Read The Beauty Queen of Jerusalem Online
Authors: Sarit Yishai-Levi
Gabriel opened his eyes and gave her a glazed look. “I'm not feeling well,” he told her. “They can ask for forgiveness without me.”
“Por Dio, Gabriel, you're not getting up for selichot? What will people say?”
All at once he was fully awake. “What do I care what they'll say? I'm telling you I don't feel well, and I'm not going to selichot!”
Rosa went back to her bed. Dio santo, what's happening to my husband? First he doesn't go to the synagogue on Shabbat, now he's not going to selichot. In the end he won't fast on Yom Kippur, God forbid. Nothing is as it once was. This week when she'd asked Gabriel for money to buy meat from the butcher's, he'd told her from now on no more meat, just chicken. Buy meat only for holidays and special events. For months now she had feared the day when Gabriel would tell her that there was no money, and now that day had come. She could feel the memories of the time she was poverty-stricken returning with force, her nightmares threatening to blacken her life. She would often wake up in the night from one recurring dream. In it she was a little girl poking in dumpsters, looking for food, and then the little girl would morph into the old woman she was today, continuing to scavenge in the garbage. She would wake up in a panic and pray, Dio santo, don't take me back there. Don't take me back to where I came from.
One night she woke up from a nightmare and with a heavy heart got out of bed and went into her daughters' room. All three were sleeping soundly. On the cabinet beside Luna's bed she noticed perfume in a crystal bowl. The sight of it made her blood boil. Times are so hard and yet Luna carries on with her luxuries, buys perfume, clothes, shoes. She doesn't even think of putting something aside for the family. All the money she earns at Zacks & Son goes into her own pocket. Once we didn't need it, but now with the situation so bad? What, hasn't the brat got eyes in her head? Can't she see that things aren't what they used to be? She decided she'd swallow her pride and speak to Luna.
The next day she went into the girls' room as Luna was studying herself in the mirror, apparently pleased with her reflection. She was wearing a black suit that set off her hips, silk stockings that accentuated her lovely legs, and the latest fashion in shoes.
“Where are you going?” Rosa asked.
Luna was surprised. Since when had her mother taken an interest in where she was going?
“To meet David,” she replied somewhat apathetically.
“Let him come here. You're not going out.”
“What do you mean, not going out? Since when have you told me what to do?”
“I'm your mother and maybe it's time I did.”
“Don't you think it's a bit late for that? I'm going to be married any minute.”
“So long as you're not married you'll listen to what I have to say to you.”
“And what do you have to say to me, Mother querida?” she asked, drawing the words out mockingly.
With all her might Rosa restrained herself and replied, “Only this week there was shooting in Talpiot and Givat Shaul. It's dangerous to go out at a time like this.”
“David will look after me,” Luna said, attempting to put an end to the conversation.
“You're not going anywhere,” Rosa said and stood in the doorway.
“Oh yes I am!” Luna insisted, trying to push her mother aside.
“You should be ashamed of yourself! A girl about to get married does that to her mother? You should know that there's somebody up above who sees everything, and everything you do to me, your children will do to you with interest!”
“Oh, stop it. Enough of your threats. My children, Mother querida, will love me and I'll love them, unlike you, who's never in all her life loved me!”
“How could I love you when from the day you were born, every time I tried to touch you, your body was all thorns? How could I love you when from the day you learned to talk, every time you spoke to me your words were as sharp as knives?”
“All right, what do you want, Mother?” Luna asked and sat down on the couch. “That all of a sudden we start being friends? It won't happen. It's like you and I aren't mother and daughter. It's as if they swapped me in the hospital.”
“What are you saying? May God forgive you. If you weren't such a big donkey I'd fill your mouth with hot pepper! I raised you, I watered you, I cultivated you, and look at what a prickly bush you've turned out to be!” Rosa said and left the room.
