The Beginning of Us (284 page)

I stop pacing. “How long?” I yell, making her flinch.

“Three months,” she whispers.

I take a step back like I was just punched in the gut. “Three months?” I whisper. “All this time. These past five years you’ve made me think you hated me,” I say calmly.

She puts her hands up as she shakes her head “No, no, no. That was not my intention.”

“Well that’s how I took it,” I snap. “Pushing me away, not coming to my high school graduation. Not wanting to see me before I left for college. For fuck’s sake, I’ve been calling you every month and sending you money!”

I turn away from her, running a hand through my hair before returning back to her.

“You may be able to return the money, Mom. Money that I don’t give a fuck about!” I scream as I lift up the check and tear it to shreds. “What about the past five years, Mom? How are you going to return that? How could you just push me to the side like I wasn’t important enough for you to want around?”

I start to walk out of the room. “If I ever have a child, I will treat him or her like they should be treated. I would want to spend every last minute I had with them and my husband. I would show them that they are the most important thing in my life. I would never toss them to the side like trash!” I scream.

“Angel,” Slade stands as he finally speaks.

Screw that.

I have nothing to say to either of them. I don’t care what he has to say. I keep going and slam the front door. I run to our rental car and jump in, thanking God that Slade left the keys in the ignition.

I need to take a long drive.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Slade

I sit back down on Marie’s couch in shock. I can’t wrap my mind around what just took place in front of me.

Poor Angel. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through right now. I didn’t want her to leave. It’s not good for her to be out there on the road when she’s that upset.

I sigh as I look up and see Marie staring out the front window. Angel looks just like her. She has her beautiful green eyes and Barbie doll face. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, either.
Why wouldn’t she want to spend her last years with her daughter?
I rub a hand over my face as I look down to the carpet.

“You call her Angel.”

My head snaps up. Marie is looking at me with her back to the window. “Yes.”

A small smile forms on her face. She walks over to the fireplace picking up a picture, then sits in her recliner. She looks at the picture in her hand, then reaches over to hand it to me.

“That is Samantha and her father, Jack. That was taken right after I had her. It was her first picture. I’ll never forget what he said when he first held her. He called her our little angel from God.”

“He called her Angel?”
She never mentioned it.

“No.” She shakes her head. “Just that one time. He always called her princess. She was his little princess. I don’t expect you to understand what I did. I didn’t tell her because I wanted her to live her life. I didn’t want to bring her down with death.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand your reasoning. Now Angel will have to live the rest of her life always wondering about those five years she can never get back.” I set the picture on the coffee table and sit back in the couch.

She sighs. “She wouldn’t have gone to school and gotten a degree. She would have never met Jax.”

I scowl at that thought.

“Meaning she would have never met you.”

I shake my head. “You’re right again! I thank God every day that she found me, but I don’t want that to be at her mother’s expense.”

She tilts her head to the side. “Do you love her?”

“With everything I have. She is my life.”

She stands up and goes to open a dresser of a china cabinet sitting in the hallway. She returns holding a little red velvet box. She sits on the couch next to me. “I want her to have this. I want her to have something that was once very special and held meaning,” she croaks out as she opens the box to reveal two silver bands. One is tiny and has little diamonds all the way around it. The other one is just a plain silver band much bigger.

I take them out of the box and hold them in my hand.

“They were our wedding rings. You can melt them down and turn them into something new and special from you, or you guys can keep them this way.”

“I can’t.” I try to give them back to her, but she just closes my hand shut around the rings.

“You can,” she nods. “Marriage isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s hard work. But at the end of the day, no one will ever love you as much as my daughter does. I’ve been keeping close tabs on her all this time. I never let her get too far that I didn’t know what she was doing.”

I look up at her, not knowing what to say. She was always right there, so close yet so far, and in the process she has destroyed a piece of Angel. A piece that I don’t know if my love can patch.

“I love her, and I will never stop loving her. Thank you for these. They mean a lot to me, and will mean a lot to her.”

She bends over and gives me a hug. “I’m getting tired. I’m going to go to bed. Samantha’s room is the last room on the right upstairs.”

I lay in Angel’s bed sometime later, staring ahead at a bright pink wall and hoping she’s okay. I can’t get her to answer her phone, and I can’t stop wondering when she will be back. I also can’t stop thinking about those rings. I know without a doubt I want to make her my wife, but I’m worried about how she will deal with the news of her mother dying. She always pushes me away when it comes to situations she feels she can handle herself.

I hear a car pull up, so I sit up to look out the window. Angel is slowly getting out of the car. I jump out of her bed and run down the stairs to the front door. She is standing there, looking down at the welcome mat when I open it.

I sigh in relief that she’s back. She looks up at me; she looks exhausted. I pick her up and hold her against my body as she wraps her arms around my neck. I can feel her body lightly shaking from her quiet sobs. My heart breaks for her, knowing she’s missed so much time, and has such little time left with her mother.

