The Believer (22 page)

"Yea, but how do we find one?" There were other men in wagons loading up crates and barrels, but they all seemed occupied with their own business.

"Have no worry, Brother Ethan. I have been to New Orleans many times since we started trading here. I know my way around now, but you can believe I was just as perplexed as you on my first trip. There were times I thought an alligator and a few snakes might be preferable company over some of the people I met here. So remember to mind your own business and step carefully. The two-legged snakes are the most dangerous kind"

As if to confirm his words, a line of five black men and two women came off the gangplank of one of the boats in the harbor. The chains binding them together at the ankle and wrist clattered and dragged on the wooden platform. The Negroes kept their eyes downcast, but their misery was easy to see in the droop of their shoulders and the shuffle of their bare feet. The woman at the end of the line looked aged, and she stumbled and fell to her knees. The white man behind her lifted the whip he carried, but before he could uncoil it, the man chained in front of the woman gently pulled her to her feet and kept his arm around her as they moved on without making a sound.

"Slave traders" Brother Issachar spat out the words.

Ethan knew of the slavery trade. It was spoken of in meetings, and a few of their brothers and sisters back at Harmony Hill were former slaves. Most had been the property of those seeking to become part of the Believers at Harmony Hill. In order to join with the Shakers, the owners had to free their slaves who could then go and do as they wished. Some decided to join with the Shakers where they were given full fellowship among the Believers. Mother Ann's tenets were clear on that. Man or woman, black or white, all were valued and considered equal.

So although Ethan knew of slavery and had seen men riding through their village searching for runaways, he'd never seen men and women in chains. Ethan's hands clenched into fists and the muscles in his legs tightened.

Brother Issachar put his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "Easy, brother. There are many things in the world that we cannot change:"

"But it's wrong"

"Yea, that it is, but we are peaceable men. And even if we were not, there'd be little we could do to help those unfortunate souls" Brother Issachar looked sorrowful as he stared straight into Ethan's face. "We're only two. We must leave the righting of many such wrongs to our Eternal Father."

Ethan looked back toward where the crowd had closed in behind the black men and women, blocking them from his sight. "It's different seeing such things with my own eyes than hearing it spoken of."

"Yea, that is so"

"The others, all these of the world, don't seem bothered by it"

"They're more used to the sight. They think it natural:"

"Surely they do not" Ethan couldn't believe that seeing men and women in chains could ever be a natural sight. When Brother Issachar only looked at him without answering, he went on. "I don't think I like these people of the world"

"The world's people aren't all slave traders or immune to the cruelty. Many here are much the same as our brethren and sisters back at Harmony Hill. Their outer garments will look different and they'll be of the world, but their hearts will be kind"

The boardinghouse room was small, with dust in the corners and a garish purple and red cover on the bed. The curtains on the small window might have once been white, but it was hard to tell now. Ethan rubbed clean a small circle on one of the windowpanes to look out at the wall of another building so close he could have opened the window and reached out to touch it.

"Mother Ann would tell us no good spirits could live here with all this dirt;' he said as he turned back to help Brother Issachar stack their boxes inside the door. There was barely room left to inch between the boxes and the bed.

"Yea, that she would:" Brother Issachar pulled one of their brooms out of a bundle and handed it to Ethan. "We can get rid of some of the dirt. And as soon as we sell our goods, we can head home:"

"Will it take long?" Ethan looked at the stack of boxes.

"Not so long. Are you homesick already?" Brother Issachar took off his hat and laid it on the boxes.

"Nay, not homesick exactly." It was hard for Ethan to explain as he began sweeping the dust out of the corners. He felt excited and scared and curious all at the same time, and he kept seeing Brother Martin frowning and shaking his head as if Ethan was falling into a pit of sin. "Just sort of out of my skin. I remember little of the world before I came to the Shakers"

"You would have known nothing of this world at any rate:" Brother Issachar sat down on the bed. Something neither of them would have ever done at Harmony Hill, but here there were no chairs on the floor or hanging on pegs along the wall waiting to be used as there would have been at the family houses.

"Except the man who claimed to be my father," Ethan said as he bent down to sweep under the bed. The thought that he might run across the man the others at the river had called Hawk was like a splinter of worry embedded deep in his mind that he couldn't seem to pluck out. Worry that was again mixed with something else. Curiosity. The kind of curiosity that could do naught but lead a man astray and bring him trouble.

"Worry not of him," Brother Issachar said. "Even if he still lives, he's not likely to be in the market for a broom or a bottle of our tonics:"

The days passed. They kept the dirt swept from their room and folded the garish bed covering and put it out of sight under the bed. Ethan managed to Shaker his plate and eat all he was given at the boardinghouse meals even though the spices in the food sometimes burned his tongue, for he'd been taught not to waste food. He and Brother Issachar were islands of quietude at the table, as the others there hardly stopped their talking long enough to chew.

There was a schoolteacher and a ship's captain-not a steamboat captain, but the captain of a ship that sailed on the seas. A newlywed couple was the object of much bawdy talk until the boardinghouse owner, a large woman with arms as big as the Shaker double rolling pins, put a stop to it by threatening to take away the plates of any who didn't abide by her stated rules of behavior. No guns or hunting knives at the dining table. Eat what she sat on the table without complaint and refrain from saying aught to spoil another boarder's appetite.