Luna remained on the couch, her eyes filled with tears. Why, God? Why were she and her mother not like all the other mothers and daughters? Why wasn't she like her sisters with her mother, and why was it only she who didn't get along with her? What had gone awry between them and when? Was it when she was still in her mother's womb? Because she couldn't remember one day in her life when they'd gotten along, when they'd exchanged words of affection, when they'd spoken, period. Only shouting, only anger. In God's name, she swore, when I have a daughter, God willing, I'll do everything to bring her close to me. I'll hug her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her, unlike my mother who's never uttered words of love to me in her life, my mother who most of the time gives me that look of hers that says, Get the hell out of my sight!
She hadn't managed to dry her tears when Rosa came back and stood in front of her.
“What now?”
“There's another thing I haven't spoken to you about,” Rosa said. “You have to put some money on the table.”
“What money? What are you talking about?”
“The money you earn. What, can't you see that your father is barely bringing any money home? Are you so busy with yourself that you can't see anybody else? You go on living like a princess when your father stopped being a king a long time ago.”
Luna felt the anger rising in her throat. “Don't you talk about my father like that! My father was born a king and he'll always be a king! Never, do you hear, never say even one bad word about my father!”
“What did I say?” Rosa mumbled, ignoring the insults her daughter had hurled at her. “All I tried to tell you was that your father doesn't have money like he used to.”
“How do you know what my father has or hasn't got? Since when has he told
you
anything? When has he ever spoken to you about the shop? When did he talk to you about how hurt he is that Nona Mercada hasn't set foot in this house since the day she ran away to Tia Allegra in Tel Aviv
because of you
? You, you're good for only one thing for my father, cooking and cleaning. You who used to be a servant in the houses of the English, now you're a servant in the house of Gabriel Ermosa!”
Rosa's hand came up involuntarily and she slapped her daughter's cheek hard. Her hand hurt from the force of the blow, and the sound of the slap resonated in her ears.
Stunned, Luna put a hand to her cheek, and without thinking, started hitting Rosa mercilessly.
“Stop it!” Becky ran into the room and tried to separate her mother and sister. But Luna didn't stop. She grasped Rosa by the hair and pulled it hard, yelling to high heaven as her mother tried to free herself from her grip. But she was holding on tight, and at any moment she'd scalp her completely. Little Becky was between them, crying out, “Stop, stop it, Luna. Stop!” and “Basta, Mother!” until she succumbed to tears.
Becky's weeping eventually separated them. Mother and daughter retreated, each to a different end of the room, leaving Becky sprawled on the floor between them.
“Don't cry, Becky,” Luna said, bending over her sister and forgetting the anger that had engulfed her only moments ago, completely ignoring that, God help them, she had dared to raise a hand to her mother.
Becky shoved her off roughly and yelled, “Don't touch me!”
“Becky, I'm sorry,” Luna said instead of begging her mother for forgiveness. “I didn't mean it. I'm sorry.”
“No, you're not!” Becky shouted. “You're never sorry! You have no respect for anybody, for anything! You're horrible!”
Rosa left the room and took a seat in the yard. Her heart went out to little Becky, but she was hurt and wounded and unable to extend a hand to anyone. God help them, how could it have happened that her daughter, the flesh of her flesh, had raised a hand to her as if she were a woman from the street?
Becky followed her mother outside and sat on her knee. She put her arms around Rosa's neck, and the two of them wept on each other's shoulder.
This was how David found them when he came to pick up Luna. “What happened?” he asked, frightened.
“Ask your fiancée,” Becky said.
When Luna came to the door, David said, “Luna, what happened to Becky and your mother?”
“We had a quarrel,” she said.
“Who, you and your sister?”
“No, me and my mother.”
“You quarreled?” Becky interrupted. “Tell your fiancé the truth. Tell him so he knows who he's marrying!” Becky shouted through her tears.
“What happened?” David asked again as he followed Luna inside.
“Enough, David. Leave me alone.”
“I'm not leaving you alone or anything else! What happened to make your mother and your sister cry?” He looked at Luna, confused and ashamed.