I carry her up the stairs and into her room. I sit her on the end of the bed as I undress her. She’s being so quiet and it’s worrying me. I kneel down in front of her once she’s down to her underwear and bra.

“Angel.” Her now dull green eyes are bloodshot and puffy. They look nothing like the Angel I know and it pulls at my heart. “Talk to me, baby.” I push hair back off her face.

“I don’t want to talk.” She shakes her head and pulls on the collar of my shirt, pulling me closer to her body as her hands go in my hair and she brushes her lips to mine.

I hesitate and pull back a bit. I don’t think this is the right time for this.

“Please, Slade” she closes her eyes for a brief second, then opens them to look at me. “Please help me,” she sniffs.

“Help you what, Angel?” I whisper.

“Help me forget everything!”

My chest tightens and my stomach turns. Her heart is broken right now, and I know she’s afraid and scared. No words I say will comfort her, but I can show her. I can show her how much I need her. Because I do. I need her to know that I’m here for her; that I will be every step of the way. I’m not going to go anywhere. Anything she needs, I will provide it.

I stand up and pull my shirt over my head as I kick off my shoes. I watch her eyes as I undo my jeans and slide them off along with my boxers and socks. Her sad, heartbroken, green eyes never leave mine. She stands and undoes her bra then slides out of her yellow lace thong. As it hits the floor, I walk up to her so our bodies are touching. She slowly crawls backward onto her bed as I come to hover on top of her.

She places both of her hands on my chest, and guides me onto my back. She straddles me, then leans her mouth down to mine, giving me a sweet kiss. It’s so gentle and soft, and I can taste the salt from all the tears she’s cried. I wish I could take them away. I place my hands on her hips then let them glide up her back.

“Slade.” I feel her hand go around the base of my hard dick as she starts to guide herself on top of me. I look in her eyes. “I need to feel you. All of you.”

It takes me a second to understand she doesn’t want to use a condom. I know she’s on birth control, but she has never asked me not to use one. I wouldn’t care if she got pregnant; the thought of her carrying my child makes my heart swell.

My thoughts are forgotten once she starts guiding herself onto me. I arch my back and grip her tighter as she slides down my length.

Fuck!
I’ve never fucked without a condom.
Ever!
I never knew it could feel like this. She feels smooth as silk as she begins to ride me, setting a slow rhythm that makes me want to explode. She lies down on my chest with her head in the crook of my neck as her hips proceed to move tantalizingly slow. She is so soft and gentle, showing me something I had never known. We are making love.

I roll over, putting her underneath me. I sit up to look into her eyes. They are still red and puffy, but shining again. She looks up to me and smiles. A slow sexy smile that lets me know I’m helping her forget this terrible day. I’m not stupid. This is going to be a long and hard road for her. The next three months are going to drain her, then however long it takes her to grieve once she’s passed, but I know she is strong and I will be by her side no matter how hard she tries to push me away.

I stop moving and just sit inside of her, looking down on her face. She brings one hand up to cup my cheek. I lean my face into her hand and kiss her palm, then lean down to kiss her lips. My hips start to move again as I continue to make love to her. She places her hands on my back and I feel her fingertips run up and down my skin. A shiver runs through my body. I’ve never been inside of her while her hands roam my body. It’s amazing. Her touch is melting me from the inside out.

I pull out, then enter her slowly as she arches her back. I put my weight on her and tuck my arms underneath her back. She brings her hands up in my hair, pulling on it. I don’t think our bodies have ever been so close. We are connected in more ways than one.

I feel her body start to tighten and I hold her even tighter to me, my hips moving as her legs wrap around me. I bring my lips from the crook of her neck over to her mouth and I kiss her, deeply, showing her that I am here and I’m not going to let her go. She comes undone as I hold her, our lips locked together, bodies slick with sweat, and my mouth swallowing every moan and whimper she makes.

I follow right behind her.

I roll us over to our side and continue to hold her. I watch as she closed her eyes and falls asleep in my arms. We haven’t spoken a word to one another, but there is nothing to say. We already said it with our bodies.

*****

I can’t sleep. My thoughts are all over the place. I know she needs to go home, pack some bags, and come back to stay here with her mother. We have a flight that leaves in the morning, but I can call into work, drive her back to Tulsa in my truck then fly back to St. Louis. I could come down every weekend to be here for her. That would give them personal time together during the week. They can’t get those five years back, but they do have three months left.

With a sigh I get out of bed, throw my clothes back on, and head to the kitchen.

I see Marie as I close the fridge door. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Oh, you didn’t. I couldn’t sleep. I was up getting some things together for Samantha, and thought I would get some coffee. Would you like some?”

“Sure, thanks.” I sit down at the kitchen table and place my elbows on the table, putting my head in my hands.

“You look like you’re stressed, Slade.”

I nod “I am. I’m trying to plan and prepare for what Angel is going to do.” I talk to the table as my head still sits in my hands.

“What do you mean? What Samantha will do?” She sounds confused.

I pull my head up and sit back in the chair, letting my arms fall to rest on the table. “She’s going to come back and stay with you.”