The Beginning of Us (185 page)

I pull him across the room to sit on the bed. My insides are trembling with nervousness over what I’m about to say and over what I know I’m finally going to let happen. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his feet touching the floor. I straddle his lap so my legs are wrapped around him and so I can look at his cool cerulean pools of love when I speak. I cup my hand around his cheek tenderly and take a deep breath, bracing for the words that are about to come out.

“Reid, I love you.” I pause to register the shock in his eyes, but there is none. He just smiles adoringly at me and traces slow, soft patterns across my back. There’s silence for a moment, and I need to fill it. “I know that you might feel like it’s too soon, and I know we each have our own boatload of issues, but I can’t help how I feel. You’re amazing, and you’ve broken through every barrier I’ve ever put in place to keep people out. There’s no one I want more than you, and I know that we’ll be able to overcome whatever is thrown at us. I feel that strongly about us. It’s scary, terrifying, actually, but I just needed you to know that I love you. I love you so, so much.” I say all of this so quickly that I need to inhale deeply just to get some air back into my lungs.

His lips tip up into a devilishly beautiful smile, and he says, “Are you done? Can I have my turn?”

I nod and say “uh-huh” in return. Normal language function has completely left my brain.

“Madeleine, I love you, too.” I move to say something, but he silences me with a kiss. “No, you got your turn -- now it’s mine.” He kisses me again before saying the rest. “I love you more than anything. I would move heaven and earth to make you realize how much I love you. And I don’t want you to think I’m saying this just because you’ve said it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, and yeah, I’ve got some fucked-up shit in my head, the same shit that made me build those sky-high walls in the first place, but around you, they just vanish. That’s why I did all of this up here tonight. I wanted to create a beautiful memory of the first time I told you that I loved you. When we do decide to take things to the next level physically, I wanted the bed to be ours and ours alone. I wanted it to just be me and you in there – no other memories except this one right now, of you glowing beautifully by the candlelight, sitting in my arms, listening to me carry on and on about how much I love you.” He kisses me on the tip of my nose and brushes the pads of his thumbs under my eyes, where a few stray tears have fallen.

His confession of love ignites a fire low in my belly. If I thought I wanted him before, I was sadly mistaken. I reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head, our eyes only breaking contact when the fabric brushes over his head. I push him back onto the bed so he’s lying down and I’m still straddled on top of him. His hands are at my waist, but they’re so big that they nearly span it entirely. He moves them down a little to where my hips flow into the upper swell of my ass, and he squeezes gently. His thumbs begin tracing sensual circles dangerously close to my core. 

I lean down and kiss his chest. It’s broad and muscled, yet warm and soft to the touch. The sprinkling of chest hair tickles my face. I kiss over his heart and say “I love you” before descending to follow the thin line of hair that disappears behind the snap of his jeans. Before I can unbutton his pants and have my way with him, he’s got both of my wrists in one of his hands and he’s sitting up with me still on his lap.

“No, Maddy. Let me love you. Please.”

My mouth goes dry, and my insides clench deliciously at the thought of what he wants to do to me. I nod, almost imperceptibly, but he sees it. He reaches for the hem of my shirt and relieves me of its weighty presence. His pupils dilate when he sees my pink lacy bra. It’s nearly see-through and my nipples pressing against the fabric leave little to the imagination.

He goes to unsnap it. I beat him to it and grab for the hooks behind my back, undoing each of them slowly, seductively. My breasts fall free from their cups and I toss my bra on the floor where our other clothes lie. He doesn’t reach for me like he usually does – we’ve gone this far before. No, instead of touching me, he just stares. He stares so long that goosebumps start to pimple my flesh, and my nipples harden even more under his lust-filled gaze.

“Beautiful. You are so damned beautiful, Maddy.”

