The Beginning of Us (230 page)

      The only thing that saved me was my best friend Courtney. We spent every waking moment together before I decided to choose a college outside of Oklahoma. I wanted as far away from my mother as possible.

It was hard at first.

Actually, it’s still hard.

My thoughts drift from my parents to Jax.

*****

I’d met him my sophomore year in college, but we didn’t start dating until my senior year. After seeing my parents’ marriage fail, and watching all the other marriages my mother had fell apart, I didn’t feel like I was ready. Why would I want to put myself through all of that? I didn’t need anyone, and I would have rather been alone than go through different men. But from the first time we’d met at a coffee shop, to him constantly asking me out until I finally said yes, he’d never given up on me. We’d become best friends before we’d become a couple. I thought that was the right way to start out. Now, I’m not so sure.

I try to hate him for what he did to me. But I can’t. Maybe it was me. What if I wasn’t able to love him enough like you’re supposed to? The one question I can’t stop asking is why didn’t he just break up with me before he slept with her, rather than have someone on the side? And for that matter, how many have there been? But the thing is, I knew that there was someone else. I just didn’t want to acknowledge the thought that he could treat me like I was nothing to him.

Now I ask myself the most important question…

Why didn’t I leave him when I thought there was another woman? There had been plenty of signs with the lack of sex and the way he ignored me while he was at home. How he would get all defensive when I would ask where he was going or what he was doing? I could ask myself a million questions, but it wouldn’t matter what answers I had. The bottom line was that he cheated and because of that, I left.

I still haven’t cried. I just feel like the tears would be wasted. I guess that could be my first clue to how I feel about him. I don’t know if my mind is in shock or maybe in overload. I’m such an idiot.

This evening I’d sat in the living room with Micah and Holly, and true to her word, we all sat in silence. I felt so bad for ruining their evening and told them to go on out, but Micah refused.

I do know one thing. I came to this town for me. Not Jax. And I have found the two best friends that a girl could ask for.

With a sigh, I roll over and close my eyes, I need to start looking for a house in St. Louis tomorrow. This town has become my home, and I’m not leaving it.

*****

I wake up, having gotten little rest, but on a mission. I get out of bed and walk out of the bedroom. Once in the hallway, I can hear voices coming from the kitchen.

“We need to help her,” I hear Holly say.

“I plan on it. You think I would let her go back over there to get her stuff alone?” Micah sounds insulted.

I don’t feel right eavesdropping, so I clear my throat and walk in the kitchen. They both turn to look at me as I give them a small smile. “I heard you guys talking about helping me. You don’t have to go. I can do it on my own.” I don’t want to put them in the middle of this.

“Are you crazy? Of course we are going to help you.” Micah gives me a look like I’ve lost my mind, then starts pouring everyone coffee in travel mugs.

“What about work? Don’t you have to work today?” I take a sip of my coffee.

“I took off half a day. I’ll go in later.” He grabs his keys off the counter and walks to the front door.

We leave their house heading towards my old place. My heart is racing; I don’t want to see Jax. I’ve been telling myself this happened for a reason, but what if it’s too hard to move out all of my stuff? What if he begs me to stay? Worse, what if she is there and all my stuff is on the front porch?

My mind is asking itself so many questions that the entire car ride to Jax’s is silent. Micah is in front of us in his new, white Ford pickup truck, and Holly and I are following him in my car. I only want my clothes, shoes and personal stuff. Everything else he can do with whatever he wants. I don’t want anything that will remind me of him or us. I’m starting a new chapter of my life today, so I want everything to be new and fresh.

As I pull up to the house, Jax is already coming to meet us outside. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It is not any easier seeing him today than it was yesterday. I open my eyes again, and remind myself our entire relationship has been a lie and I won’t let him see how much he has hurt me.

“Couldn’t come by yourself, Sam? Had to bring some muscles?” he says smugly, watching Micah climb out of his truck.

“We just want to help her get her stuff without any problems.” Micah lifts his hands up in the air.

“Yeah?” Jax rubs his chin as if he is contemplating something. I used to find that sexy, but now I find it disturbing. “Well, it’s where she left it.” He leans over a bit and gestures his hand to the front door, still looking at Micah. Micah nods, and we all follow Jax into the house. My heart is no longer pounding, and I’m actually relieved to see that more than anything, his attitude is pissing me off.

We waste no time throwing clothes into the trunk of my car and Micah’s back seat. I want to get out of here as fast as possible so I feel like I’m running back and forth from my car to the house. Jax hasn’t said a word since we’ve entered the house. He has just sat on the end of the bed, watching the three of us load up all of my belongings.

Holly and Micah get the last load of clothes. I grab all the letters from my dad out of the nightstand and stick them in my purse, then move to the bathroom to pack up my makeup, toiletries, and all that stuff a girl can’t live without.

“What are you doing?”

I spin around and my heart rate picks up. Jax is standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

“Packing up my stuff.”

“No, I mean what are you doing? Why are you leaving me?” He leans up against the door jam.

I’m starting to get pissy. “Because I walked in on you having sex with someone else.”

“But I don’t want to break up.” He smiles and it gives me goose bumps; the kind of goose bumps that scream danger. He pushes off the doorframe and starts to move toward me. I look to the hall behind him, panicking. Where are Micah and Holly?

