The Beauty of Surrender

Praise for the novels of Eden Bradley

A 21st Century Courtesan

“This story showcases the beauty of sex and love …. If you read
A 21st Century Courtesan
for nothing but the mind-blowing sex, you will be utterly satisfied; but the deeper satisfaction comes from … learning that we all have the ability to choose at any moment to be different from our past.”

—Romance Reader at Heart

“No one writes erotic love stories like Eden Bradley.”

—Romance Junkies

Forbidden Fruit

“Bradley delivers the goods. There is intense intimacy and heart-wrenching emotions …. This is delicious and delightful from the first page until the conclusion.”

—
Romantic Times

“Graphic, loving, and incredibly well-written, the sex scenes ratchet up the drama with unbelievable intensity …. Sexual desire intertwines with emotional intensity, resulting in a book you won’t want to put down … a thoroughly delightful read. Don’t miss
Forbidden Fruit.”

—Romance Junkies

Exotica

“It was perfect …. The emotional intensity of [Bradley’s] books and characters is like none I have ever read.
Exotica
should not be missed.”

—Romance Junkies

“Eden Bradley is one of the best erotic authors out there.”

—Romantic Times

The Darker Side of Pleasure

“Bradley’s excellent prose and clear shifts in point of view create well-rounded stories that are sure to satisfy …. This is a very enticing read.”

—Romance Reader at Heart

“Ms. Bradley’s writing is intelligent, insightful, and lays you onto a hotbed of complexities, placing her on my supreme list of favored authors.”

—Night Owl Romance Reviews

The Dark Garden

“[A] riveting tale of complex relationships … Bradley’s well-crafted descriptions help you to visualize the edgy and erotic scenes … strong characters surround the main couple, and a deftly handled subplot rounds out this amazing novel.”

—
Romantic Times

“Everything about
The Dark Garden
worked to perfection … the most beautifully written BDSM novel this reviewer has ever read. Ms. Bradley has a masterful touch to make pain the ultimate reading pleasure.”

—Love Romances & More

ALSO BY EDEN BRADLEY

A 21st Century Courtesan
Forbidden Fruit
Exotica
The Darker Side of Pleasure
The Dark Garden

Acknowledgments

I must acknowledge Tammi Flora, who brainstormed the end of this book with me; Vivienne Westlake, Lilli Feisty, and Lanie Bancroft, for listening to my incessant whining and being my cheerleaders throughout this process. Gemma Halliday, Crystal Jordan, and RG Alexander, always. To my agent, Roberta Brown, for her exuberance, hand-holding, and endless encouragement in dark times. And to S, for being my inspiration, my comfort, and supporting me through an incredibly difficult period in my life. Thank you all!

PART ONE

Serving the Master
Desmond and Ava

Chapter One

A
VA PUSHED THROUGH
the door of the small café on Columbus Avenue. The rich scent of coffee hit her right away, along with the pungent aroma of garlic that seemed to be everywhere in North Beach, San Francisco’s Italian district. She paused, allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim, gray light filtering in through the windows. To take a breath, to allow her heartbeat to calm. It wasn’t working. She looked around the café, full of the casual Sunday-afternoon crowd. They hadn’t arrived yet. Relief ran warm in her body, mixing with the exquisite tension that had been with her for several days, ever since her conversation with Marina about what she needed.

What she needed. She wasn’t used to thinking in those terms, not in any sort of thorough way. She’d spent her whole adult life in a battle between what she desired and what she thought she
should
do. What other people thought she should do. Her family. Michael. Which had left her in a nowhere place she still hadn’t figured out how to escape from. Not that BDSM was all about escape for her. She was looking for something deeper.

She’d read about subspace, that trancelike state often reached
during bondage or sensation play where a person’s mind could let go, get in touch with his or her deeper self. Perfect, blissful release. She knew it was what she yearned for, that it might help her clarify what she wanted, help her work through some of her old issues, but she hadn’t quite figured out how to do it. Marina said she thought she had an answer.