“I'm ready now. Let's go,” Luna said, turning to the door.
“We're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on.”
“What does it matter? We're always fighting. We've been fighting since the day I was born.”
“Apologize to your mother.”
“Never!”
“Luna, she's your mother. Apologize to her.”
“I'm not apologizing to her. She should apologize to me.”
“Luna, we're getting married in a month's time. I don't want a situation, God forbid, where your mother won't come to our wedding.”
“She'll come, don't worry. She won't let people talk.”
“Luna!” he said, raising his voice. “If you don't go back into the yard right now and apologize to your mother, I'll walk through that door and I won't come back.”
“What?” Luna was shocked.
“You heard me. I don't like your behavior. I've never heard of such a thing, a daughter acting like this with her mother! What does it say about you?”
“What does it say about her? She's my mother. She's the one who makes me lose my temper.”
“Go and apologize now.”
“But David⦔
“Now!”
Luna realized that she had no choice. If she didn't want to lose David, she had to swallow her pride and apologize to Rosa. Reluctantly she went back into the yard, and at the sight of Becky and Rosa with their arms around each other, she tried to turn and retrace her steps, but David was blocking the doorway and prodding her. The words stuck in her throat as she went over to Rosa and barely audibly said, “I'm sorry.”
Rosa raised her eyes to her daughter's, but there was no remorse there, only a glassy, remote expression.
“May God forgive you,” she said and turned her back to her.
Luna stood there not knowing what to do next. David came to her aid and said, “Senora Rosa, I don't know what happened, but believe me, Luna is very sorry and I promise you it will never happen again.”
Rosa nodded. “Thank you, David, thank you. Now take your fiancée and go to wherever you're going. It's best that Luna isn't here when her father gets home from the shop.”
Rosa never told Gabriel what happened between her and Luna. Together with all the family she prepared for her eldest daughter's wedding, but she couldn't join in on the great excitement that filled the house. She drew strength from the fact that, gracias el Dio, Luna would soon be gone to her husband's house and she would no longer have grief because of her, just as her neighbor Tamar had told her all those years ago.
But no one in the Ermosa family knew that the wedding Luna was so excited about was built on quicksand. Nobody had any idea about the talk David had had with Moise before the wedding.
“She's not such a paragon of virtue,” David told Moise when they met after the incident between Luna and Rosa. “She has the face of an angel, but if you saw her face when she talks to her mother, I'm not all that sure I'm getting a good deal.”
“Come on, David. There isn't a guy in Jerusalem who doesn't envy you for catching Luna.”
“I'm scared I'm buying a pig in a poke,” David confided. “I thought my problems were solved when I met her, but now I'm not so sure.”
“The fact that she doesn't get along with her mother doesn't mean that she won't with you.”
“She doesn't respect her mother, and I think that's unforgivable.”
“David, stay out of it. You don't know what goes on between mother and daughter. It's none of your business. Your future mother-in-law won't be living with you and Luna, and her relationship with her daughter won't affect yours with Luna.”
“I thought I'd finally met a girl who'd get Isabella out of my mind, but now I just don't know.”
“Maybe she'll get Isabella out of your mind,” Moise said quietly. “But the question is, amigo, whether she'll get Isabella out of your heart.”
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
In the weeks that followed, apart from absolutely necessary communication, Rosa and Luna avoided speaking to each other. If Gabriel suspected that something had happened between his daughter and wife, he gave no hint of it. He was very preoccupied with the shop and the arrangements for Luna's wedding. Becky chose not to tell him about the terrible fight either, and spoke about it only to one person, her boyfriend Handsome Eli Cohen.
“If I hadn't gotten there in time they would have killed each other,” she told him, and he'd advised her not to interfere, and more important, not to tell her father. She didn't speak again to Luna about what had happened, and Rachelika, who was deeply immersed in her new romance with Moise, hadn't even noticed the rising tension and distance between her mother and older sister. After all, Luna and Rosa had never been close.