Mrs. Davey took a shine to Ethan. Any time he got close to her, she was wont to grab him and enfold him in her beefy arms even after Brother Issachar asked her to refrain from doing so.

"Now, Issachar," she said while Ethan took small breaths to keep from being overpowered by the woman's earthy smell. "The boy needs a hug or two. A body can see that plain as day in his eyes. You shaking Quakers missed the boat on that one. A growing boy needs a daily dose of loving same as food to make him into a real man:" She raised her eyebrows and gave Issachar a critical once-over. "You wouldn't want him to turn into a dried-up stick of a man like you, now would you?"

Not a bit bothered by her words, Brother Issachar laughed as he took hold of Ethan's arm to tug him free. Mrs. Davey patted Ethan's cheek before she let him go and said, "You want a little extra loving, my boy, I can hook you up with some pretty young thing. You're plenty old enough not to need your old Uncle Issachar's permission:"

Ethan's face turned red as a tomato ripe for picking. "Nay, I have no such wants"

Mrs. Davey laughed as she pinched his cheek. "So you say, but your eyes say different, dearie. Fact is, those blue eyes of yours put me in mind of a man I once knew. Hawk never got enough of anything:" She winked at Ethan. "Leastways nothing wicked:"

"Hawk?" The sound of the name sliced through Ethan.

Brother Issachar shook his head the barest bit at Ethan, but it was too late to keep from arousing Mrs. Davey's interest.

She peered at him with narrowed eyes. "So, you know Hawk? Mayhap there's reason for the blue in your eyes?"

"Nay;" Ethan said quickly, feeling little guilt at the lie. "Hawk just seems a curious name. I wondered if it was a first or last name.

"Could've been either, I suppose. Back then where we were, a person didn't tell no more than was needed about hisself. Seeing as how we weren't exactly always on the right side of the law." Mrs. Davey seemed suddenly concerned she might have said too much. She smoothed down her apron spotted with grease and sundry other stains. "I've left those days behind, don't you worry. I married Mr. Davey and the two of us lived upright as you shaking Quakers ever thought to:"

"And this Hawk? Did he end up paying for his wrongs?" Brother Issachar asked.

"If you mean did the law ever nab him, I'm saying not or he'd 'ave been swinging from a tree straightaway." Mrs. Davey pulled up her apron tail and fanned her face with it before she spoke again. "I've not seen him these many years, but I hear tell he's still making trouble down on the streets where the likes of you two shouldn't ought to go. They ain't got no use for Shaker brooms down that way, that's for sure:"

"Never fear. We'll be sure to keep our feet off those streets;' Brother Issachar said. "But perhaps you'd be interested in bartering for some of our room and board. A broom? Ajar of tonic? We'll be finishing up our sales and leaving on the morrow. You can plan on letting your room again after that"

Ethan went on out to the front stoop while Brother Issachar and Mrs. Davey made their deal. He stared at the people passing by on the street. Could he be looking straight at his father and not even know him? He didn't want to see him. He feared seeing him, but at the same time his eyes sought out each man who looked to be at least as old as Brother Issachar.

Had he lost all control of his thoughts? First, at Harmony Hill he let his heart chase after the new sister and even desired touching his lips to hers. The very thought of such was sinful. A sin that burned within him yet. And now his mind was entertaining questions about his worldly father. The devil had surely entered into him. Perhaps Brother Martin was right to have never approved him leaving the village. Perhaps he sensed some weakness in Ethan that made him know Ethan wouldn't be strong enough to stand against temptations of the flesh.

Ethan fell in beside Brother Issachar when he came out of the house. They gathered up their goods and headed toward the street without a word. Silence between them was not unusual as they had no need to fill the air between them with senseless chatter, but this silence was not easy and companionable. This silence bore down on Ethan until the weight of it made each breath an effort, as though the pack of herbs and seed envelopes he carried was ten times heavier than it was. Even so, he didn't speak. He had already spoken too readily to Mrs. Davey. He wouldn't compound his sin.

Brother Issachar didn't look to be bothered. He was the same as on any of the other days they'd gone out trading. He spoke kindly to those who stopped them, even the ones who laughed at their clothes, and most carried away some Shaker seeds or herbs. It wasn't much past mid-afternoon when a storekeeper took all their remaining stock.

Back out on the street, Brother Issachar didn't turn toward the boardinghouse. "We can take some time for the sights now that we've done our duty. It's been a good trip. The Ministry will be pleased with the profit:"

As they walked, Brother Issachar talked of how fire had burned through the town several times before the turn of the century. "Some claimed it was the Lord's punishment on the city for its wicked ways. They said the same last year when the yellow fever carried off over seven thousand of the citizens here:"

"But in that number there had to be good and bad alike, even if they were of the world:" Ethan looked over at Brother Issachar. They had stopped at a channel of water, and Brother Issachar was looking out over the water as if he wished there was a boat to take him farther to see more.

"Yea. Fevers take sweet innocent babes as well as their more sinful parents:"

"So do you think that was the Eternal Father's punishment on the parents' wrong living?" He thought Brother Martin would say so, but there were some things Ethan struggled to understand.