He wraps his arms around my waist and swiftly changes our position so I’m beneath him. He’s supporting his weight on his arms, and he’s half lying on top of me. He begins kissing my neck, and I groan in appreciation of his sensual assault. His tongue is hot against my skin, and my breasts are begging for his touch. He begins tracing his fingers across my chest, but he doesn’t touch my now painfully aroused tips. Shifting so he is completely on top of me, he lowers his mouth to my left breast, but he doesn’t do more than breathe a hot, steamy breath on it, making it more erect than I thought possible.

He kisses every part of my breast, every part except where I want him the most. Moving across to the other one, he continues his torture, and I’m nearly squirming with need under him.

“Please, Reid. Oh, God, please.”

“What, baby? Tell me what you want. I want to give you everything you want.” His eyes are hooded and sexy as fuck.

“I want you, Reid. I want you now. Please.” My voice is no more than a breathless, lusty whisper.

He obeys my command and pulls a nipple into his mouth, and I feel my insides spasm at the feel of his hot, wet tongue gliding across my chest to the other nipple. He pulls the pink tip deep into his mouth and grazes it gently with his teeth. I arch my back off the bed and moan in ecstasy. He does it again and again and again until I can’t take it anymore. I’m right on the sharp edge of my control; one more flick of his tongue anywhere on my body, and I’ll fall into the abyss of pleasure that his mouth promises.

He must sense how close I am, because he pulls back and searches my eyes, looking for permission to go further. He sees submission in my eyes, so he bends down to kiss a path from between my breasts down to my stomach. When he dips his tongue into my belly button, I call out his name. “Reid…please…more…I need more of you…please.”

He doesn’t respond; he just continues kissing me everywhere. He moves to unbutton my jeans, and I lift my hips to help him as he pulls them off. He adds them to the ever-growing pile on the floor. He stares down again at me, but this time I feel self-conscious. We’ve never gone this far; I’ve never been this exposed.

He must see my inner turmoil, because he says, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen before, Maddy. I want you more than you know, but if you’re not ready, then that’s fine, too. I just want to let you feel how much I love you. I want you to feel as amazing as you make me feel every single day.” His words soothe my nervousness, and suddenly I no longer feel concerned about my nudity.

He leaves my lacy pink thong on as he kisses a path down each of my legs. When he returns to my center, I am burning with need. He licks over my hot core through the fabric of my panties, and I gush with even more wet heat.

Inhaling deeply, he says, “You smell fucking amazing, Maddy. You are so sweet. I can’t wait to lick every inch of you.”

All ability to say or do anything is gone, and I am at his mercy. He hooks his thumbs into my panties and pulls them slowly down my legs. “Open for me. Let me love you, sweet Maddy.”

I let my knees fall to my sides and eagerly await the pleasure that I know his mouth will bring me.

With simply one broad stroke of the flat of his tongue across my molten core, he brings me right back to that razor edge of pleasure. When he swirls his tongue around my pulsing clit, I can’t hold back the scream on my lips.

“Reid…so…close… please…”

But in that moment I’m not sure what I’m asking for. To stop? To keep going? I’m totally incoherent. He stops with his tongue and slowly slides a finger inside me.

“Oh, my fucking god, Maddy. You’re drenched.” His voice is full of awe, and when he removes his finger, I whimper. My emptiness doesn’t last long, because he swiftly continues by adding a second finger. When he finds the soft patch of flesh in my trembling sex, he moves his fingers over it relentlessly. His tongue returns to my clit in a soft, delicate figure-eight pattern.

That edge is right there within my reach, and he doesn’t stop this time. He laves and flicks my clit with his magical tongue and massages my inner walls with his large callused fingers until I’m coming loudly against his lips. My body is no more than a pool of liquid desire for him. If it’s possible, I want him more now than I did before.

He moves up my body and kisses me. I taste myself on his tongue, and it is by far the most erotic thing I have ever experienced.

“Tell me to stop, Maddy, and I will. Tell me that’s all you want tonight, and it will be fine. We’ll go to sleep now.”

“I know you’re just saying those things to try to ease my fears, and I love you so much for even thinking them, but I’m ready, Reid. I love you, and I want to be with you. It’s just that simple.” I kiss him deeply so he can feel my words to his core.

