Read The Best Book in the World Online
Authors: Peter Stjernstrom
T
o reach people one should use language that is full of imagery. Several investigations by American presidential election campaigns show that the candidate who uses the most metaphors wins the election.
The following metaphors are recommended for tight
situations
at press conferences and can be easily adapted to different branches and situations. The selection is based on quotes from the legendary Detective Chief Inspector Håkan Rink.
Regrettably, we have only seen the tip of the iceberg.
Now we must look beyond the horizon.
We must weather the storm.
A bit of spray never hurt anybody.
There is something fishy about this.
Now we’ve got the wind in our sails.
He has sunk very deep.
Other serial killers are waiting on the lee side.
They are splashing about in a backwater.
Like ripples on the surface.
We are following a strong lodestar.
And we have an inner compass.
We pour oil on the waters.
It’s a question of staying afloat.
Now he’ll have the wind against him.
The mist is lifting.
Full steam ahead.
Time to sever the hawser.
Now we’ll launch her.
We’ll reach shore yet.
The coast is clear.
We’ll soon be in harbour.
A
stra is back from her holiday and has arranged a little meeting. Since only three people know about the project, they are gathering at Astra’s flat. Titus usually only visits Winchester’s either when he’s got a new book coming out, or if there is a party there. There is no reason to turn up now and start speculation as to what is in the offing.
Publishing people are experts on speculation and conspiracy theories. One might well think that book publishing is their core activity: to refine the work of their authors with the best interests of the readers in mind, to do everything in their power to market and sell books in the best way possible. And, indeed, they do all of that. But what really absorbs most of their time and energy is speculation and conspiracies: buttering up agents to try to steal profitable authors from other houses, getting authors with falling sales figures to write less often or even to switch to another publisher, watching every step that their competitors take. If, for example, another company publishes a book by an author they have turned down, they must be on their guard – the wrong rhetoric at that stage can lead to devastating articles on the arts pages, and their brand name could be undermined. If the sales figures are bad, then they must get their message out quickly: ‘We said no to that manuscript straight away. No commercial potential at all – a child could have seen that.’ If it’s a success, then the opposite applies: ‘Yes, we were sent the manuscript. We got it first, as usual. Unfortunately we were in the midst of a rather complicated re-organisation at the time because things are going so exceptionally well for us. The selection process fell between two stools. But we would like to be the first to congratulate the author.’
Astra Larsson plays the publishing game brilliantly, but on two
important counts she differs from many others: she is more interested in succeeding than she is afraid of failing, and she spreads positive vibes which soon extend in good circles. She loves her publishing house. Her publishing house loves her.
Of course, she gives Titus a warm hug at the door.
‘Hello, Titus, you’re looking really well!’
‘Thanks, same to you. Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with such a tan before. Have you had a good time?’
‘Fantastic. A real holiday. Snorkelling, eating good food, renting a moped. I didn’t even have any sticky manuscripts with me, I read completely ordinary books. It was great. Come in!’
They enter the living room. There sits Evita in an enormous egg armchair in reddish-brown leather. When she sees Titus, she gets up and approaches him with open arms.
‘Hello Titus. Been a long time!’
‘Indeed. Lovely to see you.’
Titus hugs Evita and sits down on the sofa. Astra asks if he wants a latte or double espresso. He chooses espresso and Astra goes into the kitchen area. Soon there is a hissing and buzzing from the coffee machine. They chat about the summer. Evita says a new baker has come to the island where she has her summer house. He bakes unbeatable Karlsbader buns. Astra wonders what they are. Evita explains how wonderful they taste instead of answering the question. Astra describes her island-hopping in Greece. Evita wonders aloud if there are still a lot of guys on the beaches trying to pick you up. Astra describes the Greek food instead of answering the question.
Titus doesn’t say much. He realises that he has hardly done anything special at all during the summer, but it has been one of the most exciting periods in all his life. He has penetrated deep inside the brain of a serial murderer, he has done research on how human relations work in the police force, he has learnt lots about surrealism, art history, cooking, the behaviour of drug addicts, losing weight, the mass media and a whole lot of other useful stuff. He has produced great experiences without having to experience the slightest bit of them himself. Not since his visit to Dr Rolf, at any rate.
‘So, what’s your summer been like?’ Evita wonders, looking at Titus.
