The Bears of Blackrock, Books 1 - 3: The Fenn Clan (25 page)

“Shall I take you right here, then?” He asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Shall I have my way with you?”

Joe’s eyes were clamped shut, as though she might hide from this feeling of exposure. Kirk tugged at her hips, pulling her backside against him, letting her feel him, hard beneath his jeans. She couldn’t answer him.

Kirk reached back, and she listened to the sound of him unbuttoning his jeans. A moment later, he took hold of her hips again, and almost tentatively pulled her back against him. His hard cock was pressed to her ass now. She gasped, still unable to make a sound.

“I want to hear you, Josephine,” he whispered, his lips pressed to her ear again. She took a breath, searching for the courage to speak, but his hand moved across her belly now, sliding downward as he took hold of her breast with the other hand. His fingers slid between her legs, finding the wetness there and groaning in appreciation. She whimpered again, shock and desperation crashing together as his fingers began to move.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked, though his fingers continued to move with increasing purpose. A gasp caught in throat, but she couldn’t respond. She shook her head and his pace doubled.

Joe cried out.

Kirk gave a wicked chuckle. “Damn it, I want to hear you.”

With that, he grabbed her by the hips, spun her around to face him, and before she could wholly take in the sight of him – his naked skin, his cock at attention – Kirk dropped to his knees, grabbed her right leg by the ankle, and yanked it up over his shoulder. Joe barely had time to scream before Kirk pressed his face between her legs with enough force to slam her back into the door. His whole mouth pressed to her, open and eager, his tongue darting with force and purpose. The shock of what was happening hit her, and her heart pounded in her chest. No one had touched her like this in so long – perhaps ever. Joe tried to recoil from him, but he simply gripped her hips, pressing his mouth harder. He growled there between her legs, devouring her with such delight, she couldn’t bring herself to protest. Kirk’s fingers began to play at her sex, and for a moment, she found herself writhing into him, her body begging him onward. He glanced up at her, his dark eyes betraying a smile as his fingers slid inside her. She cried out his name. Joe wanted nothing more than to grab him by the hair, press him to her, but her nerves would never let her, even if her hands were free. Instead her hips moved against him, thrusting toward him in her preferred rhythm. He matched it instantly, his fingers moving deeper as she urged him on.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, and the words startled her. Kirk responded with a satisfied groan, his tongue moving over her with purpose. Her body was responding, her muscles tensing around him. He seemed to notice, and the knowledge only inspired him further. Joe watched him there, writhing against his mouth, aching for release. Her body tensed and his fingers slammed into her, tripling their speed. Joe cried out in a long, desperate scream as her body succumbed to him. Kirk’s movements didn’t slow until she was breathless and limp. Then he was on his feet, his fingers hooked behind her knee, pulling her leg around him.

He brushed his hand over his face before leaning into her. “Are you ready for me?”

Joe gasped. Oh god, it was happening.

She nodded.

“Tell me,” he said. “I want to hear you say you want it.”

She gasped, terrified to speak. She couldn’t look at him, let alone speak with that dark, affectionate gaze just inches away, looming over her as she stood there helpless and exposed. She took a deep breath, hooking her knee behind him, as though he might let her body speak for her. His cock slipped between her legs, and she almost whined in frustration.

“I can’t,” she finally said.

Kirk grabbed her hips, pulling her against him, letting her feel him slide against the wetness he’d left behind. “Yes you can. Tell me you want me.”

Joe closed her eyes tight. She felt helpless. She wanted him more than words could express, but somehow she couldn’t form the words – she couldn’t bare herself like that. Her body was his to have, her skin unshielded, but her heart – she was terrified to expose that, and even just the words ‘I want you,’ felt too weighty to say.

Kirk let her leg fall from his grasp, his hands coming up to her face. He took her face in his hands and turned her toward him. “Look at me, Josephine.”

She felt the urge to cry bubbling from somewhere deep within.

Please don’t make me do this, she thought. Just take me. Just make the dark thoughts go away and take me. Don’t make me feel. Don’t make me admit what I feel.

“Look at me.”

Her throat grew tight, but she opened her eyes, meeting Kirk’s soft, loving gaze, just inches over her, his rough hands cradling her face. He stared into her eyes a moment, his thumb brushing over her lips.

