The Before (8 page)

It made sense. If Mel was freaking out now, while things were bad but we were still at home, then how much worse would she be when we were off on our own, at the Farm facility?

Joe looked nervous. “I do have some stuff, but I can’t tell you about dosing. I mean, normally I don’t worry about that kind of thing, ’cause with most people I figure they know what they’re getting into. But with Mel . . .”

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “We’ll be careful.”

“You should really just refill her scrip.”

“There’s no time. We’re scheduled to report to the transportation hub tomorrow morning.”

“Wow. That’s . . . really soon.”

“Is it?” I’d had the same thought myself and still didn’t like hearing it aloud. “I was hoping they were just working their way through the school rooster.”

“No. I’ve only heard of a couple of people other than you and Mel. McKenna Wells, people like that.”

I made a little sound of disgust. McKenna was rich and beautiful and a cheerleader, all of which I could have forgiven if she’d used her powers for good, not evil. But, really, she was the resident mean girl. Typical. If the apocalypse happens, of course the cockroaches survive.

“You haven’t been called up?”

Joe gave a bark of laughter. “Me? You kidding? I’m going to be, like, last on their list.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Come on, there’s got to be like a million kids in Dallas, right?”

I had no idea, but that seemed like a good guess, so I nodded.

“No way they have spots for everyone. They can’t protect that many kids. They’re not going to be able to get everyone into a Farm. Certainly not before those things make it all the way up here.”

A lump of dread expanded in my chest. I hadn’t thought about it like that. I’d been fighting this so hard I hadn’t considered that being shipped off to a Farm might be a good idea. That not going to the Farm might be dangerous.

“Do you really think they’re prioritizing like that?”

“Wouldn’t you? If you can’t protect everyone, who are you going to protect? Kids like you? The perfect kids, who are smart and follow the rules? Kids who are gonna grow up to be like the future leaders of America? Or guys like me?”

Joe’s cool fatalism sent a shiver down my spine. How could he be so matter-of-fact about his fate? And so certain that going to a Farm was a good thing?

Of course, I’d seen his dad asleep out on the sofa. I’d seen the occasional bruise on Joe’s cheek. Who knew what else went on here that I didn’t know about? Maybe anywhere was better than here.

But if his theory was true, then why had they called in Mel? I hated to think it, but Mel was no one’s ideal kid. No one’s vision of the future leader of America. McKenna? Sure, I saw that. I didn’t like her, but she had that right mix of popular and smart that looked good on a college application. She already had early admittance to a couple of schools. She was totally who Joe had described.

I stepped closer and whispered, even though Mel could still hear me and she didn’t seem to be listening anyway. “That’s the thing,” I told him. “I don’t think we got on the list because of grades or whatever.”

I quickly told him about the cop who’d been out on the street and how he seemed to have it out for me.

“So maybe it’s not about good behavior, but about bad behavior.”

“Does it matter?” Joe asked. “If it keeps you safe?”

I frowned, but had no answer for Joe.

“So you will sell me the Valium?” I asked, changing the subject, but I didn’t like the idea that I’d gotten Mel and me sent away any more than I liked the idea that Joe might be left out here to fend for himself.

Joe looked at the bottle of blue pills and thrust it at me. “Nah, just take it. It’s not like I’m doing a booming business here.”

I tucked the pills in my shorts pocket, then thought better of it and moved them to my bra, wedging them well under my boob so anyone who stopped me would have to get personal before he found them. “Thanks!”

“You know you probably won’t get to keep them anyway. The website says you can only bring in medication you have a scrip for. And even then it has to be cleared by the facility’s medical team.”

I considered that for a second. “Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll figure something out.”

You didn’t sit across the table at holidays from a paranoid conspiracy theorist for seventeen years without picking up a thing or two about how to smuggle things through security.

“Mel, it’s time to go.”

Now that we had the pills, she fell right in line by my side.

Joe cocked his head toward the window. “How you going to get back to your house? Won’t the crazy cop be watching it?”

“Probably. I guess I’ll just have to bluff.”

“You better go out the back and go through the yards until you can cross over at the creek. I’ll go out the front at the same time and . . . I don’t know, walk the dog or something. That way, if a cop is patrolling the neighborhood, he’ll stop me instead of seeing you.”

“No way, Joe. I’m not asking you to do that. The pills are enough!”

He just shrugged. “What’s the worst that can happen? If you’re right about that cop flagging your name and getting you sent off to the Farm, that’s not a bad gig.” He pushed me toward the door. “Now go. I’ll give you a ten-minute head start.”

What he didn’t give me was a chance to argue. A moment later Mel and I were back out into the night. I could only hope that I was right about the cop putting me on the list. And that Joe knew what he was getting into.

If Mel and I had to end up at a Farm—no matter how temporarily—then it might be nice to have someone I trusted there with us. Despite some questionable activities, Joe was obviously still a stand-up guy. There was way more to him than I’d thought. I would have to be better about that in the future. If I was going to take care of Mel and myself—if I was going to keep us both alive—then I couldn’t underestimate people, certainly not someone who might be the only ally we had.

Chapter Twelve

Lily

Mom was frantic by the time we finally made it back. I was beat up and bruised. My ankle was swelling so that every step was painful. Only Mel was calm. Of course it helped that Mel had taken one of the Valiums before we even left Joe’s backyard. I couldn’t get her over the fence without it.

When we snuck in the back door, Mom ignored Mel’s yelp of protest and hugged her tight. Like Mel was a wayward child, she stroked her hair and looked her over. You would have thought Mel was returning from war.

“Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Did anyone see you?”

“She’s fine,” I said, limping past Mom and Mel to the chairs around the kitchen table. “We made it back.”

Mom glared at me over Mel’s head. “Did anyone see you? Did that cop give you a hard time? Did—”

“No. It was all okay.”

Mel squirmed out of Mom’s arms and came to sit near me, a look of concern on her face.

Mom breathed out. It was a sound of exasperation as well as fear and maybe grief.

“Tomorrow after I drop you off—” Mom crossed to my spot also and knelt down before me. “Once you’re at the Farm facility, I’m not going to be there to protect you. Either one of you.”

“I know.” A month ago, I would have told her that I didn’t need anyone’s protection, but now? Now I was just scared. And worried. It made my words harsh. “Yeah. I get it. We’re going to be on our own.”

“No, you don’t get it!” Mom pushed herself to her feet. “Once you’re there, you’ll have to watch her all the time.”

“I will—”

“You don’t let her out of your sight. Not for a minute. Because this can’t happen once you get there.”

“Why are you telling this to me? Why aren’t you lecturing her about this? She’s the one who wandered off!”

Mom blinked in surprise, as if that hadn’t even occurred to her, and then she gave her head a shake as her gaze turned steely. “Because you have to be the one in charge. Because you have to keep it together and take care of both of you!”

I leapt to my feet. “You’re not being fair! Not to either of us!”

I didn’t really know why I was arguing. Of course I was going to take care of Mel. Of course I was going to do whatever I needed to to keep her safe. She was my sister. My twin. My other half. But I sure as hell didn’t need Mom lecturing me about it.

“Not fair?” Mom demanded. “You’re not a child anymore. Don’t complain to me about what is or isn’t fair.”

“I’m not a child, but she isn’t either.” We both turned to look at Mel then. She was rocking frantically back and forth, humming nonsense as she bumped her Slinky from one hand to the next.

Okay. So she wasn’t exactly making my case for me.

“She didn’t wander off for no reason,” I told Mom. “She didn’t just freak out and bolt. Not like last time.”

“Then why—”

“She went over to Joe’s. Do you remember Joe Mateo from elementary school?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Back in middle school, Joe started selling drugs. Mostly pot, I think, but—”

“You can’t be serious!”

“No, of course she didn’t go there for pot. Jeesh. I said mostly pot. He also sells prescription meds. Xanax and stuff like that. But Mel went to him for Valium.”

“For what?”

“Valium.” I reminded her about the doctor and Mel’s reaction to the drugs. I tried to tell Mel’s side of the story. Or what I imagined Mel’s side might be. And I wished desperately that she would . . . stop freaking out and back me up here. A month ago, she could have told Mom all of this herself.

As I spoke, Mel calmed down. Her rocking slowed and her Slinky stilled, but never once did she jump in and tell Mom I was right.

“Think about it, Mom. She knew what was going to happen. She made a decision for herself. She went out and got something that would help her. That’s a good thing.”

Mom considered, but not for long. “It’s an incredibly reckless thing. She didn’t talk to anyone. She didn’t try to explain. She just went.” Mom turned to Mel. “That’s not okay, honey. Even if you were right this time, it’s not okay. You have to listen to Lily. When I’m not there, you have to—”

I interrupted Mom. “I am not her mother and I’m not going to act like it. If you have a problem with that, then don’t drop us off at that transportation hub tomorrow.”

Mom sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “We’ve been over this! I have to bring you. Your lives are in danger out here. Even if it wasn’t for the Ticks, have you seen the way people are acting? It isn’t safe anymore. And I need you to be logical about this!”

But I didn’t see any logic in this. Going to a Farm might be great for someone like Joe who didn’t have any other options, but we did. I couldn’t understand why my mother, who had fought against injustice her entire life, was just handing us over to the government.

I stood and hobbled out of the room. “I’m going to bed. After all, tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

Chapter Thirteen

Lily

The next morning, I woke up to the feel of my mother patting my back, the way she used to wake me up for elementary school. The sheets were cozy, her hand comforting. For one brief instant I felt warm and surrounded by love. Reality shattered that illusion all too quickly.

My eyes popped open. Mom frowned as she looked down at me. Concern had carved years off her face.

“It’s time,” she said simply.

I looked out my window. “It’s still dark.”

In the summer, the sun came up pretty early. It couldn’t be much later than six, hours still before curfew lifted at eight.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About at least trying to make a break for it.”

I pushed myself up. “Yes?”

But she shook her head. “I hate the thought of you going off to the Farm with this idea in your head that I didn’t do everything I could to keep you safe.”

“Then let’s at least try to get out of here! Uncle Rodney’s isn’t that far away.”

“I just don’t see how it could work. There will be cops out everywhere.” She clutched at my hand. “Think about what has already happened. With the cop and with Mel bolting. I just . . .” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you or Mel.”

She looked so afraid. So unsure of herself.

These past few days, she hardly seemed like my mother. It was like she had no control over  herself at all. Like her emotions weren’t even her own. Like she just wanted someone else to tell her what to do.

I wrapped my arms around her. “Don’t you think we have to at least try?”

I felt her nod against my chest and I took that for a yes. A terrified, fearful yes, but still a yes.

That was good enough for me. The cops couldn’t be watching everywhere. There were a lot of roads in Texas. They couldn’t all be blocked. I knew we could make it out of the state one way or another.

I was wrong.