“God, Maddy, I have wanted to make love to you for so long. You’re making my dreams come true.”

I know we’re being all serious right now, but I can’t help but say, “You’re just glad you won’t need cold showers anymore.”

He chuckles lightly, but immediately resumes his serious tone. “I’d take three cold showers a day, if you weren’t ready. Hell, there were some days I
did
take three.”

We share a sweet laugh, and then the silence stretches. I’m lying naked in his arms, sated and hungry at the same time. He looks at me with the same ravenous gaze.

I kiss him hard before I say, “I’m yours, Reid. I don’t want to wait any longer. Take me, please.”

Whatever thread of self-control he had remaining is cut in that instant. He crushes me with his weight, and his tongue plunders my mouth. His hands are everywhere, fueling the fire burning in my core.

I fumble for the button on his jeans, but my fingers are jittering with nervousness. He stills them and helps me with the snap.

I trace over his bulging erection and gulp at the feel of him in my palm. “Now it’s my turn. Let me love you, Reid, please. Will you let me do that?”

He cocks his eyebrows and shoots me a “like you even have to ask” look. I take that as my cue and shift so that I’m above him.

I pull his jeans down, and he lifts his hips, as I did mine earlier. One more item joins the others on the floor, but my attention is drawn to the only item of clothing remaining between us – his heather-gray, skintight, signature sexy-as-sin boxer briefs. He is straining against the waistband, almost peeking out of it. I kiss him softly over the fabric.

“Fuck, Maddy,” he hisses at the feel of my tongue gliding up his length. “You’re going to kill me, you know that, right?”

“Not yet. I haven’t even tasted you yet.”

I pull his boxers off and let him spring free. The pile is now complete, and we are fully bared to one another. He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen with clothes on, but naked like this, at the mercy of my desires, he is utterly gorgeous. Every single inch of him is perfect. I trace over his length with my fingertips – some cheesy line about steel encased in velvet from some Harlequin romance dances in my head. Yet he is – both hard and soft at the same time. His skin is aflame under my fingers, and I lean my head down to lick at the tip. 

He pulls my hair out of the way. “I want to see you, Maddy. I want to see myself disappear into your mouth.” I take the first few inches in, and he bucks his hips and arches his back. “Oh….God… Maddy…” His words are a long, garbled moan.

I’ve never done this before, so it’s good to know that he’s enjoying it. Encouraged, I take more of him into my mouth, relaxing my throat as I do so. He wraps my other hand around what I can’t fit in and works it up and down. We keep at that pace for long, heated moments before he pulls out of my mouth. A loud audible pop echoes in the room. Shit, I’ve done something wrong. I hurt him, or it doesn’t feel good anymore. He must see my emotions, because he’s sitting up next to me in an instant.

His hands are in my hair, smoothing it back out of my face. He wipes his thumb across my swollen bottom lip and pulls it out from between my teeth, where I’m worrying the hell out of it. “Before you even think for another minute that you did something wrong, stop it now. That was fucking perfect, Maddy --
you’re
fucking perfect. In fact, another second of that, and I would have lost it.  Okay?” His voice washes over me and reassures me that I did nothing wrong.

“Okay. I believe you.” There’s a part of me that doesn’t believe him, that feels like I might be doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong words, acting the wrong way. It’s all so new to me, and I’m just letting my need for him take over.

“Good, sweet Maddy.” He pulls me down with him so that he’s lying partially on top of me again. I feel him reaching over to his nightstand for what I assume is a condom. I grab his hand and stop his blind, one-handed search.

“It’s okay, Reid.”

His brows knit together tightly in thorough confusion.

“What do you mean, ‘it’s okay,’ Maddy? I don’t understand.” The moment has turned awkward, but I guess that’s to be expected.

“I’m on the pill. I knew it would be you, that it was only just a matter of time. So, what I’m saying is that, if you’re okay with nothing between us, then there’s no need for that.” I indicate the condom with my eyes.