My heart is pounding and my skin gets clammy. “Stay right there,” I demand, putting my hands up.

“Come on, babe, you know we’re good together. Can we just forget this ever happened?” His brown eyes are on mine, and that disturbing smile is still plastered on his face as he saunters towards me. He’s getting too close to me now, so I decide to run past him, but he catches my arm and pushes us out into the hall. He is holding my arm so tightly that I cry out.

“Let go!” I scream. I try to pull away, but he has a death grip on my arm. “Let go of me, Jax!” I yell in his face. He’s never acted this way before, and I don’t know how far he will take it.

That vicious smile drops off his face as he narrows his brown eyes at me. “No!” He growls. “I will not let go because you’re not leaving. You are such a little bitch, Sam. You think you can just walk away from me?” I see him lift his right hand, and I think for a second he’s going to hit me. I take both my hands and shove him, making him release my arm.

Before he can come towards me again, Micah has him pushed up against the far wall. “Don’t ever touch her or talk to her like that again, or I will beat the fuck out of you.” Micah’s face is inches from Jax.

Jax laughs, and it’s the most terrifying laugh I have ever heard. “You think he’s your friend?” He looks past Micah to me. “He’s not.” He looks back at Micah, who is still holding him up against the wall. “He knew I was with Bridgette the other night, but didn’t tell you.”

Micah punches him in the face. Blood instantly starts pouring from Jax’s nose.

“Fuck!” Jax cries out.

I look to Holly, who’s looking at Micah, opened mouth. Then I look to Micah. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so you better quit lying.” Micah pushes Jax up against the wall one last time before he lets him go.

“Of course you do. Slade walked into the room that night when I was with Bridgette, but told Sam I was just sleeping. Don’t tell me he didn’t tell you, Micah?” He has a cocky smile on his face as he tries to catch the blood running from his nose.

I feel my blood start to boil. Slade knew what was going on? Why didn’t he tell me the truth? Why would he lie to me? I mean, he doesn’t know me, but still. I told him I was Jax’s girlfriend. Why would Slade let him bring another girl there? Maybe he didn’t know Jax had a girlfriend until I called. He didn’t even act like he knew Jax when I called.

I’m so confused. Why would Slade help look for him if he knew he was there with another woman? That doesn’t make any sense. Why not just say, ‘No, he’s not here’ and leave it at that?

I hear commotion and look up to see the guys fighting. They are lying on the ground with Micah on top of Jax. I swear I can hear bones crushing as Micah punches Jax in the face. They’re both grunting, and there’s blood on the floor beside them. Micah gets up off of Jax, but Jax stands and starts to run for Micah.

I get in his way.

His hands make contact on my chest as he pushes me, and I fall back, hitting my head on something sharp and getting an instant headache. There are more voices, but I can’t quite make out what they are saying.

Everything goes black.

When I open my eyes, I realize two things. One, I have a pounding headache, and two, the smell of cleaners fill my nose as I look around the white walls, machinery and I’m lying on a rather small, uncomfortable bed.

I’m in a hospital.

“Miss Hall?” I look over to see an older gray haired man in a white coat is standing next to the bed.

“Yes?”
Ow.

I put my hand up to the back of my head, feeling a small bandage. My head is pounding so hard that it feels like it may explode.

“I’m Doctor Mathers. How are you feeling?” He looks down at a chart, then back up at me.

“What happened?” I rub the back of my head, gently trying to remember why I would be in a hospital.

“From what I was told, you were pushed and fell down hitting your head. You required a few stitches, but the results came back from your CT scan and everything looks normal.”

I nod my head as memories start to come back of the guys fighting and Jax shoving me out of his way.

“You will experience headaches. They are going to come and go.” He starts writing something down. “If you experience dizziness, ringing of the ears, loss of concentration, or nausea, please don’t hesitate to come back.” He rips a piece of paper off of the pad and hands it to me. “I have written you a prescription for mild painkillers and some anti-nausea tablets. Take them if you need them.”

“Thank you,” I say quietly.

He nods his head. “I need to send in someone from administration to get all of your insurance information. I’m going to go and get the paperwork started for your release. Do you have any questions or need anything?”

“Can you send my friend Holly in, please?” I know she must be somewhere in this hospital.

“Of course. I’ll be back one more time to check a few things before they release you.” He stands up and walks towards the door.

“Thank you.” I rest my head back on the bed, and take in a few deep breaths. How could I have been so wrong about Jax all of this time? He had never laid a hand on me before. I had never imagined that he would try to hit me. I take in another deep breath. My head may be pounding like a drum, but my heart is no longer broken.

It’s free.

What he did freed me. I no longer have to wonder what he is up to, or whether he’s lying to me. I no longer have to try and please him. All I have to worry about is myself.

Chapter Four

Slade

I walk out of the court room with a smile on my face, even though I’m exhausted. I’ve been up since 5:30AM. I put Julie in a cab after we fucked last night. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of letting her stay the night, so I told her I had to be up early. She tried to get my number, but I told her it wouldn’t matter, reminding her that I didn’t live here. She was hurt by that, but there was no need. I wasn’t going to see her again.