The Becoming: Revelations (38 page)

“There’s nothing I can do to stop it, Remy,” Ethan said placidly.

Remy leaned down, resting her hands against the chair’s armrests and digging her nails into the fabric. She leaned closer, getting almost in his face, and said, quietly but firmly, “You can fucking
fight it
. Because I can’t take losing yet another person I love. I’d feed myself to a crowd of infected before I let that happen.”

That was enough to garner a reaction from Ethan. His facial expression didn’t change, but a wave of sadness flooded his eyes as he stared up at her. “Gray’s death must have really fucked you up, huh?”

“Irreparably,” Remy said without hesitation. “Fucking breaking point. I can’t take any more.”

Ethan sighed and slowly, deliberately set the locket on the table beside him. His hands found Remy’s wrists, and before she could utter a sound of protest, he tugged her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Remy,” he said quietly. She closed her eyes as the words met her ears. “I just want to prepare you for what I see as the inevitable. I didn’t intend to upset you or set you off. I just … I can’t keep taking these medications forever. And I don’t know what’s going to happen when I can’t use them anymore.”

“Well, you won’t hit that point if I have anything to say about it,” Remy said stubbornly. “Because that doctor guy out there—”

“Derek,” Ethan interrupted.

“Yeah, whatever,” Remy said flippantly. “He’s going to come up with a cure for that virus, and he’s going to be world famous and save us all. And then you’ll be healthy and get to help start the world over. And then maybe I can kiss you again and not have to worry about getting infected in the process.”

“Oh, so
that’s
your ultimate goal, huh?” Ethan said in a soft, teasing voice. Remy rolled her eyes and jabbed him in the ribs.

“Not just
that,
” she protested. “I have other goals too, you know.”

“And those would be?”

“Absolutely none of your business.” Remy smirked and added, “Yet.” She started to slide off Ethan’s lap, but he hooked his arm around her waist, locking her into place.

“Tell me,” he demanded, looking at her with deviousness in his eyes.

“Hey, what was that you said to me on the roof?” Remy asked, smirking with mock thoughtfulness. “Oh yes, I remember. A girl’s gotta have
some
secrets.”

Ethan laughed. “Oh come on, that’s just plain mean,” he protested. “There should be a law against a woman using a man’s own words against him.”

Remy’s smirk widened into a grin, but before she could respond, there was a soft knock at the door. She stiffened, and almost at the same instant, Ethan’s wristwatch let out a chirp. He sighed and rolled his eyes, dropping his head back against the chair. “What? What is it?” she asked as the person at the door knocked again.

“That’s probably Dr. Rivers,” Ethan said. He glanced at his watch and jabbed at it to turn the alarm off. “It’s about time for my meds and to get my bandages changed and shit.” He tapped her lightly on the thigh, indicating that she should get up. Remy sighed and slid off his lap, dragging herself to the end of the bed and slumping onto it again. She retrieved her bolo knife from the floor and dusted it off with the discarded t-shirt again as Ethan stood. He ran a hand over her hair as he passed on the way to the door, and she couldn’t help the smile that ghosted across her lips.

“Ethan,” Remy spoke up. Ethan turned to look at her, a note of curiosity in his eyes. She suddenly felt shy as her eyes met his, and she resisted the urge to duck her head and break their gazes. “Do you … I mean, can I stay here? Do you mind if I stay?”

Ethan hesitated and glanced to the door as another knock echoed through the room. Then a slow smile spread across his lips, and he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, sure. You can stay.”

The soft beep of his watch right next to his ear woke Brandt from his deep sleep. He lifted his head from his pillow and jabbed at the button on the side of the watch, silencing the alarm before squinting blearily at the watch face. It was mid-evening, he discovered, not much longer before he, Cade, Ethan, and Remy were to set out on their own branch of the mission while the others attended to theirs. He and Cade had managed to sleep the remainder of the afternoon away.