He’s looking really young, she thinks. She remembers him as bigger and more heavily built. Not exactly bloated, but lacking sculptural form. Now he looks really fit, with decent proportions. Hasn’t he got a bit of a tan too? Mm, what a smasher, she thinks, and tries to catch Astra’s eye to exchange a meaningful look.
Astra sees it and responds with a smile, neutral but not too encouraging. She knows that Evita devours men like builders devour burgers and she doesn’t think Titus is particularly interested in that type of attention. But sure, he does look like a new man. She is glad for Titus’ sake. It is a good omen.
‘It’s been a good summer. A bit rough at the beginning, but it got better and better,’ says Titus, who realises that they are curious as to how things have gone.
Now it’s a matter of delivering the goods. He doesn’t beat around the bush.
‘The structure works well. It is short and concise, just as we discussed. Now I’m incorporating a really juicy crisis. This is going to be something quite extraordinary.’
‘Gosh, how exciting. Tell us!’ says Astra enthusiastically.
Titus gives them a serious look and, after a theatrical pause, lowers his voice to a minimum volume.
‘After a long chase, Håkan Rink and his team know who the murderer is. They have even ascertained his whereabouts. When the police go in to grab him, it transpires that the whole thing is a gigantic set-up. The murderer has his own agenda and has steered the investigation exactly where he wants it. He is aware that Håkan Rink has become a national hero through his press conferences, which are broadcast live at prime time. Rink has solemnly vowed to bring an end to the surrealist terror. The murderer is fed up with all of that, and he is going to show that it is he who is in control. To the very end.’
Titus is silent.
‘Then what happens?’ Evits asks eagerly.
He looks at her thoughtfully.
‘I’m not going to say any more now. I think it’s bad karma for the project to talk about things that haven’t been written yet. But this I can say: it will be very degrading for all parties. Very, very unpleasant.’
‘You can’t do this,’ Evita shouts and laughs. ‘It sounds terribly exciting!’
Titus smiles at her. He believes her. He knows it is good.
She stops laughing and looks at him. There is something about his eyes that touches her. He looks so resolute. There is something incredibly attractive about resolute men, she thinks, especially when they work for her.
Evita is pleased with her investment. Astra and she have evidently got this right. The early reports had of course pointed in that direction, but now that impression has been confirmed. Titus Jensen is back in business. Stronger and better than ever. And more handsome.
She turns towards Titus and puts her hand on his arm.
‘Can we read it soon?’
‘Yes, indeed. I’ve got the manuscript with me. Like I said, there are a few chapters still to do, and I’m going to go through the whole manuscript again, several times. But on the whole this is what the book will look like.’
Titus fishes up a little memory card from his jacket pocket and puts it on the coffee table.
‘Here’s the flash card. You’ll be careful with this, won’t you?’
‘Naturally, Titus, you know that. We’ll do the same as the first time: we shall only read it on our e-book readers – no emailing, and we won’t save anything on the company servers for a while yet. This is still our little secret, isn’t it Evita?’ says Astra, looking at Evita.
‘Absolutely. I loved the first bit I read and I can’t imagine it is any less good now. Yes, this is our little secret. But – I have actually started to leak a little,’ she says with a knowing look.
Titus stiffens. What does she mean? Hadn’t they agreed that it would be super secret?
‘I have spoken to the people at Winchester Agency. They are the
ones who take care of our international rights, as you know.’
Titus knows very well what they do, even if he himself hasn’t been a success on the international market. The agents are the people who negotiate the rights for foreign books for translation to the Swedish market, and it is they too who sell Swedish authors to other countries. The deals are made at the big international book fairs. In Sweden the annual book fair in Gothenburg is the most important meeting place. There, the agents present their new titles and compete with the other agents to buy and sell the latest fad book.
Fad books might be ones that have been an unexpected success in one market, or they could be the result of a deliberate PR campaign around a long-awaited author comeback. But a genuine fad book is a book that sticks out on its own merits, one of those exceptional books that appears once in ten years and which the whole world wants to read just because it is so wonderfully unique. People who devour books love a fad more than anything else, and the best fad books are picked up fast as lightning by the professional commentators on the arts pages: journalists dig up exciting background stories and the myth grows all the larger. Booksellers love fad books, too; when somebody has read a fad book, sales of other books get a big boost as people rediscover the joy of reading, tell others what a great read the book is and buy more by the same author or books with a similar theme. A really good fad book can even get people who have never before read a book to go into a bookshop, and once they have acquired the taste for book adrenaline they immediately want even more experiences. Suddenly people are talking about literature during lunch breaks and starting to watch culture programmes on TV. They buy even more books, and spread their new-found delight to children and friends.