“I will
never
hurt you, Josephine.”

Joe’s heart ruptured, and her eyes welled up and spilled over. She’d lived a decade in fear – lived in constant terror that the darkness of her past would find her and take everything. She’d seen those fears realized in the corner booth of the Blackrock Tavern just the day before, but there in the dark of Kirk Fenn’s bedroom, she heard a vow of safety, that all would be well, and despite years of knowing nothing but fear – she believed him.

He watched the tears come, brushing them away without a word. “I will never let anyone hurt you. Never again.”

A sob caught in her throat, and Kirk enveloped her in his arms. He grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open, loosing the ropes that held her there. Her arms fell over his head, and he collected her up in his arms, carrying her to the bed. She clung to him like moss to a tree, her arms and legs clamped around him with such desperate need that her strength surprised her. He lowered her down onto the bed, his body still between her legs, his lips at her ear, then her cheek, kissing her softly. Kirk knelt over her a moment, untying her wrists before lowering himself over her, pressing his lips to hers with such passion, it nearly stole her breath. She couldn’t hold him tight enough if she’d all he strength in the world.

She lost her fingers in the tendrils of his hair, clutching him to her, kissing him back as though his lips were the only source of oxygen. Finally, she pulled from his kiss, breathless.

“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything, Kirk.”

His eyes went wide for just a moment before his lips returned to hers, devouring her mouth with the same passion he’d devoured her sex. She melted beneath him. Then she felt his body shift over her, and an instant later, the hardness of him found the softness of her. He pressed himself between her legs and slid inside, unhindered. Her body contoured to him, instantly. Joe cried out against his lips, half in shock and pain, but as his body began to move over her, the friction between them overwhelmed her. He felt as though he’d been made for her, and she for him.

“Oh please!” She cried, but his lips found hers again, unwilling to relinquish this kiss. She pulled at him, urging him on as his hips moved with purpose. She reached down to his backside, digging her nails into the soft flesh there, pulling him onward. He growled into her mouth.

Finally, he broke the kiss, lifting himself over her. He loomed there, the muscles in his arms and stomach tensing as he thrust into her, his speed and force quickly building. His curls were wild about his head, and his eyes were focused on her. She felt that same exposure, that same vulnerability at being seen, yet she didn’t look away. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, and despite the tightness in her chest, she watched him, relishing in his lustful expressions.

“Ah, fuck,” he whispered, shifting his knees on the bed to drill deeper.

She gasped, crying out in desperation. She wanted to feel him succumb in her arms. She hoisted her legs higher, urging him onward. He hunched over her then, grinding into her as his breaths became hoarse and ragged.

“Yes. Yes!” She screamed, her body tightening around him again.

He growled over her, the growl building to a roar as she came beneath him. He thrust four more angry times. Then his thrusts softened, and Kirk lowered himself over her, slumping there with his nose buried in her hair.

They lay there in silence a moment, panting against each other, their sweat lingering between them. Joe lay there, Kirk still inside her, their breath slowing in tandem. She watched the beams in the ceiling overhead and felt her lip tremble. Joe’s hand went to her face, shielding herself from view in embarrassment as she began to cry.

Kirk seemed to feel her body shuddering beneath him, lifting himself just enough to look at her. He touched his hand to hers, pulling it from her face. The sudden exposure made her grief flood to the surface even faster. She couldn’t explain this sudden upheaval, but it was as though the physical release had loosed some deep flood, and it was pouring to the surface with the force of a tidal wave.

And he could see it. The thought that he might think less of her for crying only made the grief stronger. Kirk wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her against him as she buried her face into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry! You must think I’m a basketcase.” She managed to whisper through sobs.

He chuckled softly. “Sh. You have nothing to apologize for.”

The gentle inflection of his voice – betraying patience and affection – only fueled her breakdown, and she found herself clutching him to her, sobbing uncontrollably as he held her, running his big hands over her tangled hair.

He rolled them onto their sides, pulling her close as he kissed her forehead and pulled the quilt over them. “You’re safe, Josephine. And you’re wanted.”

Her hand shot to her face again, shielding herself as these words settled into her core and fought to take root there. How had he known what to say?

He ran his fingers into her hair, brushing his thumb to her ear, and he held her until the tears were spent.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Despite a shower and the passage of hours, Kirk could still smell her on his skin as they climbed out of the truck in the Blackrock Middle School parking lot.

