The Best of Fools (Jane Austen Book 2) (30 page)

"Am I being kicked out?"

"No." He laughed. "You're more than welcome to stay, if you can handle the rent, but I have a renter for the store area downstairs and I think I'd feel more comfortable with that. Then your rent is cut in half and more affordable."

"But ... then I won't have any way to make money. Without the store and all."

"I don't think the store is working out."

A car beeped. I forgot I was in the car. An old man whipped around and tossed his fist in the air as he zoomed by me.

I started to accelerate, but the light turned red again.

"Please, can I just have one more chance? I've been working really hard on this new line and it may not work, but I need to try. I really just need one more month. Then if it doesn't work out, I'll go."

"Look, I'm really sorry. I hate to do this, but I need to pay the rent on this building and I have a renter who wants to put an organic ice cream shop down there. Their business plan is very organized and I think it's the best option for now."

"But I signed a lease."

"Your lease is month-to-month. That's what we planned so that you didn't get stuck if things didn't work out."

He went through a few more logistics while I finished driving home in a daze. When I got there I called my bank account. Sure enough, I was down to $1344. Just shy of paying rent. But with Zoe's $400 I could at least pay the remainder of our rent just for the loft.

My store.

I parked and stared at the brick wall until it blurred and my eyes morphed it into a solid red wall.

"No," I said to myself. "You won't give up. Not yet."

"How can I not?" I responded to myself. "The world is against me."

"If the world was for you, then I'd worry."

"But I'm talking to myself. That's a cause for worry."

"Yep."

I laughed and got out of my car, pausing to look at my reflection. "I won't give up. No matter what."

Of course Brooke and Han were disappointed, but they seemed more sad for me than their jobs. I only paid them part-time anyway, but now they'd need to find something else to fill in the gaps.

"I am so, so sorry," I said to them for the fifty thousandth time.

"What will you do now?" Brooke said. "Find another location?"

"I'm out of money. I just sent the last of my money out for rent. Now I've got a month to make more or I won't have enough to live here next month."

She looked at Han, who had glassy eyes.

"I'm not going to let this stop me. Maybe it's not the right time. My mom always said to me ... when the right thing comes at the wrong time, it can look like the wrong thing, but if you just hold out for the right time you'll realize it was meant to be." I smiled. "I'm sticking with that."

Took all I had to remain positive. I wanted to believe I'd have my own clothing line one day, but it definitely wasn't as easy as I envisioned. I did everything right. Even studied the trends to get ahead of the curve with a style everyone would love.

Except they didn't love it. They would as soon as a major label put it out. Or a celebrity paraded down the street in something similar.

But the right time would come eventually. Maybe not now. But soon. I was determined to see it happen.

The thing about the
right
time is you need to go through a lot of
wrong
times before finally discovering the right one. Just like dating, I wasn't a fan of wasting time on the wrong ones.

Especially because it's just plain embarrassing.

The end of August snuck up on me way too fast. Brooke and Han worked for free, helping me finish an entire store's worth of Batman-inspired clothes. I was so proud of these designs, yet I had no store to sell them in.

I spent almost the entire month looking for a job, with failing interview after failing interview. Some companies knew me as "the girl who got sued," and others weren't interested in an eighteen-year-old dreamer, no matter how sophisticated I tried to be. Every job that paid enough to sustain me and help me lease a store didn't work out. I wasn't qualified enough. My work history consisted of a swim school and an unsuccessful business venture. So I didn't blame them, but I was a week away from rent and I barely had enough money to eat.

Autumn knocked on my door. I let her in and she hugged me as hard as possible.

"I ... can't ... ribs ... ouch..."

"I'm leaving," she said. "Can you believe it? One more week and I'm miles and miles away."

"Are you ready to eat?"

She turned back to the door and walked into the hallway. I followed and called up to Zoe. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she yelled.

"Come lock the big lock. Just to be safe."

"I will."

"Has she gotten a restraining order yet?" Autumn said.

"Not sure. I think it involves court and stuff. I really don't know though. Zoe's a private person with that side of her life. I probably know more than anyone else. Even Donovan didn't know as much as she told me."

"How's Donny? Feel like I haven't seen him in forever."

"He's good, I guess."

We walked down to the car and talked about everything from college to job interviews as she drove. I told her to be careful. I was enduring a bad luck streak, even though I didn't believe in luck, and didn't want to get into an accident.

"Maybe you should believe in luck," she said as we entered the restaurant. "Maybe that's been the problem all along."

"Oh, no." I sighed as we walked in.

"What now?"

"That guy over there." I tried not to make eye contact, but he already saw me. "Don't look at him."

"Huh? What guy?"

"Party of two?" the hostess said.

"Yes," Autumn said. "Two, thanks."

The hostess led us toward the guys over there.

"Oh, actually would it be okay to sit on the other side of the restaurant?" I said.

"This is all I have open right now," she said. "Or that booth over there."

Even closer to him. "No, this is fine. Thank you."

Autumn sat down, set her purse on the bench beside her, and raised her chin. "Um...."

"That guy." I leaned in. "He hit on me at the phone store the other day and now he saw us."

She looked.

"No, no. Don't look. Don't encourage it ."

"Wow." She smiled and waved at him and his friend. "They're hot."

"You're leaving in a few days and I'm not interested." I hid my face in the menu. "So stop smiling and waving at them."

"They're coming. They're coming!"

"Ugh. Autumn. I'm gonna kill you."

I set the menu back down and faked a smile. "Oh, hey."

