 over his shoulder and his face all painted up with green and black camouflage stripes.
'What's with the gun?' I said when I saw him.
'Just making sure I fit the bill,' he replied flatly.
'Does it work?'
'Works for me.'
'Guess that's a yes...' I walked past him so I could see down the pass to the DMZ. 'So how you feeling? Nervous?'
'I feel good. I feel ready.'
'Ready for the recon?'
'Well...' He smiled. 'Just ready, that's all.'
'Just ready,' I muttered. I always felt suspicious of his lopsided
grin. 'Daffy, there'd better not be something going on here that I don't know about.'
'Mmm.'
'Mmm what?'
'Mmm let's get going.'
'I'm serious. Don't start any of your shit. Not today.'
'Time is ticking, Rich. We've got an RV to keep.'
I hesitated, then nodded. 'OK... If you're all set.'
'All set.'
'Then let's do it.'
'Fuckin' A.'