Josephine moved with a new, almost strange self-awareness, as though she was always half expecting to find him glancing her way. It was an appropriate expectation. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

He knew now how she moved in the dark, knew the taste of her. Instead of drawing confidence from their shared intimacy, she seemed to feel almost exposed by it, blushing and looking away whenever she caught his eyes on her. They spent the band concert in the back row of the auditorium, Joe clapping and hollering the loudest of all, despite shrinking under his gaze. He reached over and squeezed her thigh halfway through Hot Cross Buns. She blushed and he was sure her body temperature raised by at least two degrees.

Kirk listened to the cacophony of the Middle School band, showing their first notes, to their first songs, with errant, off-key notes peppered throughout. Each one drew a smile, but he watched appreciatively, waving back to Rory when she spotted them in the crowd, her nose crinkling as she waved excitedly.

Despite the trepidation of Joe’s demeanor, he caught her smiling to herself as well, her hand shooting to cover her face every few moments as a grin spread over her lips, and her nose crinkled in the familiar expression she shared with her daughter. He tried desperately not to imagine his own children making the same expression.

Cut it out, Kirk, he thought.

Still, he was a Fenn. The thought of having found the woman that might make him a father made his heart ache. Especially if his children turned out anything like the little girl on that band stage.

They’d made love more than once that day, each time growing more adventurous and easy with the other’s touch. Her tears ceased soon enough, giving way to laughter and comfort like nothing he’d ever experienced before. He couldn’t wait to get her back home. Yet, as they sat in the Middle School auditorium, watching Rory Little play her clarinet with focused determination, he wondered how he might steal a moment with the little girl’s mother and not betray the knowledge of their tryst to Rory. She was a smart girl. She’d figure it out soon enough – but would her mother want her to know?

He still harbored a fear that she’d up and leave – that this spell would be broken and he’d one day find the house empty, no sign left to betray the presence of this woman or the child he’d cared for. He was in over his head, and his heart was in constant flux as they stood up to applaud the end of Rory’s first band concert, Josephine’s hip brushing against his.

The crowds filtered out into the cold air, all oohing and awing as they arrived outside to find it had started snowing while they were in the concert, an inch deep blanket of new snow over everything. Even Joe smiled at the sight of it, commenting on the fickle nature of Maine’s weather.

“Did you like it? What did you think? What was your favorite song?” Rory asked as they pulled out of the parking lot of the school.

Kirk smiled into the rear view at her. “I think Hot Cross Buns is always a winner.”

“That was a good one!” Joe said. “But I think you guys nailed that Mozart piece.”

Rory made a face. “We didn’t do Mozart.”

Kirk and Josephine both glanced back to her. “You sure did,” they said in unison. They both paused, glancing at each other before Kirk turned his eyes back to the road, smiling.

“Twinkle Little Star is by Mozart,” Joe said, smiling.

Rory’s eyes went wide. “It is?”

Rory and her mother chatted about band practice and how well Rory was getting along with her music teacher until they reached the Fenn property gate. Kirk hopped out to open it quickly, the smell of wood smoke thick in the air. He climbed back in, a shudder of chill creeping down his spine as he settled back into his seat.

“He says I could be really good soon. And maybe I will have a solo in the next concert.”

“That would be great!” Joe said.

Kirk shot her a glance, a fleeting sense of excitement at the comment. The next concert wouldn’t be for months. Did she plan to stay that long?

Please God, let her stay.

Kirk kept his pace slow as they drove down the dirt road. His grandfather would plow in the early morning if the snow continued to accumulate, but for now, Kirk just trudged his four wheel drive way down the snow covered road, passing Janice and Carl Fenn’s house, their chimney belching smoke in the wintry evening.

“He says I need to practice more with Gracie, though. If I want to get that good.”

Kirk and Joe shot each other a look, and Joe smiled. “That’s a good idea. You can go toot your horn up over the garage, maybe?”

Kirk nodded. “That sounds like a perfect idea.”

The truck bucked beneath them, then shuddered downward, a rhythmic thumping sound betraying a flat tire. Kirk slammed on the brakes, pulling over just enough to allow another vehicle to pass if needed.