He smiled. "Hey, Jane. This is my friend Noah. And..." He looked at Autumn.

"I'm Autumn." Oh no. Autumn turned into another person around boys. Flipped her hair and did stupid stuff. I wasn't prepared for this tonight. She shook their hands. "So, Noah and...."

"Cameron," the guy said.

"Oh, I love that name."
Autumn. Please.

I busied myself with the menu.

"Could we eat with you?" Cameron said. "We just got here too."

"Yes!" Autumn scooted over.

"N—" I tried to object.

"Yeah, sit down." She waved them in. "We could use the company."

"We could?" I said without looking up from the menu.

"Jane, since you're so interested in that menu," Noah said, "how about you just read it aloud to us?"

I glanced up, then back down.

"She's anti-men," Autumn teased, knowing it would provoke my defensive speech.

But I decided to go ahead and read the menu aloud. And I did. All the way down the wine list too. When I finished I looked up at Autumn and Noah. And Cameron who was laughing beside me.

"So." I closed my menu. "What'll it be guys?"

"It's your treat, right?" Noah said.

"Of course." I played along. I didn't like him.

"You'll have to excuse her," Autumn said. "She's been rejected by the only guy she's ever loved."

"According to him I didn't actually love him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Noah said.

The waiter set a root beer in front of me and a water in front of Autumn, then asked everyone what they wanted. Noah ordered a chicken pasta thing, Cameron got the steak and potato meal, and Autumn went with a large salad and a soup.

Then me. "I'll have five orders of the brownie dessert. Extra caramel sauce, please." I handed her my menu. "Yes, I'm serious."

Cameron laughed while Autumn inched toward Noah. By the end of the night she'd be on his lap.

"So why are you anti-men?" Noah said.

"Well, really it depends on the size of the penis."

Noah spit his soda out and Cameron's took a journey through his nose.

"She's kidding." Autumn grinned. "I hope."

"I'm not anti-anything," I said. "I love all things. In moderation."

"Jane believes that to date a guy you need to give him your heart or fall in love."

"And what do you believe?" Noah said.

"I believe in cutting strings and having fun."

"What about you Noah?" I looked at Cameron. "And you. What do you guys believe?"

"I'm good with no strings," Noah said.

"I think it depends on the girl," Cameron said.

My five brownies were suddenly in front of my face. I picked up a spoon and wasted no time. Autumn flirted during the entire meal. Cameron asked if he could have one of my brownies. I slid it to his side of the table and spaced out. Memories of Autumn drifted in and out of my mind. Our friendship over the years. Her excitement for life. The way she danced even when there was no music and then, when asked, she'd say, "There's always music."

In a week she would be gone for nine months, only visiting on holidays. Then she'd be gone the next three years after that. I imagined her with new friends. New interests. And I genuinely worried we'd grow apart.

I watched her twirl her straw and bat her eyelashes across the table and I didn't even care about the two guys sitting with us. All I cared about was taking pictures with my mind. Of my Autumn. My friend. My sister.

"It won't change that much," I said to myself.

"What won't" Cameron said.

"Oh, just the brownies. Sometimes they're wrapped in new packages, but they're still the same brownies."

He thought I was crazy. I liked that.

We finished eating, Autumn, of course, wrote her number on a receipt and slipped it into Noah's pocket. Cameron shifted his weight from one foot to the other until he finally stuttered a string of words. If I was interested in dating people I knew weren't right for me, I would've given him a chance. He was a very clean type of attractive guy. Probably the kind of guy cast in a romance film. And he had charm to him, a gentle child-like quality, but he was extremely shy. Forward, but shy. Unsure of himself. Like me. I knew myself well enough to know that I needed someone confident in himself without being conceited. Someone like Donovan.

Or Alistair.

"Still not interested?" he said.

"It wouldn't work anyway."

"Okay."

Autumn finally pried herself from Noah and the guys got into Cameron's car. As they drove away she waved at them.

"So deliciously sexy," she said through her smile. "Wow."

"Aren't they a bit old for us?"

She put her hand down and laughed. "Really, Jane? There's no such thing. As long as it's not over ten years."

"So there is such a thing then. Ten years? That's like ... he's in college while you're in middle school. Creepy."

"The older we get the less creepier it'll be. Come on, those guys were ridiculously hot. I could just—"

"I'd prefer to leave that a mystery."

"Why didn't you just give Cameron one date? Just one little date."

"Waste of time."

"I'll never understand."

"Likewise."

"Before I leave I want you to go on one date for fun. No strings. No relationships. Nothing serious. Just one date."

"I don't get why you people think that's fun. I'd rather spend the night home alone drawing and actually accomplishing something."

"Just one."

"Nope."

"What was it about Alistair that made you give him a chance?"

"I didn't give him a chance."

"You like him."

"Probably that he didn't give up. He was sweet. I don't know. There's something there or there isn't. He has something." We walked to the car as I imagined the afternoon we spent together, the phone calls, and the Batman roses that wilted by my bedside. "He made me feel."

"And now you'll never talk to him again."

"If not, then it wasn't meant to be."

"Do you think there will ever be a right time with Don?" She sat down in the car.

I did too, shaking my head as I pulled the door closed.

"Why?"

"He's going to marry Han."

"But he really loved you."

"The heart can only love a broken heart so much until it breaks itself. She's healing him. She's putting his pieces back together." My eyes burned. "I want that for him."

"Is that why you're stopped at a green light?"

"Precisely."

Dad never was the I-told-you-so type, but I still expected him to be disappointed in me, which is why I stalled during my entire visit with them.