Brandt eased onto his back slowly so he wouldn’t wake Cade, and he looked at the woman in the dim light filtering in through the windows. She lay on her right side, her back to him, still deep in sleep. Brandt brushed his fingers down her spine, trailing them over her skin until the sheet would allow him to go no farther, as he thought over the words she’d said just a couple of hours before.

“
I lied.
”

Two of the sweetest words he’d ever heard.

Cade’s back looked so naked without the long curtain of hair she’d always had hanging over it. He’d never get used to the short hair. He hoped it really was a matter of practicality and safety and that she’d been serious when she said she would grow it back out. Cade shifted in her sleep as his fingers left her skin, but she didn’t wake up.
Good,
he thought. He shifted closer to her and pressed a light kiss to her bare upper arm.
Let her rest while she can.

A soft knock on the hotel room’s door drew Brandt’s attention away from the woman before him. He sighed and rolled his eyes, debating simply ignoring whoever was at the door, before he gave up and slid out of bed. He sorted through the scattered clothes on the floor before finding his boxers and jeans; after pulling them both on, he forced himself to the hotel suite’s main door.

Brandt was only mildly surprised to discover Ethan standing on the other side. The expression on his face proclaimed the man ready to set out for battle—far more ready than either Brandt or Cade was. He looked Brandt up and down with a quick scan of his green eyes before asking, “Uh, you guys ready to go?”

Brandt simply raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself pointedly. He was shirtless and shoeless and, for that matter, weaponless.

“Stupid question,” Ethan acknowledged. “Mind if I come in?”

Brandt stared at him and considered his request. He thought of Cade back in the bedroom, asleep and similarly unclothed, and his own desire to crawl back into bed with her, and almost told Ethan no. He caved, though, indicating with a slight swing of his head to the kitchenette behind him that the man could enter. Ethan slipped past Brandt and stepped inside, looking around the suite curiously as Brandt shut the door.

“Where’s Cade?” Ethan asked as soon as the door clicked shut.

“Still asleep. Keep your voice down,” Brandt said, his own voice still hoarse with sleep. He sat down heavily in one of the kitchenette’s chairs, rubbing both hands over his face in a vain effort to wake up. “Got anything to eat? I’m starving.”

Ethan set his backpack on the table and dug through it, pulling four protein bars free and sliding them across the table to Brandt. He froze as his eyes landed on Cade’s braid, still lying on the table. He picked it up. “Is this …?”

“Cade’s hair?” Brandt finished for him. “Yeah, it is.”

“Geez, she cut it off?” Ethan sounded incredulous. “That’s … wow. I’ve never seen her with short hair. How does she look?”

“A little weird,” Brandt admitted. He set two of the protein bars aside for Cade before tearing into a third. “But I think that’s because I’m just not used to it.”

“I can imagine.” Ethan watched Brandt eat for a moment before speaking again. “How are you feeling?”

“About what?” Brandt asked. He pushed his hair back from his eyes as he looked up at Ethan.

“I mean your health,” Ethan clarified. “In general. How do you feel?” He hesitated and then asked, “What does it feel like for you?”

It took Brandt a moment to realize what Ethan meant. “I barely notice it,” he admitted. “It’s like it’s not even there for me.”

“Lucky,” Ethan muttered. He stared at the table, shifting his pack to the floor beside his chair, before adding, “I feel it all the time. Like it’s lurking there, waiting for me to drop my guard so it can pounce. I lose my temper so easily now. And I can’t remember shit like I used to.” He blew out a soft breath. “I can’t even remember exactly how I met Nikola or how Theo died. I mean, I remember I met Nikola in Memphis, but I don’t remember
how
. And I know Theo’s death had something to do with Cade, but I can’t remember …” He trailed off and looked away.

Brandt nodded. “Yeah, Derek told me about that. About how you couldn’t remember where we were going after Atlanta.” He paused and studied the protein bar’s wrapper, crinkling the cellophane between his fingers. “You know, you not being able to remember probably saved Cade’s life.”

“How so?” Ethan asked curiously.