“What happened?” Rory asked from the backseat, her voice betraying worry.

Kirk raised a hand to still her concerns. “No worries, sweetheart. Just sounds like a flat tire.”

“Shit! Do you have a spare? This isn’t the weather to be changing a tire in,” Joe said, squeezing his hand as he opened the driver’s side door to climb out.

He shrugged. “I’m a hot blooded guy. It won’t take more than a few minutes. We’re not even a quarter mile from home if you two want to hoof it while I take care of it.”

“No!” Joe said, betraying a sudden edge in her tone. She quickly tried to regain her composure. “No, no. We’ll stay with you. It wouldn’t be any fun in the house all alone.”

Kirk shot her a look, smiling, but he knew the meaning behind her words. In the bliss of that afternoon, he’d almost forgotten.

Kirk stepped out of the truck and felt the same shudder creep up his spine. The air smelled of winter and smoke, like any other snowy night. He turned toward the white washed field, then glanced toward the trees. The night was dark, and the falling snow hid much of the world from view, but even snowblind, something felt strange in the tranquil space. He glanced down at the front tire, frowning. It wasn’t just flat; it was blown out.

He sighed, frustrated. “Jesus! What did we run over?” He said to himself as he headed to the back of the truck for the spare. He marched around the back of the truck, an inexplicable sense of urgency rising in his chest. He reached the truck bed before he noticed the back tire – it was blown out as well. Kirk’s brow furrowed as he checked the other side of the truck, quickly.

All four tires were flat.

“Josie, honey? Do you have any signal on your phone? Can you call a number for me?”

He stood at the back of the truck, the hair on his arms rising.

“No, it says no signal. Do you need help?”

Kirk swallowed and rounded the truck to the driver’s side door. He took a breath, steadying himself before he spoke. “Why don’t you guys climb out and we’ll trek up to the house, alright?”

“Is something wrong?” Joe asked, and her tone was instantly shaken.

“It’s fine. Just blew more than one tire. I need to call Gramps and get him down here to move the truck for me.”

Joe snatched her phone up again, frowning. “I can try again? Maybe if I move around -”

Joe opened the passenger door to the truck and began to climb out. Kirk was around the truck in an instant to meet her. She startled at his sudden urgency, searching his face. He silently cursed himself for letting her see his nerves. Damn it, she needs you to be calm. She needs you to be fearless. Don’t let her see your hackles are up.

“Yeah, let’s just walk guys. I can call from the house phone. You have your jacket back there, meatball?”

Rory wrapped herself up, clutching her clarinet case to her chest as she climbed out into the snow. Kirk wrapped his own coat around Josephine and they began to walk, his forearms bare against the cold.

The snow crunched under foot, their boots leaving perfect prints as they made their way down the road. Kirk rubbed his hand over Rory’s arm, pulling her into him as they marched along. The truck betrayed the random ticks and hums of a cooling engine in the distance behind them, but otherwise, the world was silent, save for the strange tussle of snowflakes landing on the drifts along the edge of the road. The dirt road was framed by four foot banks left by Patrick Fenn’s plow truck on his previous pass. Rory crossed a bit closer to Kirk as Josephine marched ahead of them by a couple lengths, her own nerves beginning to betray her. There was something mysterious and beautiful about the world at that moment, but sadly Kirk couldn’t appreciate it. All he could think of was getting this precious cargo of his inside the house, and behind locked doors.

What the hell had blown out all four tires?

The smell caught him so suddenly, he almost swung a fist. He spun around just in time to hear the engine of his crippled truck roar, and the tires kick in the gravel. The massive vehicle took off, barreling toward them in the dark, its V6 engine roaring to life with murderous intent. There was no time. Josephine was yards away, Rory beside him, her fear cutting through the smell of the cold. He couldn’t save them both. It was one or the other, both trapped at the center of the road, four foot snow drifts on either side. No more than a second to choose. No more than a second.

He couldn’t choose.

Kirk grabbed Rory by the coat and threw her full tilt over the nearest snow drift, her small body disappearing out of view of the headlights as Josephine approached behind him.

Kirk squared his legs, leaned forward, and felt the familiar shudder through his body as he shifted into the bear. He heard Josephine scream again as he planted his front paws into the snow, and with a silent prayer, heaved his whole body into the oncoming truck.