She had come to trust Marina, even though they’d known each other only a few months. They’d met at Pinnacle, one of the most exclusive BDSM clubs in San Francisco, and Marina had quickly become a mentor and a friend. Now she was introducing Ava to one of her oldest friends from Pinnacle, someone she’d met there and known for a number of years. Marina believed he was one of the best at what they did: Shibari, the ancient and beautiful ritual of Japanese rope bondage.

Ava paused, looking for an empty table. She gave herself a moment to calm down, pulled air into her lungs, held it, blew it out slowly, as she’d been taught to center herself. But her pulse was still humming, her body trembling.

Today, she would meet him.

Would he be her answer? It was hard not to hope.

She didn’t know why this felt so different. She’d been with other dominant men before. But Marina had told her this man was special. And something in Ava’s body, in her very blood, answered to the sound of his name.

Desmond Hale
.

How could she possibly know, even before meeting him, that with him things would be different?

Wishful thinking
.

She hoped it wasn’t anything so mundane.

Making her way between the tables, she found one miraculously empty right by the window. Taking her coat off, she sat down and stared out through the glass. It was the usual gray March day in San Francisco. But she wasn’t looking at the weather. No, she was looking for Marina. And she was looking for him.

Marina had told her about him, but not nearly enough for this sort of utter certainty. She knew he was forty years old, older than she was by eleven years. Knew he was a software designer, had his own company. And more important, she knew Marina was confident that he was the perfect top to give Ava exactly what she needed: absolute release in the Shibari ropes. Her fondest wish. Her deepest unmet need.

She shifted in her chair, adjusted the hem of her dress, tried to smooth down her unruly mop of blond curls, knowing it was a fruitless task.

What would he look like? How would she know him if he arrived before Marina did?

Her gaze went back to the sidewalk outside just as Marina drew the door open. Ava’s heartbeat accelerated as the tall, elegant woman with the gorgeous fall of wavy auburn hair spotted her and made her way to the table.

“Ah, I’m glad you found a place to sit, Ava. No, don’t get up.” Marina pulled her dark trench coat off, hung it over the back of the chair, seated herself, every motion graceful. “Have you been waiting long?”

“Only a few minutes, Marina.”

“You don’t have to be formal with me today, you know.”

“Yes, Marina.”

Marina chuckled. “You want to obey, even when you don’t have to, don’t you?”

“I can’t help it. Especially knowing you’re here to turn me over to someone else. I want …”

“You want what?”

“I want to be good for him,” Ava said quietly, acutely aware of the other patrons around them. She tugged on one curling strand of hair, twisted it around her finger. She always wanted to be good. More than good. It had been ingrained in her since childhood.

“Of course you do.” Marina smiled. “Which is exactly why I’m
sending you to Desmond. I think you’ll please him. And I think he’ll be just what you need. He can give you what I can’t.”

“I’m sorry. I know this is some sort of failing on my part.”

“You have nothing to apologize for; we’ve discussed this already.” Marina leaned toward her, lowered her voice a little, but not enough, Ava thought. “You simply need to be played by a man. You were very good for me. You were good in the ropes, but we both know you weren’t able to sink deep enough. You need that sexual element to take you where you need to go. And you and I, Ava, are both far too heterosexual for that dynamic to work between us.”

“But you play other women all the time.”

“Everyone’s needs are different. Yours run deep. But Desmond will love that about you.” Marina leaned back in her chair, her smoky gray gaze assessing Ava. She smiled. “He’ll love everything about you. You’re perfect for him, really. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner. And he’ll be perfect for you. The only other rope master I trust.”

They paused while Marina ordered their coffees and one for Desmond from the young waitress who stopped at their table. Marina was a natural dominant; people automatically deferred to her. Ava admired that in her, but it was nothing she wanted for herself. She was far too submissive by nature. She’d never wanted it any other way.

Marina was just the opposite. And she was an expert with the ropes, a master, what was called
nawashi
in Shibari rope bondage. But she was right. There was something missing in the energy between them. What it was exactly, Ava didn’t know. How could she? She’d never managed to reach that clear and lovely floating place she imagined deep subspace to be. That place of meditation, freedom. She’d come close several times, but no one yet had been able to take her as deeply as she needed to go. That perfect release lay always just out of her grasp.