Yes, fad books are the very blood cells of the circulatory system of the book industry. Without a fad book now and then, the business would wilt. Evita loves fad books and wants to be involved with them.
‘I have told the agents that we are bringing something really exciting to Gothenburg at the end of September. I haven’t said
what it’s about, I’ve just told them to book in the largest
international
publishers for personal presentations with me, Astra and a secret author who has written a book with a considerable international potential.’
‘Gosh, now you’re making me a bundle of nerves,’ says Titus, looking very worried.
‘It’s all right Titus. I know what I’m doing.’
‘Are you sure? I don’t like celebrating victories in advance. I suppose I’m a bit superstitious. Not just a bit – I am terrified by this stuff. You know that I’ve always been drunk when I did that sort of thing before.’
Evita puts her hand on Titus’ arm again. She looks deeply into his eyes.
‘Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll take care of this, Astra and me, we’ll fix it. All you have to do is come along with us to Gothenburg. We are staying at Park Avenue. You’ll go upstairs to bed when the others go to the bar, eat a VIP breakfast in peace and quiet on the top floor, go to a few, important meetings at the International Rights Centre down in the fair hall. What do you think?’
Titus is silent. He looks at the flash card in the middle of the table. A well-developed embryo, a foetus which will soon be born as a baby and have a long and rich life. Should it just lie there? Can’t Astra take care of it straight away? He thinks it looks abandoned, but he doesn’t say anything because he has no wish to give an unnecessarily nervous impression.
From the other side, Astra stretches across and lays her tanned hand on Titus’ arm.
‘It’ll be fine, Titus. This way everything will roll along much faster. We’ll release the book in Sweden just after the February book sale and then it can be published in other countries in the autumn. Nowadays books have about six months in the limelight – we must turn as many spotlights on as we can during that time.’
‘Okay…’
‘Fine,’ says Evita. ‘It’ll be okay, won’t it? Will you finish in time? In that case, we shall prepare a really thorough presentation.
Synopsis and author portrait, some decent reader’s reports, we might even translate a few chapters. We shall print a fancy folder a few days before the fair – glossy, the exclusive touch. That will work for Frankfurt, too. Astra and I will be going there a week or so after Gothenburg. And you, Titus, we must take some photos of you too. You look so… good at the moment.’
‘Thanks. Yes, I’ll certainly finish in time. As long as nothing unexpected happens…’
‘Haha, and what might that be?’ laughs Astra, and flashes a big smile at him. ‘Everything’s going perfectly.’
Now Titus smiles too. It does undoubtedly feel tip-top. He was been working like a maniac all summer. Despite this, he feels strong and rested. He knows that the manuscript is good and that it is going to get even better before he is finished with it.
This is the first time for ages that he has felt the frisson of female company. Evita’s hand on his arm has stirred him; every time she touches him, he gets a tickling sensation on his neck and down his back, in a pleasant way. He regards it as yet further proof that he is on the way back to a real life. She isn’t by any means the
she-monster
that people say, he thinks. She is lovely. Pretty, too, with a sexy appetite for life and not just conventional feminine allure. That said, her feminine attributes tick all the boxes, too: skin and legs and décolletage and red lips wherever you look! She is sort of steaming a little. Simply fabulous. Wonder if she’s got a man at the minute?
The three of them continue chatting a while and discuss the details of the schedule. Titus describes how he is going to create several crises in the story before he ignites the final crescendo. Astra talks of the importance of building up the characters slowly so that the tension is retained throughout the book. Titus agrees with her, that is precisely what he has done. Evita has some
anecdotes
from the media world, asks whether Titus remembers when they launched
Baroque in Their Blood
and she fell asleep in the middle of the reading at the release party. He doesn’t remember, but Astra does, and she jokingly puts her hands over her ears and shouts out that she doesn’t want to remember or hear a single
word about it. Evita laughs and touches Titus’ arm. Titus shivers with pleasure. Evita eats him with her eyes. Astra smiles with the whole of her face and loves her job.