“Well, if you’d told Alicia where we were at the earliest opportune moment, and if she’d come after us then, Cade wouldn’t have survived, not with that hole in her side. She came … pretty close. Pretty
damn
close. If Alicia had come along when Cade was like that, if she’d dragged Cade to Atlanta when she was still sick from her infection, I don’t think Cade would have made the entire trip alive.”

“Jesus, I hadn’t thought of that,” Ethan admitted. “I was so desperate to find you guys and link up again that I didn’t even consider …”

“It’s okay,” Brandt said. “You didn’t know about Alicia or what she wanted to do. That’s not your fault.” The sound of footsteps in the bedroom met his ears, and Brandt squinted to the door before rising from his chair. “I’ll be right back,” he said to Ethan before retreating to the bedroom.

When Brandt stepped into the bedroom, he found Cade sitting on the edge of the bed as she dressed. Her movements were sluggish with exhaustion. She looked up as he entered the room, and a tired but beautiful smile spread across her face. “Hey,” she greeted him. She tugged her customary tank top over her head.

Brandt grinned and sat down beside her, pulling her close and stealing another kiss. “Ethan’s here,” he told her. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept all right,” Cade said. “I kept waking up. Anticipation and all that. Ready to get this shit over with.” She ruffled her hand through her shorn hair, emphasizing the bedhead that was already there, and looked startled when her hair came up shorter than she was accustomed to. She laughed ruefully. “I really need to get used to that,” she said. She retrieved her socks and boots and started to put them on. Brandt watched as she zipped the knee-high boots, covering her calves with the tough leather, before he spoke up.

“We leave in about forty-five minutes, when it starts to get dark,” he said. They’d decided on that tactic earlier that afternoon, when they’d discussed the merits of going in at dusk or during the bright daylight. Though the idea of stomping around in the dark didn’t appeal to Brandt, he could see the logic in it—while it would make it difficult for them to see the infected, it would make it equally difficult for the infected or anyone inside the Westin to see
them
. “Are you ready for this?”

“Brandt, I was
born
ready,” Cade said confidently. She rose from the bed gracefully, and Brandt’s eyes followed her as she picked up her Kevlar vest and strapped it on, following with her belt, holsters, and sheaths. She methodically checked her weapons as she fastened and belted them to her person. She looked like she was getting ready to go to war. In a way, she was.

It wasn’t long before they joined Ethan in the kitchen, Brandt finally fully dressed, his own weapons strapped on. Cade made a beeline for Ethan and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, kissing his forehead lightly. “You ready?” she asked simply.

“As ever,” Ethan replied. He poked her in the side of the neck with a smirk. “Nice hickey.”

Cade swatted at Ethan’s hand and gave him a
look,
even as her cheeks colored a red that somehow emphasized her beauty. “Shut up, you,” she said as she let go of him.

Ethan smirked wider. “Remy and I hammered out the gist of a plan for
us
in the Westin. Nothing complex.” The four of them had already delineated tasks once they were inside the Westin; Ethan and Remy would be going after the seventeenth floor, where the children were, to see what they could find, while Cade and Brandt tried to track down Alicia. “Seems like shit changes in this city on the drop of a dime.”

“That it does,” Cade agreed. She flopped into a chair, and Brandt slid over the two protein bars he’d saved for her. She attacked them vigorously as she continued. “Brandt and I have a plan too, though most of it involves just winging it until we get into the Westin itself.”

“Only you two could fail to come up with a firm plan and still manage to pull out of everything alive,” Ethan half-joked. Cade grinned, and even Brandt managed to crack a smile, despite the pre-mission jitters beginning to roll through his stomach.

Among this group, this was the first major expedition Brandt was leading since the near-disaster of Remy’s rescue the year before. The guilt of nearly getting Cade killed during that attempt still weighed heavily on his conscience, though he knew she no longer held it against him—if she ever truly had in the first place. What would happen if he turned
this
trip into an unmitigated catastrophe? What would happen if he got Cade killed, if he failed to find Alicia?